Decided to throw in the towel :-(

Black_Horse_White

Black_Horse_White

Well-Known Member
Joined
11 February 2008
Messages
2,229
Location
Staffordshire
Visit site
Well after losing 2 horses close together and buying another that is too much for me I've decided enoughs enough. My horse of 2 months is going back today as he's turned out not to be what I want. He's not going to hack out alone which is really what I wanted to do. He's just too nervous and as I cannot avoid a busy road where ever I hack he has to go. It's just too dangerous for him and me. So it's the end of an era for me and I'm very sad, but I've really had enough heartache for now.
 
Well, I'm sad for you & send a hug. You know in your heart what is best for you & I hope that life turns out well. If you still wanted to keep a horsey connection you could get something classy to show in hand, just a thought.
 
Big heartbreaking decision.... Perhaps after a small break to gather yourself you will come back to it. The horse bug never leaves a rider I think. Big hugs....
 
Give yourself time it does heal dust yourself of and start again. I always said my cob was my one and only another three horses later cant you just ride for someone im sure their plenty of people who needs their horses ridden me being one of them.
 
What a rotten time you've had, I can sympathise with how you're feeling. Sometimes having horses is simply not fun. Having a healthy, go anywhere, do anything horse is a complete joy, but having a prolonged run of bad luck really takes it out of you.
It doesn't have to be a forever decision, but whatever you choose, good luck.
 
sorry to hear that. perhpas if you take some time out and then you might come back to it some time in the future. As someone else said, you could have a lot of fun with something small to show in hand or drive maybe?

Ask around your area and someone may have a horse that needs a hack out once or twice a week, and that will keep your hand in.

Good luck.
 
I think once you've had a bit of non horsey time for a while you'll miss is and want to get back in to it... Getting in to horses at a late age (26) has completly changed my life from what it used to be but couldn't imagine life without it and can't really remember what it was like before.
 
Please dont give up.

One of my friends lost two horses close together, she lost one foal 7 years ago killed in relation to car accident then the mother around 2 years ago to a kick in sept and one month later she lost the second foal to colic


So out of the family she lost mother and the two foals from the mum, she only has the 3rd foal left now. It is heartbreaking, im in an awful situation now.

Take a break build up your strengths from loosing 2 of your family . The right horse is out there follow H&H members someone might know of a happy hacker , its a buyers market.

If you leave now it will be such a shame when you have so much love to give another don't rush time heals wounds remember .:)
 
I just so attached to the horse I have now. He is such a sweetie. But he's not suitable, heartbreaking as it is he has to go back. I'm in the best position I've ever been in for giving the right horse a forever home. But with this horse I've completely lost my nerve. He's fine in company of more than 2 horses but less he's so nervous trying to take off all the time. Don't want to risk other road users either.
 
Take some time out to let yourself recover and then maybe see if there is something you can share? I have several friends who do this and love it. You may find it easier as you can share the responsibility aswell as the ups and downs... I've been there, lost a beautiful 4 year old and then had a horse that was so unsuitable, I plugged on for a year and a half, ended up in hospital and then sold him and had a break for 6 months. I then shared for three months before finding the horse of my dreams!
I hope it all works out for you x
 
Black_Horse_White said:
Well after losing 2 horses close together and buying another that is too much for me I've decided enoughs enough. My horse of 2 months is going back today as he's turned out not to be what I want. He's not going to hack out alone which is really what I wanted to do. He's just too nervous and as I cannot avoid a busy road where ever I hack he has to go. It's just too dangerous for him and me. So it's the end of an era for me and I'm very sad, but I've really had enough heartache for now.
Click to expand...

Hi there I am quite new to H&H forum. I too lost my two girls a month apart both put to sleep on my knee, I still hurt from loosing them. It took me 10 months to buy another special person a youngster who was 7 months old we have grown together and have a special bond we have had lots of fun showing in hand at local and county level, I have now backed her and she is a treasure. Do not beat yourself up maybe this person is not for you give yourself some time trust me if it is in your blood the right person will come along and you will know, Take care x
 
I'm sorry to hear that your new horse hasn't worked out, I can well understand how you must be feeling after losing 2 horses close together, horses can be emotionally draining when things go wrong.

I'd also say give yourself time to recover and don't rule out never having the right horse, there are some genuine bombproof types out there and I'm sure that if you decided to return to horses you would be able to find one. Loaning might be another option worth considering down the line. Horses can give us much pleasure too and it would be a shame to miss out on the good side because of previous bad experiences.

I wish you well whatever you decide.
 
Oh you poor thing. I really feel for you:( I think you are doing the right thing with your current horse but I do hope that you are able to get over the sad times you have gone through and feel able to get yourself another horse in the future x
 
Just to add that there is a 7yo black cob mare 14.2 advertised in the classifieds section described as bombproof, happy to hack alone and 110% in traffic and suitable for novice riders. ;) Something like that would help get your confidence back I'm sure.
 
Just remember it isnt your fault.
Take a break and wait and see, fate tends to play a hand and the right one may be lurking closer than you think.
Good luck
 
I've made the call, the dealer I brought him off is taking him back today. I know I will miss horses terribly but not the stress of it all. I just wish things had been different. Thank you all for your kind replies xx
 
Black_Horse_White I was in your situation seven months ago, I had a TB on LWVTB after having my girly put down he was a nice lad very loving etc but he frightened the c*** out of me when I rode him! I actually felt physically sick every time I sat on him! After being bucked off twice, and spending £100s on getting his back looked at, saddle checked etc I decided to send him back to his owner in hindsight the minute he went it was like the world had been lifted off my shoulder and three months later I bought my new lad, who is just scrummy! I would have a rest and see how you feel but there are lots of good ponies out there!
 
You know the best thing to.

Maybe take a break, have a few lessons and nice hacks at an equestrian centre that will have fabulous safe horses
Them maybe look for another of your own in the spring.
 
Keep an eye out for someone needing a sharer, to my mind other people never have as many problems as one has oneself, in spite of not taking any precautions, I now realise a lot of this is due to the fact that they don't notice horse is lame, has mites, is losing weight, gaining weight, or whatever, and in most cases it clears up in due time anyway.
 
Black_Horse_White said:
I just so attached to the horse I have now. He is such a sweetie. But he's not suitable, heartbreaking as it is he has to go back. I'm in the best position I've ever been in for giving the right horse a forever home. But with this horse I've completely lost my nerve. He's fine in company of more than 2 horses but less he's so nervous trying to take off all the time. Don't want to risk other road users either.
Click to expand...


I know how you feel

I am BHS qualified been in horses over 40 years ridden buckers rearers you name it .

My palo bronc me off in 2007 i had only just sat on his back from mounting block and he was off. I stayed on 5 then i landed on fence post broke ribs fell backwards onto jump poles. all alone no one around i eventually struggled back to the house. Osteo said I should not have survived that fall.

I lost my nerve with HIM not the others wouldnt go near him stroke him wouldnt even contemplate riding him for months .

seeing his mum has lami as most are aware of, I had to take him on a 12 mile sponsored rides, never having jumped him over 2.ft 6 and max 3 jumps at a time ( he was trained western not jumping) never done much jumping, he took me over 50 jumps on a s p R he was amazing. One jump particularly worried me all through my vacation i was worried , now when we went to do the ride it i made myself do it from then on it was amazing I got by trust back in him tho that niggle is still there when i first get on. An this year I am in the same boat he has to do all the rides his mum normally does as she is box rest. I will pick and choose what I jump My will power made me recover from the incident .

What I am saying is as others say take a break have a few lessons on riding school horses, get your confidence back . Then when YOUR ready you can hopefully start again.

Its important now to have time out if thats what you need. There are so many bomb proof horses out there , you just need to take someone round with you , ie instructor, to ride and vet them before you ride them .
So many lose their confidence one lady next door got thrown onto the road after dogs scared her horse . She is now back to riding him ( 1 year later )
but will ONLY just walk horse to scare to trot , but she will get there in the end at her speed, thats whats important to go at your speed not what others say you must do this or do that come on try a trot etc . Hope you get confidence back again:)
 
Last edited:
Thanks Burton-on-Trent is too far for me. I've just spoken to my farrier to cancel my appointment for Tuesday and he has offered me a mare on loan. She's 14 yrs old and very quite, she was used in a collage for a while but has just been sitting in a field for a couple of years. He said I can go over and try her, If I like her and she is ok I can loan her for as little or as long as I want. So maybe I'll give it a try. Thank you all so very much for your words of encouragement, you are all lovely. Leviathan I've followed your threads and I really hope your girl
makes a full recovery, if anyone deserves it it's you two, you've never given up and for that I admire you.
 
Last edited:
((((((hugs)))))) I hope you decide what the best action for you. After a break, you may realise you can't be without but at least you'd know!
 
Black_Horse_White said:
Thanks Burton-on-Trent is too far for me. I've just spoken to my farrier to cancel my appointment for Tuesday and he has offered me a mare on loan. She's 14 yrs old and very quite, she was used in a collage for a while but has just been sitting in a field for a couple of years. He said I can go over and try her, If I like her and she is ok I can loan her for as little or as long as I want. So maybe I'll give it a try. Thank you all so very much for your words of encouragement, you are all lovely. Leviathan I've followed your threads and I really hope your girl horse makes a full recovery, if anyone deserves it it's you two, you've never given up and for that I admire you.
Click to expand...


now thats more positive and proves you're not quite ready to hang up your riding boots yet;) You've been to hell and back losing 2 so close together and i'd imagine that the new horse not being quite what you wanted has been the straw that broke the camels back!
Go and look at the mare, fate has a funny way of dropping things in our lap that we weren't actually looking for;), she could turn out to be just right for you and put some enjoyment back into horses for you:)
 
Black_Horse_White, I'm so sorry to read your problems. My thoughts are with you, and like a lot of the posters here have gone down a similar path.
There has been good advice posted here and of course it is up to you which path to go down. Either have a break, and in a few months you will be itching to come back, especially as the lighter nights will soon be with us, or try and find a schoolmaster on a part loan basis, or even maybe a friend has one that they will just let you hack out on every now and again.
Not seen here, but a lot of ppl advise that you try and take up a new interest whilst you have a break. I know when I had to had a forced break from horses, it drove me insane, as I've been involved with horses since I could walk and when I try a new interest it holds my attention for a short period and then I lose interest. Horses are in my blood I guess till I die.
I shall be thinking of you and hope that in time you find the perfect companion. These things are awful when they happen, but I think you are so brave admitting it, which in turn will help I'm sure. Big hugs in the meantime (( ))
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Top