Day 2 of new yard and already feel miserable... :(

hch4971 said:
OMG, the comment about him being a dealer so what does he care would have finished me!
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Believe me, I wouldnt dream of telling him that, he would have him back on the lorry tomorrow and at home again whilst paying for me to travel every day! He is so NOT your typical quick turnover dealer, horses are broken, brought on, taken out to compete, looked after, he wouldnt dare sell a horse to the wrong person, if the person doesnt get on with the horse he takes it back no questions asked...he prides himself on a good reputation and being incredibly knowledgeable when it comes to horses, so I think it was a bit of a flippant comment to be honest!
 
"well he's a dealer so doesnt really care as long as the horses sell"
Answer, Well you are a yard owner so will say anything to be seen as the most knowlegable person in the universe! You could not actually say it but it would be fun :D
 
I'll lend you my mare for a week to show them what an unsettled horse is like, she'll make yours look like an angel :D

I know it's hard but try not to take it to heart, you both need time to settle.

I like the suggestion to ask them if they want to ride him to show you what to do ;), please video it if you do and they take you up on it :D:p
 
claudiacox14 said:
Next I realised the mounting block is static, which may be an issue as he isn't the best mounter. 3 attempts and I knew this wasnt going to happen, so I asked the YO to help me sort it out and sure enough after 10 mins he was fine. However, again I was mortified by the small collection of people stood watching and clearly thinking I was an idiot.

Take your own portable mounting step in. :)

Then I get on, and within about two minutes I have three people telling me he has a serious problem, and will only ever be good for some hacking for the rest of his life. I am fully aware he has a conformational issue, but I am also fully aware of how bad it is and what he can and cannot do. Instead, I had to watch him walk next to another horse so they could highlight just how broken he was.
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At the risk of being a bitch, what if they're right and you're wrong? Over the years I've come across some very unsound horses whose owners are convinced they just have a strange action or a "mis-alligned pelvis", etc . I generally let people get on with it but seeing as these people haven't, aren't you in the least bit concerned that they might be trying to do your horse a favor? Maybe you're right and what they're seeing isn't there, but don't just dismiss what they are trying to tell you if they might have a point.
 
Flame_ said:
At the risk of being a bitch, what if they're right and you're wrong? Over the years I've come across some very unsound horses whose owners are convinced they just have a strange action or a "mis-alligned pelvis", etc . I generally let people get on with it but seeing as these people haven't, aren't you in the least bit concerned that they might be trying to do your horse a favor? Maybe you're right and what they're seeing isn't there, but don't just dismiss what they are trying to tell you if they might have a point.
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They are right, he does have a conformation issue, I knew this when I bought him. However, I know the extent of the issue and what it limits him to etc, which is not a lot! I have had it checked over and I know it will not put him in paid or discomfort, it simply means he is not "perfect" (although to me he is!). He is completely sound and should stay that way.
 
Ignore them and just enjoy your horse.
Get a wee stool for mounting from and let him settle in
Get your step dad to check him over, if hes a dealer with a good eye he'll know if the horses moving correctly and sound.
The issues you had that morning are easily resolved by a portable mounting block and a smile with a "thanks but i know my horse is fine, hes just finding it all a bit new at the moment"
 
I've just moved my new horse to a new yard and experienced the same but on a smaller scale! I think it's hilarious!!

Everyone on the yard thinks he is a broken, crazy thoroughbred with loads of problems! - But the truth is that he is a typical thorughbred ex-racer!

The 'problems' everyone has picked on to make him broken and crazy!!:

-He is too skinny... Typical Ex-racer!
-He windsucks... Typical Ex-racer
-He got photosensitivity (heels & nose) which caused swelling in one leg and lameness... Prone to it - sensitive skin
-He can't eat apples properly so has bad teeth!... Horses were not intended to eat apples! And a baby tooth had fallen out so was a bit sore - had dentist out just in case!! Lol
-He doesn't stand still for mounting... Typical Ex-racer
-He is excitable for the first few mins of riding... Normal for a horse in new surroundings
-He spooked at something hidden in the grass on his fist hack... Typical for a horse in new surroundings
-He has crap feet... Typical thoroughbred
-He doesn't like to be alone... Typical for a horse that has been in company all his life

... I just laugh when they pick up on any 'problems' :p:p:p

There is also another horse on the yard that hasn't got great confirmation and moves a little funny behind.. The know-it-all's say it has never or will never be sound! I know for a fact that it upset's the owner of this horse that people slag it off. It is an ex-racer that needs re-schooling and he struggles in the school with circles etc!..
 
I think most yards have there know it alls :D. My old boy was 17.2 bucked, stamped feet and squeled daily having temper tantrums.
For leading he reared and boxed down on you he was dangerous :( I got him for next to nothing because of this :) me and my instructor worked bloody hard and he was amazing in the end :)
One lady I was on livery with moved yards and talked me into going to this new yard.
By this time my horse was competing medium dressage and could jump any track you put in front if him, though I only jumped at home :D
When I moved people seemed scared of him and wispers of that is a nutter beleive me if you seen him 3 years ago I don't know what you would think cause all he done was throw in a few bucks at this stage but worked excellent.
There was also rumours he charges you in the feild no you dim wits he comes to call. When he hears you calling yours in he thinks everyone wants him in :D
I found it amusing to be honest.
I became friends with one if the liveries who kindly told me the wispers and rumours came about from the lady that persuaded me to move there :(
Everyone soon got to know how loving and just quirky my boy was. He was pts soon after and the comments on him were lovely unlike when we moved there:)
People will soon get to know you and your horse and the ring leaders of the know it alls let them get on with it and smile happily in the knowledge what a sad life they must have if all they have to do is sit at yard picking faults :D
 
I just don't understand why people are bitchy? If you came to our yard we would welcome you, probably ask if you need help with your horse and if you said no, just let you get on with it. We would appreciate that your horse is also settling in still. We would never pick out a horses flaws, and no horse is perfect anyway. I just find this unbelievable - poor you! As others have said, just get on with it and ignore them, they will soon get bored if they get no rise out of you.
 
All livery yards have stuff like that going on -lots of people think they know all there is to know about everything. Just ignore them and have confidence in your own abilities. Everywhere where there are more than 2 people together, there will be gossip and criticism. Don't worry about it. Just enjoy your horse.
 
Try and see the positive. People are talking to you, being friendly, trying to help and advise you as you are young - and showing an interest. People at my livery yard ignored me, walked past/away, and sneered and sniggered to themselves and amongst themselves in their clique when I had difficulty settling my horse in. Which is worse?
 
I'm not sure if I understood properly.. Was it the YO on the phone to your dad, who poo-pooed about him being a dealer, or another livery? Was the YO around when they were "demonstrating" with another horse how bad yours was? If the YO was involved, then its a bit out of order.. If I were your step dad I would be down there telling the YO that I was paying for livery, not to have my step daughter intimidated and made to feel bad. I'm always on the defence of livery owners, but to allow a group of liveries to stand around and peck at a new person - especially a youngster is not very good. Unless, of course, they really were worried that you weren't safe or the horse was not sound...

I'd be interested to hear what happens OP.x
 
Honey08 said:
I'm not sure if I understood properly.. Was it the YO on the phone to your dad, who poo-pooed about him being a dealer, or another livery? Was the YO around when they were "demonstrating" with another horse how bad yours was? If the YO was involved, then its a bit out of order.. If I were your step dad I would be down there telling the YO that I was paying for livery, not to have my step daughter intimidated and made to feel bad. I'm always on the defence of livery owners, but to allow a group of liveries to stand around and peck at a new person - especially a youngster is not very good. Unless, of course, they really were worried that you weren't safe or the horse was not sound...

I'd be interested to hear what happens OP.x
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After YO, livery and farrier had stood with me telling me he is a good for nothing, I rang step-dad to say what had happened and that maybe he should come down to check him out. I then put him on the phone to YO so she could explain her concerns. After they were on the phone I got the whole hes a dealer line from the YO. To her credit, she did call last night to see if I was ok, but I dont think it was a "I'm sorry we upset you we went about it the wrong way" phonecall, more of a "Oops upset the new livery best check she still wants to stay here". I was most definitely safe (he wouldnt even buck if his life depended on it) and he is most certainly sound!

Today my use of bandages and how I did up the girth was the focus of criticism. If only my uni house came with a stable, a sandschool and an acre of grazing...
 
Isn't there another yard you could take him to? That place sounds most unpleasant to me and I certainly wouldn't be very happy with that sort of attitude from people who didn't know either me or my horse! There's trying to help and just interfering and this sounds like just interfering to moi.

What distance could you cope with travelling and I might be able to suggest somewhere?

Fairy
 
"I would move him if YO is in on the action.

It is unproffesional IMO and sounds rather childish. " Totally agree with daisybee33.

Just because they own a yard does not necessarily make them better or more knowledgeable than the rest of us horsey people. I would just keep your head down and start to look for somewhere new I dont know about anyone else but my horses take up my life, time , money and energy and i would not put up with giving my hard earned cash to a yard owner with this nasty attitude. I love my yard owner and they couldnt do enough for me and never in a million years would she get involved with yard titter tattle. that dosent mean to say if she thought something wasnt right with my horse she wouldnt say. But it would be done in a professional and friendly manner away from anybody else..

really hope you get this sorted, i think your being very patient with people here. Good luck :)
 
Meh! Ignore them, seems like there are certain people that you come across that know absolutely everything!
Try n come out with a comment back to them i.e when they said he'll never be able to be schooled and only hacked say oh no, the vet agreed that he could do this, this an this.
 
Oh I hate livery yards! Please try to ignore them and do your own thing. If you have transport and want a hack and moan i am at Junction1 of the M27. I also went to Portsmouth uni!
 
You are all literally far too kind :')

Fairy - I live pretty much next to Fratton train station, 20 mins max. The thing is this place includes all his feed, bedding and hay and is very reasonably priced for him to also be on full livery during the week, which is really what I need, as I haven't got the time to go twice a day.

Wildcard - I was pleased that she said something to begin with, as it meant I knew she cared and knew her stuff (his defect is obvious). However it was the way that it was gone about and escalated. I'm beyond grateful to have people who want to help because hes my first horse and I need help and advice, but there is a time a place and a manner in which to give it I think?

EB1 - How sweet of you! Thankyou :)
 
Its scarey moving yards and you do get stared at when you are new.
Its something new for the locals to stare at, put exictemnt in their day!

Also they are probably trying to make themselves feel clever and important, buy pointing things out to you.

They probably dont mean it in a nasty way as you said yourself when you visited yard they all seemed nice.

Dont think about them. Get on and look after and ride your horse as you always did.
 
I agree, as this is your first horse, then maybe you do need a little help, god knows we all do at times.

If YO thinks you need help with bandages or can offer advice on doing up his girth, them there are ways to say things in a helpful manner. There is no need to make you feel useless :(
 
Oh well; best thing then is to just smile sweetly, say thankyou for your concern/advice/whatever, mentally smack 'em in the gob, and just get on and enjoy your horse :D:D

Hopefully their 'interest' will wear off soon and they will leave you to it! So glad I have my own yard :) and don't have to cope with this myself - I'm might just lose patience!

Still here though if you need a friendly face ;)

Fairy
 
TBH I'd just concentrate on settling your horse and ignor them.
Some people will always have an opinion.
I make sure I'm polite to other liverys, always say hello, ask how they are, and then make it clear that I am too busy to talk and I don't need "help" or "advice." I pretend to listen to my ipod.
I also very quickly sussed who the yard "expert" was and I either smile and say " oh yes, I hadn't thought of that, " then carry on regardless, or tell them that I have a very good instructor, farrier etc and if I need advice, I ask one of them.
hopefully your stepdad popping in will stop some of the comments.
Kx
 
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