Desperate for advice !!!

Dteccytiv

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7 September 2008
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Heres my predicament. The YO hasn't spoken to me for days, because of a misunderstanding on her part, so now theres an atmosphere when i go down the yard. I can move my boy to the yard opposite, but he wont be able to see any other horses when stabled, but he can here them, and he can see them when he's in the field. I know that i should speak to the YO, but i can't bring myself to do that. I suffer from depression and this is just aggravating it, i usually enjoy being with my horse but now i can't be bothered, i send my lovely OH to see to him. I want to do whats best for him and me. I don't like the thought of him being on his own, in the stable, in the winter, in the dark, but if i don't do something he'll never be ridden, he'll get fat, probably get laminitus. Before the depression i would've told YO to do one, but at the minute i'm not strong enough to do that. My horse is the only thing thats kept me on this planet, and life is getting harder. Going away to cry now, thanks for reading.
 
I think that you need to go down to the yard with your lovely OH and talk to your yard owner together, as the problem will not go away on its own and you are just going to feel worse the more it drags out. I appreciate it will be hard to do but I think it will be for the best in order to stop yourself being in turmoil and your OH sounds the type to support you...take courage from him and sort it out so that you can enjoy time with your horsey again. Take care.
 
Ok. Stop. Take a deep breath and relax.

Shiet happens. Go up the yard with your OH, go and see the ym and say that you are sorry if there has been any misunderstanding but you don't want to have an atmosphere anymore. Give her a chance to put her point of view across and see if you can reason with each other.

The longer you leave it the worse it will get. I know how hard things can be with your depression but get your OH to help you with this one. You don't want to have to stop doing the thing that makes you happy.

Lifes too short, be the bigger person.

Big hugs
 
I think that you need to go down to the yard with your lovely OH and talk to your yard owner together, as the problem will not go away on its own and you are just going to feel worse the more it drags out. I appreciate it will be hard to do but I think it will be for the best in order to stop yourself being in turmoil and your OH sounds the type to support you...take courage from him and sort it out so that you can enjoy time with your horsey again. Take care.

That sounds like good advice to me. Let us know how you get on.
 
I experienced this before. I eventually just apologised for upsetting her (although she was in the wrong) and that was that.

However a YO that is so immature as to continue this behaviour is not the kind of YO you need.

A year after the above incident I moved yards because of the YO (and her vile husband's) behaviour and attitude.

Best thing I did.

My YO now is a lovely woman who is intelligent, sensible and devoid of a drinking problem or a personality disorder - if she has a problem she will politely tell me and it's done.

I have now spent 6 happy years there and would never wish to move.

Do yourself a favour and find a yard with a similar YO to mine - they are out there.
 
I think that you need to go down to the yard with your lovely OH and talk to your yard owner together, as the problem will not go away on its own and you are just going to feel worse the more it drags out. I appreciate it will be hard to do but I think it will be for the best in order to stop yourself being in turmoil and your OH sounds the type to support you...take courage from him and sort it out so that you can enjoy time with your horsey again. Take care.

Totally second this brilliant advice, good luck x
 
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