Defining when a horse is wrong for you, and if it can change?

[Rev]

I'm curious, and I'm wondering whether the world of H&H has any thoughts on the subject.

Obviously horses change, particularly younger ones with training and effective handling. You can school them on, whizz them up, calm them down, improve brakes and responsiveness, improve ground manners, you get the picture. However what about those things you can't change? The underlying personality, or pre-disposed behaviours that they will always default to? Lets say you want a horse to go out and do everything with, but they are only really happy plodding about in company. Or how about you want a happy, safe hacker, and they're a little too wired to relax down into it? Where do you draw the line of "we can work on this"?

Perhaps I'm looking at it a little too "on paper", as I've had a number of horses over the past few years (for various reasons), but I'm struggling a little with my current boy. His personality is perfect, but I find him frustrating to ride. I've had him for around the 12 month mark, and although he has improved in some respects, he's really struggling to meet me halfway (and almost going backwards) on others. I could see him in an RDA setting to be honest, and I could see him being happy doing that. I'm pushing him to do things he really quite obviously doesn't want to, and it doesn't appear to be out of stubbornness as more mentally uncomfortable doing them. We've worked on the same small goals for the past year (slowly and with lots of encouragement - things like leading out hacking, nothing taxing and no negativity involved whatsoever) and we still haven't gotten very far, he's now beginning to react badly to them.

Does anybody have any experiences? Have you ever decided a horse is "wrong" for you?

 

[Spot_the_Risk]

Oh yes, I decided our home bred mare wasn't the horse for me, despite having bred her to be my next forever horse, being there when she was born... She bonded with me before her maiden dam, years later we backed her and rode her on, and she never did anything wrong. Despite all that I never trusted her, and she wasn't the right horse for me. It's been just over three years since she left us, I do wish I knew how she was doing but I've never once missed her.

 

[Rev]

Thank you, STR. Out of curiosity, was there a defining reason why? Or was it just a gut feeling?

 

[Asha]

I've just sold a horse for this very reason. I bought her as a yearling, to give my homebred company of his own age. She is stunning, well bred and just an absolute gem to have around. I've invested a small fortune to get her schooled by pros, to get her to a place where I can ride her. She is perfect for a competent novice ( me) in every way, except jumping. She's bred to jump, and loves it, but jumps far too big for me. I've tried just fling dressage, but the reality is I want to do a bit of jumping. The decision was made when I took my old mare out around farm ride,did the water and a couple of logs. Just felt comfortable. I knew at that moment, I'd never feel like that with her. She needed a young BSJA rider to go out and have a blast. That's where she's gone. Perfect home with a wonderful family that I know, as she's very local I know I will see her regularly. Cried for days when she went, hubby said to get her back ( was on a trial, so was possible ). But I wouldn't, as I know it's right for everyone.
It's a tough call to make, particularly when they haven't done anything really wrong. Good luck with your decision, but it does sounds like you are ready to move on .

 

[Rev]

Cried for days when she went, hubby said to get her back ( was on a trial, so was possible ). But I wouldn't, as I know it's right for everyone.
It's a tough call to make, particularly when they haven't done anything really wrong. Good luck with your decision, but it does sounds like you are ready to move on .

Thank you, Asha. Did you feel better for it afterwards?

I love him to pieces. He's a wonderful animal, and I know that a year is not a long time to have a horse. He is the sort that you can stand next to a jump wing with the reins on his neck, and use him to stop the awkward ones from running out. He'll stand stock still and doze off while the others are cantering around him. He's a superstar with the sweetest personality, and I'm starting to kick myself for getting frustrated with him.

 

[be positive]

Thank you, Asha. Did you feel better for it afterwards?

I love him to pieces. He's a wonderful animal, and I know that a year is not a long time to have a horse. He is the sort that you can stand next to a jump wing with the reins on his neck, and use him to stop the awkward ones from running out. He'll stand stock still and doze off while the others are cantering around him. He's a superstar with the sweetest personality, and I'm starting to kick myself for getting frustrated with him.

I think a year is plenty of time to get to know the horse, if they are not changing and the temperament is natural or the behaviour is deeply ingrained then you are unlikely to make significant changes to the way they are, it sounds as if he is not very forward thinking or possibly lacks confidence, if he does not like leading a hack, is a totally sensible safe character who someone would appreciate for the things that are now frustrating you.
There is a risk with this type of horse that you start to bully them out of frustration and they become even more switched off, it sounds to me as if you are ready to move on and he has little intention of joining you, he should be very easy to sell if he will carry someone less ambitious looking for the laidback chap he seems to be.

One of my liveries was thinking of selling her pony he was a bit nappy hacking alone and that is his main job, so we went through his good and bad points, the good list was far longer than the bad, so we tackled the napping and I helped her find some extra tools to use to deal with him when he did plant and refuse to move, she can now enjoy her hacking, he still tries it on but she can ride through it and has stopped being so frustrated as she has the tools to deal with it, it may be a good idea for you to do a list, if the bad is outweighing the good then move him on, if the other way round maybe try a new approach to riding him for a while.

 

[FfionWinnie]

The moment you don't really fancy riding them, I would say. I had a succession of not suitable ones, really, and now, I've got a supercob and honestly I always want to ride, I can take her to a show and she will potter about on a lose rein until its time to have our turn then she's rocket propelled. Could not be happier with her, and I won't accept less than than in the future!

 

[Rev]

There is a risk with this type of horse that you start to bully them out of frustration and they become even more switched off, it sounds to me as if you are ready to move on and he has little intention of joining you, he should be very easy to sell if he will carry someone less ambitious looking for the laidback chap he seems to be.

One of my liveries was thinking of selling her pony he was a bit nappy hacking alone and that is his main job, so we went through his good and bad points, the good list was far longer than the bad, so we tackled the napping and I helped her find some extra tools to use to deal with him when he did plant and refuse to move, she can now enjoy her hacking, he still tries it on but she can ride through it and has stopped being so frustrated as she has the tools to deal with it, it may be a good idea for you to do a list, if the bad is outweighing the good then move him on, if the other way round maybe try a new approach to riding him for a while.

Yes... I see your point. He is happy as anything following another horse, at any pace. He is always laid back and on the ploddy side. If we pick a fight with him/attempt to bully him into something, he deals with it up to a point. Once you pass that point he starts to work himself up, and the past few weeks we've had real panic-y trantrums, which take a long time for him to recover from. I've not seen it up until recently, it makes me wonder whether maybe we've pressed issues that he just can't deal with to that extent. He's also struggling when going to "exciting" venues.

Napping and planting were big problems when I bought him. We've worked him through that and the behaviour has disappeared (though a degree of reluctance is still there, particularly in front). The list is a good idea... I'll put one together and assess. He's far too big for me in reality, too.

The moment you don't really fancy riding them, I would say. I had a succession of not suitable ones, really, and now, I've got a supercob and honestly I always want to ride, I can take her to a show and she will potter about on a lose rein until its time to have our turn then she's rocket propelled. Could not be happier with her, and I won't accept less than than in the future!

That's fab, FW. I'm glad you've finally found your match. Can I be cheeky and ask how many you had prior to her? Did you sell them on? My first two, I rode all the time. Your post rings true... I've had horses before that I couldn't wait to get in and get on. That's not really the case at the minute - he feels like very hard work.

 

[Dizzle]

Yes! I've owned two horses in my life.

The first was an ex-racer that I bought after having him on loan for 6 months, it basically was a personality clash, he needed confidence from his rider and I needed it from my horse, I think if we'd have stayed at our first yard with lots of safe hacking I'd probably still have him but we didn't and we ended up on a yard where the hacking was a bit more suburban to get to the good stuff and I didn't trust him, in the really rural yard we could do hours off road on our own. He was also sensitive to handle and to be honest scared me, so he bossed me about. A lot. I ended up gifting him to a racehorse rehoming charity where he is up for loan as a happy hack. He also had a very strange relationship with jumping, when he was good he could clear 1m10 and would lock on and leap anything, when he didn't he wouldn't step over a pole for love nor money, there was no logic to it or physical cause. I love jumping.

I then bought myself a 13.2hh New Forest pony, we have had our ups and downs BUT with her when I put the work in my confidence came back, she's not perfect but we have ambled our way around hunter trials, hunting, fun rides and solo hacking. She's a pleasure to handle and a saint on the ground, I know that if we hit an issue out hacking I can get off and she'll chill out and get back on afterwards.

So yes, confidence can come back, but there are some relationships that are never going to work, I'm a flighty TB personality that works with a nappy pony but clashes with a flighty tb!

Current one isn't always perfect but she's not far off it!

 

[WelshD]

I had a pony that was very nervous, I was just not the right match for him, I like a cocky confident pony

i rehomed him and the relief was immense, he is doing just fine now

 

[Asha]

Thank you, Asha. Did you feel better for it afterwards?

I love him to pieces. He's a wonderful animal, and I know that a year is not a long time to have a horse. He is the sort that you can stand next to a jump wing with the reins on his neck, and use him to stop the awkward ones from running out. He'll stand stock still and doze off while the others are cantering around him. He's a superstar with the sweetest personality, and I'm starting to kick myself for getting frustrated with him.

He sounds like my kind of horse !

I only sold her last week but I know it's the right thing for both us. So yes, I do feel better about it all.

I miss her terribly, but i had the pleasure of owning her for 4 1/2 years. It's time someone else enjoyed her. She is definitely better off with a rider who can do her justice. I can't .

Don't feel bad about it, look for the positives, you've got a very sellable horse, who no doubt will be cherished for what he is.

 

[muckypony]

What is it that you want him to do and what does he do instead of what you want?

 

[FfionWinnie]

Yes... I see your point. He is happy as anything following another horse, at any pace. He is always laid back and on the ploddy side. If we pick a fight with him/attempt to bully him into something, he deals with it up to a point. Once you pass that point he starts to work himself up, and the past few weeks we've had real panic-y trantrums, which take a long time for him to recover from. I've not seen it up until recently, it makes me wonder whether maybe we've pressed issues that he just can't deal with to that extent. He's also struggling when going to "exciting" venues.

Napping and planting were big problems when I bought him. We've worked him through that and the behaviour has disappeared (though a degree of reluctance is still there, particularly in front). The list is a good idea... I'll put one together and assess. He's far too big for me in reality, too.



That's fab, FW. I'm glad you've finally found your match. Can I be cheeky and ask how many you had prior to her? Did you sell them on? My first two, I rode all the time. Your post rings true... I've had horses before that I couldn't wait to get in and get on. That's not really the case at the minute - he feels like very hard work.

Its a bit complicated but I had my "got in my early 20s" TB x who was not what I wanted and really, she put me off for ten years (she went out on loan then came back, then went back on loan and then sold to the loaner). I then bought a little welsh to ride occasionally/bring on for my daughter. The welsh made me realise it was the wrong horse, not actually losing interest. I wanted to ride her all the time, but she's a little small! So, I then bought a bigger American Paint horse. She wasn't suitable and was also I felt too small as it turned out as well. I had her for a couple of years then I saw a big version of my little welsh. Perfect. Bought her, advertised the paint. Had 6 months of idyllic riding (she wasn't actually perfect but she was what I wanted and I always felt safe on her if that makes sense, she was a silly welsh D at times tho!). Just when things were coming together with her, she died, literally in 24 hours, of grass sickness. At that point it felt like my world had ended. I briefly considered keeping the Paint since she hadn't died (the welsh was the second one I've lost to EGS) in the time she was here and hadn't sold. However I actually started to resent her more because I loved the other one so much and this horrible thing was still here. So I sold her a week after the other one died and started riding the wee welshie again.

Part two of the story is I saw Daisy (super cob) advertised online in Ireland and I bought her from a video. Seeing her, obviously green but obviously honest and obviously a supercob in the making, was the first thing I smiled about since my mare died. She is great, but is a hand smaller than advertised (we get away with it but I really wish she was 15.1, she's the same height as the blooming Paint, however 3 rug sizes bigger!) but she has a muscle storage disorder which means I have to be very careful with her management. She's fine just now, but could become impossible to manage and be symptomatic at any time. I love her to bits and just enjoy her now, try not to worry about the future too much. With those things in mind, I've bought another welsh D just recently, and will have to see if she shapes up as a second horse for me. If I don't enjoy her like Daisy I will sell her on and keep looking for that elusive love match

ETA sorry that's a flaming novel!

 

[Izzydonkey]

Reading this has really helped me. My pony of a life time has had to retire due to injury and the 2 I'm riding at the moment just don't do it for me. I'm really trying but one is too small and only here for summer and the other to big, he also seems to have a split personality, some days he is great and comes on really well, other days I'd be happy to never see him again. He takes 10 steps forward then 9 and a half back. He's had me in tears of frustration but I'm riding him with no other contributions so really don't want to give up but I just can't gel with him.

 

[Rev]

What is it that you want him to do and what does he do instead of what you want?

He's a kickalong. He's quite happy to plod about and copy the horse in front - I want him to lead out hacking, and have some enthusiasm. I've always had horses that want to work and are relatively forward. He's not, and I'm finding it a bit of a battle of wills. He becomes spooky and silly if you push him into things that he doesn't want to do.

FW - wow, what a story! I'm sorry you lost your mare, life always has a way of throwing these things in at the worse possible time. I lost my original boy to colic just as he was coming into his own. Tragic.

It's always so difficult to get a feel for them before they arrive home, but it always seems so awful to rehome them. It's interesting to see different views on the topic.

 

[Spot_the_Risk]

Rev, it was gut feeling with our home red.

My 23 year old was bought aged five completely out of the blue. I'd tried him for a friend who ran a riding school, she decided not to buy as he was too green for her... I still have no idea where my 'well I'll buy him then' came from. He was my first, I'd never even had a share, within the first couple of months I had a broken wrist, broken collar bone and broken ribs, none through naughtiness, purely green horse and owner. I still adore him, and hacked him out this morning with friends, and as usual he led all the way.

 

[Cobbytype]

Oh dear Rev, I do feel sorry for your boy. I'm not having a go at you, far from it, you're sensible and sensitive enough to realise there's a problem.

Like others have said, there are people out there who desperately want what you've got - a safe, tag along, go with the flow, happy hacker, so you are not in the awful position of trying to offload trouble, but have the luxury of finding him a loving home, from many prospective buyers, where his laid back personality will be cherished.

I do think you would be best to think about selling/loaning him, as your relationship with him will start to deteriorate further the more psychological pressure you put him under - he no doubt feels quite a failure at times because he cannot do what you require.

My husband sold his lovely horse some years ago. A lovely ID x TB who suited hubby down to the ground in size, type and temperament. But they didn't click and my husband lost interest. There was no fault on the part of the horse, but for some unknown reason my husband was always on edge when riding him - he was a really handsome, much admired horse and I think my husband felt embarrassed when riding him because he was a little in awe and felt the horse could do better elsewhere (I'm quite sure the horse was happy and had no aspirations, but there you go). I guess it was a reverse situation to what you're in - my husband felt under pressure to do stuff that was out of his comfort zone and he preferred riding my cob who was very naughty, but husband was more relaxed with him. We must have looked ridiculous when we swapped (which was too often) - a petite, 5ft 3 woman on a 17hh sports horse... and my 6ft hubby on a barely 15hh heavyweight cob

We talk about the horse often and still miss him all these years later, but he went out to a few competitions, did well and he had the looks and talent to ensure he went to a good home. I think hubby did the right thing, as I had 2 of my own horses at the time, so didn't want to keep riding my husband's horse if there was no prospect of my husband rekindling his desire to ride him.

Good luck - I'm sure you'll do the right thing by both of you

 

[Irish gal]

Rev - if he's not right for you and it sounds like he's not then let him go to a home where he fits the bill. He might be perfect for an older person for instance. This is your hobby and life's too short not to have what you really want. There's nothing bad about selling him. It makes it so much more enjoyable to have a horse you really click with.

 

[Rev]

Thank you for the answers.

CT - yes, you are right. I've been wondering whether the reactions we are seeing lately are part of him being a 5 year old, or whether they are a result of psychological pressure being placed on him. 99% of the time he is still the plod along he has always been, but there are odd days where he has just panicked and let rip. It's so unlike him, he's normally safe as houses bar the odd silly spook.

As I say, we've worked with him for the last 12 months on building his confidence with small steps, getting him towards hacking in the lead and such. We've made real efforts to keep it easy for him, giving him two days on, two days off, things like that which seemed to help his outlook on work. If we school we only do 20 mins at a time, and hacks aren't overly long. But still the reluctance is made obvious if we're pushing him out of his comfort zone.

I think we will take him back to just plodding at the back for a while, and see what happens to his behaviour. If that makes him happy, perhaps I have a decision to make. It makes me sad, because I'd hoped this guy was here to stay. He's beautiful, and such a lovely nature. He's also safe, which is more than I can say for others that I've bought. I guess between the conflict ridden and the fact he's a very big built 16.2, and I'm 5'5 and 9 st, we have to think of what is right.

The experiences are useful reading, thank you for sharing.

 

[Gloi]

I think we will take him back to just plodding at the back for a while, and see what happens to his behaviour.

I don't know how much time you have or what companions you have to ride with but have you tried really putting the miles in out hacking. Letting him go behind but going a longer way on a regular basis, maybe starting with a couple of hours at walk every day and then building it up to as much as you have time for and letting him lead as you approach home. It has worked for us with ones lacking confidence.

 

[kinnygirl1]

My boy was my perfect horse for the first year that I had him...I couldn't believe my luck. But then I had a nasty fall from him where he bronked until I came off and I am sorry to say I have never felt the same about him since. I love him dearly but I don't think I will ever gain back that 100% trust that I had in him that first year. He has had some health problems which we have worked through but need constant monitoring and I have changed his management and my general approach, all which have helped but I must admit sometimes I think I would be better off retiring him and looking for another that I have complete trust in.. Not very helpful but just to say I understand where you are coming from.

 

[misskk88]

I think it entirely depends what you want, and if he doesn't float your boat, that is absolutely fine to admit! If you want something a bit braver, a bit more switched on, no one is going to blame you. I am sure though that someone would snap your boy up for being a safe and reliable ride.

I have ridden (and owned) ones which have been lovely horses, but they just didn't give me that same buzz as others would! I couldn't outwardly give a reason, just that they weren't my type!

ETA- For what its worth, I think a horse that isn't right for you can change, but only where there is a desire to do so, and whether the reasons for it could be fixed i.e groundwork, training, working on horses behaviour etc. If you generally just feel that he isn't the horse for you as his personality or the way he rides doesn't do it for you, no matter how 'nice' he is, your overall perception is unlikely to budge.

 

[epeters91]

I was in a similar position with my ol gelding I had him for 5 years and he built my confidence up massively. I trusted him more than any horse I've owned I could put anyone on him he helped friends get over fear of horses and even brought a young 14 year olds confidence back up after having a few bad falls off her first horse.

The problem was I wanted to go out do more and start doing more jumping my boy was not a fan of jumping and didn't like to travel. I spent 12 months I got him boxing although with the odd stressy day and we tried to build up his jumping but he just wasn't enjoying it. I had an amazing safe horse that loved to hack out and school, he was great with traffic a perfect nanny to stressy or young horses and never strong or silly. I found him a lovely home close to woodland trails and a beach and the elderly gentleman that owns him now loves him to bits and enjoys all of their riding adventures not a jump in sight

Sometimes as much as we love our horses we have to look at what we want and what they want if it doesn't match up it's best to find them someone who will spend everyday loving them for what they are rather than wishing they were different xx

 

[Cobbytype]

Thank you for the answers.

CT - yes, you are right. I've been wondering whether the reactions we are seeing lately are part of him being a 5 year old, or whether they are a result of psychological pressure being placed on him. 99% of the time he is still the plod along he has always been, but there are odd days where he has just panicked and let rip. It's so unlike him, he's normally safe as houses bar the odd silly spook.

As I say, we've worked with him for the last 12 months on building his confidence with small steps, getting him towards hacking in the lead and such. We've made real efforts to keep it easy for him, giving him two days on, two days off, things like that which seemed to help his outlook on work. If we school we only do 20 mins at a time, and hacks aren't overly long. But still the reluctance is made obvious if we're pushing him out of his comfort zone.

I think we will take him back to just plodding at the back for a while, and see what happens to his behaviour. If that makes him happy, perhaps I have a decision to make. It makes me sad, because I'd hoped this guy was here to stay. He's beautiful, and such a lovely nature. He's also safe, which is more than I can say for others that I've bought. I guess between the conflict ridden and the fact he's a very big built 16.2, and I'm 5'5 and 9 st, we have to think of what is right.

The experiences are useful reading, thank you for sharing.

Just one thought though - others on here may disagree... have you tried rocket fuel?

When my lovely 'drum horse' was in full livery and I worked away quite a lot, the YO put my boy on a competition mix. She rode many horses each day and liked them all to be forward and easy off the leg. She thought the change of feed (from Cool Mix) to Fast Release Energy Mix would go one way or the other: he'd put weight on and be lazy, or he'd become more energetic. He became more energetic. He wasn't a snail to start with, but the change in feed gave him an extra spark.

Obviously it depends on the weight of your boy, the last thing you want is an obese horse, but I guess at 16.2hh he has some form of hard feed? It won't make him brave, but it might give him an extra little bit of oomph.

 

[Slightlyconfused]

This might sound reaching but has be had bloods done to see if he is all okay? At 5 I know a few plods but you can always rev them up and down a bit. That and our ex racer started refusing to hack in front and went ploddy when his ulcers played up. No other symptoms than lack of confidence and energy, along with weight loss but that's not always a symptom. Also how are his eyes? One of mine wouldn't lead on a had, no matter what, won completely panic and you could never ask him to hack on his own off the yard. Years later got a free health check at the vets and turned out he was blind in one eye.

 

[Rev]

Some wonderful replies on here. Thank you.

Re: rocket fuel. No, I haven't. He's a big lad, but he's also on the podgy side! He was fed on chaff and a balancer through the winter, he's not on anything at the moment as he's looking rather rotund. I have debated it before, but I was worried that perhaps the extra energy would go towards making him more spooky / silly, rather than pushing him forward?

SC, not yet. He's a happy, healthy boy and we haven't got round to tests just yet. He's had general check overs by the vet (including eyes) as a sideline to vaccination appointments, last time they were here all they could comment on was how well he was looking. He's always had ad lib fibre, he doesn't drop weight easily, and he's forever playing with the other horses in the field. He can pick up and has done on very rare occasions, but only in a large group.

I feel torn at the moment, especially after riding a friend's forward arab x this week who adores her work. It's giving me some food for thought.

 

[supsup]

I have a somewhat similar horse, and after seven years I feel I've "pushed" him as far as he will go out of his comfort zone. He does everything I ask, just sometimes with very little enthusiasm. I do get occasionally frustrated that he is not more forward thinking and won't offer a bit more effort without having to be asked. But I still think his good points outweigh his bad points.
IMO, no horse is perfect. It's all about finding the one whose bad points you can tolerate well. When I think about it critically, the times I wish for a more whizzy ride are those when I'm fully in my comfort zone - hacking alone at home, or at competition venues I've been to dozens of times. This is what's given me the confidence to aim for more. But I tend to forget the many, many times his laid back attitude has saved my bacon. Whether that was in difficult traffic situations, or when faced with a dog running up his backside, or when another horse ditched his rider in a wide open field and started galloping around, and mine just pulled up and stood there so I could help the fallen rider. Ideally, I'd still want those traits, just paired with more energy - but on my terms please! Realistically, I think that would be very hard to find in a horse, and a more energetic type would probably deal less easily with stressful situations.
Long story short, I think it pays to be realistic about what problems a different kind of horse would present, and whether you'd be happier dealing with those kinds of problems than the ones you are currently facing.

 

[Boulty]

It's a difficult one but sounds like at the end of the day although there are things schoolingwise that a good instructor could help you with to make him a bit more off your leg he's probably never going to be whizzy and overflowing with enthusiasm. As for the hacking, well in that respect it is not outside the realms of possibility that he may yet surprise you (equally he might not)

The horse who turned into my "once in a lifetime" took me 2 years to realise how special he was. Nothing to do with him as he was very straightforward and would do all in his power to please I'm just not a very trusting person... Perfect as he was in just about every other respect he did develop health issues early in life that limited what I could do with him and yes at times I did find it difficult to deal with but he was too special to let go and so I worked around it (even loaning him out and doing regular visits when I went to uni to avoid selling him and then taking him back early when circumstances dictated that was best). He didn't change in that time (he maybe toned his exuberance and need for speed down a bit... or maybe I just became a better rider?)

Current horse I came very close to selling on more than one occasion. He's rather sensitive, a bit sharp and loses all sense when he gets worked up and trying to push him into anything he's unsure of will eventually lead to a meltdown. This led to him bolting once with me and trying to take off when spooking several more times, refusing to have anything to do with cows even with other horses to protect him, a refusal to hack alone and him completely shutting down when I tried to take him jumping. He could also get himself worked up when asked to stand to be brushed (esp if no other horses were in) and grooming could turn into a task and a half.

Around the time I was seriously considering trying to sell him and coming to the conclusion he was just a bit too full on for me and that even if I'd had the confidence to tackle all of this I work full time at an intense job and the yard is supposed to be my chill time he went lame. At first I just wanted to get him diagnosed, see if he'd come sound and then either sell or make some not very nice decisions. As time wore on it became clear that there wasn't going to be a quick fix or a definite cure and even when we were on a good run he did keep having the odd week or few days of lameness, however on the whole he was a bit nicer to deal with and (in periods of soundness) we were starting to face up to some of our demons with the help on an instructor.

In desperation I threw everything I had (in more ways than one) at taking him barefoot (with a lot of professional help and support) as a last ditch effort to try and keep him sound and as part of this he went away for a while. I think having this time apart with me having a bit of free time to clear my head and him having the benefits of a routine that suited him down to the ground helped put things in perspective and how relaxed he was in an environment that worked for me showed me what he could be if I just worked at it a bit.

Step by step we've been chipping away at out problems. He's still an irrational stresshead at times (infinitely better with a minneral balancer, prebiotics to helps his gut and mag ox supplementation) but will now hack alone and take the lead happily (both were out of the question before), he doesn't immediately try to leg it if something spooks him and he's happy to stand either tied or in stable without other horses being around (still particular about what brushes I'm allowed to use though). Through lessons he's also a lot more forward most of the time although we do still hit bumps and have frustrating times the same as everyone else out there. I'm hoping he's going to be able to do most of what I bought him for eventually, it's just going to take us longer than anticipated to get there! (Although up until a month or so ago I was preparing to accept never jumping away from home competitively... turns out the problem was not him but my bad riding giving him mixed signals!) I am by no means a brilliant (or even a "good") rider and I'm not particularly confident. We've just taken everything in baby steps so that any objections from him are kept at a level we can both cope with.

Not sure how relevant any of this is (probably not very!) but I guess just wanted to say that whilst you're never going to be able to give a horse a complete personality transplant it's amazing what you can manage sometimes with the right motivation and the right help. Equally if you've tried going down various different techniques, still aren't getting anywhere and it's no fun for either of you then there's nothing wrong with deciding you may do better apart from each other (I'm just annoyingly stubborn!)