Desperate - please read

not even going to bother replying susieT.

And weezy, thank you for your support, i totally understand what your saying. i agree that is one of the reasons why she is addiment i cant sell rocky, the other being, he was brought from inheritance money.. and she has always said she would feel we'd have wasted that money if we never had something to show for it.. does that make sense?

And i really do beleive he is the horse of a life time... honestly... i have cried so much reading this post, and yes, im crying now. just because i feel so strongly about him and couldnt bear life without him. :( sory i sound like a right pathetic, selfish little c*w, things like this just make me extreemly passionate and emotional. i would love everyone off here to come and see him, and us together. He is just amazing. He wont be the horse that gets me where i want to be, i know that and have accepted that. He isnt a badminton horse, but even a horse that would take me to badminton, wouldnt beat rocky. I love this horse so much and couldnt bear to lose him. :'(

thankyou rouletterose, i am trying very hard to stay positive :) it is extreemly tough though! :p its lovely having people to talk to about it though :) thank you for you support its much appreciated :)

michelleice.. i am going to make a massive effort to gather things to sell tomorow we have lots of things that we can sell.. an old saddle, should get £30 on ebay for it, clothes, old bridles, lots of bits and bobs etc.. we should be able go and fish out £100 worth of stuff tomorow that we can sell, so im just leaving him going on loan as last resort. £100 should mean mum and my brother have food, roof over our head, enough money to run the car etc then hopefully she will be able to find a job within the month. Rocky is paid for for the month of sept, so i just hope we can sort something out soon :)

that would be really great if you OH would do that :)

thank you everyone x
 
pootleperkin and alwaysbroke (i think i need to nick your name btw alwaysbroke!) thank you.. a few kind words have gone a long way :') mums getting lots of much deserved big hugs, and we will both be up at 6 tomorow am no doubt 1st down the shops for the paper :p thank you
 
Just a thought, but any of those friends who would have the horse on loan want him on share/part loan? £25-30 a week would go a long way towards his keep. Can he live out? is there cheaper livery anywhere?

Good luck, I'm sure you'll get through this stronger.

ETA PS the local library will have newspapers you can browse for free, so take a pen and paper down there to make a note of the details of any adverts you like the look of. Its also a great source of advice for job hunting.
 
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Does your Dad contribute to your and your brother's living expenses? If he does then your family will have some money to live on until your mum gets something sorted out next week. There has been some very good advice about contacting CAB and ACAS. Other than that I think you should try not to take on too much of the responsibility, although I understand that you want to help. That is your mum's role and as a good parent she will not really want you to worry too much.
 
we are currently on probably the cheapest livery in the area (taking into account that hay is included and straw is avail cheap onsite). he would live out (although not with others) but they wont do that at our yard as TO is not all yr / 24/7... could possibly look for somewhere else to just do grass livery, but i think if came to that we would probably just put him out on loan... im not sure, something to discuss with mum!

and my brothers (sorry step brothers!) dad does, and to some extent for me aswell (he has been brill even though mum and him have only recently split) but my dad doesnt... i have only met him a handful of times, (left mum when she was pregnant!). i think he should have to pay, but i leave that decision upto mum as theres probably a reason why she hasnt asked for money.. what, i dont know. but... :confused: gah - who needs eastenders ey?
 
Oh bless you all what a terrible worry and situation to be in.

A few suggestions, this happened to me when I was young. My answer was that to keep my pony at 15 I had to find the keep and cover all costs as we could not longer afford it, I chucked pony on grass livery and just left her and gave up riding for 6 months apart from checking her. Walk everywhere or bike to save petrol it was 5 miles to field and back twice a day. Go round every evening and weekend knock on doors, offer to help with housework, gardening, washing cars, babysitting. If you have elderly people near you offer to shop and help them charge a little I charged 50p to go shopping for them and ended up with 10 each week I would just go for an hour and shop for them all and a fiver was a lot then, so maybe ask £2 per person to help them. Paper round or freebie newspaper round, I had to travel 9 miles to the shop and back as all local newsagents and ones in built up areas had waiting lists once a week and a 3 hour round for £3.76, and had to bike miles between to deliver papers but no one wanted that round. Go round every yard, and see if there is a couple of hours work that you can do, try boarding kennels and catteries.

Wishing you all the best and it all works out in the long term, as the saying goes these trials and tribulations in life make us the person we are. It certainly taught me that hard work certainly does pay and lets you achieve your dreams.

We didnt have sharers in my day, but maybe get a sharer that will pay towards his keep while you need help and they can keep him ticking over for you through the winter so that you can work.
 
re your dad...doesn't he legally have to help contribute to you? i realise it might be difficult for your mum to ask him for help but at the end of the day its not fair that she has to shoulder all of the costs?

hopefully there will be lots of jobs in the local papers today and she'll soon get sorted with something :)
 
SusieT said:
Sorry-it is selfish. Until you contribute financially to a horse you won't realise how expensive they are. Why should the whole family unit go without so you can go gallop round a field?
It's not nice to have to do but horses are a luxury.
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Why such a nasty post??
Yes horses are expensive but they can also be part of the family.
Have you never been a teenager with dreams?

Anyway, there are ways and means to keep horses on less money.
Maybe you could speak to your livery yard and offer to work for a few hours a week to help cover livery, maybe grass livery for a while while things are tight, I know he is a comp horse but maybe consider giving him a holiday for a couple of months, take shoes off and turn out, would maybe give you more time to help earn his keep and would also save money.
Offer to do any little jobs for people ie dog walking baby sitting washing cars etc etc. ebay car booting. On line surveys etc.
Try looking on moneysaving expert website for ideas.

maybe offer to look after other peoples horses if they are away etc.
Good luck and I hope things turn out ok for you. Im sure you ar sensible enough to know that horses are a expensive hobby, but there are ways off doing things more cheaply.
If things dont improve you might have to consider loaning him out for a while but im sure you know all that.
 
Luci07 said:
OK I think Sedgemoor has given some of the most constructive advice. Heres my pennyworth.

1. Forget the 3 months notice to be redundant - thats incorrect.
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Actually it depends on her contract as per my origonal post. The "norm" is 3 months. It does differ from company to company. If a company disposes of one of its employees with out following their stated policies and procedures then the company is in hot water, very hot water. A fully qualified employment lawyer will be able to advise on the contract and the statutes in place should she not have one.

Agree with the rest of the advice though.

Hope you are feeling more positive today.
 
Sorry to hear this Ellie :(

Again regarding the horse - I'm in a similar kinda situation and will do my utmost not to sell him. I know you don't want to loan him, but it's better than selling surely? I think my plan would be to have someone share him 3 days a week or so, for a financial contribution. Doesn't have to be long term, but he's a good horse, so you shouldn't struggle. Maybe a friend, or a rider you trust...preferably someone who could afford lessons on him? If they had lessons with somebody you like, it could even be good for him.
Other option - is there any chance you could work at a yard weekdays/weekends in return for free or reduced stabling?

Don't have much advice re legal stuff though..
 
If you're not going to event 'till next year, and a break in his past has already shown that it does him good not harm, find a really cheap grass livery (£10 a week is still possible, there are some in my area which isn't cheap overall), take his shoes off, and turn him away for a bit. When finances improve, you can move him back. That way, when finances are dire, your mum will only have to find £40 a month livery, with just wormer, insurance and feed on top. That should come to around £100 a month total, which is still a lot, but I know of people on benefits who manage that fine, so as soon as your mum gets all that sorted out it should be ok.
 
what about taxi driving its **** hours but could keep her tickin over also sell a load of stuff on ebay everyone s got things they no longer use also car boot a load of stuff keep your chin up
 
Paddydou said:
If the situation is exactly as you say then your mother can actually go for what is known as "constructive dismissal".
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Please ignore this ^^^ If you didn't resign.

My mum is a employments law adviser with a trade union. This is the advice she would give... (she things you have a strong case for unfair dismissal as he hasn't followed procedures)

Go to direct.gov - employment and your rights

Then contact/get appointment with CAB - with someone who knows about employment law.

Do you have legal cover on your home/car insurance is so ring them for advice.

If you owe money for mortgage/electric/rent etc tell them what's happened. They can reduce payments for a spell as a short term measure. (the possible money saved could help you keep the horse)
 
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