Did I buy the wrong horse and what do I do now?

[[155411]]

I bought my mare 5 years ago. Back then I was tiny and if I’m honest, a novice. I bought a big grey mare in the winter so I experienced her stressy side straight away. It scared me back then, not of what could happen to me riding etc but the horse and if she was happy or not, and I had no clue. With the help of my instructor I finally ‘clicked’ with her and we have spent many summers and winters together. But things are taking a toll. Her unpredictable and frankly dangerous behaviour on the ground (rearing at anything that upsets her and the other day nearly on me). Can’t hack her alone she just spins, rears and plants and she’s starting not to want to hack in company now. No turnout at this current yard that we have been at since October. She’s going nuts understandably. I’m filled with guilt that I can’t provide the life any horse deserves. I have big dreams for my self with showjumping. She isn’t a world beater but she’s my world. But I know she isn’t the horse that will take me up the levels. But that’s totally okay she has a forever home with me. I don’t want to do anything with her. Not fair on her to demand good work in the school but then if I don’t she’s just stuck in her stable. And she doesn’t want to hack. This isn’t pain related by the way, we have had every single X-ray done, scan tests etc costing us an extortionate amount. I just turned 18 and still doing driving lessons and have a long time to my test due to the Center being full up I suppose.

So what do I do. I’m not happy, she’s not happy and neither are my family they see me and the horse stressed.

1) ‘retire’ her and put her in grass livery and ride other people’s horses and chase my dreams.

2) keep going and hope a miracle happens and everything gets better.

3) stick it out for at least another year and a half till I pass my test and move further where I can drive to myself.

Any advice, ideas or kind words appreciated. Thanks guys

 

[[155411]]

Add: am I putting my dreams and passion to the side for this horse? Should I just accept defeat and let her just be happy and be a horse? Looking at the bigger picture this seems more wise of a decision.

 

[nagblagger]

Before i would make any decisions, get your horse some turn out, no wonder she is going loopy being shut in a stable since October. Would also be easier to sell if she calms down.

 

[marmalade76]

Cripes, you've stuck it out far longer than I would have! The lack of turnout is a welfare issue IMO. I'd sell her rather than retire her and ride for others if the option is there.

 

[GypsGal1718]

See if you can convince them to move so you can have her on grass livery but not retire her, if not just let her be on grass but that does not necessarily mean retiring her. Give her turnout she needs it, I think stabling is not the best for them even if they have some turnout

 

[AmyMay]

I agree that no turnout is obviously a welfare issue.

But either way sell.

 

[ycbm]

I agree with everyone about turnout.

I know you say she's had every single test done but could you list them for us please? Which parts have been x rayed, which parts have been scanned and what tests have been run?

How old is she? Why do you have to "demand" good work in the school and what happens if you don't demand it, just ride quietly?
.

 

[JBM]

I would put her on grass until you find a more suitable livery with turnout
Or grass livery with facilities

 

[Wishfilly]

Unfortunately, I'm not sure there are many horses at all which will cope with no winter turnout. So if you did sell her, then you'd likely have the same issues at this yard. Also, to those saying sell, who would buy a horse that is rearing dangerously in hand?

Are there no other options locally? Are you paying for her, or are your parents?

The whole situation sounds dangerous and I think you should definitely be seeking other options.

I wouldn't keep any horse at a yard that can't offer turnout for half the year, though- very few horses can really cope with that.

 

[[155411]]

Before i would make any decisions, get your horse some turn out, no wonder she is going loopy being shut in a stable since October. Would also be easier to sell if she calms down.

I’m not selling her

 

[Peglo]

I agree with nagblagger. It’s hard to give advise when she’s inside the whole time. You’re doing so well managing her as you are without any turnout, I certainly wouldn’t want to have to work with mine if they were in all the time. You both might get on so much better if she could let off some steam outside.
Sorry, it must be so hard when things aren’t in your control. But I think you’re coping pretty well considering but I hope you manage to get her turnout soon.

 

[[155411]]

I agree with everyone about turnout.

I know you say she's had every single test done but could you list them for us please? Which parts have been x rayed, which parts have been scanned and what tests have been run?

How old is she? Why do you have to "demand" good work in the school and what happens if you don't demand it, just ride quietly?
.

Too much too list but to name a few : all legs, back, scan of SI area, scoping and more.
I do ride very quiet. She’s fine when turned out

 

[AmyMay]

I’m not selling her

I that case move her so that you can turn her out.

 

[[155411]]

Unfortunately, I'm not sure there are many horses at all which will cope with no winter turnout. So if you did sell her, then you'd likely have the same issues at this yard. Also, to those saying sell, who would buy a horse that is rearing dangerously in hand?

Are there no other options locally? Are you paying for her, or are your parents?

The whole situation sounds dangerous and I think you should definitely be seeking other options.

I wouldn't keep any horse at a yard that can't offer turnout for half the year, though- very few horses can really cope with that.

She was bought from dealer who sold her as something she’s not she’s a sweet natured horse just not liking no turnout like most

 

[GypsGal1718]

Not to be blunt or anything but of course you are putting the horse to the side to chase your dreams if she has no turnout

 

[[155411]]

Not to be blunt or anything but of course you are putting the horse to the side to chase your dreams if she has no turnout

I don’t quite understand as I said she’s not going to be the horse to get me up the levels. I’ve accepted that. She’s not being neglected for my dreams. My dreams are on hold to care for her as I said in post

 

[ponynutz]

I agree. Turn it out. Even if it's a couple of hours a day in the arena while you find her some other livery. The fact you've had all those checks done tells me you clearly will do what you can to help her (because I imagine they weren't cheap) and so I'd suggest moving her. Also give her some toys in her stable (if you don't want to buy some you could also hang double netted haynets from the middle of her stable to make them last longer and give her something to do).

Appreciate that might be difficult until you've passed your driving test, but most of this I guarantee will be that she's stir crazy.

 

[[155411]]

I agree. Turn it out. Even if it's a couple of hours a day in the arena while you find her some other livery. The fact you've had all those checks done tells me you clearly will do what you can to help her (because I imagine they weren't cheap) and so I'd suggest moving her. Also give her some toys in her stable (if you don't want to buy some you could also hang double netted haynets from the middle of her stable to make them last longer and give her something to do).

Appreciate that might be difficult until you've passed your driving test, but most of this I guarantee will be that she's stir crazy.

We aren’t allowed to turn out in arena!! Annoyingly.. just to add everyone she’s perfect when turnout out but no where near has turnout except one place but it’s full and waiting list is very long..

 

[ycbm]

Too much too list but to name a few : all legs, back, scan of SI area, scoping and more.
I do ride very quiet. She’s fine when turned out

Can you explain why you have to demand good work from her on the arena and how she behaves to cause you to use that word?
.

 

[Zoeypxo]

Turn her away somewhere in a herd until you find a yard with turnout.

 

[[155411]]

Can you explain why you have to demand good work from her on the arena and how she behaves to cause you to use that word?
.

The word demand?? She just seems lifeless. She wants to be out in the field, run buck play, not going in the arena. I’m not demanding, I ride her with respect and listen to her. Hence why I spent nearly 6k on tests. She won’t hack out and just rears and spins away from home.

 

[AmyMay]

She was bought from dealer who sold her as something she’s not she’s a sweet natured horse just not liking no turnout like most

How was she sold as something she’s not?

 

[[155411]]

Turn her away somewhere in a herd until you find a yard with turnout.

I’m thinking of doing that tbh..

 

[[155411]]

How was she sold as something she’s not?

She was actually doped and worked extremely hard over and over in the arena for hours a day we did bloods before we bought her just out of caution and we didn’t expect to be right.

 

[AmyMay]

She was actually doped and worked extremely hard over and over in the arena for hours a day we did bloods before we bought her just out of caution and we didn’t expect to be right.

Gosh, that’s awful. How did you find out?

Hopefully you managed to get a good amount of compensation from the dealer.

 

[[155411]]

Gosh, that’s awful. How did you find out?

Hopefully you managed to get a good amount of compensation from the dealer.

Nope. Dealer in question could sell ice to Iceland.

 

[dougpeg]

Turn her out. There will be places, you may need to look further afield. I think most if not all horses would be on their back legs with no turnout since October. She needs downtime. Use the time to consider your options.

 

[ycbm]

The word demand?? She just seems lifeless. She wants to be out in the field, run buck play, not going in the arena. I’m not demanding, I ride her with respect and listen to her. Hence why I spent nearly 6k on tests. She won’t hack out and just rears and spins away from home.

She won't hack out and she's lifeless in the arena? She's a bit fed up with life, isn't she?

How old is she?

Depending on your answer she needs retiring, turning away until you can find her a place with turnout, more tests, or selling to someone who can turn her out enough.
.

 

[[155411]]

She won't hack out and she's lifeless in the arena? She's a bit fed up with life, isn't she?

How old is she?

Depending on your answer she needs retiring, turning away until you can find her a place with turnout, more tests, or selling to someone who can turn her out enough.
.

She is fed up with life. As much as it breaks my heart if I need to sell her to someone who can provide her the life she needs I will. If you love them you got to let them go. She’s 15.

 

[TheMule]

She’d be better off in a home which could offer her one of the essential rights of any animal- freedom to express natural behaviours (IE through turnout) and that wasn’t trying to fit a square peg into a round hole.
She clearly isn’t in a sellable state so I would look for decent sales livery services