Dilemma - Sharer

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niagaraduval

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Hi,

Have been in contact with a woman about sharing my horse. She ticked all the boxes on my list (adult, independant (drives etc.), insured). She came out to try him last week and my horse had a sore on his withers (posted about it on here). Anyway the sore was all scabbed over so I have ridden him fine all last week as usual. She turned up with her tack she had bought for my horse, all brand spanking new everything as well as her own riding gear. Can't imagine how much she had spent but the saddle alone cost about 800€ and was brand new.

Anyway, she tacked him up etc. wanted to use her tack as she would have to have her own if she accepted to share as I can't leave my tack at the field. Helped her sort out her bridle, bit etc. that was fine. Told her about the sore withers and to make sure the saddle cloth was pulled right up in the saddle and put a sheepskin pad on him. I looked over the saddle, seemed like it roughly fitted although I am not a saddle fitter of any sort. The saddle being brand new was very stiff.

We got on, went for a ride. My boy started putting his ears back when asking for a trot, so we walked for the rest of the ride home. We got home to see the saddle had pulled the scab of the area and poor horse was bleeding slightly. She said she was very sorry (not her fault though), it's totally understandable. I have had to give him a week off though for it to scab over nicely again, I will also wait longer before getting on although his saddle fits like a glove and doesn't touch his withers at all, I rode him all week and it didn't touch this area at all, so it's safe to say her saddle didn't fit.

Problem is this person wants to wait 2 months before sharing the horse so she can exchange her saddle. She also seems like a very busy person saying she wouldn't be available in the week. My horse is very special to ride and most people can't ride him although she suprisingly rode him very well and I seemed to get on with her too (apart from a few things that bothered me). First impressions were good.

I was looking for a sharer now but she seems to fit the bill and is the only person to reply that ticked the boxes (most of the people were teenagers with minimal riding experience etc.).

In 2 months time (when she wants to start the share) I will be gone abroad for a month. I was hoping as the try out went well that she would start sharing at the start of this month which would leave her 2 months to get used to horse and 2 months for me to see how she got on and if I felt I could let her ride him whilst I wasn't there (whats the point of sharing if not?!). So now I am going to have to let her start the share when I get back after 6 weeks abroad which takes it into mid july.. It seems silly putting off the share for another 3 months when I have found a sharer and need the sharer now..

Is this her way of showing that she is having second thoughts ? Does it really take 2 months to find another saddle ? I told her somewhere she could find one and she said that she was going to the area in 6 weeks time for work so it would have to wait until then ? It doesn't sound like she is very motivated considering the place is only 45 mins away ?

Why would she prefer to wait another 6 weeks to go and find a saddle when it isn't that far and it would allow her to start the share right away ? I even offered to lend her my saddle for these 2 months before I leave for a month so she could start the share now so 1) she would have 2 months to find a saddle before I left for a month and 2) she could start the share now which would allow me to see if she was what I want and her to get used to the horse for 2 months before I left for a month. She declined this offer.. I'm starting to give up on this whole sharing thing ! :(
 
mmm all sounds a bit odd tbh ,ive never heard of anyone turning up with their own tack hoping its going to randomly fit a share horse!, regardless of this if shes too busy to start the share or sort out a saddle any sooner than a couple of months how is she going to have time to ride and care for the horse?
 
archiepoo said:
mmm all sounds a bit odd tbh ,ive never heard of anyone turning up with their own tack hoping its going to randomly fit a share horse!, regardless of this if shes too busy to start the share or sort out a saddle any sooner than a couple of months how is she going to have time to ride and care for the horse?
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My thoughts exactly... Doesn't sound like she is making much of an effort ? Has spent fortunes on tack and equipment for him though..and she rides him well. She also is the only one to reply that might be what I'm looking for..
 
Your horse needs a saddle that fits him, the sharer may not be able to find one that fits him properly you cannot just exchange one saddle for another and hope it fits, the horse could end up with really sore back not just a small scabby area. I would find some way of getting round the tack problem and either find someone else that can collect your saddle or get this person to pick it up on their way to ride, it seems unusual to expect a sharer to buy tack and is not really in the best interests of the horse to potentially have a badly fitting saddle used on him.
It may be that this person is not really that keen for some reason but you need to have a proper chat to find out.
 
All sorts of things are worrying about this, from both points of view.

A sharer shouldn't be buying tack for a share horse - it's an unfair cost to them, and it's unfair to the horse unless it's properly fitted. To be honest, if you want a sharer I think it's up to you to make the correct tack available one way or another, and it will save problems on both sides.

This woman isn't suitable on the basis of the timescales - and TBH she doesn't sound all that keen; if they aren't keen at the start they don't tend to get more keen! I'd also be concerned about someone turning up with all new tack, etc - what if she decides to start buying gadgets or harsh bits and trying them out? You need to keep control of what goes on the horse, and the only way to do that is to supply it.

Given how long it will take for this share to get off the ground, I think you'd be better off telling her it's not going to work for you, and using that time to look for another sharer.
 
niagaraduval said:
My thoughts exactly... Doesn't sound like she is making much of an effort ? Has spent fortunes on tack and equipment for him though..and she rides him well. She also is the only one to reply that might be what I'm looking for..
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Hasn't made much of an effort!!!??? She went out, at your request I presume, and bought new tack for your horse, before she'd even tried him...

I share my horses, and the first thing I would do is organise for another set of tack to be available that fits the horse - even if I had to take a huge deposit from the sharer to do so. There is absolutely no way that someone would come with a different saddle (especially if I wasn't confident to know if it fitted or not) and plonk it on already sore withers and let a stranger get on!! Poor poor horse, wither pad or not.

ps, and had I turned up with tack and found a horse with already damaged withers from its current saddle, and found it bleeding after the ride I would be horrified and probabaly wouldn't want to come back until they'd had some time to heal either.
 
Personally I would try and make this work now by finding somewhere safe for you both to fetch your saddle from

A sharer shouldn't have to buy their own and she does sound ideal

I would approach her and say if you can mutually sort the saddle situation would she be happy to start the share now, this should tell you whether it was an excuse or not
 
Why did she buy a saddle before even meeting your horse? Did you know she was going to do that? I feel sorry for her because she's obviously spent a lot of money, but I wouldn't hand my horse over to someone and go away. If you decided to go ahead with the share then you'd need to be around, at least until you get to know her a bit better.
So much wrong about this thread really... if anyone is going to buy tack then surely make sure they visit and get a fitter for the saddle. However, I don't think it's reasonable to ask a sharer to buy tack from day 1, the share might not work out for all sorts of reasons.
 
Aaahhh, tis the french way to some degree I'm afraid. One saddle fits all :o

I couldn't believe this when I moved over here but it is very much the done thing where we live.

My friend worked at a showjumping yard for a year or so until she got her galops and was expected to provide her own saddle and ride everything in it.

ETA Saddle fitters are very rare as well.
 
bit strange that she has to have her own tack. although I understand the difficulties if you have no where to keep it in the field.
I certainly wouldn't let her term up with tack and use it that hasnt been checked!

She doesn't sound to bothered if she wants to wait 2 months.
 
What honey said - hasn't made much effort? Doesn't seem keen? And you think she spent 800 on a saddle plus everything else for your horse?!

I think you should sort out a serviceable saddle yourself if yours is too precious and get a locker to leave it in at the field, this is what I have done when sharing.

Weird situation all round!
 
I'm very surprised you've had the gall to say that she's not made any effort - she's spent a load of money on tack because you've told her she needs it!

You, as the owner, need to provide suitable tack, or invest in a good lockable container in order to leave it at the yard for her. She sounds brilliant, and certainly better than anyone else you're likely to find if you continue to hold out.
 
onlytheponely said:
Aaahhh, tis the french way to some degree I'm afraid. One saddle fits all :o

I couldn't believe this when I moved over here but it is very much the done thing where we live.

My friend worked at a showjumping yard for a year or so until she got her galops and was expected to provide her own saddle and ride everything in it.

ETA Saddle fitters are very rare as well.
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This was the same at a place I used to work at in Canada. I thought it was a bit odd but that's the way they seemed to do things. All us riders were expected to bring our own saddle and just pad it up to fit each horse. I rode and schooled everything from welsh pony types, to ex-racehorses, to competition fit warmbloods, right to a Percheron cross all in my little Gold Cup saddle :eek:
 
Before worrying about her tack I'd be worrying about your own, your horse had a saddle rub albeit a scabbed over one before she put her tack on.
 
Also as a sharer I'd be in no rush to jump on your horse until the sore was fully healed. I would expect to wait... I would expect you to want me to wait
 
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