disparaging remarks from 'trainers' when paying mega £'s for a lesson

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thespanishmane

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I would love to hear others - these are a few given to me and my Spanish chap for starters!

I think I need a thick skin for some of them, but I don't take life that seriously!


Can you not ride your horse in with the others? - he is frightening them

Why are you using those daft stirrups? (sprenger bow balance ones - I have been dragged by a horse before as foot got stuck)

I don't like his action. I don't know what you are going to do with him

Ride with your leg longer, no longer than that (difficult as I am only 5')

You need to shut his mouth - use a flash on him

why are you using a flash?

I dont like your saddle (funny that one - I had one made for him and dinky me & sold side saddle to fund it - but its like riding on air and suits me and horse!) also strange that trainer had own range of saddles on the arena fence!

I could go on - no negativity here - just bafflement!
 
sorry! I would get a new trainer too!
These are from different trainers over a period of time - just a few picky remarks. my favourite nice one is 'sypathetically ridden!'
 
Agree with the two other comments thus far!

Why on earth you pay someone to say negative things about you and your horse I do not know!

Find another trainer immediately!

You are supposed to feel inspired during a lesson and you should be achieving some goals each time you have a lesson!
 
My instructor takes the p and occasionally calls him a tit (I would have called him far worse ;) ) but she never insults me or him. In fact she often tells me he is better than I believe. I would get a new instructor if they kept saying thinks like that as there are plenty of instructors out there that will improve you and your horse without insulting you.
 
I agree. What on earth is he going on about re "I don't know what you are going to do with him"?? Surely as your trainer he should be able to point you in the right direction instead of criticizing constantly!

Get a new trainer!
 
Makes me realise how lucky I am - all the trainers I've had in Suffolk have been very positive!!

Saying that, I did find a good one quite quickly and have stuck with her.

Whilst I hate insincere trainers who only say nice things so they keep getting paid, I hate trainers who think they can take the p because they're teaching you ... manners and tact cost nothing and mean I'll keep returning!
 
I don't think that you can really judge any of those taken out of context. If they actually hurt the OP at the time and in the context they were used then it's not ok and no wonder she's had several trainers but I can look back and find some choice things that have been said which would look pretty bad in the cold light of day but at the time, in their proper context, made absolutely perfect sense and were not harsh.
 
I am a total numpty and had lessons with some big dressage names but no one has ever been rude - if they were I would walk away and never pay them for a lesson again!

Mind you, some of these comments, in context, can be reasonable. I have been asked, nicely, why I use a treeless, why I don't use a flash, why I use a particular bit, etc. but I think sometimes this questions are a way for a trainer to establish what you think the issues are and how you have tried to solve them.
 
How about "You can't ********* ride & that pony will never jump, why don't you give up & put it in Reading Market"

Nice, that one sentence affected me for a very long time, needless to say we didn't go back, found a great BS accredited coach & she did jump, I could ride & she didn't go to Reading Market.
 
sounds to me as though your trainer is not really interested in you or your horse.

sorry but I would find another one

I don't mind constructive criticise at all but most of this seems pointless negativity which is just not needed or useful and would affect the rest of the lesson
 
kizzywiz said:
How about "You can't ********* ride & that pony will never jump, why don't you give up & put it in Reading Market"

Nice, that one sentence affected me for a very long time, needless to say we didn't go back, found a great BS accredited coach & she did jump, I could ride & she didn't go to Reading Market.
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Thats really nasty and totally un-necessary. Speaks more volume about the trainer than you or your pony. In fact how can anyone who says that even consider themselves a trainer.
 
Unfortunatly there are a few like that around.
The best one I had was when I was 8 he would swear at my pony, having just moved back from America, and quite a sheltered community, I had never heard them before!
We then found a new instructor and she has been teaching me for a long time :)
 
BBH said:
Thats really nasty and totally un-necessary. Speaks more volume about the trainer than you or your pony. In fact how can anyone who says that even consider themselves a trainer.
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They are now a UKCC3 BS coach.... that fact actually really saddens me & I'm glad I had the sense to get away & find someone who really wanted to help me improve
 
I'd be on the hunt for a new trainer asap. That one sounds like she thinks she's "all that" (coined that great phrase from my teenagers!!).

When one of my daughters had a first lesson with a new instructor a few years ago the first 30 minutes (:eek:) was spent criticising the tack. "Hate" that girth, "ridiculous bridle" (he's bitless and there's a pyschological reason for it actually), ugly saddle etc. etc. Didn't stay with her long .... ;)
 
when we were little we had the best instructor. When she was on holiday we got someone else who regularly used to comment 'ooh rising canter, how clever even the professionals can't do that'.

We were about 7years old.

Sarcasm is wasted on children!
 
I even had one fall asleep in a chair. TBH if they don't love your horse and cant put up with you then forget it. I'm pretty unteachable cos I just don't put up with any crap. I think many of the 'names' have a god complex.
 
i couldnt care less what any of them say to me often its true

I used to have a very big heavy weight cob, he was very much shire type but only about 15.2 he had a proper big roman nose and we couldnt clip him so he was full feather

one of the trainers said to me one day

'your goign to have to work hard with this horse its going to be very difficult getting him off his forehand with a head like that'

its true didnt bother me, and he enjoyed teaching my horse anyway cause he was a nice refreshing change
 
I once had an instructor say that my mare was only fit for dog meat. I ditched the instructor and kept the horse. :D I later found out that that instructor often made her pupils (even adult ones) cry with nasty comments about their horses and apparently her specialty was making fun of the rider's weight. I did ask the lady who told me this, why didn't she get a different instructor but she couldn't really answer and kept having lessons with her. :(
 
Some of those OP comments listed were okay (depending on tone of delivery) but some were just unnecessarily rude. Comments listed above re pet food and reading market are totally unprofessional and inappropriate. Even if the trainer does think that then they have a choice - they either say they dont want to train you or they take your money and do a decent job without being rude!

There are lots of good trainers around who are polite and IMO you never need to be subjected to this kind of rudeness.

Similarly you dont need to go to anyone who is so arrogant that they take zero interest in what you are doing and how you got on at a show etc. For many years I made the mistake of persevering with a very well known name who had exactly this attitude of turning up to teach but making it clear that as I didnt have a fantastic horse and was "only" at med/ad med he really couldnt be all that bothered. Spent a lot of time slagging off my weight in a less than helpful fashion too. To be fair it got a lot worse as years passed - he was much more successful, a better trainer and more motivated when he was younger. I made the msitake of persevering for too long after I would have benefited from changing trainers and working with someone more supportive - which eventually did happen.
 
Some people just don't like certainly breeds of horse and I know two instructors that do nothing but slag a friend of mine's young andalucian mare off.

Perhaps you should be looking for a specialist spannish trainer.

I certainly would not put up with crap from someone I am paying good money too!
 
I totally agree. i think some of the worst examples are actually from recognised names who think they are above and beyond having to be polite to people.

Also why is there such arrogance from some of them, afterall they haven't won the nobel peace prize or influenced international monetary policy, no they just ride horses which in the great scheme of things doesn't benefit society in anyway at all.

Just musings .
 
Some of these comments are awful. I used to have in instructor who witterred on about my horse having sweet itch and how she wouldn't have bought him, and I just thought, why? We obviously had bought him and loved him to pieces, in full knowledge of his condition which didn't affect him for the purpose we wanted him for anyway. I think she was just miffed because she had advised we didn't buy him (because of SI) then we did anyway - we rather trusted the vet's opinion on the matter over hers ;)

Surely any trainer worth their salt will be honest with you about your horse's shortcomings (i.e. your cob will find it difficult to come off the forehand) BUT then spend all their time and knowledge helping you to do your best with the horse you've got - after all, very few horses in this world are perfectly put together.
 
I once had a rude dressage instructor, who always made some kind of comment in our lesson. The one that stuck in my mind the most was ''its a shame you cant win the lottery, you could get a better horse then''

Its really not constructive, so I like many others before say you can find better. My current trainer is also aware of the difficulties concerning Andalusians and has never trained one before, but loves him so hopes others will too.
 
Chap at our yard got told by a very well-known and respected visiting trainer to put his horse in a container and dump it in the middle of the North Sea. And then expected chap to fork out however much money for the privilege!
 
I had one that fiddled around with my stirrup leathers, when she asked me to canter on my new and quite forward going mare and I pointed out to her that I didnt feel secure and the stirrups were not right, she told me I was pathetic, useless, frightened of my horse and that I should just get on with it and why was she wasting her time on me!

I told her in no uncertain terms not to speak to me in that manner again and just rode out of the arena on my horse. V V upset, got back to the yard only to find that she had adjusted my left stirrup by 5 holes (longer than my usual length) and my other by one hole. They were totally uneven when you looked at them square on as well and I could barely reach the longer one!

I have now gone back to my old instructress who understands me and my horse and although she can put in the odd 'f' word (which to be honest with you I need sometimes) she would never dream of speaking to me or any one else in such a rude awful manner.

I did get an apology, but too little too late. I would see how you go, but if you dont feel like you are getting the results you like and it is affecting your confidence look elsewhere.
 
As others have said, if my instuctor made nasty comments about me or my horse then I would just find someone else. My instructor is fab at giving me confidence and getting the best out of my horse. I used to ride very deffensivly (horse had an impressive buck!) and she once said to me in a really nice voice, 'I hope you don't mind me saying but you are riding like a complete fanny'!! After drying my eyes from laughing I had the best lesson ever!!
 
I had a lesson with a well know SJ trainer a long time ago, I was riding a little ex racehorse that hadn't been out of training very long.
From the very beginning it was obvious he didn't like me or my horse and used every available opportunity to be horrible to me. I was on the verge of telling him to f off and walk out but stuck it out till the end when he came over and told me he had been extra harsh to me as he thought we had a lot of potential!
Looking back now, I was very arrogant and thought I was the best rider in the world so he probably wanted to bring me down a peg or 2, which I don't blame him for one bit!
 
When I was about 11 I had a lesson at a Pony Club rally with a new instructor.

I had a cheeky pony who was not easy but had regular lessons with my 'own' instructor.

New instructor was giving us some exercises to practise at home with grids. I asked if there was anything I could do with the 2 jumps I had in the field - we didn't have enough for several jumps etc and also no sand school.

I was told 'Ah, you don't have a school, that explains a lot. To be honest I wouldn't bother unless you're going to do it properly.'

Nice!!
 
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