Dilema with loan horse - what should I do?

[zoeshiloh]

Some of you might remember a few months back when I had a huge rant about the lady who has one of my horses on loan - she had phoned up about another horse that I had advertised for loan, not realised it was me advertising the horse, and basically bad mouthed the horse of mine that she already had on loan (as well as badmouthing me).

Well, because I left my job, I didn't feel I could go and get my horse back without knowing that I had the time and money to support him (he is not cheap - gets through about £50 of feed and supplements a week).

I have (finally) plucked up the courage to ask for him back though - the trouble is that she has qualified him for a championship in September, and wants to keep him for that. I feel mean saying no, so said that was ok. Now she asking me if she can keep him until the end of the endurance season (October 26th). I feel mean saying no, but at the same time I want to get out and do some things before the summer season is over. I will compete him indoors all winter anyway, and with OH on harvest, and then ploughing etc through to about then anyway, I am not going to get out to an awful lot of competitions between now and October as it is. So would it be better to just leave him where he is being looked after and ridden?

October is a long way away, especially when I initially said end of August. That then got changed to September (for the champs). I know I should just stand up for myself and say he is coming home after the champs...

 

[lozxox]

He's your horse take him home when you want. He's not hers to decide when he comes home! Bring him home after the champs!
She shouldn't have bad mouthed you in the first place.

 

[jesterfaerie]

If you want to have him home after the champs then bring him home then, you shouldn't feel mean at all you have given her the horse on loan, listened to her bad mouth both you and him and despite that let her keep him for the show she qualified for.
If you bring him home before the endurance season is over I am sure he will not miss out on much and as you said you will be competing him over the winter.
If you bring him home after the champs it will give you a little bit of time to sort your money and time situation out for when he is back home.

 

[xcalicox]

Much of the above really.
It's your horse you decide, the added confusion of "putting the knife in" doesn't hep.
Maybe you could allow her to borrow the horse for her champs?

 

[Natch]

Bring him home the day after the champs. especially since you never really know what goes on when a loan goes "bad" and the loanee is waiting out the end of their time with the horse (says the cynic in me)

x

 

[Gingerbird]

Yes to chmapionships, NO to end of season.

Your horse, just tell her exactly when YOU want him back!

 

[ClareHasler]

She would soon hand him back if he wasn't doing the job she wanted so as it is YOUR horse get him back asap.

 

[zoeshiloh]

Just told her that I want him back after champs, but if she is that desperate to ride the last couple of endurance rides, she can pick him up from my yard and take him. Perhaps I am being too nice, but I think that is more than fair.

 

[xspiralx]

Bring him home when YOU want to bring him home, he is your horse! To be quite honest this woman has treated you like a mug, she has absolutely no right to dictate anything after what she said about you and your horse.

 

[LankyDoodle]

Bring him home when you choose. Sounds a lot to me like she is trying to keep pushing the end date back. What'll be next? 'Can I keep him for the hunting season?'

Does she know that it was actually you she was bad mouthing you to?

 

[rocky123]

I would bring him home after the champs. if not she might think that you will keep changing the date. it sounds just like a problem I had in the past.

 

[Angua2]

um.... with her history of bad mouthing you and your horse and moving the goal posts are you actually sure that there is a championship?

or is that me being far too suspicious.

At the end of the day he is your horse and you are entitled to bring him home when ever you want

TBH I think with all the history you have been more than fair and generous

 

[Smash]

What did she say when she badmouthed your horse? I'd call her and ask if she really wanted to take a horse that did X, Y & Z to a competition.


Sod her, get him back now. She can hire your horse if she wants to go to the championship - on your terms.

 

[zoeshiloh]

She has actually got quite narky with me now, saying that now she has no horse to ride, and that she will be without a horse etc... I got quite cross and said I would take him back earlier if she was going to be like that. I am letting her keep him for the champs when I really wanted him back at the end of this month. She now has just over a month to find another horse, and I have said she can take him to the endurance rides if she picks him up from mine anyway. This is why I avoided a confrontation for so long, because I knew it would all end in bad feeling, and I hate that.

On the bright side, already looking at horsedates deciding where I am taking him - we will go straight out and do some affiliated BD if he hasn't forgotten everything he knows!