Disillusioned and not sure what to do...

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Mildred

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I am sorry for posting this tripe, but I dont have anyone to talk to about the way I feel - Im sure this will sound like horrid, whingeing, self centred drivel. I have a lovely horse. She can irritate the pants off me sometimes, but really she is a super horse who I have had lots of fun with in the time I have had her. Im not sure if it's the time of year, and the fact that Nov and Dec were written off because of snow and ice, or that I havent been hunting, or competing since god knows when, but Im starting to wonder why I bother.

I saved for 2 years to buy a trailer, but had to spend the trailer money the other week on materials for our house renovation, which obviously comes first and I felt guilty for sitting on all that money. So I am reliant on my yard owner for transport, and whilst she is always very generous, I dont tend to go to too many competitions with her as she prefers eventing (I like sj and dressage) and not much time. Nobody else on my yard really goes anywhere much so sharing transport is difficult and very expensive. I hack my horse out, but am not particularly happy just hacking for hacking's sake. I have lessons, but cant see the point unless there is something to aim for.

So I suppose I am beginning to wonder why I spend in excess of £200 a month for what feels like very little return. Im just at a loss as to what to do to make things better.

Sorry for the whinge - but it does feel nice to write it all down! :)
 
If you had a like minded friend with a trailer to enjoy your horse would you still feel the same? if the answer is yes you need a break from horses, have you felt like this for a while {or is it just the bad weather getting you down} Good luck.
 
If you can'ty enjoy your horse just because she is a horse then maybe sell her to someone who appreciates her more and isn't 'irritated' by her.
 
Ladyinred said:
If you can'ty enjoy your horse just because she is a horse then maybe sell her to someone who appreciates her more and isn't 'irritated' by her.
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I knew Id get a response like that! I dont think I mentioned that I didnt appreciate her, more that I am not too sure what to do to change the way I currently feel.
 
if you can't get out with your horse as much as you'd like then why not try doing some inter dressage (i think that's the one!), it's where you do your test at home and film it, send the video to somewhere and professional 'judges' mark your test. you still have to pay but you don't have the stress of finding a lift etc.

in 5yrs of ownership i've not been able to ride or do anything much with my lad for over 2 of them years, i've had to sit and watch everyone else go for their rides and go to the beach but couldn't join them, i had to accept that i was paying good money to brush a horse (basically!) but i loved it, just spending time with my horse made me feel better about everyday problems and i suppose made me appreciate him even more.

why don't you try and arrange a trip to the beach with someone else?
 
Beach trip is a good idea, I could probably get a couple of takers as it isn't a competitive event! Im sure Ill feel better once the evenings are lighter again - it's just an unfamiliar feeling, I have had horses for just over 30 years, since I was tiny, and have never felt like this before. Then again I've never had 2 months unable to ride before either. :)
 
Any local enough Riding Clubs?

Put up a Wanted ad in local tack shops, asking for someone to hack with? It's not 'desperate', loads of people are in the same boat :) :)

Is hiring a trailer a possibility? I know it's not the cheap option, but maybe do it once a month.
 
Yes Im a RC member, but have failed dismally to find a transport sharer (it does happen occasionally but because I hate xc with a passion, it isn't often that there is a competition that two of us want to do.)

I have people to hack out with, and am happy to hack out alone but it's not 'enough' if you know what I mean - I like to have a competitive goal to work towards. An advert in the rc newsletter for transport share might be the way forward :)
 
I quite often think, 'what the hell am i doing' when im down the stables 5.45 am in the morning in the snow and ice & ive never got any spare cash etc. I think we all think like this at some point. Winter is always a bad time for horse ownership as well. However I couldnt give up my horse because of any of this. I can understand that you want to get to competitions but this is not everything. Im lucky enough to have transport and my horse goes out nearly every weekend. However I still enjoy the looking after of the horse, hacking, lungeing and all alspects of keeping the horse including the social side for me. I think you are just on a downer at the moment. Im sure things will get better and you can start saving for your transport just as soon as you can. Think what you will be missing if you sold your horsie annd summer is not that far away. good luck
 
why don't you move to a yard that has events and dressage etc, that way you wouldn't need the transport to start with and you would have an end goal
 
Put an advert up for transport share. Obviously there'll be things you need to be careful about/check out, but it could be helping out someone else and work out well.

Given that dressage is your thing, how about putting a Wanted ad in on BD's site (if they have that sort of thing), or getting onto the BD forum and getting to know some local dressage people?
 
i'd definately do the beach trip, it's something totally different to just hacking out and it does give you a bit of a thrill. also have a look into the on line dressage thing, you get to compete (it's marked properly and your results get put on the website etc) but without the hassle of finding a trailer/lorry.
 
I know exactly what you mean. I hack and can live without competing for a while, but competing gives me something to aim for (OK and fail to achieve but so what!!) and something to work towards which makes the riding more interesting.

The interdressage and similar on line competitions is a really good idea, why not give it a go?

Is it possible to move to a yard which is also a large competition centre? That way you would get BD and BSJA on site?

Other than that, remember it's the winter blues, everyone gets them! No one has been out for ages and the snow made everyone's life difficult. Things will seem better in a month or so!
 
MrsMozart said:
Put an advert up for transport share. Obviously there'll be things you need to be careful about/check out, but it could be helping out someone else and work out well.

Given that dressage is your thing, how about putting a Wanted ad in on BD's site (if they have that sort of thing), or getting onto the BD forum and getting to know some local dressage people?
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I don't have lofty aims - rc level unaffiliated SJ and dressage are enough for me, I just need to be more proactive in finding someone to share with. I also possibly need to shut up and stop whinging. :o
 
Mildred said:
I don't have lofty aims - rc level unaffiliated SJ and dressage are enough for me, I just need to be more proactive in finding someone to share with. I also possibly need to shut up and stop whinging. :o
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Lol, join the gang hun :D :D

I've just clamied LoU on the Dizz. My superstar-to-be BS showjumper/high level dressage horse (she's bred to do both), is now a blooby expensive happy hack - nothing against happy hackers, but if that was what I wanted to do I would not have bought the DWB dingbat that is the Dizz!:eek::rolleyes::D

I'm so incredibly lucky to still have her, but I have indeed whinged more than once re. all that is now lost to us.

Ho hum.

Horses huh. Who'd have 'em :D :D :D

P.S. To get some semblance of order back in my little life, I'm going to take Dizz to Eland camp. We won't be able to jump, but it's something to aim for, a bit of fun, and something to get me and her fit for :D
 
It's the time of year. Just think of the long summer nights and fun times to be had with happy horses living out with the sun on their backs. If you've saved for a trailer once surely you can do it again? Maybe have a clear out of old tack/clothes/stuff and ebay everything! Funny really because on my yard I'm always offering lifts to stuff but no-one wants to go - all happy hackers or have their own transport. It is a bit of a pain to pick some one up to go to an event but if you offered to hack to someone who is going then they might me more inclined to say yes. Chin up anyway - it'll pass!!
 
if being able to have a trailer and hitch up and go would do the trick and give you the boost you need then somehow by hook or by crook DO IT !!!!

i have had similar situations when a "must have" item (or horse!!) has seemed unobtainable yet crucial to all future happiness~~~~or so it seems at time!!!!

more than once i have hatched a plan and gone all out to get what i want. i have sold on ebay, looked after other peoples horses,done spells of housesitting,sold all my scrap metal~~~one bit being my car!~~~will tell you the list is endless.

i would say you need a £1000 to buy a serviceable/safe trailer~~~nothing posh or up to date but an older Rice or something like.

go for it~~~~~set a time scale, work out how to get dosh and go. finally do not feel guilty!!!!
 
MrsMozart said:
Lol, join the gang hun :D :D

I've just clamied LoU on the Dizz. My superstar-to-be BS showjumper/high level dressage horse (she's bred to do both), is now a blooby expensive happy hack - nothing against happy hackers, but if that was what I wanted to do I would not have bought the DWB dingbat that is the Dizz!:eek::rolleyes::D

:D
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Hmm, mine too is bred to do slightly more than rc 90cm! She has some of the best sj breeding, but has to suffer me nonetheless.

Actually camp is quite a good idea - I did a rc one at stockland Lovell a few years ago and had a fantastic time. I guess hiring a trailer and finding someone to share costs with needn't be too difficult if I plan ahead and start looking now. If only my best friend still had a horse! :)
 
The sun will soon be out and make us all feel better!!!
Oh,and my horse irritates me,but doesnt mean i dont love her,and want rid!!!;) Also,does my OH,but i dont want rid of him either!! ;)
 
Winter is always hard, and always make,s me wonder why I,m doing it. I,ve got a horse i can't ride because I,m too heavy. (hence the diet)

Last year I went so far as to put him on horsemart but when push came to shove I couldn't do it. I just knew that if we sold him the money would get lost into the household and I would have no excuse to escape onto the yard when Hubby is also irritating me. ;)

I,ve been trying to get a trailer for last couple of years, I wanted to do some inhand shows. Just something to motivate me.

Hold in there spring is coming, maybe others on your yard will get motivated

www.diet2ride.co.uk
 
Ladyinred said:
If you can'ty enjoy your horse just because she is a horse then maybe sell her to someone who appreciates her more and isn't 'irritated' by her.
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Thats a horrible reply, why would you say something like that? She clearly cares or she wouldn't have posted on here asking for some advice!

I understand where your coming from because I have never even competed, I want to but just dont have the motivation too right now as I have no transport etc, decide whether you can turn things around and save up for your own transport, or perhaps sell her own, use the money to fund a trailer and then get a horse on loan? I dont mean that to sound like get rid and replace, sorry if it does.

Horses are very frustrating and I wont be the last to say that mine really irritates me at the best of times! I always sit back and thin wkhats the ruddy point anymore! But then you have them days where they are perfect and you remember why its all worth while ;)
 
Thank you. I can save again for a trailer, I need to get my camera out, get ebay into action and start painting portraits!

I will be the first to admit that my horse irritates me beyond belief sometimes, especially when she jumps out over her 5ft metal gate into the yo's field and proceeds to leave craters and 100ft skid marks all over it, which I am then duty bound to spend hours treading in. I think I can be forgiven for feeling less than charitable towards her in those type of instances!
 
Mildred said:
Thank you. I can save again for a trailer, I need to get my camera out, get ebay into action and start painting portraits!

I will be the first to admit that my horse irritates me beyond belief sometimes, especially when she jumps out over her 5ft metal gate into the yo's field and proceeds to leave craters and 100ft skid marks all over it, which I am then duty bound to spend hours treading in. I think I can be forgiven for feeling less than charitable towards her in those type of instances!
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Lol, oh yes, Those Moments (or rather hours!).

Our YO has proved herself lovely so far :D, so I cringe like mad when GM starts kicking her stable door because she has to wait two nano seconds to go out after the Dizz has gone out! And if she is put out first, she fence walks until the Dizz is out with her. Pah. :rolleyes::eek::cool:
 
Sanolly said:
Hi D2R just to let you know, if you are going to sign up just to advertise (which is against the regs), at least be clever about it and put up a link that works :rolleyes:
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So are you not allowed to put up links to blogs then? Seen plenty on others sigs:confused:

Don't know diet2ride but just had quite an emotional read through her blog pages, so at least be clever about it and don't accuse people of advertising when they're not:rolleyes:

Mildred-this has been a horrid winter. I have had horses over 30 years too and I have really struggled through the last 3 months. 2ft of snow at the start of December is not my idea of a pleasant winter:eek: Just give it a while, at least until the weather takes a turn for the better and then re-assess how you're feeling.
 
onlytheponely said:
So are you not allowed to put up links to blogs then? Seen plenty on others sigs:confused:

Don't know diet2ride but just had quite an emotional read through her blog pages, so at least be clever about it and don't accuse people of advertising when they're not:rolleyes:

Mildred-this has been a horrid winter. I have had horses over 30 years too and I have really struggled through the last 3 months. 2ft of snow at the start of December is not my idea of a pleasant winter:eek: Just give it a while, at least until the weather takes a turn for the better and then re-assess how you're feeling.
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Generally when a new poster puts up links, they're adverts. How was I suppose to know it was a blog - the link didn't work. Did you sign up especially to pull me up on my post?
 
Sanolly said:
You can pick up trailers cheaply, just because they're ol doesn't mean that they are unsafe. My old bahill trailer cost me a grand total of £500! It's had a complete overhaul with brand new floor and electrics :)
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absolutely right~~just because its cheap trailer doesnt necessarily mean its wont do the job.

arent some people unhelpful and unpleasant on this forum~~~~~take no notice of negative folk.
 
I take it you have a capable towing vehicle as you only mention the trailer money, is there nowhere around that hires trailers, there are a couple around here and for about £20-£30 for the day you can hire one, therefore not dependant on anyone??

I do think it's the winter blues that have hit you, I know what you mean about having a goal etc, but my mare hasn't been sound since last may, so have had to take a back seat with competing etc, but I do have to say I still love the day to day escape to the stables to do them!!! But then my horses (I also have 2 babies) are very affectionate in the stable so a good cuddle etc with them soon makes me feel better and makes me realise why I do it all!!!!
 
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