Dilemma!

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abitgreen

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OK, so here's the Dilemma....

Have been looking for a pony/horse for my daughter (primarily) she is 8 years old - a BIG 8 year old and always growing at stupid rate.

We've considered loaning, but haven't found anything suitable and I think she'd out grow most things quite quickly, and TBH I'd rather buy and have something that will last her.

She rode a 4 year old the other day, but he was just too small for her.

So, last night we went to see a 3 year old that is ready for breaking, lovely little chap, very placid and laid back. He has been lunged with tack but no-one has actually sat on him yet. He's about 14.1 to make about 15.1/15.2, so he'll grow with her.

She's perfectly aware that she won't be able to ride him until we've finished backing him and he's safe (ish), but she can help us with the backing (where possible) and do some of the groundwork (supervised obvisouly).

I'm sort of thinking that her having to do a period of time with just the care and groundwork side of things (plus leading him around etc) will help her build a bond with him before she gets to ride him.

He's a Cob X NF btw, but more NF than Cob by looks of him. He seems very willing and has lovely kind eyes.

Oh I don't know......some people are saying don't bother keep looking, others are saying go for it.

Your thoughts?:confused:
 
abitgreen said:
OK, so here's the Dilemma....

Have been looking for a pony/horse for my daughter (primarily) she is 8 years old - a BIG 8 year old and always growing at stupid rate.

We've considered loaning, but haven't found anything suitable and I think she'd out grow most things quite quickly, and TBH I'd rather buy and have something that will last her.

She rode a 4 year old the other day, but he was just too small for her.

So, last night we went to see a 3 year old that is ready for breaking, lovely little chap, very placid and laid back. He has been lunged with tack but no-one has actually sat on him yet. He's about 14.1 to make about 15.1/15.2, so he'll grow with her.

She's perfectly aware that she won't be able to ride him until we've finished backing him and he's safe (ish), but she can help us with the backing (where possible) and do some of the groundwork (supervised obvisouly).

I'm sort of thinking that her having to do a period of time with just the care and groundwork side of things (plus leading him around etc) will help her build a bond with him before she gets to ride him.

He's a Cob X NF btw, but more NF than Cob by looks of him. He seems very willing and has lovely kind eyes.

Oh I don't know......some people are saying don't bother keep looking, others are saying go for it.

Your thoughts?:confused:
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I can't really give any advice as to the breaking etc, or if it's a good idea or not. But I bought my boy at 3 years old and he was 14.3hh. He was expected to reach 15.2hh, but stopped growing at 15hh! (which is ok for me)

So just a causion in case he doesn't reach the tallest height adn only grows an inch or 2, would he be big enough??
 
Personal opinion is no, don't do it. You could put the childs confidence at risk with something so young & possibly ruin a young horse. A more worldly horse is the thing, been round the block a few times..
 
POLLDARK said:
You could put the childs confidence at risk with something so young & possibly ruin a young horse.
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I'm not worried about ruining the horse, partner has been involved in backing before and we've got several people around us that have much experience.

As for daughters confidence, she laughs if something bucks with her, and she's fallen from 3 in the last 6 months: a 14hh on landing a jump, 16h in trot and a 13.3 when it dropped the anchors on her. It knocked her confidence for the 10 seconds until she got back on and carried on....
 
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Agreed with above, it has the making for a disaster. Obviously not what you want to hear at present but there’s plenty more suitable horses out there for your daughter.
 
Your daughter is very young to take on making a pony, you want something for her to stay with for some years but as her ambition and ability grows is she going to have to spend her time correcting what she originally taught the pony because she was too young to know different?


I have a friend with an 11yo who is in this position. Mum, however, has as many qualifications and as much experience both teaching people to ride and breaking horses as you could hope to find. Again the pony has a very good temperament, I just think there will be a lot of tears before bedtime.

I've also twice tried my own daughter with newly backed ponies, she was way out of her comfortzone, perfectly confident with them on the ground just not happy riding them, if your daughter hasn't ridden anything big and utterly green before it might be worth your while finding one she could try. My daughter continually felt that she might do something to ruin the pony, she wasn't scared to ride them as such.
 
jemima I totally understand what you are saying, however (and my mistake, I dont think I made it clear in my OP) my partner will be doing 99% of the 'work' my daughter (when able) will kind of follow on behind what my partner has already done (if that makes sense)
 
I would think you would be better getting something older with more experience that your daughter could learn from, have fun and enjoy and when she’s older then look into getting a youngster when she will have more experience and will able to enjoy it. I’m 22 have ridden since i was 6 and only now have a youngster, the falls, tantrums and heartache will probably be too much for an 8yr old. Sorry to say! :(
 
I don't think it is a good idea - I'm no expert - just giving my opinion.

A 3 year old will take up a lot of time - he will need to be worked with and handled consistently. An older sensible pony you can leave for a few days without riding etc and just get on and start off where you left off.

A young pony, even with a nice temperament can react in an unpredictable way to new experiences - and he might change once he is fit! If she wants to jump him can you predict now if he will be too strong for her? He isn't going to be small so will be more difficult to handle for her if he does spook etc.

Will your expert friends always be around to offer help and advice?

I've been riding 25 years and wouldn't consider myself experienced enough to take on a horse to back! I'm not trying to be too negative - just realistic! There are lots of reliable ponies around 14.2hh for sale as owners are progressing to horses!
 
It would be very unusual, though not totally impossible, for a 3 yo to grow 5 inches from 14.1 to 15.2hh.

There are so many small horses and ponies for sale at low prices at the moment, I would suggest just moving on and finding another which has at least some experience.

Expecting an 8yo child to help in the backing process might be a bit optimistic and possibly dangerous.
 
I appreciate the opinions and what's not making this any easier is the fact that various assosciates are saying 'do it' - to be fair to them (no offence to anyone obviously) they know us.
 
abitgreen said:
jemima I totally understand what you are saying, however (and my mistake, I dont think I made it clear in my OP) my partner will be doing 99% of the 'work' my daughter (when able) will kind of follow on behind what my partner has already done (if that makes sense)
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Fair enough, so what is your daughter going to do for a pony for the next couple of years then?

Basically the more answers you get the more confusing it's going to be. IF pony is going to be a superstar moneyspinner whether your daughter rides it as her main ride or not then why got get it for your partner to sort and with the aim of recouping all the costs and keep on looking for something immediately suitable for your daughter in the meantime?
 
I think it really depends how confident your daughter is. I had a 4 yr old new forest pony that had just been broken (by older teenages on the yard) when i was 7, she didnt really know how to pick her feet up without breaking many leadropes and would get excited in fields and buck me off but i never lost my confidence and would get straight back on. I managed to teach her to jump and we got to 3ft :)
But it depends on your daughter and how put off she is, it was a good learning curve for me but potentially you might lose all her confidence. Its really up to you as her mum.
 
Cluck said:
It would be very unusual, though not totally impossible, for a 3 yo to grow 5 inches from 14.1 to 15.2hh.

There are so many small horses and ponies for sale at low prices at the moment, I would suggest just moving on and finding another which has at least some experience.

Expecting an 8yo child to help in the backing process might be a bit optimistic and possibly dangerous.
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I agree with this, another inch or two maybe but not 5.
 
I wouldn't do it.

Even a newly backed 15.2 is not suitable for an 8 year old IMO.

Good luck whatever you decide. :)
 
Will your daughter not miss out hugely having a pony she can long rein, but not take to pony club camp for the next few years?

My opinion is youngsters and kids do not really mix well- kids tend to get fed up with all the ground work- they just wanna ride- who can blame em. Last one i saw, was an older kid who had a 3 year old, got bored not being able to gallop and jump halfway through the breaking in process and gave up horses completely, which was a shame.

Out growing ponies is part of horseyness, buying her a 15.2 so "she doe not grow out of it" IMO is irresponsible and a bit selfish.
 
I don't think anyone is questionning the ability of you and your partner to bring on a youngster, but more the fact that your daughter will not be able to learn from a green pony. Can you not loan an experienced pony for her to gain more experience on for a year or two and then she would be in a better position to take the youngster forward?

My son took on a 4 y.o. when he was 11 after having ridden for six years on two very good experienced ponies. The 4 y.o. was as good as gold, but things did obviously freak her out now and again and whilst he coped very well, he did suffer a bit of a confidence crisis after one incident. It was something he really wanted to do, but now he is older and wiser he admits he wished he had waited a bit longer to take on his first youngster!
 
Go with your gut instinct. If you think its the right thing to do then go for it. Like you say no one on here really knows you. All they can see is "8yr old rider and a 3yr old horse" on paper doesn't sound good but then again they've never met the horse and rider. From the sounds of things if the horse is a cob x its not like its going to be a flighty TB or Warmblood type! Some younger horses can be easier than older ones. I always think its not the age/breed/height that can be an issue, its the individual horse.
 
abitgreen said:
I appreciate the opinions and what's not making this any easier is the fact that various assosciates are saying 'do it' - to be fair to them (no offence to anyone obviously) they know us.
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If they know you then why ask on here??
Sounds like a big risk to me as there is no way of really knowing at this stage whether this horse will be suitable for your daughter and why you wouldn't want to go for a horse with a bit more expereince coming from maybe a home that has been there done it with chidlren there, who are now moving onto horses, it dosen't need to old old maybe a 9 year old so should have plenty of life and time left in them.
 
I don't think her/ponies age important. I'm sure she'll be fine BUT if you want her to progress to (for example) PC teams etc then she would be far better with a well schooled pony where she could develop security (not hanging on for dear life) of seat and a good style of riding. She's going to miss out on an awful lot of fun with this pony whilst her friends are whizzing around interbranches etc. This I know cos my parents did exactly what you are contemplating.
 
abitgreen said:
I appreciate the opinions and what's not making this any easier is the fact that various assosciates are saying 'do it' - to be fair to them (no offence to anyone obviously) they know us.
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If you value their opinion of those 'associates' more than those on here, why did you post asking for opinions? You seem to have an answer for everyone's opinion on here and already seem set in the fact that you are getting the pony....I don't get it?

It sounds a bit of a 'asking for trouble' type of situation but without knowing both it's hard to say. I personally wouldn't do it but then that's only my personal opinion. I had a yearling at the age of 14 and still have him now but it hasn't all been easy along the way - many a day i'd end up in tears telling my mum to sell him as I didn't like the responsibility and thinking that I would ruin him. (He is now an *almost* perfect lad who is my soulmate!). I have however really missed out on PC and such like as I had to wait for him to grow up.

At the end of the day, it's most likely that you will do what you think is best anyway, so go with that and see how things go.
 
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We did exactly this when my daughter was 8yrs old with great success (youngster that was saved from meat man due to it having serious trust issues) HOWEVER, she had my friend (instructor with years of experience of breaking & schooling) with her at every step & she had another old pony at the same time so she could still do pc etc. & the young pony was only 12.1hh.

If she had nothing else to ride I know she would have lost interest as its a long haul. Falling off 3 times in 6 months doesn't mean your child is confident, they need to be able to deal with problems that get thrown at them. If she gets thrown off everytime she rides the confidence will soon disappear - I'm not saying this is going to happen, just a scenario!!
It does seem a little like you ask for opinions but don't really want them unless they agree with you! Sorry if that sounds harsh!!! The daughter may be big but 14hh (or whatever height you said - I can't flick back while writing!) is still pretty big for an 8yr old - my friends 5'8" 12yr old got a 16hh & yes she for it height wise but was no where near experienced enough for that size & ended up having to downsize.

Personally if it was me & I had my heart set on this pony (as it sounds like you have) get an older, more experienced one too, so she can still improve her riding skills while the youngster is being worked on. xx
 
I think your child will miss out on a lot of the fun kids that age can have at camps and shows. When I was her age I was constantly off with my friends galloping round and messing on our ponies.

Why not let her be a kid and get a pony she can enjoy and relax on?

I don't see the benefit in showing her how to train the horse. She's 8 - she won't have the patience, consistency or concentration to take it all in. She'l just be watching someone else do it.

Your main argument seems to be that they will bond during the groundwork. Can she not do groundwork with an older, experienced pony? To be honest, they are more likely to bond as they enjoy each other in different experiences and outings. And sure a pony who's been around the block a bit is a better partner and confidence giver?

The point about your kid falling off and being confident still is a bit random. There's a big difference between taking a tip the odd time, or generally getting tense as a rider because you anticipate a young horse reacting to new circumstances.

The main thing that would bother me about it is that it takes away a lot of the childs personal time with the pony. My parents never interferred with my pony as he was a suitable match. If I was her age I would be super excited to get the pony of course. But then i'd resent relying on parents all the time when i interact with it. 8 year olds should be on ponys they can relax and enjoy themselves.
 
I bought a yearling Sec A when my daughter was born with the intention of sending him away to be backed etc and then having him back. My daughter has grown up with this pony, he dotes on her but he does, even now, have very green moments with her. However, they have been a very succesful partnership, winning many rosettes and taking her on her first days hunting etc. I made the age old mistake of rushing things a little bit but if you are nice and patient and get that it might take a few years before your finished article is complete then go for it. As for the other posters who bring up that your daughter will be missing out on PC activities well that is true but I am a hunt groom who has broken lots of horses, from about 8 years old, and have only started going to PC with my own daughter. It just depends if your little girl is happy with that. My only concern is that at 15 hh ish it might be a bit big for her? But you obviously know your daughter and she may well be fine on such a height! Good luck!
 
if you daughter wants to have fun, buy or loan an established pony that she can do pc on, camps, show jumping, xc, fun rides and have FUN with. She will learn a lot and improve a lot. the young pony may not turn out as you hoped, will be nearly 2 yrs off doing funrides, showjumping camp etc without potential hiccups, and could possibly wreck your daughters confidence for ever. Children outgrow ponies in height and ability very quickly so what you buy now may not be what you need in 2 years time.
 
I am backing a 4 year old right now and he is still such a baby. I doubt any 8 year old would be able to read the subtleties of a young horse. I know i still make mistakes with him nut they are minor ones compared to mistakes i would have made at her age. Young horses needs absolute patience and the repetition needs to be precise or you will send mixed messages slowing their progress.

do you really trust an 8 year old to be patient an consistent enough. I wouldnt.

This is my first breaker and i am getting in help every few weeks to take us both to the next level safely and correctly. I just think its WAY too big an ask for an 8 year old.

She needs something to give her confidence not something she will have to give confidence too.

Oh and ill add that this is my first youngster and one im doing myself and i have 20 years experience including working on a stud farm.

You dont seem to want to hear the very sound advice you are being given, are you buying this pony for yourself or your daughter?
 
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