Disheartened after such a good start! :(

I can't believe how many people start shouting "not as described", "send him back" etc.

This is a horse not a machine. The same horse with a different rider or in a new environment can be a totally different animal. Lets not forget that horses are herd animals and also prey animals. They see horse eating dragons everywhere, especially with no other horses around to help keep them calm.

You have only had this horse a couple of weeks. He needs time to settle and get to know and trust you. Starting with very short hacks, leading out and riding back and getting someone to walk on the ground will all help. Build it up gradually and slowly.

I bought a very green 7 year old two years ago. To start with I couldn't do anything alone and was a big scardey pants too. Now she will happily hack alone over our private off road hacking and we are working on new road routes and made it to the local church and back today. It was very windy, there were men with vans and trailers building a big bonfire, we saw footballers, and horses being unloaded to move in down the road. She stopped a lot, jogged a bit, looked at everything and at one point I got on and off again but we made it.

Persevere, take it slowly and you will soon learn to trust each other I'm sure.
 
Could you get someone mire confident to hack him for you?? Even an instructor who needs paying better to keep your confidence and the horse to be ridden strongly before the problem does esculate.
 
Well done on today, especially considering the weather conditions!

If it is any consolation when I bought my last horse, he was a nightmare to hack out alone and scared the life out of me. However I forced myself to hack him out every day, for the first few weeks not even going out of walk. After a couple of months I realised that he wasn't going to kill me and could anticipate any bad behaviour and ride him through it before it became a drama.

4 yrs on I trust him with my life - yes he does still have silly moments, but those make me laugh now!

Just keep going......
 
I'd say hack him in company and get a brave rider to hack him alone for you. He will likely be fine and its just a teething problem not really him but won't do any harm to tackle it that way.
 
Mine was fine to hack at previous owners on his own as it was just him, 2 rams and a hunter that wasn't there very much. He then came to me and I moved him on to a livery yard - so new place and new owner and he lost his confidence out hacking on his own quite quickly, and I think he lost his confidence in me too - new partnerships can take a while to bond/cement. He was 7-8. Every horse is different how they react to a move, his previous owner was giving me lessons after the move so saw us regularly (I'd hacked him out on his own several times near her before he came to me) and she was really surprised how unsure he was and so for a while I did have to hack out with others to build up his confidence on all the many rides in our area and it really helped. Then I was able to ask him to go out again on his own and he was fine. After 9 years we've just moved to a new yard and I'm doing a combination of solo rides and going out with others. And definitely again he's a bit unsure out of his own but we're a team now after all this time so I just give him lots of praise and don't put up with any nonsense. Give him a chance, 2 weeks is nothing in terms of changes for a horse :) though you have to make sure you are safe.
 
Sologirl said:
Yep the old owner is aware of the problem - he was sold as a horse that had been used for pretty much nothing but hacking so I would have thought he would have been much better than he was. I would have easily forgiven a bit of the jitters or more "looky" than usual, but it was more than this. I just want to enjoy him, not fight the whole way along a ride - and I don't have unlimited time to work with a horse that needs improvement like this that I wasn't expecting! It's so sad, he's wonderful otherwise - in the school (which is where I'd expected a young horse with little schooling experience to misbehave), in the stable, comes to be caught, and stood like a lamb to be clipped. I'm just at a loss - I was hoping to get out hacking a lot (both with others and by ourselves) over the winter and then hopefully do a few common rides when the season starts up again - but now my faith in him and my own ability is shaken! :(
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I would ride in company as much as possible, with your horse in the lead, so that YOU learn that he won't react to traffic/wheelie-bins/leaves etc. At times when there is no-one to go out with you' lead him in-hand, with all the tack on, you should see that he passes all the tricky spots without a fuss, so then you can get on and ride him back to the yard when you are both relaxed and build on this. Try not to put too much pressure on yourself, if you don't manage to go on the common rides next year, there will be other opportunities in the future. Good luck!
 
If you can find a friend that will do the same route with you every day for a week or two, do that. Try alternating who is in the lead. Once the ride becomes incredibly dull for you and all sights familiar. Try taking him alone. If you can get a friend to meet you on the way round all the better. Don't rush things. It takes a while to build up mutual trust. Don't attempt to hack alone if your heart is not in it. Wait till you're having a 'brave day!'
 
Well, he didn't dump you, this is good.

I have a pathological hatred for adverts with a big 'L' on them or 'same home for ten years, absolutely bombproof' or 'homebred with impeccable manners'. Behaviour is down to rider, handler, environment or discomfort. These are living sentient beings and so are you.

He is young and obviously green. Regarding the farrier; can you handle this horse's feet easily?

If the previous caring owner is willing to come over and ride him out for you I would start there.
 
I just keep swinging to and fro from "send him back, he's not what you want" and "keep at him, he'll come good with time"

Yes he's fine with his feet being handled, picked out etc. I just don't know how much time to give him before making the ultimate decision - I admit I'm in no place to be sorting out issues, I just wanted to get on and go. Maybe I'm just living in a dream world and want what doesn't exist- and should have gone for something older and more experienced...I just thought that with the right nature and attitude, a younger horse would be fine as long as he was inherently a laid back sort. Sigh.
 
Fellewell said:
If the previous caring owner is willing to come over and ride him out for you I would start there.
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Previous actual owner is in Ireland and the seller doesn't ride any more :( I'm going to see what my instructor can do in our lesson on Weds - she has offered to hack him out and see whether he's genuinely scared or trying it on. x
 
hayinamanger said:
OP, just to add. I would reduce any feed this horse is getting to a maintenance ration.
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This. And cut out all unnecessary sugar.

I have been where you are . . . it's not nice . . . but I agree with those who say go out in company for a bit, walk him out in hand, long-rein him (NOT on roads) . . . basically allow time for the trust between the two of you to grow and build and then try a combination of walking out in hand and riding (or have someone walk out with you on foot and just drop back for a bit so you can push on alone for a safe distance).

Best of luck - with the right support around you, you WILL get past this :).

P
 
Sologirl said:
I just keep swinging to and fro from "send him back, he's not what you want" and "keep at him, he'll come good with time"

Yes he's fine with his feet being handled, picked out etc. I just don't know how much time to give him before making the ultimate decision - I admit I'm in no place to be sorting out issues, I just wanted to get on and go. Maybe I'm just living in a dream world and want what doesn't exist- and should have gone for something older and more experienced...I just thought that with the right nature and attitude, a younger horse would be fine as long as he was inherently a laid back sort. Sigh.
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Do you have access to a good instructor?
 
Sologirl said:
Previous actual owner is in Ireland and the seller doesn't ride any more :( I'm going to see what my instructor can do in our lesson on Weds - she has offered to hack him out and see whether he's genuinely scared or trying it on. x
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Sounds like a plan. Or maybe you could hack him out after your lesson? Short circular route, good old stretch on the way home? Be guided by your instructor. Best of luck.
 
Sologirl said:
I just keep swinging to and fro from "send him back, he's not what you want" and "keep at him, he'll come good with time"

Yes he's fine with his feet being handled, picked out etc. I just don't know how much time to give him before making the ultimate decision - I admit I'm in no place to be sorting out issues, I just wanted to get on and go. Maybe I'm just living in a dream world and want what doesn't exist- and should have gone for something older and more experienced...I just thought that with the right nature and attitude, a younger horse would be fine as long as he was inherently a laid back sort. Sigh.
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Obviously I'm in no position to judge whether you have the necessary experience to bring on your horse, but I will say definitely think long and hard before making a decision. As you probably saw from my confidence thread at the weekend I too found myself the owner of a horse that was much greener than I expected. At the time my confidence was at an all time low and I honestly didn't believe I was capable of bringing my boy on, but slowly but surely we've found our way and whilst he's certainly not a conventional confidence giver, I have to admit I've gained so much more confidence from working with him and watching him flourish.

I'm not saying it's an easy path, but the thing that stopped me sending H back was that in the back of my head I kept thinking "what if the next horse is just as bad or even worse" and in your case I think it's completely normal to have teething issues in the first couple of weeks and that there's very few horses I've met that take the big changes like new owner and home in their stride. Ultimately you'll know deep down whether you have the strength and ability to overcome this and in the meantime I'm here if you need to talk.

It honestly is the most rewarding experience once you start overcoming those hurdles and I've been really lucky to have such awesome people around me to offer support and believe in me when I've needed it. If you're near to me I'd happily come and walk out with you if it would help.
 
Before you decide to "send him back", I'd speak to an equestrian solicitor and actually check if you have a legal right to do this... if the seller is private, you may find that you don't...
 
IIWY, I'd hack him out yourself in company and get your instructor to hack him alone a couple of times. If those happen without mass drama, I think stick with the horse and consider you hacking him alone something to work towards - there's always something a bit disappointing or at least that needs work with a new horse, none of them are perfect or operate like clockwork.

If he's a PITA in company or won't go out without much fuss for your instructor, IIWY I'd do what you can to send him back. There's meeting a few challenges and then there's buying something that's just too far from what you should have to be prepared to work with.

I hope he works out for you, it doesn't sound like a disastrous mistake to me at all.
 
The seller isn't private - she offered me a replacement but warned me that older, experienced horses to look after a nervous rider are hard to come by - I just feel like my own judgement in what I thought is a nice safe horse has been shaken so if I was going to give him back I'd rather have a refund - but don't fancy the battle that would no doubt accompany that!!

That's the sad thing Flame, I fully expected teething troubles of some sort or other, but hacking alone is the ONE thing I wanted my horse to be reasonably safe for from the start, as it's the thing i'd be doing the most of and got a lot of enjoyment from. School work I can take or leave, I'd rather he'd been terrible at that!! I'll see what he's like on Wednesday with my instructor - and then make the decision. His behaviour on the road just shook me - he was in company (a very steady 19 year old pony) and yet still wasn't happy, cantering on the spot when a car with a bike on its roofrack went by and very het up the whole time.
 
Could he just be testing you? would explain why he was a bit better when you adopted a stronger attitude today

When I was a rider as a teen I dont think I ever rode a horse that didnt try to test my resolve after a period of being sweet and willing, depending on the level of my cackhandedness with the situation the relationship was established once the boundaries had been set and horse and rider knew where they stood - more often than not these encounters went my way but there were a couple that didnt!

Suitable for novices and a genuine saint of a schoolmaster are very different and its not unusual for a horse to test the boundaries especially if they sense weakness!
 
I suspect this pony has come over from Ireland having not done very much. Been hammered around for a couple of weeks to the have the edges knocked off it - and then put up for sale.
 
amymay said:
I suspect this pony has come over from Ireland having not done very much. Been hammered around for a couple of weeks to the have the edges knocked off it - and then put up for sale.
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Sologirl said:
:-( Oh dear.
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Bear in mind that none of us have seen or met your horse so AmyMay's suggestion is merely that. My boy was like yours when I first started hacking him out alone. In his case this was because he was broken late, was incredibly green and was looking to me for his confidence, the kicker being that his spookiness was making me even more nervous thus a vicious cycle ensued. I think your doing the right thing by speaking to your instructor as they will be best placed to advise based on your experience and the horse they see in front of them.
 
GG2B said:
Bear in mind that none of us have seen or met your horse so AmyMay's suggestion is merely that.

I think your doing the right thing by speaking to your instructor as they will be best placed to advise based on your experience and the horse they see in front of them.
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I absolutely agree on all points.
 
I think two weeks is too short a period of time for a horse to settle and you are perhaps being too hard on yourself - its an awful lot for an animal to take in, new place, new owner, new routine and new hacks. I completely appreciate you just want to get on and hack but i echo a lot of what has been said on here - try to help him settle by walking him in hand on your hacking route first, once comfortable with that get on and ride with company (someone on foot if an equine friend isnt available) and then when you are comfortable go solo. There is also absolutely no shame in getting someone more confident to ride him out a few times.

I am in a similar position with mine in that my young mare (she's only 5) had a period of bronking 4ish months ago (more or less as soon as i got on), which destroyed my confidence (as well as bashing me about a bit). We are now hacking 30 minutes with company on foot and i am also hacking back from schooling sessions 5/10 minutes up the road alone. In the next week or so i am determined to get extra brave and go out alone (not least as my OH is getting bored of walking the horse!) - just the usual route to start and then venture further. When i got her 10 months ago we would hack all over the place without a problem - so i know how you feel! I have genuinely found that by going back to the basics of walking her, lunging etc, I have got to know her a lot better - she is young and stubborn and tests boundaries all the time but i now know how to handle it (most of the time!).
 
I had the exact same scenario with my boy, only about 2 months after I got him. All was going swimmingly until on one hack he span round, reared and was generally full of attitude. I just didn't have the confidence to get through the situation being a nervous wreck already so I saved up and sent him off to a friend for 3 weeks who has great facilities and braver pants. Since he came back I have treated it as a blank canvas and we are taking baby steps building up our trust in each other and my confidence.

Yesterday I hacked to meet a friend 10 minutes away ON MY OWN. It might not seem much to some but I may as well have climbed Everest! And what got me through? Singing, yabbering on, waffling about anything and everything and relaxing my bottom muscles at every possible opportunity!

You WILL get through this, it is just a blip - try and find someone whose opinion you trust and who gives you confidence and just take it one baby step at a time. xx
 
Foxy girl said:
I had the exact same scenario with my boy, only about 2 months after I got him. All was going swimmingly until on one hack he span round, reared and was generally full of attitude. I just didn't have the confidence to get through the situation being a nervous wreck already so I saved up and sent him off to a friend for 3 weeks who has great facilities and braver pants. Since he came back I have treated it as a blank canvas and we are taking baby steps building up our trust in each other and my confidence.

Yesterday I hacked to meet a friend 10 minutes away ON MY OWN. It might not seem much to some but I may as well have climbed Everest! And what got me through? Singing, yabbering on, waffling about anything and everything and relaxing my bottom muscles at every possible opportunity!

You WILL get through this, it is just a blip - try and find someone whose opinion you trust and who gives you confidence and just take it one baby step at a time. xx
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I do that - yabber and sing! It does help even if the neighbours think i'm mental!
 
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