Difficult Situation (Long)

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b0508

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I would like your views on what you think on this story...

A young girl I know (13) has just told me she is buying a 2 year old filly for £1500.Nothing special and not worth that imo. All fine and dandy I might hear you say.....

1) She has only ever ridden a safe as houses cob that she could just about manage (only been riding around 6 months and can walk trot and is a bit unbalanced in canter )and she doesn't know anything to do with youngsters .. Do I have to say any more.

2) She is expecting to back it herself
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3) She has had big ideas before and been told by her mum that she can have this and that to do with horses but it has never come to anything.This time however, she has reserved this filly and looking for a stable for it.Now I do not mean to discriminate here and I for one are not at all rich but she had to give her last loan up of around £20 per week and her Mum has let her down with things due to money but she I know has no idea what it intitles to look after horse

Now I know we all have to start somewhere and I by all means are no superstar rider. But I am really struggling with the logic in this situation. I have trued to advise her to go for something else but she has got her heart set on this filly and her mum (mum doesn't know much about horses )has give her the go ahead.

So what I am trying to say is should i just butt out or try and carry on helping and trying to advise her?
 
Oh dear! Given my current situation with devil mare I'd tell her to forget horses and find a new hobby!

Seriously though, I'd be inclined to stay out of it. Whatever you say she will either ignore, or it might even make her more determined. I feel for her the filly though!
 
I would feel really guilty but if it was me i would stay away!! because in a few months time you could end up looking after the filly yourself
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i would be really worried about helping but i am a sucker for stories to be honest but that is what i know my mum would say, sometimes i suppose you have to go with your head rather then your heart
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It really riles me.She has just told me because this horse is going to be an 'eventer' it is cheap.This filly is a standered bred x cob.Now I am no expert but I would not be spending that much on this kind of horse when I got one like mine for less than that and she is backed and proven ride and drive.Now this situation is really testing my nerve and I really don't know what to do for the best
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Will she be on the same yard as you? How much contact will you have with them?

Personally I would say that it's not really your business and would keep away, unless you see anything going on that could be cruel/dangerous to the girl or the filly.

Sometimes you have to let people learn the hard way.
 
Its not really your place to say something it is her mum who should have said something and that should have been NO in the first place.

Not only for the fact of a 13 year old with little horse experience having a youngster and wanting to back in her self but for practical finacial reasons.

Would be a real shame for the filly to bond with the girl only for her not to be able to afford her after a few months. And if her mum isnt really horsey then the horse wont be on the top of her list of what to spend her money on so the filly probaly wont get the best care if they are struggling with cash.

£1500 is a lot for something which isnt too special. She could probably find a nice riding horse for that kind of money. So you could suggest that she may be able to find something already broken for the same sort of price?

Very awkward situation to be in, we all know what you would really like to say and advice them to do but i dont think she would listen if her heart is set.
 
Oh my god thats scary. I'm 27 have been riding horses for 20 years, owned and competed my own before and I'm still struggling with my rising 7 yr old who is being brought back into work at the moment after a long layoff. It's time for some tough love, I would tell them in no uncertain terms that it's a disaster waiting to happen and the mother needs to stop pandering to the child
 
What does the YO think? Surely they would have the contract with the mother rather than a 13 year old. Maybe you could "lend" her some books on breaking and schooling. Or perhas a visit from the BHS welfare officer, so they know what they are taking on.

It is incredible how laid-back non horsey parents are. I never encouraged my daughter to ride much, and certainly not any of her friends in case someone was injured.
 
I have told them all of this over and over.But she says she has been advised by horsey people who 'really know their stuff' and what ever I say she is getting this filly.To top this off her Mum is pregnant and expecting a baby soon. Now this horse would not be on the same yeard as me so I would not be able to keep an eye on it but i really dread to think what will happen to her.
Imo she is being fobbed off by the person selling the horse as they are going to make a big profit.
 
i know the sensible thing would be to step back and not interfere, but i would be inclined to have a quiet word with the mum. A 13 year old who has been riding 6 months and can't canter is NOT going to be able to back a young horse by herself, and runs the risk of getting badly hurt in the process.
 
I'd have a word with the mother... but then keep quiet if they go against your advice. Even a calm laid back 2 year old filly will be a handful at some stage and need firm handling which in reality I doubt a 13yr old who has been riding for 6mths can give. Car crash tv really, either the filly will end up ruined or the girl will get seriously hurt, or both...
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Does the yard owner know about the situation, because they will probably get lumped with a naughty filly with no manners sooner or later when the girl realises she's bitten off more than she can chew?
 
To be fair the horse won't be ready for backing for another two years which is plenty of time for her to learn and if she gets help with it then that could turn out quite well. As for the other things - I'd hope this is something they've thought over in advance... Perhaps a grumble about the expense of horses when you next see her
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sounds abit like me when i was 12, i had lots of riding experience but no owning experience, i bout a 2 year old phycotic newforest and got threw in the deep end big time, but he turned out an absolute angel in the end, just let them got on with it and see what happens, aslong as the YO is knowledgable and doesnt let the horses welfare become and issue
 
I would have a word with her mum if you know her well enough. I think the price sounds a bit high for the filly for a start. I am expereanced in breaking young horses and i have worked with horses since leaving school. But in 2008 i bought a 3yr old cob to break in. ( I paid £600) He was realy sweet and easy to do but one day i was out hacking and he got spooked by some cows and he paniced and reared up and fell over. I ended up with a broken hip and wrist. But i feel lucky as it could have been so much worse. I would worry what could happen to this girl if she bought the filly.
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Personally would just keep out of it.
Know what you mean tho person on our yard bought a yearling cos her present (older)horse was too foreward going
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TBH he's turned out ok(had help from a person on yard they'd moved to) but is being sold as too much for owner as 3 yr old.
 
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To be fair the horse won't be ready for backing for another two years which is plenty of time for her to learn and if she gets help with it then that could turn out quite well. As for the other things - I'd hope this is something they've thought over in advance... Perhaps a grumble about the expense of horses when you next see her
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I bet they try and break it as soon as they get it, at 2! The girl has a nasty accident coming her way I think and high chance that pony will be ruined. Very sad
 
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To be fair the horse won't be ready for backing for another two years which is plenty of time for her to learn and if she gets help with it then that could turn out quite well.

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I think this is a really good point. Has it dawned on this girl that she won't be able to ride her little horse for a good two years? Having a horse is a very tempting proposition. If i was 13, I wouldn't want to just watch my horse running around in a field, i'd want to be riding it and hacking around with my friends, doing what all the other kids are doing.

Also, the OP suggested that money might be tight for this family - are they really likely to pay for riding school lessons as well as livery for an unrideable horse? We have a pretty good income, and i still find it tight to pay for as many lessons as i'd like, along with my livery.
 
Hmm, tricky one. I have known a few people who I would class as 'novice' (eg previous sharer for my old and very safe mafe, who I still wouldn't have let out alone even on her!!) buy youngsters (she bought a yearling!) However said person had enough money and sense to get hers professionally back and now a year on keeps it at the yard she had him backed at and has weekly 'lessons' with them, so only really hacks unsupervised. Hers is now rising 4 and tbh I take my hat off to her as he's a nice horse!

However the combination of the girl's youth, inexperience and potentially lack of funds from OP's post does sound a bit worrying. I agree with whoever said maybe speak to YO?
 
Mother won't have much money with another baby on the way! I've been riding over 30 years on all sorts of horses including some nutters, but I wouldn't take on a youngster for breaking. And Standardbred x Cob - bred by the local travellers maybe???
 
QR - you've said your piece to them, I really don't see what else you can do. At the end of the day, it's their business. If you are inclined, stay on good terms and be there if they ever need your help.
 
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