Dealing with the loss

[Ellietotz]

It's been two days since I lost my best friend and I can't stop crying. The heartache is unbearable, a whole part of me has just been ripped away. I'm a complete wreck without my beautiful boy, I can't stop thinking about the night before when I said goodbye to him. I spoiled him so much. I just want to go back and replay it over and over again. I hurt so much, I can't see how I'm going to get passed this. It's killing me.

 

[skint1]

((hugs))

 

[AmyMay]

I'm so sorry xx

 

[attheponies]

So very, very sorry for your loss. Time is a healer and the pain will ease, try to think of happy times in the past rather than the sadness of saying goodbye. You are not alone, anyone who has lost a loved much horse understands the pain you are going through.

 

[Fools Motto]

Trust me, not a day goes by where I don't think about my mare whom I lost at the end of September. I could cry daily for her. I haven't yet sorted through all her things, keep thinking I've got the courage to do so, but putting it off. BUT, the wonderful memories DO make you smile. Allow time. Many hugs.
Crying isn't a sign of weakness, it is a sign of showing how much love you had for him, and how wonderful is that? x

 

[chillipup]

Ellietotz, the dreadful pain you feel now, will eventually ease but without it, your heart cannot start to heal. Take your time, but don't let your grief overtake you. The love you have for your boy will never leave you, nor his for you but the pain will, I guarantee it.

 

[Sukistokes2]

So very sorry for your loss.

I hope that soon you will be able to remember the good times as well as the end. You will never forget. Each of my horses and my other pets to,have a special place in my heart. You lad will always be with you.

 

[kinnygirl1]

So sorry for your loss and the pain you are in now. He's still with you... He's just moved out of sight but you will always be able to see him in your memories. Xx

 

[Tyssandi]

It's been two days since I lost my best friend and I can't stop crying. The heartache is unbearable, a whole part of me has just been ripped away. I'm a complete wreck without my beautiful boy, I can't stop thinking about the night before when I said goodbye to him. I spoiled him so much. I just want to go back and replay it over and over again. I hurt so much, I can't see how I'm going to get passed this. It's killing me.

Know the feeling so well and been through it 4 times, take some rescue remedy and keep family close to see you through the first few weeks.

I confess when I lost my girl 4 years 3rd Dec 2016 I did feel like ending my life, it was only the thought of her son that kept me going.

sending hugs

my livery lost hers 4 weeks ago its so hard

 

[doodle]

I lost my horse 2 years ago. It affected me so badly that I tried to kill myself and ended up in a psych ward for a while (already issues with my mental health). Sorry for being so blunt but I know that feeling. I then lost my other horse 7 months later. Very difficult time. I still get upset about loosing them but I guess I don't have that raw pain that took over everything. I can now talk about them and how wonderful they were but it still hurts and always will. Feel free to pm me

 

[Ellietotz]

Thank you all for your lovely messages. I just feel like I can't move forward. I have my new mare whom I love so much and yet I'm dreading going there because of the thought of not being able to see his beautiful face and hear his soft whinny. I'm dreading looking at all of his stuff, his headcollars that will never be worn by him again, seeing his fur still on his rugs. I had a dream last night that I was stood in the field with him but I couldn't touch him because it was his spirit. It was horrible. I just can't get round the fact I will never see him again.

 

[pistolpete]

Such a sad time. HUGS! I really feel for you but it is so soon after losing him. Only a few days. Of course you feel like it won't get better. Let all the feelings flow. Cry a river. It will help in a weird way! Lovely that you have your mare already when you feel up to having horsey time again. Tell her how you feel. Horses are fabulous listeners. There will be happy times again. And you have his memory forever.

 

[horsegirl123]

So sorry for your loss. I also had my little guy PTS two days ago and am feeling exactly the same as you, totally devastated and not sure how i will move past this, i've cried nonstop since it happened, but I'm trying to take one day at a time and remembering my merlin as the lovely happy boy he was. big hugs xx

 

[scats]

You will get through it, I promise. I've lost 3, one back in June this year, but the worst for me was losing one very suddenly 5 years ago. I ended up self-harming and on anti-depressants. I felt like my whole world had crumbled away, but I got through it and I promise you will too xxx

 

[vmac66]

So sorry. Give it time, it will get easier. Xx

 

[Sprout]

I am so very sorry for your loss - please believe that the unbearable pain you feel now, will ease given time, and you will be able to treasure your wonderful memories. Huge hugs. Xx

 

[TheOldTrout]

Thank you all for your lovely messages. I just feel like I can't move forward. I have my new mare whom I love so much and yet I'm dreading going there because of the thought of not being able to see his beautiful face and hear his soft whinny. I'm dreading looking at all of his stuff, his headcollars that will never be worn by him again, seeing his fur still on his rugs. I had a dream last night that I was stood in the field with him but I couldn't touch him because it was his spirit. It was horrible. I just can't get round the fact I will never see him again.

Maybe his spirit was trying to comfort you.

 

[Tyssandi]

Thank you all for your lovely messages. I just feel like I can't move forward. I have my new mare whom I love so much and yet I'm dreading going there because of the thought of not being able to see his beautiful face and hear his soft whinny. I'm dreading looking at all of his stuff, his headcollars that will never be worn by him again, seeing his fur still on his rugs. I had a dream last night that I was stood in the field with him but I couldn't touch him because it was his spirit. It was horrible. I just can't get round the fact I will never see him again.

I still have one rug in a bag with my first mares hair and smell, it has been in the bag since 1995 and it wont come out. I too have a new horse and take some comfort in her using my recent mares that I lost rugs, as she was a MIAL horse. I have some of their hair too and even have one of ** D**teeth. I have both tattooed on me and have their heads engraved in silver heart round my neck, and planted a tree each of my losts ones and every year i buy a dog tag with their name and hang on their tree

 

[landyandy]

it will get easier, I cried today for my old mare, and its nearly 4 years since I lost her, I try to think of the good times and the fun times too, it still hurts an awful lot, but it does better, (hugs)

 

[Pearlsasinger]

It does get easier, I can tell you from lots of experience, having lost several horses, some well before their expected lifespan.
It is hard but the way to get through it is to make a conscious decision to do so. I find that having another horse to do helps, you can't ignore that horse, so you just have to get on with it.
Take some comfort from the fact that you made the decision because it was best for him, give yourself a few days and then get out some photos and force yourself to remember the good times. Talk about his exploits with someone who also remembers him fondly.
And treat this bereavement as a rehearsal for later life when you will have to cope with losing family members (hopefully many, many years in the future).
I wouldn't be surprised if you are feeling this loss so strongly because of other things going on in your life ATM but dealing with this will show you how strong you can be.

 

[happyhack26156]

I can only reiterate what others have said. It does get better with time. Having lost four horses over the years I know the heartache and pain that goes with losing your friend. I remember only too well crying myself to sleep. It was unbearable. Gradually the good memories come to the front of the pain you are feeling now.

 

[Ellietotz]

Thank you. I'm so sorry to hear that, it really is horrible and I just wish the pain would stop. We will both get through it xx

 

[Ellietotz]

That's lovely, I love the idea of hanging tags on a tree in memory of them. It makes me feel sick looking at his rugs and things, I can't stop my mind from going back to the last night with him. How hard I hugged him and I couldn't let go. I just want one more day with him.

 

[Peregrine Falcon]

Sending hugs. Saying goodbye can be so hard. You loved him and he loved you. Take comfort from the fact you had him in your life. X

 

[Mule]

I'm so sorry this has happened. Let yourself cry and talk about it. I know it's hard to imagine now but time really does help x