Day 2 of new yard and already feel miserable... :(

First thing - calm down your nerves will not help your horse. Being the new guy on the yard of course you will pull an crowd, just human nature, everyone will want to see the 'new beastie' and yes it can feel quite pressurised, as other owners will be quick to judge and assess. (that's livery yards for you !)

It's such early days - try to make light of it, take a cake in at the weekend and put up a sign ' come and share a cake and coffee with me,' It will give you a chance to meet and greet the other liveries and have a natter and settle in a bit.

As for your horse ....well that's just it ....It's your horse. Never make apologies for the way he looks, the way he moves, his quirks etc ....that's what makes your horse ! and you love him for all of it !

(I have worked, ran, owned, and been on many yards for various reasons over a large number of years and in my experiance 80% of the owners have no idea what they are talking about, and so many of them never actually ride their blinking horses as they are too scared to get on and do something and 'invent' invisible ailments, ) so just get on ride and enjoy. Never be bothered what other people say or think,
Remember ' Empty vessels make the most noise!'

Hugs
 
When my land was going to be sold I had to move onto a livery yard and had similar. I'd owned him for 9 yrs at that point and knew what a lovely pony he was to hack, but at this yard for some reason he turned psychotic the first time I wanted to ride out. It was only the next day, but we're talking about a pony who has gone to 'parties' and moved before, acted like a complete pro and basically been an angel, so the psychosis really knocked me. He was dancing outside the stable (normally falls asleep) and acted like an utter nutter on the ride, overtaking our companion at a gallop when we had a canter (12hh overtaking a 16hh cob should be funny, but it wasn't). I was mortified and felt like such an idiot.

I actually felt like that for the entire time I was on that yard (3 months total), so whilst I get what people are saying, if you don't shake the 'idiot' feeling, don't be ashamed to just move on. Sometimes the fit isn't right, no matter what. I bought a Wilkie snaffle bit for Henry, when he'd been fine in a headcollar/bitless bridle before and even had him shod, although it was obvious there was simply too much grass (didn't find out until the next month that they fertilised every bloody year!). Hopefully in your case he will settle down (mine did to an extent), but I didn't settle for other reasons) and they will appreciate that some people have horses with little quirks/conformational issues and love em anyway.

If he doesn't settle (my other pony never did), then let your horse tell you it isn't the right place for him. When I moved back to my land (which happily didn't have to be sold in the end), my old shettie practically hugged me and Henry went back to his calm and dependable self. Funny that!
 
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It doesn't sound very nice at all, and I do sympathise, but are you sure you haven't taken it all a bit too much to heart? I don't mean that nastily at all, but you're moving to uni, leaving home for the first time and you've gone early to settle your horse in so are maybe feeling a bit lonely if the other students aren't around yet. If you're anything like me when I first went to Uni, you're probably as unsettled as your horse is, and while I don't think they've been very nice to you at all, maybe if you were on your own turf under normal circumstances you wouldn't be as worried about it? Everything looks worse when you're a bit emotional.

I'd try to ride it out for a while, and see if things improve once you're both a bit more settled. I wouldn't worry about the woman who held your horse, maybe she just thought it was a good way to break the ice? The stuff in the school does seem a bit patronising, but maybe with the YO's phonecall to you, they've realised they had been a bit mean and are trying to make amends? I'd try to find a livery who seems nice and welcoming and tag onto her for a bit, maybe explain the issue with your horse to her and hope she passes it on to the others?

It seems a big problem at the moment, but there are ways round it. If you do want to move in a few weeks time I'm sure people on here will help you find somewhere else and in the worst case scenario, could you send him home for a bit while you take some time to visit new yards a few times and find one that suits you?

Hope it works out for you.
 
They were probably only trying to help. I had a horse with a serious conformational issue once. We had her vetted to see if we could ride her and the vet said yes. If your horse has been vetted as ok to ride then just tell the people this. If not,then please get a vet out to give the horse a look and then you will have peace of mind that you arnt causing the horse any problems by riding it.
 
annagain - I do have a tendancy to take things to heart, which is why I stressed that I know they were probably only trying to help, but is my second year at uni and I have my flatmates with me so that part of it isnt so much of an issue. I appreciate advice as Im always asking for it, I just think the way in which it was done was slightly unfair given it was near enough my first full day there! I wouldnt want to send him home as hes been backwards and forwards so much and today he was so settled and chilled it certainly proved some people wrong!

Fran - youve hit the nail on the head, the "idiot" feeling. Its to the point where in two days theyve made me nervous to go and tack him up and ride him incase they highlight something else they think is wrong with him/me/us, when I've never seen anyone else up there ride apart from me, despite spending all day every day there?! Odd...

Susie T - said on the last page

And thankyou AGAIN to the rest of you, exactly what I needed :D You all deserve some serious cake/tea/coffee/chocolate/a trip to the beach for a ride with me and my incorrectly tacked, overbandaged, crippled, useless horsey :D
 
In that case sorry I got the wrong end of the stick. I thought you were off there for the first time. I agree the 'advice' did seem a bit mean but maybe (I hope) they're regretting it now and are ready to be nicer to you. Good luck
 
I haven't read all the replies so excuse me if I jsust repeat something.

I have found that people are very quick tpo judge and give negative comments and these are usually people that think they know it all and actually know s*d all.

"A situation I was put in adnd how it went"

I have a sharer for my old boy and this day I let the sharer (I'll call her Jo)have a ride on my other younger horse, now Jo is a novice and she is happy just getting a feel for him.
This other lass (who I will call Deb)came over and looked at Jo in front of me saying "I can give oyu a lesson" Now Deb bless can't ride very well herself. I turned ot Deb adn firmly but politely said, Jo is happy just to wander around getting a feel for my horse and as he is ridden naturally I do not want any reins aids etc taught traditionally.
Debs replied... oh I won't do that I will just tell her which direction to go, (this is from a lass who had someone riding on the long side of the arena on the left rein then on the corner in the top left do a turn to ride down the centre on a diagnol. The poor horse threw his head, swished his tail and struggled to make this sharp acute turn)

So eventually I just smiled and said "Thank you but no thaks...

Then as Jo rode down the arena another couple trued to advise her, at this point I said to Jo. "You can listen to what people say and then thank them but ignore all advice, the only ones you listen to is myself or my partner"

Slight difference but end result the same, just say thank you and take in what you want to take in and ignore the rest.

Don't let others intimidate you or tell you what to do. You know your horse better than anyone, just enjoy him and don't let others upset you.
 
Aw try not to feel like that, like you say it has only been 2 days.

In saying that I am the same, for a good few weeks my horse was a real nightmare to catch, I literally was following her round the field it was so embarrassing to the point where I dreaded and avoided going up.

One day it clicked that I was being ridiculous - I am perfectly capable of getting her in and riding her (even though I have to now bring ALL the other mares in first...) anyway, I am riding every day and am happier than I have been in a long time.

Keep going, spend as much time there as you can/wish to, you will soon settle in xx
 
claudiacox14 said:
After YO, livery and farrier had stood with me telling me he is a good for nothing, I rang step-dad to say what had happened and that maybe he should come down to check him out. I then put him on the phone to YO so she could explain her concerns. After they were on the phone I got the whole hes a dealer line from the YO. To her credit, she did call last night to see if I was ok, but I dont think it was a "I'm sorry we upset you we went about it the wrong way" phonecall, more of a "Oops upset the new livery best check she still wants to stay here". I was most definitely safe (he wouldnt even buck if his life depended on it) and he is most certainly sound!

Today my use of bandages and how I did up the girth was the focus of criticism. If only my uni house came with a stable, a sandschool and an acre of grazing...
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Well if she asks again, or rings, make sure that you tell her you have felt pretty upset and picked on since you've moved on the yard... Let her know its upsetting you and you're not happy. Also have a look around to see if there is another yard that would be better. Hopefully it will get better, but it sounds a bit hard!
 
My horse has a 'lift' in his one hind leg, in walk only. Sort of looks like stringhalt but isn't, he's had it from the day he was born and it's never changed for better or worse. Once he has warmed up it goes and he is a very talented dressage horse (shame about rider lol). People look at me because they think he's got this serious problem and that I shouldn't be riding. I just tell them that he'd been checked by numerous vets and if they watch me a bit longer they will see who's horse is crooked! :) lt doesn't bother me because I know he's totally fine, and I love the look on peoples faces about 10 mins into a flatwork session! Be proud of your horse, cherish him and just make sure everyone on the yard knows the facts so there can't be any gossip. Afterall you have nothing to hide or be ashamed of!
 
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