Decision made - horse being pts

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wills_91

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Hi all - it's been a while since I have posted but in need of some support. I have had to make the decision to have my beautiful 11 year old horse pts. She has been retired for 3 years due to lameness issues and over the past 2 weeks she has really gone downhill, this year she has spent more time lame/drugged up than sound and pain free and with winter just around the corner I just don't know how she would cope. I've talked it through with my vet and close friends who are all fully supportive and agree that this is the right thing to do for her. What I'm really struggling with is if it's the right thing to do why is it so bloody hard? I always knew this day would come around a lot sooner than I would like, that she would no doubt still be young but I also thought that when the time did come I would quickly be at peace with the situation & I'm not. I'm going up twice a day to care for her and ending up distraught every time knowing what is coming for her. I suppose pregnancy hormones are not helping. Please someone assure me this will get easier and once it's done I will feel more at ease about the decision made?
 
Just because it is the right decision doesn't mean it is easy to make. In my experience, I hate the run up and just feel quite distraught but once they have been PTS, I often feel relief that they went peacefully. I do still feel sad afterwards and grieve but I don't have that feeling of 'inpending doom' anymore if you know what I mean.

Take care of yourself too and make sure you have done things like cut some tail hair if you want to for a keepsake. Also, I personally would let any horses she is close to see her afterwards to help them. Eat lots of nice things and indulge yourself a bit. Lots of hugs.
 
It's b****** hard because we love them and they are a massive part of our lives. They're part of the family.

Plus at this time of the year when the weather is warm it's easy to forget about how hard winter is.

One of my horse vet friends says the option to PTS a struggling animal is a privilege because you take away it's pain. Never easy tho xxx
 
The days leading up to the pts are awful. I cried non stop before my horse was pts. We love them and they are a part of us. After he had gone I was very calm and had a sense of relief that it was done. Sometimes the best decisions are the hardest to make.
 
I had the deed done the same day as I decided. I couldn’t have stood the waiting and it felt like putting off the inevitable. I absolutely promise you it gets better once it’s done. Of course you will grieve, but there’s the thought that the worst has happened and you got through it.
 
Thank you. I've Been never been in this situation before as the past twice it has happened on the day and quick (colic). Unfortunately due to my rural location and being unable to bury her I need to arrange all the horrible bits before hand. Absolutely devastated. I promised 3 years ago so long as she was pain free in the field she would have a home with me and she's had this for 3 years now more than some would have given her & I can't see her struggle anymore.
 
So sorry you have had to make such a hard decision. I think it is even harder when they are young. I had to make the decision to have my dog PTS at only 4 earlier this year, she had liver failure. I booked with the vet 3 times and cancelled before I had the courage to do it. But honestly the relief I felt when it was done and I knew I had done the right thing immediately.
We have to make these hard decisions because we love them and have to do the right thing by them.
 
As above, grief at a loss is the price we pay for the love we feel. Huge decision OP, the hardest and the bravest and the kindest. Sending very many virtual hugs x
 
What a brave, kind, good owner you are! You are doing the right thing at the right time, and it will be hard. You have put your horse first. Grieve in whatever way is right for you and cry when you need to. It will get easier just don't let anyone tell you there's a time limit. There isnt. You will find your own way through. I am SO sorry.
 
Just had to do this for my five year old. It's beyond hard and hurts like hell. It's the real ght decision though and you have to hold onto that, know that you're putting your own wishes, no matter how fruitless, aside and doing what's fair for your horse.
 
Its the hardest thing to do and yet the kindest, all at the same time. I think its the most difficult when it is lameness issues and they are ok in themselves, completely different to when they are old and sick. I wish you all the courage you need and take comfort knowing you are doing the right thing x
 
Hugs to you for making a very hard decision, we were in your shoes with our older girl three weeks ago. But the right one, and honestly it does become easier once its over and you will find a place of calm relief, despite the sadness.If you are unable to bury your horse at home, ask you vet to make all the arrangements - ours did this for a friend meaning the only thing she had to do was book the vet appointment. Everything else was taken care of. You know you have done the best you can, and this is the final kindness you can give her. Be kind to yourself.
 
wills_91 said:
Hi all - it's been a while since I have posted but in need of some support. I have had to make the decision to have my beautiful 11 year old horse pts. She has been retired for 3 years due to lameness issues and over the past 2 weeks she has really gone downhill, this year she has spent more time lame/drugged up than sound and pain free and with winter just around the corner I just don't know how she would cope. I've talked it through with my vet and close friends who are all fully supportive and agree that this is the right thing to do for her. What I'm really struggling with is if it's the right thing to do why is it so bloody hard? I always knew this day would come around a lot sooner than I would like, that she would no doubt still be young but I also thought that when the time did come I would quickly be at peace with the situation & I'm not. I'm going up twice a day to care for her and ending up distraught every time knowing what is coming for her. I suppose pregnancy hormones are not helping. Please someone assure me this will get easier and once it's done I will feel more at ease about the decision made?
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Going through this myself right now, so complete and utter sympathy with you OP. Our vet xrayed our little welshies feet today as she’s been struggling with laminitis due to cushings, and now EMS and it was the worst news. Timing is terrible as it’s my daughters birthday on Monday so I’ve opted to keep her going until Tuesday in high dose of pain relief so that she can spend her last few days out in the sun (hopefully🤞) even though I’ve made the decision and booked the date, I’m crying almost constantly at the thought of Tuesday coming round. Stay strong OP and rest assured you’re doing the right thing. After going through this process more times in the 40+ years I’ve had horses than I would like, all I can tell you is, it doesn’t get any easier, but once it’s all over, you will feel relief and peace knowing you did it out of love and respect for your loyal friend. Take care😉
 
wills_91 said:
Hi all - it's been a while since I have posted but in need of some support. I have had to make the decision to have my beautiful 11 year old horse pts. She has been retired for 3 years due to lameness issues and over the past 2 weeks she has really gone downhill, this year she has spent more time lame/drugged up than sound and pain free and with winter just around the corner I just don't know how she would cope. I've talked it through with my vet and close friends who are all fully supportive and agree that this is the right thing to do for her. What I'm really struggling with is if it's the right thing to do why is it so bloody hard? I always knew this day would come around a lot sooner than I would like, that she would no doubt still be young but I also thought that when the time did come I would quickly be at peace with the situation & I'm not. I'm going up twice a day to care for her and ending up distraught every time knowing what is coming for her. I suppose pregnancy hormones are not helping. Please someone assure me this will get easier and once it's done I will feel more at ease about the decision made?
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Remember that horses have no concept of tomorrow, they live in the moment, I think they are lucky. You are doing the right thing and yes it is very hard but you will be relieved once it's over - the best thing you can do for her is to spoil her, love her and make her last day her best, she will soon be pain free. You have made a brave and selfless decision. xx
 
Thank you all. I have had the vet on the phone - she has very kindly made all arrangements and Monday is the day. Just trying to pull myself together before school comes out and my kids are home x
 
chocolategirl said:
Going through this myself right now, so complete and utter sympathy with you OP. Our vet xrayed our little welshies feet today as she’s been struggling with laminitis due to cushings, and now EMS and it was the worst news. Timing is terrible as it’s my daughters birthday on Monday so I’ve opted to keep her going until Tuesday in high dose of pain relief so that she can spend her last few days out in the sun (hopefully🤞) even though I’ve made the decision and booked the date, I’m crying almost constantly at the thought of Tuesday coming round. Stay strong OP and rest assured you’re doing the right thing. After going through this process more times in the 40+ years I’ve had horses than I would like, all I can tell you is, it doesn’t get any easier, but once it’s all over, you will feel relief and peace knowing you did it out of love and respect for your loyal friend. Take care😉
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So sorry you are also facing this. I will be thinking of you both x
 
So sorry. Knowing it's the right thing to do in theory and actually doing it in practice are very different things. But it is a brave, decision made with love.
 
Sad to hear this. It is the hardest decision, especially when they are young. It feels very wrong somehow, but it isn't when they are suffering or have no possibility of anything but decline. I pts my big lad, aged 7, in August having owned him since a foal. It was a much harder decision than the others I've had as they were much older. However if it's any consolation on the day it was actually the least stressful of all of them. Admittedly a big part of that was down to the vet who has known us both a long time - he also arranged the collection and sorted it all afterwards which was very kind. But the big man went so peacefully and I felt very grateful that it was such a strangely positive experience. You are doing the best possible thing for her and I hope you can have the comfort of knowing she'll be at peace.
 
Absolutely the right decision - but having just done it myself, that does not make it any easier on you.

Don't expect to feel better the next day, do expect to still have doubts (I wake up on sunny days and wonder if this was a sunny day he missed) - but keep reminding yourself of the bravery you are showing by doing the kindest thing possible.

This is the last great kindest you can show your faithful friend.
 
A very hard but brave and kind decision to make, I had to do the same at this time of year with my ex racer he was 13. I couldn't see him struggle through a winter so he went with the sun on his back & love in his heart. xx
 
Please accept my very sincere condolences. As somebody who lost their wonderful young horse very recently I can empathise with your grief. I have bad days and tolerable days but I am coming to terms with my loss. It will get better, honest. X
 
Thank you all. She's away early this morning, it was very peaceful in the end. She was eating her breakfast surrounded by love and then away. Absolutely devastated but overwhelming sense of relief at the same time that she will no longer be in pain.
 
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