Depression and Riding??

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ChestnutMaree

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I know a lot of people with depression say that horses are what kept them going but does anyone feel the complete opposite?

I love being around my horses but I really haven't been enjoying riding since I got diagnosed :( I was diagnosed when I was 15, now I'm 16 and still waiting for my counselling to start. My doctor can't give me medication as I'm under 18 so would have to be referred to a specialist which she doesn't want to do until I've tried counselling. I need to go back to the doctors to find out what's happening with my counselling but keep putting it off :/

Should I make myself ride or just spend time with the horses down st the yard?

Has anyone with depression given up horses and actually felt better from it?

Thankyou for any replies xx
 
There's plenty of evidence that exercise helps depression. Why don't you ride every day for a week, and see how you feel at the end of it. A bit different but I have had a lot of confidence problems after an accident. If I haven't ridden for a while I really don't want to. However once I get going again I feel great. I find it helps me deal with stress and other stuff too. Good luck.
 
Do what you enjoy, if its just mooching around the yard doing a bit of tidying up and grooming, stick to that :) Try not to put pressure on yourself if there is something that makes you feel uncomfortable. I'm not an expert but that's the advice I would give any friend who wasn't really enjoying their riding.

Can you just phone, or even email, the doctors if you don't feel like a visit in person?
 
For me, my horse (and my dogs) get me through bouts of depression as they provide me with a reason to get up. I have to go and feed the horse and turn her out and I have to walk the dogs. They also bring a sense of continuity and routine which stops me from disconnecting with the real world altogether. Try and get to the yard every day - there's no pressure to ride. Just potter about. Good luck, and never be afraid to go back to your GP as often as it takes to get the help you need.
 
FfionWinnie said:
There's plenty of evidence that exercise helps depression. Why don't you ride every day for a week, and see how you feel at the end of it. A bit different but I have had a lot of confidence problems after an accident. If I haven't ridden for a while I really don't want to. However once I get going again I feel great. I find it helps me deal with stress and other stuff too. Good luck.
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Thankyou for the reply.

I did try to ride more (not everyday but a few times a week) but owning a difficult youngster and a semi retired horse makes me think more negatively about riding. I either have to battle with my youngster who is going through the 'bad attitude' phase or go for a hack with my oldie. I know I'd much rather go on a hack with my oldie but hacking has never really been my thing :/ x.
 
madamebonnie said:
Do what you enjoy, if its just mooching around the yard doing a bit of tidying up and grooming, stick to that :) Try not to put pressure on yourself if there is something that makes you feel uncomfortable. I'm not an expert but that's the advice I would give any friend who wasn't really enjoying their riding.

Can you just phone, or even email, the doctors if you don't feel like a visit in person?
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Thankyou for your reply.

It's a relief for someone to say that it is okay for me not to ride. I'm constantly thinking that I should ride; for my horses and not myself. I think I will go to the doctors as I have a lot of anxiety surrounding making phone calls/writing emails x
 
In that case have you considered the youngster is just not the right horse? It's only going to help you feel better if it's enjoyable. Similarly, feeling like you must be doing something with the youngster is probably putting undue pressure on you too so that will remove any enjoyment. How much input do your parents have in the horses. 2 horses at 16 is quite a load.
 
Bojingles said:
For me, my horse (and my dogs) get me through bouts of depression as they provide me with a reason to get up. I have to go and feed the horse and turn her out and I have to walk the dogs. They also bring a sense of continuity and routine which stops me from disconnecting with the real world altogether. Try and get to the yard every day - there's no pressure to ride. Just potter about. Good luck, and never be afraid to go back to your GP as often as it takes to get the help you need.
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Thankyou for your reply, I do still go to the yard everyday, twice a day if I've kept the horses in. And I definitely feel like it gives me a purpose, even if all I do is muck out... the stables still need doing :) I will go back to the GP I just feel like I need to think about it for a week or so before I get round to it x
 
FfionWinnie said:
In that case have you considered the youngster is just not the right horse? It's only going to help you feel better if it's enjoyable. Similarly, feeling like you must be doing something with the youngster is probably putting undue pressure on you too so that will remove any enjoyment. How much input do your parents have in the horses. 2 horses at 16 is quite a load.
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Yes I am considering not keeping the youngster... I've worked with 2 or 3 youngsters before this one but she's a rescue pony and has always had to fight to live, which she has continued to do since being broken in. My only thought is, if I get back into riding and I don't have the youngster, I don't know what I'll focus on as my oldie has severe arthritis and it looks like I'll have to retire him. My parents pay for the horses so I don't have to work (I am looking for a job for the summer as I've left school) I pretty much look after them myself but my mum will muck out/bring in/turn out for me x
 
I don't suffer with depression but my partner regularly suffers with low moods and I know how challenging life can be for him at times.

I would just do what you feel comfortable doing for now whether that's pottering around on the yard or having a little ride. Definitely agree with MB - don't put too much pressure on yourself. I am definitely a routine kind of girl and find that really helps me focus and feel that I am doing things for a purpose.

On a side note I am really into nutrition and supplements and currently completing a Nutritional Therapy course - there are some herbal supplements you could take which you can buy online or in Holland & Barrett such as St. Johns Wart and Ashwagandha which are great at times of low mood.
 
Be gentle on yourself and don't make any big decisions about riding (or anything else) when you are low. If riding doesn't lift your spirits atm it's quite OK to step away for a while just as long as your horses' welfare is covered, the rest can wait. If you can find something which gives you back more than you put into it you need to do that for the time being xx
 
My horses have helped no end with life long depression. I have hardly any big bouts anymore. They do give you a purpose and like all animals, they don't judge you. So it can be good therapy to just sit with them and breath and just be! I can not advise you what to do but the good thing ChestnutMaree is that you are being open and talking about your feelings. This is so important. I hope you will get some good help from your doctor and that counselling will start for you soon. Sending a big hug and positive thoughts for you xx
 
As someone that suffers from depression and anxiety (more anxiety) - having Nugz does help. I've left him for about 18 months without riding him and he's probably actually better for it. Your youngster will be the same and could actually benefit from being handled on the ground and maybe doing ground exercises and not being ridden. When you are ready, it will all come together. Speaking from experience, forcing yourself does not always help, instead it creates a never ending cycle of negativity as the horse challenges you, you react in a way that isn't how you would react normally, the horse then fights back, you get angry, horse gets confused or mardy, you lose confidence. Not helpful for anyone!

You will have a lightbulb moment, and you will find yourself on board completely out of the blue. When that happens, embrace it and finish the session on a high - don't 'go for another 10 mins', finish at a good point, ready for the next time.

And don't be disheartened when you find yourself not wanting to ride again. It's normal!

Look into Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (CBT) - this works for me so that 9/10 I can bring myself around, it's now rare I need help from pills. It's not for everyone though.
 
From my experience, the best thing is go with how you feel. I didn't ride for 6 months - would just go and cry into Pie's mane instead. But he helped me by being there. When I was on the road to recovery I felt able to get back on. That was 8 years ago now and I still love riding him.
I think it is best not to feel 'I should ride' because then if you don't it makes you feel lower (those bad thoughts that you are letting them down). If you feel like it then great, if not then perhaps just a cuddle and a groom. As long as their needs are being met, your health is the most important.
Do try not to shut yourself away though as going out seeing people and doing things really does help. I wish you lots of luck and hope that you find some treatment that helps. I agree that CBT is great - I can manage my feelings mostly now.
 
I often just go up the stables and have a potter about without riding. I find if I am feeling low, just having a chat to my pony and a grooming session is really calming. I don't ride unless I want to and she is not bothered either way (speedy but sensible). Sometimes, when I do ride, we just go for a walk and trot up the road or in the school but other times, I feel like going for a blast around the field. I think the main thing is you are happy with what you are doing, don't worry about the perceptions of other people.
 
Although for the most part, exercise helped me massively during my down times, riding was one of the things that just didn't. I was incapable of getting off the horse and not completely ripping apart my riding skills to the point of anxiety attacks when I would next get on. Sometimes your brain just does silly things....I stopped riding until one day, just like that, I realised I wanted to ride again.

You don't have to force yourself to ride, and it doesn't make you a bad owner if you don't ride.
 
For me riding is the only time when I feel release. My mare is an over reactive tool so focusing on keeping us both upright and safe means I don't think about the other rubbish that usually fills my head. But we're all different and there are no rules. Just take each day as it comes and take all the help that's offered to you.
 
Beth206 said:
I don't suffer with depression but my partner regularly suffers with low moods and I know how challenging life can be for him at times.

I would just do what you feel comfortable doing for now whether that's pottering around on the yard or having a little ride. Definitely agree with MB - don't put too much pressure on yourself. I am definitely a routine kind of girl and find that really helps me focus and feel that I am doing things for a purpose.

On a side note I am really into nutrition and supplements and currently completing a Nutritional Therapy course - there are some herbal supplements you could take which you can buy online or in Holland & Barrett such as St. Johns Wart and Ashwagandha which are great at times of low mood.
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Thanks for the reply, I would definitely say I like being in a routine. In the winter we go to the yard at 5.30-6 in the morning and I can't stand it if we don't go and my mum turns them out for me or anything like that!
I'll look into those supplements you were talking about x
 
cally23 said:
My horses have helped no end with life long depression. I have hardly any big bouts anymore. They do give you a purpose and like all animals, they don't judge you. So it can be good therapy to just sit with them and breath and just be! I can not advise you what to do but the good thing ChestnutMaree is that you are being open and talking about your feelings. This is so important. I hope you will get some good help from your doctor and that counselling will start for you soon. Sending a big hug and positive thoughts for you xx
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Thankyou for the reply, do you currently ride? I definitely feel better after going into the yard, even if it's just to muck out, I feel like I have a purpose as the horses depend on me so much. I'm glad your depression is under control and hopefully you are feeling abit more like your old self xx
 
pansymouse said:
Be gentle on yourself and don't make any big decisions about riding (or anything else) when you are low. If riding doesn't lift your spirits atm it's quite OK to step away for a while just as long as your horses' welfare is covered, the rest can wait. If you can find something which gives you back more than you put into it you need to do that for the time being xx
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I think I'm going to spend the next month or so just trying to think about myself and feeling better, I might get a job so I've got something else to focus on and then maybe think about riding. I'll always look after my horses, I've always ridden so I don't think I could cope with not having horses in my life at all xx
 
Nugget La Poneh said:
As someone that suffers from depression and anxiety (more anxiety) - having Nugz does help. I've left him for about 18 months without riding him and he's probably actually better for it. Your youngster will be the same and could actually benefit from being handled on the ground and maybe doing ground exercises and not being ridden. When you are ready, it will all come together. Speaking from experience, forcing yourself does not always help, instead it creates a never ending cycle of negativity as the horse challenges you, you react in a way that isn't how you would react normally, the horse then fights back, you get angry, horse gets confused or mardy, you lose confidence. Not helpful for anyone!

You will have a lightbulb moment, and you will find yourself on board completely out of the blue. When that happens, embrace it and finish the session on a high - don't 'go for another 10 mins', finish at a good point, ready for the next time.

And don't be disheartened when you find yourself not wanting to ride again. It's normal!

Look into Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (CBT) - this works for me so that 9/10 I can bring myself around, it's now rare I need help from pills. It's not for everyone though.
Click to expand...


Thankyou for replying, I think for the last 6 months I've been forcing myself to ride because that's what I've always done and now all of a sudden I've realised how much I really don't enjoy riding anymore. With my youngster you have to be really quiet around her, if you do anything to quickly or loudly, it's like flicking a switch and she gets really worked up (she's a rescue) so you definitely have to be in the right frame of mind to work with her. She was rescued as the only mare out of over 100 volts so she's always had to stand up for herself, it definetly shows when you work with her.

I think it's CBT that I'm meant to be starting, I'll check when I next go to the doctors, I can't get antidepressants from my doctor while I'm under 18 so I don't have many treatment options x
 
Pie's mum said:
From my experience, the best thing is go with how you feel. I didn't ride for 6 months - would just go and cry into Pie's mane instead. But he helped me by being there. When I was on the road to recovery I felt able to get back on. That was 8 years ago now and I still love riding him.
I think it is best not to feel 'I should ride' because then if you don't it makes you feel lower (those bad thoughts that you are letting them down). If you feel like it then great, if not then perhaps just a cuddle and a groom. As long as their needs are being met, your health is the most important.
Do try not to shut yourself away though as going out seeing people and doing things really does help. I wish you lots of luck and hope that you find some treatment that helps. I agree that CBT is great - I can manage my feelings mostly now.
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Thanks for your reply, I think I'll still try and spend as much time at the yard as I can but just have a break from riding, most of my friends I know through horses anyway so I'll still see people. I do feel worse when I shut myself away but sometimes I just can't find the energy to get out the house - I'm sure you can see where I'm coming from. I'm glad your CBT helped and you are riding again x
 
Griffin said:
I often just go up the stables and have a potter about without riding. I find if I am feeling low, just having a chat to my pony and a grooming session is really calming. I don't ride unless I want to and she is not bothered either way (speedy but sensible). Sometimes, when I do ride, we just go for a walk and trot up the road or in the school but other times, I feel like going for a blast around the field. I think the main thing is you are happy with what you are doing, don't worry about the perceptions of other people.
Click to expand...

Thanks for the reply, I'm trying to go to the yard and groom the horses each day now, it's nice to have a break from being with people but not feel alone if you know what I'm saying. I'm hoping my oldie enjoys the break and when I do ride he'll have a bit more get up and go in him, then we should both enjoy the ride, whenever that is x
 
ScottyJ said:
Although for the most part, exercise helped me massively during my down times, riding was one of the things that just didn't. I was incapable of getting off the horse and not completely ripping apart my riding skills to the point of anxiety attacks when I would next get on. Sometimes your brain just does silly things....I stopped riding until one day, just like that, I realised I wanted to ride again.

You don't have to force yourself to ride, and it doesn't make you a bad owner if you don't ride.
Click to expand...


Did you keep your horse/s while you weren't riding or did you have a complete break? I'm hoping I want to start riding again at some point. You're right, your brain does do silly things; I don't enjoy riding yet I still miss it :/
 
joelb said:
For me riding is the only time when I feel release. My mare is an over reactive tool so focusing on keeping us both upright and safe means I don't think about the other rubbish that usually fills my head. But we're all different and there are no rules. Just take each day as it comes and take all the help that's offered to you.
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For me it's the complete opposite, my oldie is so good I don't have to think about riding, he knows where we're going and just takes us wherever we're going ahah, until he spooks at a leaf on the floor lol. But my youngster definitely takes my mind off things because you have to focus on her so much. But sometimes I just don't think we're right for each other. I do think about not keeping her and having another youngster but I don't know :/ there's so many decisions to make, I won't be rushing into anything though x
 
You sound like you're taking the right approach! You don't have to ride, but - as others have said - just getting outside, grooming, mucking out, taking them for a walk in hand, etc. is all really helpful. I volunteer with an Riding for the Disabled-type organization and many of the children and adults with mood disorders will spend a whole session just grooming, etc. It's been proven to really help.

Good luck - I know it's tough, I've been there - but it DOES get better. Just keep going :)
 
Hello my love,

First of all, I just want to say I'm really sorry you're feeling the way you are. It's *****e, no two ways about it. Next I just wanted to share my experiences in the hope they might be able to give you something to relate to.

When I was just a couple of years younger than you, I fell badly depressed. By the time I was your age, my interest in my lovely pony had waned considerably. I loved him to the moon and back, but all my energy was drained and I had no interest in doing anything, let alone going to the social environment that was the yard. He was on full livery so there was no pressure. I just went to see him every other day. Some days I rode, some days I didn't, but I know I was always glad I did when I managed to muster up the energy. Ultimately, horses and ponies don't mind if they're being ridden to their full potential so long as they're being loved. My pony was always just happy for my company, and I'm sure the horses you spend time with are too. But as someone who knows just how toxic and crippling depression is on the things you enjoy, don't let it win-push yourself to keep going with horses. In the end I sold my pony. Partly because I was too big, partly because I had no will to go on. I grew to regret it more than anyyythinnggg and actually, the year and a bit I was horseless for was the worst of my life and I hit my lowest point-lower actually than when I was admitted to hospital as an emergency (when I still had pony). Maybe that's why I pour so much love and attention into current horse. Anyway, I'm rambling.

With regards to doctors and counselling and medication, I can only say be as open minded as you can. Because I was admitted as an emergency, I was put under child services and prescribed medication, which I have been on since the age of 14. Please talk to your doctor on how to move forward; even though it's probably the last thing you feel like being right now, the only way to kick start the recovery process is to be brave. You've gotten through this much so far, you can take this next step. There is absolutely no shame or embarrassment in it!! The right combination of therapy and medication has changed my life, and I'd hate to think that you're taking that chance away from yourself like I did when I was younger; that's why I ended up so poorly. Read all these replies, you have everyone behind you. You can do it!!

My waffle is over now, and I hope you haven't minded me speaking so candidly on your post. If you ever want to have a chat, just send me a message. I'm through the worst of it now, several years later.

So much love

Harriet and Chilli xx
 
MeltingSnowflake said:
You sound like you're taking the right approach! You don't have to ride, but - as others have said - just getting outside, grooming, mucking out, taking them for a walk in hand, etc. is all really helpful. I volunteer with an Riding for the Disabled-type organization and many of the children and adults with mood disorders will spend a whole session just grooming, etc. It's been proven to really help.

Good luck - I know it's tough, I've been there - but it DOES get better. Just keep going :)
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Thankyou for replying, I think that's what I'm going to do. I guess there's no point in riding while I'm not enjoying it and I'm sure the horses will enjoy the time off to be pampered! X
 
I'm sure your right ChestnutMare. It will do you all good. Look after yourself, be kind to you xxx
 
cally23 said:
My horses have helped no end with life long depression. I have hardly any big bouts anymore. They do give you a purpose and like all animals, they don't judge you. So it can be good therapy to just sit with them and breath and just be! I can not advise you what to do but the good thing ChestnutMaree is that you are being open and talking about your feelings. This is so important. I hope you will get some good help from your doctor and that counselling will start for you soon. Sending a big hug and positive thoughts for you xx
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I agree with all of this xx
 
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