Did any of you have horses on a plate and weren't interested?

[chestnutx]

My 6 yr old daughter can ride whenever she wants but she really isn't very interested. Does this mean she doesn't have horses in her blood? Or will she eventually just love horses like me?

I haven't forced her at all - we have a companion pony for my horse who she can ride and play with and very occasionally she'll come and play ponies but most of the time she is not at all interested. Ive booked her lessons at local riding school as I hoped riding with other children might encourage her. First lesson was great but second she was on a cheeky pony and after she said she didn't want to go back and she didn't want to learn to ride!

What is best when it comes to kids and ponies? Is it just my deam to share this love with her? Or if I don't push her will she later say to me she wished she taken advantage of having a horsey mum?

Any advice appreciated?

 

[Spring Feather]

I have no idea what's best. Is there a 'best'? We have fundamentally 2 sets of kids; the older ones who all had ponies for as long as they were interested and once they were no longer interested the ponies were moved on. The younger one has had ponies all her life and has never lost interest. She's grown up and married now but she still has a number of horses of her own. I'm very much into the 'let them be' philosophy, there was never any pressure on any of our children to be horsey-minded, they either were or they weren't and either was fine by me.

 

[racingdemon]

I've got two boys, one 6 & one 7, both have had a pony since before they could walk, both joined pony club at 4 & have done lots of different rally's, the eldest is mad mad keen, the youngest can take it or leave it, & is more interested rugby & football so does less pony club & lessons etc (at the mo the eldest is determined to be a pro SJer)

I've no idea why one is keener than the other, but if I was you I'd wait till the summer & get her involved with some of the fun non riding horse things, like bathing the little pony, mine like playing games with theirs (on the ground & ridden) & generally pottering about chattering to them!

& I wouldn't worry about her missing the boat with riding, she might suddenly get the bug at a later date & will have all the advantages of a horsey mum

 

[tankgirl1]

My 9yo son isn't that interested either, he can ride Dolly on the lead rein whenever but he mostly just moans about having to go and see to her with me I was hoping he'd be the next Carl Hester but alas it seems not to be!

 

[tinycharlie]

I never had ponies as a child and i encouraged my daughter to ride, and my son when he was younger tho he has no interest now. My daughter loves horses and before we had charlie she did have lessons, went to pony club and had shares. I didn't force her but just gave her opportunities to ride and be around horses and she's always been quite keen. I would have loved a pony when I was young, charlie is my first pony too lol
My friend had ponies, she lived on a farm but she wasn't horsy as such they were just part of the farm, I think sometimes if they're handed to you from day 1 it can go either way, you're either hooked or can take it or leave it xx

 

[Notimetoride]

Goodness, your bank balance would be an awful lot healthier if your daughter isnt interested ;-) I wouldnt push it tbh. We all love horses more than life itself sometimes, but not everyone does. I suppose there is more to life that horses, and she may have a passion for something else, be it swimming, music, dancing, sports or whatever. I just think its good to have a passion for something, no matter what it is. I think its important to let her try lots of different things and let her decide for herself and possibly find she has a talent for something, and then support her as much as you can. Im sure you would feel just as proud seeing her up on stage in a performance, or competing in a swimming gala, as you would watching her showjumping.

 

[Equi]

Just depends on the kid. My friend has an old retired horse and her daughter begged and begged to get a ride on him so the mum took her to a riding lesson and she refused to get on and that was that nipped in the bud.

 

[Notimetoride]

I also meant to say that in time, without any pressure, she may discover a passion for ponies all by herself

 

[Landcruiser]

I made the mistake of pushing my daughter into horses when she was young, and had some bad luck with a loan pony for her which proved very unsuitable and shook her confidence. As she got older, it was clear she didn't share my love of the beasties, although she'd ride one of mine now and then if I asked her along. Now at 16 she claims to be allergic, will hang up a haynet under duress (or if I pay her!), but that's about it. She was a decent rider, too.

I was a pony mad pony-less child myself, and I guess I tried to give her what I had wanted so desperately. Didn't work :-(

 

[Shantara]

I think if they are able to ride whenever - they won't, but if they have to wait for a weekly lesson (like me) they'll be waiting in the car with riding hat already on before parents have even finished brekkie!
I know a few friends who had ponies all their lives and don't ride now.

I had to wait almost 23 years before I got my own horse and could ride whenever without having to ask permission first (I could ride a lot, but had to text YO and wait for a reply) and it's a fabulous feeling to have worked and earned him

 

[NZJenny]

I don't have children, but since I can remember there was nothing else I wanted to do. No one else in my family has any interest in horses and in my experience you either are or you aren't.

 

[thatsmygirl]

I wouldn't push it, mine has grown up around horses and now, well she can't stand them

 

[Jenni&Ditty]

I was allowed to ride, on a good friends pony, from the age of 2. Now I'm obsessed, I ride every day, but my mum and her friend, who owns the pony, said I wasn't very interested until about 6. I don't know what happened or what made me more interested, though.

 

[View]

I wouldn't push it. Although we had Paddy at home, my sister was a darned good rider, but lost interest (was seriously into music) - she could have ridden Paddy anytime, but really had to be persuaded to exercise him if neither Dad nor I was around (very rare).

 

[chestnutx]

Thanks everyone I think you're right about not pushing her as either way it won't work. I too didnt have access to ponies when I was little and I spent every moment of everyday dreaming about my next pony fix, I would have given my right arm to have what my daughter has but alas she is not me.

 

[twobearsarthur]

I've been around horses all my life and had my own from being 7. Couldn't imagine functioning without having a horse about.
My sister however never took an interest ever.
You either have "the faulty can't live without a horse gene" or dont I think.

 

[Tiddlypom]

Tried to get my two lads interested, but to no avail. We had an elderly lead rein pony on loan, and whilst they would happily groom him and lead him about, they were not interested at all in riding him.

Then they discovered cricket, which became 'their' sport, and never looked back.

 

[gembear]

I was in the opposite situation as a child.

My mum was horsey (not anymore) and had ridden since she was 10 years old. She was even a groom for a showjumper for a while. Soon as I could talk, I was begging her constantly for a pony and lessons and I wasn't allowed either.

She knew how expensive it was and didn't want me to catch the bug.

It wasn't until I was in my mid twenties with a stable job, that I finally started having lessons that I could pay for myself

 

[littleshetland]

I've got 2 girls - both grown up now and both of them bought up in a stable yard - one loves it, one doesn't....I'm just glad they're both happy!

 

[Tobiano]

I had to fight and work for every minute I sat on a horse and I was utterly obsessed from the age of 3 to about 17 when my horsy love was PTS.
My daughter announced aged 9 that she'd quite fancy riding, and at that point we both took it up together. As soon as I could, I bought her a horse (but got it rather wrong and over-horsed her) but she could take it or leave it and now has more or less lost interest. I do think I was wrong to 'hand it to her on a plate' but I don't honestly know if she would have been terribly keen anyway.

 

[Caol Ila]

Who knows.

My parents aren't horsey but were wonderful and supportive and got me riding lessons from age 6 or 7 and my first horse at 13.

But... My Dad is a good rock climber and before he became a high school science teacher, he taught climbing, so he knows his stuff, and when I was a kid, he tried to get me into climbing and I would not have anything to do with it. Then, in my mid-to-late twenties, I moved to Scotland, 8000 bloody miles away, and lo and behold, got into rock climbing. My parents were like, 'Why on earth didn't you get into it here and Dad could have taught you everything!" All I could say was, I dunno, just didn't. But when I do hang out with my father, we go climbing and we have a lot of fun. Yeah, I wish I'd got into it as a kid and learned from him; I'd be a lot better at it than I am, but hey ho, that's life.

Point being, you can't force your kids to like horses or music or climbing or whatever, even if it's on a plate, but they may come to it eventually. Or not. You can just offer them the opportunity and they may take it up eventually.

 

[Hoof_Prints]

From what I've seen myself, kids want what they can't have and can *sometimes* not appreciate what is essentially "given to them on a plate". I don't mean to say they are spoilt brats or anything, they may just learn to pay attention to other things that are a bit trickier to achieve . That is one scenario, of course the kid may just not have the interest or enthusiasm. My sister and I have lived pretty much the same lifestyle and were never allowed ponies as kids as our parents couldn't afford it and didn't have the knowledge, we had weekly riding lessons instead and eventually we both saved up enough to buy a pony between us (very supportive parents that tried their hardest to learn and my mum has a bit of horsey background). Few years down the line I have worked hard to buy another two, regularly compete (for fun and to bring on youngsters) and make it my lifestyle- my sister still rides and hunts on the same pony we bought years ago but could easily move to another country tomorrow and never see the pony again without it affecting her too much ! Kids will find out for themselves what they like, if the opportunity is open to them but not forced upon them My mum says she wishes I didn't like horses and had stuck with my ballet as it gives her a nervous breakdown every time I go hunting or get on a youngster! (I'm no ballerina...about as graceful as an elephant on rollerskates)

 

[Crugeran Celt]

I have a 16 year old son and I would ask him often if he would like a pony from when he was very small. I would sit him on my little welsh mare everyday from about 8 months old until he was old enough to say he didn't want to sit on the pony. He never has and never will want or even like horses. It is not in his blood..

 

[Smitty]

Careful what you wish for! Little sis had a pony from age of 3. At age 7 pony was sold as never used and sister didn't notice it missing for 6 weeks (parents had a smallholding so pony next to house!). When it's loss was discovered all hell was let loose and she was placated with a bike and a hamster!

Roll on 2 months or so and the spoilt child decided she wanted another and horse mad mother duly obliged. Sis has never looked back and 45 years later has 7 horses. She has successfully jumped ponies and horses, dabbled in eventing and spent the last 30 years as a dressage diva.

She once held down a full time office job for 2 years but gave it up as they would not let her have every Wednesday off to go hunting!

she is 51 now and looking forward to breaking her homebred warmblood.

 

[FfionWinnie]

Mine has no choice we ride when I say. She absolutely loves the ponies and we have a great time together. We've done 3 hour hacks since she was 4 and she has been off the lead rein since about 4.5 as well. Her ponies have all been the right types to instil confidence and enjoyment. It's important to me she wants to ride otherwise I cannot as I am on my own.

 

[gingernut81]

I have, well my mum has, bought mini a shetland pony (she has only just turned one). She seems to be going along the lines of me of being pony obsessed as any and every horse/pony she sees she gets really excited however the shetland is also a field companion for mine. Although I would absolutely love it if she were into horses like me if she doesn't want anything to do with them then I won't force her.

 

[LovesCobs]

Personally id not think about it for now as you have the pony as a companion anyway. If your daughter outgrows your companion pony as she gets older I would only get her a bigger pony if she puts in the work and is keen to ride and do jobs. That'll be the time you'll know.
My daughter seemed to lose interest but I feel it was because she lost confidence, however she's 11. I got a loan pony who is building her confidence back up and we have joined pony club which has grabbed her interest as well. Sometimes when they have ponies at home they dint have other children around to ride with which can affect it as well.
Once she has outgrown her loan pony we will only get another if the enthusiasm comes from her and she's doing the jobs without being asked to.
However our little pony will stay as a companion for mine

 

[Madam Min]

I was horse mad as a child and apparently asked for lessons, started just before my 7th birthday, mum and auntie were horse mad but my nana and granddad couldnt afford lessons, mum and auntie rode sporadically as teens ( I think helping for rides etc). Auntie started again just before I did, mum started, cousin and later my brother. We rode many different school horses/ponies, helped out at weekends etc but Auntie then had horses which we rode. I gave up when I was 17 and only started again seriously when I met my OH through horses, we now have two and compete for fun. Horses are definitely in my blood and I remember when at school being persuaded by teachers and parents not to leave school and be a groom! I dont have a horsey job, my horses keep me sane and am so lucky that work pays for what I always dreamed for! There was a whole gang of us pony mad but pony less kids "helping" at the yard, I do remember a few kids who were riding under duress and clearly not enjoying it for whatever reason.

 

[mirage]

I had a pony until I was 11,but lost interest after that and never really had anything to do with horses until the girls were little. My eldest asked to ride as soon as she could talk and went for lessons at 4,as did her younger sister. After 3 years of lessons every week,no matter how bad the weather,I realised that they were committed,so bought knobberpony. They are 11 and 10 now and ride at every opportunity, my husband remarked today that they are fairly hardcore,they'll ride in a snowstorm or torrential rain. We still have knobberpony and also a loan pony now. My cousin is a great rider,rode until about 10 years ago when her last horse died.she got a loan pony for her 3 children,but two are scared and refuse to go nearnit,the other rides very occasionally. It is ironic really,I'm not horsey at all and can't ride for toffee but somehow ended up with superkeen riders for children.

 

[Tess Love]

Goodness, your bank balance would be an awful lot healthier if your daughter isnt interested ;-) I wouldnt push it tbh. We all love horses more than life itself sometimes, but not everyone does. I suppose there is more to life that horses, and she may have a passion for something else, be it swimming, music, dancing, sports or whatever. I just think its good to have a passion for something, no matter what it is. I think its important to let her try lots of different things and let her decide for herself and possibly find she has a talent for something, and then support her as much as you can. Im sure you would feel just as proud seeing her up on stage in a performance, or competing in a swimming gala, as you would watching her showjumping.

Definitely this ^^^ we're all different let her find her own that's what hobbies are all about.