Decisions - What should I do/say?

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OzzyBuffy

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Following on from my previous threads...

I had some good news, owner decided she would allow xrays for my boy who as a youngster had 2 nasty breaks of his carpal bone.
He is on full loan and I had with owner made decision to send him back because in her words she wanted to ''wrap him up in cotton wool and safeguard him'' which is TOTALLY understandable.

When she said about xrays I thought we had made a step forward and that I probably would end up being able to keep him, however as the conversation has gone on through out the day, I have come to the conclusion that she is most definately not going to stop worrying (again understandably) and she is definately not happy and won't be happy even after an xray about the high level of things I want to do with him, such as jumping, cross country, endurance hacking.

I really really don't want to feel like I have to ask and watch my every move with him, and I know she wants him back eventually now knowing his history, and I know it's best that he just goes back to her, and we end the loan now, rather than me continue to get more attatched, go through x-rays and everything else possibly to hear the news we are dreading (that their is still evidence of a break that could progress to something worse).

The point I am getting at is I want to send him back, I don't want to but I know it's the right thing and the easiest thing, however I don't think she is now going to see it like that. Yesterday I was offered a green 4 year old that needed bringing on, and at the time I was under the conclusion that my loan horse was going back, so it was definately worth looking into.

After a long lengthy conversation with the 4 year olds owner, he is exactly what I wanted, he does have sarcoids which has responded very well to treament, but other than that hes 100% and ready to go, and there is an option to buy later on in the loan...1-2 years.

I do NOT want to ''ditch'' one for the other, sorry if thats the impression. I am trying to find the best solution for myself & the horse involved.
I do not want to pass up the opportunity of the 4 year old as hes exactly what I am looking for, however I don't want loan horses owner to think I am just sending him back because I have found something, younger, better and healthy.

What should I say? I have said I need time to think because as already stated I don't want to keep the loan going worrying all the time about the jumping, and cross country etc.

I just don't want to hold onto something and not enjoy the things I want to do because of it. He is better off with his owner, as she adores him, it's not like he'll be going back to a bad home.

Rather than accuse me of anything, please ask, because I struggle wording things on here, and things often sound completely opposite to what I mean, I also ramble alot so nothing makes sense!!!

A massive galaxy bar for anyone who even got half way through that!
 
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From what I understood, the owner would be happier with the horse at a hacking only home, whereas you want to jump and do more, so the horse would be better going back. Just be sure to give a decent length of notice - not jus expect her to come and collect it this weekend so that you can take on the new one. I don't know that a green 4yr old that needs bringing on will give you what you need if you want to do lots of jumping. You won't be able to do much for a while.
 
I think you know what the best option is already.
If the loan horse has the option of going back to a loving home where he will be looked after, its not as thought you dont know where he's going to - what would he be doing with his owner? (as regards happy hacker, field ornament etc)

You've seen something that's ideal for you and if you are very tempted, I think it's probably the best option for you - if you decide to go for it I'd be upfront with the owner of the other. Just say you've decided that it would be best if the loan could go back to her where she could keep an eye on him and be happy he is doing okay, but you'd like to stay in touch and see how he's getting on, as you have got that bond there and will miss him? Also be honest and tell her you've been offered something else out of the blue and its an opportunity you'd like to take.

She will probably be relieved she can keep an eye on her boy again and as you said "safeguard him" as much as she wants!
That's what I would do :)
K x
 
KellysHeroes said:
I think you know what the best option is already.
If the loan horse has the option of going back to a loving home where he will be looked after, its not as thought you dont know where he's going to - what would he be doing with his owner? (as regards happy hacker, field ornament etc)

You've seen something that's ideal for you and if you are very tempted, I think it's probably the best option for you - if you decide to go for it I'd be upfront with the owner of the other. Just say you've decided that it would be best if the loan could go back to her where she could keep an eye on him and be happy he is doing okay, but you'd like to stay in touch and see how he's getting on, as you have got that bond there and will miss him? Also be honest and tell her you've been offered something else out of the blue and its an opportunity you'd like to take.

She will probably be relieved she can keep an eye on her boy again and as you said "safeguard him" as much as she wants!
That's what I would do :)
K x
Click to expand...

thank you, thats really helped :)


With regards to notice, she actually asked me at one point if I wanted to, and I have said I will hold him for as long as it takes her to find somewhere, I have no quarms in that. She wants to lightly hack him once or twice a week to keep his mind active, but she has never been a jumper and wouldnt be doing anything more than hacking.

With regards to the 4 year old, I know I can't do much jumping etc, and it will take a while but at 4 years old, at least I would have a long time to work on it, not worrying about health issues, I am not in a rush to do said disciplines, but to know that one day I can do them and can work towards them is a step forward.

I really do adore my current loan horse but I think in my mind I know it's best he goes back now. He will have a fantastic home, she still lightly exercises her other thoroughbred who I believe is 30 something, and hes looking amazing.

The 4 year old really is a miracle, I didn't think I'd find something that so closely fits what I have always wanted, and what I would be looking for when and if loan horse went back home. I just think in the long run he is going to go back anyway, she loves him and now she knows his history, I am 90% sure shes not willing to part with him as she would worry I would sell him if I bought him and he would end up somewhere bad (I would never do that but I would think the same if he were mine!)
 
It seems that neither you or the owner are happy with the current agreement- and to be honest he is not your horse so should not be causing you so much fret. Whether she thinks you have purposely sourced the other horse or not it is genuine circumstance and she cannot hold that against you. If i were you i would not really want to take on a loan horse with ongoing problems and an uncertain future when the owner could ask for him back at any time. i would certainly ask her to take him back and go for the four year old but just be tactful :) :) :)
 
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