Did you sell your horse because of pregnancy ?

[speedbird]

I work full time to pay half the mortgage / bills with partner and keep my horse in livery. I'm having a baby in spring and will be on statutory maternity pay. I am wondering how I'm going to pay mortgage , child care and then go back to work part time , let alone livery shoes insurance etc
If I sell my lovely all rounder I should get about £4500-5000 which I can put into the bank which takes a bit of pressure off . I will also top riding soon and just don't know when I ll start after the baby. It will be my first and last baby as I'm in my forties.
I also don't want my talented horse to be wasted, I would love to see him go on to compete and hunt with someone else. The trouble is, everyone is saying , they don't know how I could do it and making me feel terrible . Although they re usually the women kept by their husbands and have stables at home !
Did anyone else make the heartbreaking decision to sell ?

 

[Fat_Pony]

I did, but bought him back a few months after baby was born!

 

[Gryfiss]

I did and regretted it I think I would have sold her adventually but she would have been perfect to get back on board and get into it again for a year, instead I've had a run of plebs ! Could you not put he/ she on loan ? And wouldn't your other half help out more it's his child too !! X

 

[speedbird]

He is trying to do more hours but there is so many hours in the day !

 

[Pilib]

I bought a horse just as i found out I was pregnant!! A youngish horse that needs a lot of work! I tried to sell him but I saw such potential in him I decided to keep him and I pay someone to school him weekly. My other horse is semi retired so no pressure to ride. I keep my horses at home so no livery costs but I am being made redundant in November, baby is due in early March and I am hoping not to go back to work. I will use my redundancy money for as long as possible then hope my OH will give me some wotk in the farm office! Have you considered a sharer or loan to help with the costs? X

 

[speedbird]

I ve advertised for a sharer but with no luck .

 

[popeyesno1fan]

I did, had no choice at the time, 14 years later, i stilll miss them both. If i had any other way at the time, they would stilll be with me, think long and hard about it. Big decision. X

 

[marmalade76]

No, I kept mine through two pregnancies but they have almost entirely lived out since the first. I just couldn't be without a horse even if all I could do was go and feed it! I do not have stables at home or wads of money to spend, but do have a bit of luck in other ways that mean mine are cheap to keep. If you're only having one you'll be back in the saddle in no time, just rough your horse off for a while.

 

[Countrychic]

No that would be way too sensible!! I have 3 in work and 2 babies to break next year. Baby due in April. I'm lucky though, horses at home and I work part time from home. God knows how it will work but I'm just sticking my head in the sand for now!

 

[Clodagh]

You are 40 - so am I - you are going to find having a baby very tiring and you won't enjoy the horse I am quite sure. If baby will be your one and only throw yourself into it. I only have one and he is a delight and means the world to me.
I would sell, but failing that he sounds like a nice horse you should be able to find an excellent loan home and take the opportunity to have a year out.

 

[Grumpymoo]

I am pregnant too and my horse will be going back to his previous owner at the end of the month. it is heartbreaking but cannot see how I would be able to keep him. I struggle to find the time to ride him now let alone when I have a baby. Plus with the yard being 20 mins drive away and I car share with my hubby it was going to be basically impossible. Gutting I know but you have to think about yourself and your baby too.

Had I owned an easier horse and had a yard in walking distance that allowed 24/7 turnout all year I would have probably managed it. I guess it depends on your circumstances.

 

[Abacus]

No, I kept him and like Pilip bought another one - found out I was pregnant after leaving a deposit for him and had to decide whether to go through with it or not. The older one was already out on loan so it was just a question of whether I wanted a horse at that time (and a young green one). I haven't regretted it, he's lovely and although coming on slower than I would like, it's a wonderful break from the children and work when I do get to ride. In my previous pregnancy I had my older horse who was fab as I could ride all the way through. I'm not someone whose husband pays the bills - I work fulltime - but financially we could manage it.

It sounds as though financially you might find things tight as stat maternity isn't a lot. I would worry that if you make £4500 on your horse it will easily be spent here and there on other things and when you do want another horse the money won't be there. So on this score, maybe a loan would be better to ease the day to day costs and work - if you are sure you want her back in time.

 

[flaxen]

I had to sell my homebred sport horse youngster when my baby was about 8 mths old, he was highly strung and not the stay in a field doing nothing type, when he was bored he was destructive. My husband wouldnt help look after his daughter to allow me any time to do the horses properly or do anything for that matter and still doesnt ( had to have youngsters dam pts while pregnant as wasnt allowed to ride and she had to be ridden due to medical issues ) and trying to look after a highly strung colt and baby who was wanting to crawl didnt happen. It broke my heart but had to choose between him or baby. Things are no better and im now in the process of leaving him and taking my daughter with me although hes making it as hard as he can by getting social services involved by saying im mentally unstable and other things. If you have a supportive husband then it shouldnt be an issue but i have the extreme opposite and even on maternity leave his pay was his and mine was mine. I even had to sell my trailer to buy baby everything she needed.

 

[Clodagh]

I had to sell my homebred sport horse youngster when my baby was about 8 mths old, he was highly strung and not the stay in a field doing nothing type, when he was bored he was destructive. My husband wouldnt help look after his daughter to allow me any time to do the horses properly or do anything for that matter and still doesnt ( had to have youngsters dam pts while pregnant as wasnt allowed to ride and she had to be ridden due to medical issues ) and trying to look after a highly strung colt and baby who was wanting to crawl didnt happen. It broke my heart but had to choose between him or baby. Things are no better and im now in the process of leaving him and taking my daughter with me although hes making it as hard as he can by getting social services involved by saying im mentally unstable and other things. If you have a supportive husband then it shouldnt be an issue but i have the extreme opposite and even on maternity leave his pay was his and mine was mine. I even had to sell my trailer to buy baby everything she needed.

I'm glad you are taking control of your life, well done, be strong.

 

[Coldfeet!]

You are 40 - so am I - you are going to find having a baby very tiring and you won't enjoy the horse I am quite sure. If baby will be your one and only throw yourself into it. I only have one and he is a delight and means the world to me.
I would sell, but failing that he sounds like a nice horse you should be able to find an excellent loan home and take the opportunity to have a year out.

No not when I had my first still had the same horse when I had my second but I had a second horse, the one that got away! One had to go as couldnt cope physically or financially with two and nobody would have wanted my old naggy broken down ex racer so I had to sell my perfect boy.

 

[warmbloodcrazy]

Such a hard decision for you... good luck

 

[holeymoley]

I'm pregnant and due in the Spring also. Money will be tight but my horse isn't going anywhere. He was the best thing to happen to me when I got him and through some difficult years and he has a home for life. He's a native type so generally easy to manage although he is stabled during the night all year round. Riding won't bother him, he's happy with a walk out round the lanes even in hand for a change of scenery once per week, and the rest of the time is happy with his friends in the field. I've got his back shoes off which has halved my farriery bills. Also just trying to buy in hay and bedding just now and to set some money aside just now for both him and ourselves if the maternity pay is not enough.

 

[BWa]

I'm due tomorrow and desperate for this baby to appear!
My horse is an old, steady, very easy care type who is kept at home, 10 steps from my back door with 7 acres of paddock so turning him away wouldn't have been a problem.
I would never sell him as he came to me as semi retirement.
However he has gone on loan to a neighbour where he is having a great time and doing very well.
Anyway my point is I am so glad I did this as now I'm at the end I would have really not enjoyed or managed the poo picking etc. and I've had a straight forward, easy time of it. I went with a friend to watch her jump lesson the other day and whilst grooming I was very aware of being knocked by her horse. Overall I'm glad I made it easier for myself at this stage.

 

[EquestrianFairy]

Nope- i moved her to grass livery (£10 a week) and then she went lame (i still have her) but 3 months after i had my baby i bought another horse and i enjoy riding more than ever because its my 'time out' and for the first time in years i have more time to enjoy it. I just work out my money very carefully but my OH pays all the household bills while im off so i think im lucky in that respect.
However when i return to work next June i will be going back part time and i fully intend to keep riding and being a mum because without riding i tend to lose my sense of 'self'.
I personally feel its important to have the time out, especially as some babies (like mine) can be such hard work.
I did however get a more sensible horse this time and when my girl comes sound she will go out on loan to someone who can handle her sharpness as i dont have it in me anymore now im a mum.
(my baby is 14 weeks)

 

[buddylove]

Babies and horses are bluddy hard work!!
Mine was backed and turned away for 12 months whilst I was pregnant with my girls. He has started work now but I have had to admit to myself that even though the girls are now 15 months old I still don't have enough time for him. I am now paying someone to school him twice a week, it was either that or sell him.
Roll on pre-school!!!

 

[Lynsey&Smartie]

Don't worry about what other people say or think, you have to do what is right for you and your family. It's a hard decision, my horses are at home but I found that having a baby and horses was hard work and expensive last winter for not much enjoyment I wished that I had sold them numerous times when the baby was screaming and not wanting to be in his pram whilst I was mucking out etc, plus I struggled to ride as seemed to need to feed him every 5 minutes! However now he is 14 months I am really enjoying them again, have gone down to 3 one of whom is only 3 so doesn't need riding yet and I'm really glad I kept them. If I were you I would try and find a full loan for your horse now if you are not going to ride for much longer, there seem to be lots of people wanting a full loan so I'm sure you would find someone and then when the baby is a bit older and you are back at work you may find you really want to ride again and can afford to have him back.

 

[Jojoeena]

I'm due mid Dec and have a youngster who has only recently been backed, he's having time off now, stopped riding at about 4.5 months as didn't want to risk it further with a green youngster. I work full time and will have to go back after about 6 months but there is no way that my boy is going anywhere. I may have to drop his livery and either go somewhere cheaper / go to grass livery but i could not entertain not having a horse - that's my sanity !
Having said that, I have a very supportive husband who is very horsey so he is happy to help out where needed now and also when baby is here, he will look after the little one while I have my horse time.
It does all depend on circumtances though and if you really feel that there is no way that you can have both then you have to do what is right for you, things do always havea habit of working out though so I wouldn't make any rash decisions, especially based on not wanting to 'waste your horse' they have no aspirations and would probably be very happy having a 6-12 months off - being a field ornament while you sort yourself out !

Good luck with your decision and your pregnancy !

 

[UKa]

Everyone has to do what's right for them. I refused to give up my horse and have carried on with her during 2 pregnancies and beyond. I am so glad I did as it was my little escape all the way. Arguably I didn't go back to my job but I put the horse on a DIY yard and cut down costs that way and picked up some other freelance projects here and there since so work is very flexible. As we don't have any family nearby the babies/kids just came to the yard with me at all times. It was at times stressful but I couldn't have done it any other way. I was breastfeeding both for 12 months so that was possible and they have pretty good immune systems now from the dirt at the stables I carried on riding mine until giving birth but realise this is not for everyone. I didn't need to worry about competing her as she is a bit of a wreck anyway and we just so some shows for fun now, but nevertheless. If yours could do more how about getting a competent sharer/ loaner so that they can take him on to do more things while you are pregnant and with baby and take some pressure off the daily chores/ costs? So many people give up their horses when pregnant I don't think this has to be the way. Just do what's right for you. Good luck with your decision and the pregnancy!!!x

 

[windand rain]

No I even bought one while pregnant I have always been very lucky My Husband is wholely supportive and will and would do anything to make me happy within reason. He has always paid for everything and no he isnt rich and has no money now because of the horses but he knows they keep me sane and give him an incentive to get out of the house. He enjoys being handed a clean and prepared pony to show in hand as long as as soon as he comes out of the ring I take it back. He enjoys poo picking and even more he loved his children enough to never feel they were an inconvenience and he actually wanted to spend time with them he is very houseproud and a great cook too.
He was made redundant recently and his biggest fear at his age and not being able to find another job (he is 62) that we financially wont be able to manage and still keep the ponies. They are kept on a shoestring now cheap field, only get anything when absolutely necessary but they are vaccinated, fed, regularly trimmed rarely rugged out 24/7 which makes them much harder work but work isnt the issue, money always is we even get to the odd competition still but that is usually paid for by their riders and the diesel by the others we take with them.
recently scrapped the old lorry and have a 4x4 and trailer now and we now have little other social activity to save fuel we eat well the animals eat well and all are warm and comfortable but there is no room in the budget for luxuries, we dont smoke or drink so that helps I suppose

 

[samleigh]

I had to PTS my old boy when I was 6 mths pregnant, inoperable tumor on his spine causing all sorts of problems, I thought I would go mad with out a horse but in fact it was 12yrs before I properly got back into riding, sharing, then loaning and finally owning..the bug does grab you again! Children get harder the older they get and take a bigger proportion of you time & ££££, Sports practise, swimming lessons, tea dates, after school activities the list is endless and I wouldn't be able to ride as much as I do if it wasn't for a fabulous husband, who takes on a lot of the ferrying about and a part time job.

 

[speedbird]

Thank you everybody,for sharing all your personal experiences. I won't make any rash decisions and just see how I get on. Thank you again.