Desperate - please read

Tell your mum to check her household insurance policy to see if legal expenses cover is included. If it is there will be a legal helpline she can ring for advice and legal assistance.

Good luck hun, so sorry this has happened to you all.
 
This is not meant to cause offense - so please don't take it that way.

Does anyone on here personally know this young lady and if her situation is as bad as she says?

If you could PM I would be grateful

Thanks
 
Im presuming theres been a bit more going on in her workplace than her just being ill. Its a too bigger risk for a small company to take and to face tribunal costs for it. She can claim unfair dismissal if she wanted too.
 
What a dreadful situation to be in. Your mum will be working this out and she will get it sorted. Her employer cannot treat her like this. She will get legal aid under the circumstances. She will get an initial appointment with a solicitor which is free anyway. Tbh, it won't be a lot of good if the business is about to go under, which is what it sounds like. I think her boss is in a panic over things and lashing out at her.
In the meantime, she needs to get an appointment with the job centre and see what benefits she can claim for. She needs to leave her pride at the door as it's not an easy thing to do. They can also make an emergency payment, if she has no money at all, to tide you over until they can start paying her. She can also apply for mortgage assistance, where they will pay the interest on the mortgage.
I am sure your mum is in a bit of a panic over this, she needs to sit down and get a plan together. You sound like a lovely girl, things will get worked out!

oh and Niagraduval, talk about kicking someone when they are down. you cannot judge how well someones horse is looked after, can you not see how upset this young girl is and to say her horse isn't looked after is just nasty and insenstive.
 
I just wanted to say that I went through similar when I was a similar age to you - I know the feeling of still being a teenager, yet struggling to earn money in an attempt to feed the rest of your family. I probably can't offer any practical help - but do PM if you just want to chat.

Oh, one practical suggestion - do you have anything at all you can stick on ebay? Every few pounds will be helpful over the next few weeks.

Take care, and best of luck.
 
Sorry to say but you posted before about your mum losing her job and all horse being sold type thing. Then I have seen expensive competition reports and believe one of the horses is on schooling livery?
Sorry but if funds were potentially tight a uch more sensible option would be to not compete for a month or two and put that money in the bank so there was more than £10 to live on.
I think you need to understand horses are a luxury, not a right and most definitely loaning should at the very least be on the cards.
It does sound illegal, but I don't know about that end of things.
 
p/s do you have expensive horsey stuff you could flog? Saddle? Nice boots? (yours or horses!).
If there's only £10 then needs must I'm afraid.
Have you a trailer/lorry?
fingers crossed you can get some emergency financial assistance. But also to be aware-does your mum know you are posting ehr deep and gritty financial wellbeing on a public forum when you are easily identifiable??
 
SusieT said:
Sorry to say but you posted before about your mum losing her job and all horse being sold type thing. Then I have seen expensive competition reports and believe one of the horses is on schooling livery?
Sorry but if funds were potentially tight a uch more sensible option would be to not compete for a month or two and put that money in the bank so there was more than £10 to live on.
I think you need to understand horses are a luxury, not a right and most definitely loaning should at the very least be on the cards.
It does sound illegal, but I don't know about that end of things.
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How can you shoot her down on this? The reports are in the past, this has just happened and couldn't been foreseen (as far as we know). Whether or not the horse is on schooling livery is neither here or there as this was being done obviously at a time when it could be afforded and i'm sure like most of us lots of things were done without to keep the horses and comps going and i'm sure it'll all be put on the back burner now. We go without holidays and tidy cars to fund our daughters competing and if the **** hit the fan we would be fairly stuffed and i'm sure we're not alone.
BBR, hope your mum sorts the barsteward out, chin up and hugs. Your mum must be very proud having such a thoughtful daughter.
 
Because there has already been a job scare where the horse was gong to have to be sold etc. I.e it wasn't affordable and yet no changes have been made in the family to ensure it doesn't happen again. Not necc. kids fault but as I say, horses=luxury.
 
Hi, agree with other about going to CAB but also get your mum to the Job Center to sign on. Need to make sure her stamp is getting covered and also they can help with support like getting your council tax paid, family support, tax credits etc.
She needs to know her rights and needs to know about what she can claim for.
There are computers at the JC that have loads of local vacancies and you can even use the phones there to call up about jobs.
Get your mum to go round all the agencies and sign on their books. They may not have the job of her dreams but most of them can get her factory work in the short term.
Get your mums CV up to date (job center can also help with that) and get it posted out to as many businesses in the local area as you can.
Go round the shops in the town center and retail parks and see if there are any vacancies in store.
Think of big companies in your area like supermarkets, Pets at Home, Focus DIY, B&Q etc and check out their websites.
The NHS are a huge employer so check out their website.
Sites like Job Center Plus, Fish for jobs, monster, reed recruitment, Jobsite and Job Search are quite good sites to look at online.
Speak to your YO and explain your situation. My YO when i lost my job last year, was very understanding and i worked in their riding school to pay for my livery. Maybe there are jobs you can do down the yard to earn a few quid.
Good luck.
 
OK I think Sedgemoor has given some of the most constructive advice. Heres my pennyworth.

1. Forget the 3 months notice to be redundant - thats incorrect.
2. As your mum has been fired, these means she is immediately eligible for benefits.
3. Look at all your creditors, ring them immediately and put all bills on hold or defer payment (includes utilities - council will defer council tax straight away)
4. Am pretty sure your mum will be immediately eligible for housing benefit as well
5. Sit down with an expert to work out what your mum is entitled to.

Good luck and you will get through this.
 
god how awful :( i really think that you should think about selling your horse- its not so much the upkeep of him but if you sell him then you should have a few thousand at least which would hopefully help to keep your heads above water in the next few weeks/months. yes your mum does need to get some legal help but realistically this could take months to get anywhere (and if the business is going under there might not be any money for your mum)... sorry if this sounds really harsh and its the last thing i would want to do- i have no spare money every month because of bloody horses, but if i lost my job i would sell them in a shot so that i could keep my house and feed myself... :(
 
I don't know about benefits but is there limit to savings that you can have before they stop your benefits? If so, would selling the horse affect any benefits? Just a thought.
 
Sorry just to add...
You need to think about your outgoings like SKY, Mobile Phones, Magazine Subscriptions etc. Are there things you can cut back on until your mum gets sorted?

Go on the cheapest SKY package (£16 a month) or get rid of it completely. Stop paying out for Magazine Subscriptions etc. If you can get off your mobile phone contracts and go on Pay As You Go. See if you can go on a water meter as they are often cheaper.
See what you can sell around the house and do a car boot sale on Sunday to get a bit of cash?
If your mum has credit cards and only pays the min every month then call them up and offer them a token payment like £5/£10 as long as you pay them something you haven't defaulted on a payment...most will accept a short term payment plan.
You need to pay things like Gas, Elec, Water, Mortgages, loans secured on the house and Council Tax. These are the only people who can get you chucked out the house or cut off.
Contact you mortgage company and tell them what has happened, they might let you take a mortgage holiday for a couple of months. If your renting, you are actually in a better position as the council has to find you alternative accommodation if your landlord chucks you out, but you have to accept where they offer you...no choosing a 5 bed house!!!
 
jrp204 said:
I don't know about benefits but is there limit to savings that you can have before they stop your benefits? If so, would selling the horse affect any benefits? Just a thought.
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I know that horses are considered assets in bankruptcy. I went though a very similar thing last year when i lost my job. Luckily for me i got a job but it got a bit hairy for a while and Bankruptcy was a real risk. I had to take out an IVA for 5 years otherwise i would have lost everything. I must admit to be honest your horses will be frowned upon and may not be an immediate issue but if you owe people money they may ask you to release assets which can include property, belongings, cars and horses :(
If you have more than (i think, can't remember the exact amount) £1500/£2000 you aren't eligible for quite allot but by the sounds of this i don't think the OP has to worry about savings!!!
 
By law he has to pay her wages, if she has worked for him less than a year her rights are not that good but over a year they are, she should ring ACAS and seek legal advice, small claims court should cover it. he is banking on her feeling threatened and thinking she can't afford it! Horrible ****** Good luck
 
No. You cannot fire someone for being ill. You can give a disciplinary for a poor attendance record and keep revisiting it it that way to get shut of someone, but you can't fire them just for being ill.

And correct, you can self-certify for the first 7 calendar days and thereafter you must obtain a medical professionals note signing you off for however many days/week or from and to dates.

I work in Payroll so as someone has already put the link on, I'd recommend ACAS or call the Citizens Advice Bureau. If (and i'm not saying it isn't) what you say is spot on, your Mum's now-ex-boss does not have a leg to stand on. Any lawyer/solicitor worth his salt would advise him to settle out of court rather than it go to an employment tribunal.

I've had proper full blown flu once and thought I was dying!! Laugh as you may, but ut really is horrible. I couldn't sit up in bed, I was freezing cold and sweating cobs, I couldn't stop throwing up even though I could only consume water. It was horrible, I sympathise grealty with your Mum. I was off work for a week but took me three to actually recover, stop being so tired & get my appetite back.
 
thank you to all the people who have given some really helpful advice, it realy does help :)

SusieT i am going to PM you because i dont think its necesary for others to see.

Mums got a meeting with citezens advice tomorow.. so fingers crossed something good comes out of that.

Im going to get everything possible to sell from the yard, and house tomorow so ebay and our local tack shops will probably be jam packed full of things we no longer need :) i *hopefully* have a weekend job riding out YO's brothers pointers come sept, so even though not mega bucks - its something, and our local mag comes out tomorow so mum will be doing some serious job hunting!

To the person(s) who dont beleive what ive said. I really couldnt care less. I have just found a mini book called 'lifes litle instructions' and its really cheered me up - heres a few for eveyone so try and make up for the depressing-ness :p

thanks again everyone :)



life is 'to live each moment as it comes'
be the first to forgive
win without boasting
DONT CONFUSE COMFORT WITH HAPPINESS - very relevant!
talk slow, but think quick
remember the ones who love you
never be ashamed of honest tears
DONT CONFUSE WEALTH WITH SUCESS
follow your own stars
never laugh at anyones dream
do the right thing regardless of what others think
have faith in yourself
lose without excuses

there are many more... really cheered me up :)
 
if push comes to shove you may have to get rid of horse hun like you website says "Evented to PN but didn't prove brave enough XC to move up the levels. He has been showjumping since March, and i aim to do the Open PC teams, and some newcomers on him, before selling him" you may need to think about doing it now.


do you have any upcoming shows you can pull out of and get the money back?
 
Sounds as tho you are making positive steps :)

I will be honest with you tho Ellie, I do think you need to seriously consider selling your horse. Horses are expensive and I myself have sold horses I really liked, and a trailer, for the good of the family unit so we didn't struggle.

It is clear that your mother runs the house paycheck to paycheck and many people have to survive like that, there is no shame in it, but I really do reckon that your mother could do without the extra expense of your horse in the equation (and this comes FROM a mother :) ). I am sure she would argue with you until she is blue in the face that it is the last thing she wants you to do, but to take the pressure off, well maybe it is something that does need to be done.

You are young, there WILL be more horses. I really can see you going off and doing a working pupil position, or hey, get in there and call Billy Stud and see if you can get a position there when you have left school (see today's H&H!!!). But, maybe now is the time to be utterly selfless and yes it will hurt, but for the good of the family and all that......No offence intended at all, and I hope you take this in the way it is meant :)
 
thanks weezy, i can see what your saying, and i will sound so selfish, but that will be last resort. my absoloute dream is to event, and we've gone through sooo soo much together me and rocks. We now have the oppourtunity to event again after his break, and we were all ready to go eventing next year. I still would love for that, whether its reasonable of not, i dont know, but he is actually the thing i love most in this world. Im not going to give up on my dream, especially as i have such an amazing horse. I will have a bit of money come sept to put towards him, and when mum was working, it was always manageable. so i think were just going to have to put up with alot of corner cutting over the next few moths until mum finds somthing. She gets working family tax credits tomorow, so that will get food for the week. (shes got a meeting with them tues to sort out what she should now be receiving)

ooh and michelleice- i wrote that at the begining of the year.. circumstances have totally changed since then. the reason we were thinking of selling him is because his XC was sooo bad. After a year off from it, he went schooling a while ago and LOVED it, so we were all set to go eventing next year. Im hoping in the next 3 months or so, mum will be back on track with a job, and i will also have a bit of work. Im so determined to get him eventing next year, ive spent the last 4yrs grafting and working at that, and im not going to let this go. i really hope i can come back on here march next year with a comp report saying we are eventing again :) this may sound realllyyy optomistic, but if you dont believe.. its not going to happen. thankyou for your advice everyone

(sorry if some of this is mispelt/doesnt make perfect sence - havent read it back!)
 
Sorry-it is selfish. Until you contribute financially to a horse you won't realise how expensive they are. Why should the whole family unit go without so you can go gallop round a field?
It's not nice to have to do but horses are a luxury.
 
susieT i know, i said it is selfish, and i feel utterly guilty. i mentioned having to sell rocky to her, she said 'no bl**dy way'. if its neccesary he will go out on loan - i have friends who would snap him up.

And i do realise how much horses cost. each month, i work out how much everything costs, and mum puts that money into my account, and i pay for it all with that money. i also know exactly how much she earns and where all that money goes too, so yes i do realise. i cannot wait to be out of school to get a full time job myself to take that pressure off mum. i feel so guilty, but eventing is the one and only thing i love. when i have money (from clipping horses for toher people, giving kids lessons, riding other peoples horses etc), it all goes straight to mum.

from you pms aswell as the two comments on here, you have spoken to me in a slightly derogitary manner, and i think you think i am some naive little girl. well, i am not, and no longer would like your advice, as it is not constructive any more.

in your pms, i answered you queries, but you still had to dig that bit deeper. i dont know what your trying to get at, but its not helping us get through this.
 
dont take me wrong when i say this but Ive been in this situation at the time i was 6 months pregnant with my 3rd getting to the yard was a problem and money was going to be tight so my boy is on loan for the foreseeable future until IM working and can afford him as well as everything else, Ive just spent 9 weeks with out a tax credit payment because of a new claim and i sold everything of worth and have next to nothing horse wise left even sold my passed away horses saddle i said i never would for £30 just to be able to buy £30 of Iceland shopping.

Think you may have to come to terms that horse may have to go for the best of your family, if you can find another way great and im not saying the horse will go i just think you need to prepare for if it does happen

ETS my OH is going to look at his "handbook" tomorrow to see if theres any thing useful in there
 
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You have been told by many people to sell or loan.
You don't grasp the fact that horses are a luxury, you obviously don't feel guilty, OR you aren't actually in as dire a financial situation as you make out.
Other people love eventing too, but can't because they can't afford it. Again I wonder if your mum wants all her financial details bandied about on a forum..
And just to make it clear-I do think you are a very much a naive teenager, so you are right in thinking that.
 
I understand, I really do. But I have been at a point that I was going to sell Ted recently, and he is the horse that I didn't think I would ever find. My husband was absolutely adamant that I would not do it, cried, stamped his feet, etc....reason is I know he would have felt incredibly guilty if I had had to do it, even tho it actually would have been the right thing to do at that point. Things are a bit better now, but I won't hesitate to do it if I have to.

Your mum doesn't want you to sell because of how guilty it will make her feel...that is deffo a fact. She will feel as tho she has failed you if you have to sell the thing you love. You adore your horse as I adore mine and to watch a loved one sell something that shares their heart is pretty much unbearable.

I just want you to bear that in mind should things not go smoothly from here on in. As I said earlier, you are young and you have your life in front of you - your mother isn't as young as you and if the horse is a struggle then maybe it will have to be YOU who is strong and selfless and makes the decision to sell...

I am glad to hear he wants to XC now, but that may not last. Also BE is bloody expensive! I truly think you will find your horse of a lifetime but I don't think it is this one, I think there is a rich tapestry for you to experience yet.

Hmm this isn't coming out brilliantly, but I admire you for knowing that you are being selfish - it means you have humility and that is an admirable quality in a teenager these days! I do wish you and your family all the luck in the world :)
 
bigboyrocky said:
thanks weezy, i can see what your saying, and i will sound so selfish, but that will be last resort. my absoloute dream is to event, and we've gone through sooo soo much together me and rocks. We now have the oppourtunity to event again after his break, and we were all ready to go eventing next year. I still would love for that, whether its reasonable of not, i dont know, but he is actually the thing i love most in this world. Im not going to give up on my dream, especially as i have such an amazing horse. I will have a bit of money come sept to put towards him, and when mum was working, it was always manageable. so i think were just going to have to put up with alot of corner cutting over the next few moths until mum finds somthing. She gets working family tax credits tomorow, so that will get food for the week. (shes got a meeting with them tues to sort out what she should now be receiving)

ooh and michelleice- i wrote that at the begining of the year.. circumstances have totally changed since then. the reason we were thinking of selling him is because his XC was sooo bad. After a year off from it, he went schooling a while ago and LOVED it, so we were all set to go eventing next year. Im hoping in the next 3 months or so, mum will be back on track with a job, and i will also have a bit of work. Im so determined to get him eventing next year, ive spent the last 4yrs grafting and working at that, and im not going to let this go. i really hope i can come back on here march next year with a comp report saying we are eventing again :) this may sound realllyyy optomistic, but if you dont believe.. its not going to happen. thankyou for your advice everyone

(sorry if some of this is mispelt/doesnt make perfect sence - havent read it back!)
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Try not to worry, it's a lot for you to cope with at your age, I'm sure your mum will get all the help she needs over the next few days from the relevant authorities and you'll be back on track soon. Try to stay positive it sounds as though you have lots of friends that will help with Rocky, I'm sure you won't have to sell him. Good luck to you all. I'll keep my fingers crossed for you.
 
For someone who is still at school, I think the OP sounds pretty grounded and not naive at all - she completely realises that the horse is a luxury item, accepts that her wish to keep him is selfish, but until her Mum comes to her and has to break her heart, then why be so down on her when she is obviously trying to get advice and help her Mum in a constuctive way?

Many (Weezy is a good example) have suggested this to her in a pleasant and non-judgmental way - but why do some folk have to be angsty?

As a teenager, the OP is SO allowed to have dreams and I can completely understand how upsetting it would be to have them taken from her when she isn't in a position to do anything about it. But she seems to realise this....I'm sure she will know when the time is right to do something radical.

Good luck to you Ellie - I really hope things start to go better soon.
 
pootleperkin said:
For someone who is still at school, I think the OP sounds pretty grounded and not naive at all - she completely realises that the horse is a luxury item, accepts that her wish to keep him is selfish, but until her Mum comes to her and has to break her heart, then why be so down on her when she is obviously trying to get advice and help her Mum in a constuctive way?

Many (Weezy is a good example) have suggested this to her in a pleasant and non-judgmental way - but why do some folk have to be angsty?

As a teenager, the OP is SO allowed to have dreams and I can completely understand how upsetting it would be to have them taken from her when she isn't in a position to do anything about it. But she seems to realise this....I'm sure she will know when the time is right to do something radical.

Good luck to you Ellie - I really hope things start to go better soon.
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Have been trying to find the right words to say this, as a Mum I go without so my kids to do as much with their horse as they can, it would break my heart if I had to sell their horse, I am sure Ellies Mum feels the same.

Hold onto your dreams Ellie and I sincerely hope things improve very quickly, give your Mum a hug I bet she needs one x
 
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