Dear Man Upstairs

LOL thats brilliant!! Keep us posted if you get any sign of a reply.

I think I was possibly a little hasty this morning as we had the big yellow thing in the sky the past 2 afternoons (actually didnt need entire wardrobe contents to go to the field yay) so I put my washing out....and now we have more snow and gales :-(
 
Amen sister.

Gale force wind + random piles of not-yet-defrosted snow, 3ft snowdrifts hiding round corners blocking bridleways, ice in the mornings, bogs in the afternoons and an under-exercised horse as a result of all of the above is making hacking...interesting at the moment :eek:
 
Ah you make me laugh Hovis and Sid's mum! :D
I'll sign your petition (even though I had a bit of sun today.... I'll share! Don't hunt me down! ;))
 
Brilliantly put Mrs HovisandSid. As one who seems to have been wearing my selection of Harvest Festival knickers (all is safely gathered in) for months, I too wish to sign this petition!
 
Cue - BIG FLASH OF LIGHTNING AND CRACK OF THUNDER!

Hello O.P. - I'm sorry that you are rather disappointed with the atmospheric conditions in your tiny,tiny, in fact miniscule area of your planet! I'll have to remind you that much of it is tropical right now and considerably more - temperate - in fact the people who live in some of that area have been complaining:- Jeez mate, it's hotta out 'ere than Satan's crotch! - and believe me - I've made sure that is very hot!

May I remind you lot that I gave the whole of humanity - a free will - and you have been going merrily about in your own way for years - many of you even denying my existence - now you send up little missives like yours! Pah! IS IT MY FAULT THAT YOU CHOSE TO LIVE IN A COLD BIT???

Anyway, it's all those selfrighteous t**ts that have been yakking on about Global Warming that you should be blaming - all that nonsense about carbon dioxide increasing and their friggin' parts per million!! Hahaha ..... well let that be a warming too you all (ANOTHER CRACK OF THUNDER ) it's me that calls the shots round here and you are as dust! Muhhhaaa! I can cause the earth to crack and pour forth sulphur, fire and brimstone till you can't see yer hand in front of yer face ..... and often have..... for millions of years.... yes, yes, I know your book says that I created the place in seven days about 6,000 years ago - but that's all down to some Irish bloke and you know what they say about them? Hahaha ..... I wouldn't rely on one of them for an answer to a Maths question!

All in all I reckon I did a pretty good job of sticking your little planet together - it's a good practical size, not too big or too small - it turns rather nicely giving interesting seasons, has a lovely colour too ( well, from up here anyway.) Your yellow star is quite well placed, it doesn't bathe it's planets in X & Gamma rays that much and won't turn red and swallow you for another 500,000,000 years so think yourselves lucky even if it still snowing where you are.

Right, as you may have noticed if you've bothered to take an interest - the Universe ( and hahaha - just the one you lot can see and appreciate) is 21billion light years across - light travels 300,000 kilometres in a single second so as I have look after it all - I'll leave you to think of just how much organising that takes - there's ONLY ME up here doing it ALL you know.... there are times when I could get quite hacked off with all this omnipotent stuff - there's always so much going on - stars going supernova - galaxies colliding - black holes forming and warping the space/time continum ....... not to mention creating those hairy quadropeds that you seem to like fiddling about with........ count your blessings is what say!
 
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Cue - BIG FLASH OF LIGHTNING AND CRACK OF THUNDER!


All in all I reckon I did a pretty good job of sticking your little planet together - it's a good practical size, not too big or too small - it turns rather nicely giving interesting seasons, has a lovely colour too ( well, from up here anyway.) !

Interesting Seasons!! My ass.

One long bluddy winter more like... I swear I've been good, too good to deserve this!

PS.. Get Staff - you are Godly after all. ;);)
 
Brilliant! :D I whole heartedly agree, im completely fed up of this weather :mad: and i know i need to get some driving lessons but there is no need to remind me by trying to kill me with either a gale force wind that makes biking feel akin to wrestling with a blinking bear! Or snow that i only notice when i get on the lane to the yard, which i then have to ski down :eek::o. I mean i know us horsey people are a little bit crazy and go out in all sorts of conditions 'normal' people wouldn't dare, but there is no need to test this out so thoroughly :mad:. Particularly speaking as someone whos mode of transport only has 2 wheels and no protective iron box surrounding them!

I would also love to not have to wear so many blinking layers, im not a small person by any means and i look like a blooming michelin man at the minute :mad:.

Can it not be amusing to see us bake in the sun and the heat instead? ;)
 
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