Dilemma - keep or sell?

Yubbie

Yubbie

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I haven't posted for a while but would appreciate all your opinions.

I have a 7 year old ISH who I bought as a very green 4 year old. I've bought her on slowly, had some ups and downs but we've built up a good relationship. She is the most sweet natured, polite, easy to do mare and I absolutely think the world of her. However and this is the reason for my dilemma, she is sometimes just too sharp for me when out hacking. She doesn't do anything nasty but if she does take exception to something her answer is to whip round and tank off - she usually only goes for several strides and I can pull her up but as a 50+ Grandma I'm not the rider I used to be and it's starting to unnerve me. This doesn't happen every time out but when it does it really dents my confidence. I've come off her 4 times since I've had her which is more than I've ever fallen off in the last 20 years!!!

We've competed at dressage, showing, and show jumping and I have regular lessons but never encounter this habit, it's only out hacking that she sometimes gets a bit too flighty for my liking. I did send her to a pro for an honest assessment and was told that she is a lovely mare with nothing malicious about her but that she does have an anxious side to her character and has a strong flight response:eek:

As I said I love her to bits and am really attached to her but realistically I wonder how long I can carry on kidding myself that she'll eventually turn into the rock solid hack that I need - 30 years ago this behaviour wouldn't have been a problem but I'm getting too old to want to deal with this. Would it be better for both of us to let her go to somebody more capable than me?
 
Well at the end of the day owning horses is meant to be fun.

I recently sold a horse that sounds similiar to yours - he was a great competition prospect, beautiful to look at and my instructor loved him, but we just didn't click. We also had issues out hacking so I never 100% trusted him. He too had an anxious temperament, which would manifest in both his ridden work and in his handling, and was just too 'high maintenance' for my lifestyle and needs.

I now have a 5 yr old cob that I totally trust and although he will never be as talented, we have so much fun together. I do plan to compete him at low levels but are at our happiest hacking out over the Shropshire hills and enjoying a blast on the hunting field.

He has made me realise all the looks and talent in the world cannot replace the reassurance of knowing that I have a horse that I can take anywhere, do anything with, and bar a freak accident, come home safely with a smile on my face.

So having been in your shoes, I would be looking to sell......
 
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If you absolutely don't have to sell her for financial reasons or to find yourself something slightly less flighty, I'd say keep her and find yourself a sharer. Someone kind, reliable and confident who would be happy to hack your mare out through the 'spooks' until she settles down a bit (they do, eventually) in return for maybe doing a bit of competing with her.

I'm saying this as I'm finding myself in the same position. At nearly 60 I've got a wonderful athletic intelligent rising 5 year old mare, just backed, waaay too much for me to bring on. As you say, 20 years ago I would have been up to the challenge but I know my limits. It would break my heart to sell her as we've got a really special bond, so I'm setting about finding a sharer for her. Hard isn't it? Hope you find the best solution for you both.
 
Oh Yubbie I can SO relate to the 50 years old and not too keen on the spinning round! I am having to sell the horse I bought in May because of this - came off him twice in 2 months and very nervous the rest of the time. Mind you it is the devil's own job to find something reliable that doesnt do that.. I have one on trial now fingers crossed but don't underestimate the time and effort it will take to find one. Having said that I definitely dont think its worth putting yourself at risk if you can sensibly avoid it so afraid in your situation I would sell or at the very least place her on long term loan. Good luck . x
 
Where are you based? Id happily hack her out for you, we had 1 at the event yard that used to do exactly that & I managed to get him out of it in time, he would rear on occasion as well & at 17.2 on the roads it wasnt much fun ! So I know exactly how you feel :)
 
That's a hard one - I am of a similar age to you and I have a lively 4 yr old ISH who is backed but currently turned away due to injury and I expect to bring back into work in the spring. I also have a lively rising 4 yr old Dales youngster to back anbd school this spring/summer. I hope mine are not too much for me.
Do you hack in company? Could you get someone younger to hack her for you/with you? Is that an option? Obviously she will likely quieten with age, so maybe avoid the hacking if you feel your confidence going if you don't want to sell her.
 
she sounds lovely, and if she was still a green 4 or even 5YO, id say get someone to ride her through her greenness. But as shes now 7, and your instructor has already said she has a strong flight instinct, im sorry but id recommend selling her on.

Get yourself something like Sidneys horse, and have fun
 
If the horse is sound and suits you in every other way I would be thinking of paying someone young and quick to hack the horse regularily for a while .
Seven is still young and horses often settle as they gain experiance and mileage .
MrGS does not take on horses before 8/9 .
I am 52 and have last year just started using a younger stronger test pilot he comes a couple of times a week so we can get the greener horses out and about and really go for it.
You could be parting with a horse that suits you just before it matures .
However is hacking is the main thing you wish to do I would be more tempted to sell her.
 
Whatna horrible situation.

She is still only young and they often get better hacking with practise.

She sounds otherwise perfect? Is it only the hacking that's an issue? If so, would keeping her to compete and school, get someone else with less self-preservation to hack her and find yourself a more suitable share for you to hack be a possibility?
 
Thank you all so much for your replies, it's comforting to know that I'm not the only one whose been in this position. She really is sweetie and does tick an awful lot of boxes in many ways but I know that hacking is a big part of my riding regime so it is important for me to resolve this issue. We had an episode last weekend and although I dealt with it ok, this week I've found myself feeling quite jealous of those at the yard with horses who don't have issues. If she hadn't weedle'd her way into my heart quite so much she'd probably have been gone by now!!!!

Anyway I've listened to all the suggestions offered and think for now I might now explore the possibility of finding either a suitable sharer or someone who can help me out and just see how it goes. I know it's not all her fault and that I should be more capable but when your confidence deserts you it's so flipping hard. However I'll keep on with my lessons etc and try and focus on all her good points...... wish me luck and I'll keep you posted!!!
 
Yubbie said:
Anyway I've listened to all the suggestions offered and think for now I might now explore the possibility of finding either a suitable sharer or someone who can help me out and just see how it goes. I know it's not all her fault and that I should be more capable but when your confidence deserts you it's so flipping hard. However I'll keep on with my lessons etc and try and focus on all her good points...... wish me luck and I'll keep you posted!!!
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Yeah i hope you find a nice sharer or even person who posted prev saying they would depending on where you are
 
My ISH does this too and I am about your age. He did it the other day and threw in a few bucks, i was determined to stay with him, and the second I got my stirrup back I was able to bend him to a stop/disengage his hindquarters and we were ok.

When he was worse I spent a lot of time getting him to be light enough to disengage hindquarters at a very light ask. They cannot take off or buck when you have them disengaged, so then if he looked anxious, felt wrong, i would take him through all the yielding exercises, and disengage hindquarters on both sides, and by then the focus on him doing something, and the usually was enough to settle him, and we would be okay.

Anyway - i understand how unsettling it is because you do not bounce once you get to 50 something. But she does sound like a good horse otherwise. If you can get someone like an IH instructor/NH instructor or your normal instructor to take you through, some yielding exercises/disengaging hindquarters -( if you are not sure what I am talking about), you may find it is well within your ability to sort this issue safely.

The reason why i had a problem the other day was I had taken him for granted, not lunged him first and the other horses were out in the front garden and he wanted to be out with them as well. First ride for a few weeks, and I did no yielding exercises or groundwork first - or when he became restless).
 
This sounds like my daughter's little 14.2 chesnut mare who I now ride as daughter is busy with a-levels and my mare is retired due to injury. Ours will always be spooky out hacking (she is bombproof with the heaviest traffic but spooks at piles of leaves, if grass changes colour etc ). However she is worst if slightly sore in back and she is very sensitive to mollasses, soya bean and clover. She is now fed fast fibre, pro balance off ebay, salt and magnesium which make her random spooks far more managable. She also can't tolerate haylage so is on hay mixed with barley straw and is an angel most of the time! She hasn't a nasty bone in her body but is a complete stress head and she also needs to trust her rider 100 percent! I have done lots of work with her in hand with Richard Maxwell halter and she is so joined up to me on the ground unless food is tempting her :-) Just to add I'm in my early 40's so know full well, it is harder when you know that you don't bounce as well! Hope you can work things out with your mare as she does sound lovely :)
 
You have my sympathy. Its a hard one. However I think if I were you (and I'm only six years away) I would be looking to find a horse that will be a bit less stressful for you. I think its a big hope to find the right sharer (I have a sharp ISH that has put off a good few sharers) that will fix the problem. You won't have failed either yourself or her, you just both need to find a partner that suits you better. I love my horse, I have done everything that I ever wanted to with her, she is my perfect horse, but I know that if I get another horse (and I will probably be in my 50s by then) it will be a much easier more laid back horse. I've done my share of getting through the rough with horses when I worked with them. Even nowadays I don't ride other people's horses anymore unless I like them. I trust my two and they're safe, even if sharp. I can't be bothered risking myself anymore! I'm not as supple, I don't bounce when I fall and I've a mortgage and other commitments to meet.
 
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