Dilemma - WWYD?

ChiffChaff

ChiffChaff

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Hi all, after a little advice.

I have a lovely 15hh mare on full loan. She is 19 and mainly a showjumper - she was pretty unbeatable apparently in her youth, and has taught me a lot! Schooling and working correctly is completely alien to her - she is more of a 'go fast head up' kind of girl, and I'm not nearly capable enough to school her out of this habit of a lifetime. She's an angel to handle and pretty good to hack. I enjoy riding her, I've had her for 18months and I've gone from thinking anything bigger than a small x-pole is big, to confidently jumping 3ft.

Sorry for the essay, but I wanted to explain my position!

Her owner has offered to sell her to me. I have said no, mainly her age is putting me off. But also the fact that I can't correctly school her and at her age I can't expect her to jump all the time. Basically in my head I had a plan that I would have her for a few years until her time was up/she needed to be fully retired (sorry to be morbid!) and then get my own who I could do everything I wanted with - I enjoy schooling and dressage. I also feel that she is only going to get more expensive. I don't mean to sound like a total cow but I would never normally consider a 19 year old to buy because of the issues that would be coming quite soon.

However, now I'm thinking I'd be an idiot to pass up on a horse that I know and love, and that she could go on for another 5 years *at least* being happily ridden and doing small competitions.

I can go on full loaning her - the owner wont sell except to me. WWYD? Am I being a complete cow for not wanting her because of her age? Because it certainly feels like it!!
 
Wouldnt say you're being a cow, but being realistic in terms of your personal needs. The thing is, that whilst it might sound a little bit cold on the surface, if you're happy with your current situation and the owner is happy for you to continue loaning, then stick with it. It's not that you don't want her or you don't love her, from an outside perspective I'd say that you at least know what you want and as you say, for the forseeable future you're happy to continue as is. If you know that it's unlikely you'd have the time or be financially secure enough to keep two when her time comes to retire, then I guess the honest thing to do would be to discuss your concerns with the owner, but if the reason you posted was to satisfy your own "guilt", I'd say you have your head screwed on and know what you want in the future. Dont feel guilty!

Ask yourself why you loaned rather than buying in the first place. Take your time and see how you feel in a few weeks or a few months. You might think "actually she was my forever horse and I'm going to see she has a perfect retirement with me". Then again, you might think "I can't afford two, and as much as I love you I know you'll have everything you ever needed with your owner when the time comes". Dont feel guilty whatever you decide, at the end of the day it's your decision to make.
 
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Thank you, you're right of course, I also don't really feel like I'm experienced to *own* a horse...he (the owner) is fine with us carrying on as we are. I think I will see how I feel in a few weeks...
 
I think you should buy her.
You get on well, she's tought you lots and could go on for years.

Forget her age and go on health.
Maybe get a vet to check ger out for piece of mind.

You could improve her schooling with a good instructor.

Why pads her up for a horde you don't know exists?

Or if owner is happy with the current arrangement, carry on with it.
If they arnt desperat to sell.
 
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Why did the owner offer to sell her to you? Perhaps she thought that was what you wanted, owning can feel slightly different to loaning - with a loan you do still feel the need to check things with the owner and not make big changes without consultation.
Perhaps it would be fair to let the owner know your plan so she can prepare for the mare to come back to her in a couple of years time when she needs a slower pace of life.

I believe in 'if it ain't broke don't fix it' so if you are both happy with with the current arrangements then no need to change, BUT I have a 19 technically on loan and I'll retire him myself as his owner isn;t in a position to have him back and I feel I owe it to him with all that he has taught me - that is just my personal choice and I will be able to keep another one for me to ride while he is here.
 
Depends on how much I'd have to pay and what my liverys istuation was-i.e if I could retire her myself or didn't have the land.
Was owner suggesting a price?
 
I agree with what SusieT is saying. If you could keep her on after retirement, as a companion or light hack for example then why not buy? I recently bought a 17 yo, then again we have the space for her to have a home for life and I always have at least 2 on the go as I have them at home so need company.

I wouldn't necessarily let age rule her out but then again if the loan suits then continue.
 
Hi all, thanks for the advice, I have taken it all on board and am re-considering.

Basically, the owner just said (in a text) 'would you like to buy her', and I replied in kind explaining why I didn't think it would be possible. I'll see him Monday so will be able to talk properly then. He didn't mention a price, I get the feeling that he is having some money troubles so I'm not sure if the price would be nominal (which, since I'm currently saving for a house deposit would add something else to consider...)

You're right Polosmum - loaning is very different to owning in terms of checking if you can do something etc. However, we currently keep our horses on the same yard (DIY) and this is the yard that the mare has been on since she was 5, (she was his horse when he was a young teenager/child) and I really wouldn't want to move her - it's all she knows - so I'd still feel a little like I was loaning! The other side of the coin would be the support and help that I would get as a first time owner.

She is on livery and my job means I pay to have jobs done occasionally, so having two when she comes to retirement would be possible, but expensive.

The owner loves her very very much and I know he wouldn't sell her on lightly, and she is very healthy - no current health issues at all.
 
I don't think you're being a cow, I completely understand your reluctance. The only thing I would say is that my mare belonged to me, looking at your join date you probably don't know what happened but I'd owned her for 11 years, she was 17 and at the begining of the season as fit, healthy and well schooled as she had ever been. Then suddenly everything changed, she started to lose weight, I wormed her... Nothing, the weight continued to drop off, the vets were called, and over the weeks many tests and medication trials were run, the long and short of it is that it was terminal and she was PTS in June last year. I was devastated but one thing I felt strongly was that I was so incredibly glad that she was mine because I was the one making decisions for her and caring for her at the end. If I had a horse that had given me so much, and I loved with all my heart and the decision was to keep riding it with it owned by someone else or to own it myself, I'd buy it in a heartbeat.
 
I've got to say I'd be in there to buy her like a shot, she sounds perfect for you. My first horse (Red) was 19, far older than I'd been considering (and in fact I didn't know he was that old when I bought him). He went on to 29, still hacking out. My only regret was that I didn't have him for longer. I've had 2 others since then, much younger. One had to be PTS after only 2 years, at just 10 yo, so don't think just because you've got a younger horse that you've got years with them. The other one I've got now, and I love him to bits but he's not Red, if I could have him back I'd give G up without hesitation.
 
I think I need to talk to the owner properly and find out things like how much he wants to sell for etc. If it is a large amount I probably couldn't justify it. After all, horses are a luxury...a house is kind of essential.

She's been really good tonight and actually consented to about half a circuit in walk in something approaching an outline...it only took about 40 minutes to get there...she must know what's going on! ;)

Next question...I enjoy dressage and schooling properly, however I'm not really capable of improving a horse without instruction (very clear instruction!) This girl's preferred way of going is head up, plough round on forehand as fast as possible. I have attempted to improve her, she will consent to drop her head when standing. This has taken a year.

With the help of a good instructor, can she be improved? I seriously doubt she has ever used her back/worked correctly in her flatwork EVER, and it's all a bit alien to her. I'm not expecting Valegro, but would like to school and know that actually we were working towards something, and she was working correctly.
 
Any horse can be improved with correct training.
Get a good instructor, maybe one specialising in dressage.
Look in to lunging techniques, using a pessoa or similar, pole work etc plus maybe a physio visit to ensure she can comfortably stretch.
Plus obviously tack, teeth, bit etc and all help.
 
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