Disheartening lesson long..........sorry

Baileysno1

Baileysno1

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Took Ryu to our local competiton venue for a jumping lesson last night, jumping isn't really my thing but we have a go. He was stuffy as usual and not very forward but he is improving and i was pleased with his warm up. Anyway we started with a small cross with a placing pole, fine cantered away on the correct leg, then the instructor added a placing pole each side of the fence, fine was even moving on a bit better, then a she added a another fence, stopped intially but circled and jumped the combination well. The other 2 horses there were the exact opposite of Ryu and if anything had braking issues so I think all the extra poles were 'speed bumps' for the other 2 but I think Ryu handled it well. The second fence then became a big spread and we jumped through the combination a couple of times I could feel he was making a better shape.

Anyway we had a walking break and the clanger was 2 uprights on a big circle - we were instructed to circle twice incorporating both jumps, eek I struggle to get him to maintain canter for a cicle never mind one including two fences. Anyway we got around I was so pleased! Ryu was puffing and clearly tiring.

So the other 2 went on the right rein and it was me to go, there was simply no gas left in Ryus tank he was totally dead and he stopped. The instructor went mad and told me to yank him and make it uncomfortable for him to stop anyway he stopped again, I asked if I could approach in trot and made it over, he stopped again at the second jump, I was tired he was tired and the whole thing was deteriorating and becoming one of those silly battles that I dred. Anyway he stopped again and I slid in slow motion down his neck head first onto the upright, nice. I did get him over then had the ordeal of the instructor lecturing me about being disciplined and using reward and punishment. Then she said she'd seen him ridden by my dressage trainer and she'd seen how well he can go, and it just made me feel awful, after my fall a few weeks ago I really need a boost, I just feel now as though I'm not doing my beautiful talented horse justice, because of my confidence / ability issues. All I can think about is what other peole are thinking, nice horse - crap rider. Does anyone else ever feel this way?
 
I agree with pushing your boundaries from time to time, but at the end of the day it is YOUR horse and you should be doing what YOU want with it, there is no such thing as a wasted horse if you are both doing what you enjoy.

OK maybe your horse needs to be fitter, you can work on that, and you now have a useful exercise to aim for..but don't feel bad...you gave it a good shot
 
Funnily enough I was just about to post something very similar myself - probably still will as I dont want to hijack your post. I'm feeling very down on myself today and just don't know which way to turn.
Can't offer any pearls of wisdom as being in the same boat I know exactly how you feel x
 
I'm sorry but your post has really upset me. An instructors job is not to bully you or your horse, or to leave you feeling the way you do.
A good instructor should leave you feeling encouraged even if your lesson doesn't go as well as it might.
I wouldn't bother going to that instructor again if I were you, it sounds as though you need to find someone who will help you regain your confidence after the fall and actually give you some constructive criticism.
A similar thing happened to me when I took my very green youngster to a well known jumping trainer for a clinic - I actually came out halfway through and took the mare home as the trainer had mistaken Freya's greeness and inexperience for naughtiness, and not appreciated how mentally tiring the gridwork was for a very novice horse.
Hope you have a better ride today x
PS I am sure that NOBODY is thinking nice horse, crap rider - be confident!
 
Feel that way very often .Chin up .At least you are having lessons.Do you enjoy jumping you don't have to jump. Don't feel pressured by anyone else. Find a more understanding instructor[jumping on a cirle is difficult to maintain]Never mind if the horse is more talented than you he is not bothered if he wins or loses.He wants food, company and care. Give him that, don't be too soft with him and if you don't have the confidence get another rider to sort him out but be careful that you trust their ability and temper.Use grids as they will keep the distances correct.Try not to get in front of the movement and keep to a height you are comfortable with. If its a young horse definately get a confident rider to school him
 
Take no notice. You need a good instructor that will push your boundaries, and encourage you. I'm sure your not crap. Unfortunately there are some people out there that are good at making people feel crap.
 
We all feel like this at times - one of my lads has a lovely jump in him and with other rider was popping good sized jumps, but i can't jump him, i just don't enjoy it and end up beating myself up about it and thining I am wasting him...

Don't let one lesson get you down - the instructor should never have asked you to do it if Ryu was tired and showing that he had enough - the situation you were in was brough on by bad instruction not bad horse or rider...
 
Thank you for the support, although a capeable instructor I don't think it really worked, I think as a student I preform better when positively reinforced rather than negatively - a bit like my horse! I'm going to keep on with the exercises and work on the canter, when I read my post back I realised 80% of the lesson was a sucess so I'll build on that and try to forget the end bit. I'm no Ellen Whitaker but I'm determined to get my chubby dressage / show horse round the riding club minimus!
 
I am sorry but that is bang out of order.

Calls herself an instructor eh?
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Any instructor should recognise when a combination are tiring and esp. in jumping that's when accidents can happen which can and often do dent both the rider and horses' confidences.

As previously said, her job is to encourage and inspire you, leave you wanting more. Sometimes lessons don't always go to plan and sometimes the horse, or rider for that matter, can be an ass but you should always feel like you want to come back and try again.
Of course goalposts have to be pushed further but not when horse and rider have 'had it'.
It is also totally unprofessional to say that 'she'd seen your dressage instructor ride him and how much better he went'. He probably did, that's why you go to her for lessons, it doesn't mean that you are a crap rider or that your horse loves you any less.

As for punishing him by 'yanking' him, words fail me...........I'm fuming!
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Try someone else and learn to enjoy yourselves again!
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I agree, don't use that instructor again, its amazing the difference it'll make if you get a sympathetic one, don't give up, if you are determined, you will get your horse jumping how YOU want. Ultimately you know him and what makes him tick, just building slowly on that, along with your confidence, do all cross poles and poles for a whole lesson if you want. Please try not and take to heart to much what other people say, your life, your horse, do what you want and enjoy it!
 
Echo the others about the instructor!, way out of order

I dont thik it is a case of: good horse-crap rider, it sounds more like : Good horse - good rider - crap instructor!
 
Please try not to get too disheartened. I've been in a similar situation to you with my current instructor. Pidge is very sharp and sensitive and she was getting me to actually kick him (I was lucky to come out of it alive!) and we had a horrendous lesson where I drove home in tears and my arms were nearlly torn out their sockets from him pulling, ok slight exagerration but you get the idea
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Well after posting on here and asking advice I had a word with her next lesson and we have now taken it down a pace or two and no more tanking, pulling etc and I am really enjoying the lessons now. I think it was a case of her not quite understanding how Pidge ticks. Was it the first time you had had a lesson with this instructor? I would either give it one more go but explain to instructor how your horse ticks, but IMO from how she was with you I would be tempted to swap instructor entirely. You are paying for this and do need to come away feeling this way. Hope this helps
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sounds like you need a new instructor, all horses and riders are different and you need someone that brings out the best in both of you. They should be able to spot when you are both getting tired and encourage you not leave you feeling deflated. Everyone has bad lessons from time to time. keep smiling and don't let it put you off
 
Poor you - yes, i am in that situation and it makes me wonder about selling my horse to a better rider - sometimes after my lessons i am v disheartened after being told that i am obviously handicapped with the way i ride
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Perhaps reading the answers to yr plight is enough to m ake me get off my bum and look for a new trainer! Thanks!
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And to think we ride for pleasure and pay our instructors for CONSTRUCTIVE criticism not DESTRUCTIVE and ruination of self esteem.
 
Your instructor sounds very mean and completely unprofessional.
Feedback is supposed to be constructive, if used wrongly it can completely demotivate, as is the case here!

I wouldn't pay someone who's going to discourage me, they are supposed to inspire and help!
Please don't feel bad, we have all been there. All you need are some positive times to give you a boost
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Firstly, your instructor sounds like a complete toss pot! Find someone more sympathetic as everyone else has said.

It's hard with a green horse - is there someone you can trust to train him up a bit and build his confidence? That way you won't be transmitting so much fear and him picking up on it. I had exactly the same thing last night - couldn't get my 16hh TB over a 6" crosspole - I kid you not! I used to love jumping but remembered that when I was jumping my old horse, he'd been 'trained' by another girl beforehand who was more experienced and didn't care.

Some people may think this is a cop out, but in order to get confidence, it helps if your horse knows a little bit about what it's about.

Chin up though hun.... x
 
Hi, god don't sell your horse, experiment with trainers, I have a great friend who comes weekly to teach me at the yard and shes fab she knows my horses and my own limits and when to push and when to leave off, unfortunately jumping isn't her forte hence me going out last night with Ryu. I attended some outdoor jumping clinics through the summer with the riding club and the trainer was amazing she was super happy and positive a bit like a kids TV presenter before I'd realised we'd jumped a substansial course in canter and I came away with a big buzz. Shop around its worth it, after last night I certainly am!
 
I wouldn't go to that instructor again, as if a rider can feel their horse is tired, they're usually right!
She should have lowered the fence or finished there.
It's amazing how little energy horses can have on a jumping lesson, our 4 year old will happily do a flatwork lesson with a few breaks for threequarters of an hour, ask her to jump and she is knackered after 20 mins. We are working on her fitness by hacking but if we felt she had done enough, as we are paying we would say so and stop.
I would put this behind you and yes, work on his fitness, but change instructors, this one hasn't enough insight ..
 
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