DIY and others!! sorry small rant

Alchemy

Alchemy

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Ok sorry if this sounds like a selfish rant

I am on a DIY yard which in my mindmeans do it yourself my horse is in a pddock on his own which is great very happy, and i get him in with the horse next door everynight in the dark pissing down with rain etc so he isnt left out on his own ( unlike last year where every night i got down yard he was pacing up and down, yet people on the yard tell me " we would never leave a horse out on their own"!!!!)

Yet it seems its a one way help, the lady whos horse it is works 8-4 and could technically bring them in before me but she chooses to work late and some nights works 12-8pm so understandable i get in. Yesterday she had a day off so said she would bring in great i get a night off she can bring in and feed :-) i said great but weather is ok so please leave out as long as possible ( my horse has copd) 10 minutes later at 1.30pm i get a text saying ive brought them in!! to say i was a little cross maybe an understatement- or am i over reacting? so bang goes a rare night off as have to go down muck out more hay/water etc ( stupidly didnt take him out for a leg stretch so this morning he came out of the box stiff)
So am i just cross because the odd times she brings in its light/dry or because she isnt doing what i would like? Does anyone else have this issue? or am i just the miserable one on a yard with 40 horses :-(

Thanks for reading :-)
 
The ONLY way to do DIY is to not help other people, and stick to yourself. I have learnt from bitter experience that people will come to "expect and take the p***".
 
Rule One: Never rely on anyone to do anything as you would like them to, especially if you are paying them.

This applies to most walks of life, but especially livery yards, hair dressers, and florists for weddings, in my experience. As a result, I now cut my own hair and am going back to DIY as soon as possible. Don't ask about the wedding thing...
 
Alchemy said:
Ok sorry if this sounds like a selfish rant

I am on a DIY yard which in my mindmeans do it yourself my horse is in a pddock on his own which is great very happy, and i get him in with the horse next door everynight in the dark pissing down with rain etc so he isnt left out on his own ( unlike last year where every night i got down yard he was pacing up and down, yet people on the yard tell me " we would never leave a horse out on their own"!!!!)

Yet it seems its a one way help, the lady whos horse it is works 8-4 and could technically bring them in before me but she chooses to work late and some nights works 12-8pm so understandable i get in. Yesterday she had a day off so said she would bring in great i get a night off she can bring in and feed :-) i said great but weather is ok so please leave out as long as possible ( my horse has copd) 10 minutes later at 1.30pm i get a text saying ive brought them in!! to say i was a little cross maybe an understatement- or am i over reacting? so bang goes a rare night off as have to go down muck out more hay/water etc ( stupidly didnt take him out for a leg stretch so this morning he came out of the box stiff)
So am i just cross because the odd times she brings in its light/dry or because she isnt doing what i would like? Does anyone else have this issue? or am i just the miserable one on a yard with 40 horses :-(

Thanks for reading :-)
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Yet again another 'arrangement' turns sour ! Sadly these kind of 'mutual agreements' often become one sided. I would have been annoyed, yes but maybe it was because of the horrid weather she brought in earlier? The thing is, most people will do what suits them and if you had made it clearer what time you wanted your horse in maybe she would have then said that wasn't convenient for her? Bite your tongue, and maybe from now on just sort your own out? I would only enter these arrangements if it suited me to do so. If it's not mutually beneficial, what's the point?
 
My ym gives my cob his hay at night which i am eternally grateful for, but why cant she tie it up the way it is supposed to be tied up, it is a large shires net and the way to tie them up is through the metal ring at the bottom, i have shown her how they suggest tieing them but no the rope gets tied onto the net, resulting in the strings breaking and the net landing on the ground, and god forbid i mention he could have got his legs caught in the rope, she didnt speak to me for days, oh well. I changed the net.
 
Shysmum said:
The ONLY way to do DIY is to not help other people, and stick to yourself. I have learnt from bitter experience that people will come to "expect and take the p***".
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Ouch! Or you can actually make friends with people on your yard and share duties so it works for both parties? I've got a great set of mates on my yard and we are always doing turnout/bring in etc for each other and swapping holiday cover. Yes occasionally people will take the piss so you either suck it up because it makes it better for your horse or stop that agreement. Being on DIY would be pretty miserable and very tying IMO if you just stick to yourself.
 
ditto jango - another livery brings Frank in with hers in the week (I do give her a couple of quid for doing it) she and other sharer poo pick in week and I do weekends, I live on site so have no issue putting in a tea/haynet late etc. Another livery/friend gives Frank his tea on a Friday so he doesn't have to wait till late when I have finished in the gym and we do eachother's when the other is busy on a weekend (which is great as I live quite a distance from my friends and wouldn't see any of them otherwise!)
 
I have put threads on here about this when it all went very nasty, so I won't go into it any further. :eek:

In fact, we ARE all great mates on our yard as the problem livery left - now easily the best yard I have ever been on ! But the ground rules had to be set, and that's that. We all do our own thing, but DO help out in emergencies. No bad feeling, just a very happy place to be.

DIY = DO IT YOURSELF

ASSISTED = PAY FOR HELP bringing in, rugs, feet, hay......

FULL LIVERY = just that !!
 
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its mine that paces :-( and with the screw in his leg im more mindful. also when i bring them in together my horse has a lovely big walk and her warmblood is like a snail so im stretching forwards and backwards!!! not that that really matters

Only good thing is next winter i am on my own so if i need a hand hopefully my non horsey mum who know how particular i am can help and he is sensible enough for her to handle :-)
 
Shysmum said:
The ONLY way to do DIY is to not help other people, and stick to yourself. I have learnt from bitter experience that people will come to "expect and take the p***".
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This for me too. If I ever have to go back to DIY this is how I will be working things. Learnt the hard way, like you.
 
putasocinit said:
My ym gives my cob his hay at night which i am eternally grateful for, but why cant she tie it up the way it is supposed to be tied up, it is a large shires net and the way to tie them up is through the metal ring at the bottom, i have shown her how they suggest tieing them but no the rope gets tied onto the net, resulting in the strings breaking and the net landing on the ground, and god forbid i mention he could have got his legs caught in the rope, she didnt speak to me for days, oh well. I changed the net.
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There's an easy way round this, fit a clip (carabiner) to your tie ring and leave a ready tied net for your YM. YM only needs to clip the strings through the clip saving time, effort and a broken net.

I also don't do favours, if anybody wants something done they can pay me. I'll dress your horse up head to toe in sparkles with bananas sticking out of its ears for the appropriate dough.
 
I only asked because I was thinking if it was that way round then she is leaving hers out for the benefit of yours so it's hard to complain.
 
I also don't do favours, if anybody wants something done they can pay me. I'll dress your horse up head to toe in sparkles with bananas sticking out of its ears for the appropriate dough.[/QUOTE]

Hahaha love this :-)
 
I did put a clip on the tie ring, i also leave a net out ready to just be hung up, but it isnt tied up the correct way. I finish work at 8pm and the yard is 14miles away so ym offered to do it, i in turn repay her by doing chores for her in the morning emptying her wheelbarrow, helping turn her horses out or bring in, help carry her 6 haynets from haybarn to stables, so not a matter for paying someone, it isnt a difficult job though is it.
 
Shysmum said:
The ONLY way to do DIY is to not help other people, and stick to yourself. I have learnt from bitter experience that people will come to "expect and take the p***".
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I have to disgree with you on this.

I am on DIY with just myself and 1 other lady. I have 1 horse and she has 7.

My horse and one of her's are geldings. Therefore they share a field together and do not mix with the mares (her's was an experienced stallion who was gelded later in life).

I bring in and turn out both horses daily and muck both horses out just to make my life (and her's) easier. If needs be, she will happily return the favour. This is soooo much easier for me, not battling at the gate at bringing in time trying to keep one in and one out, not worrying about leaving them in/out alone. For my peace of mind and beacuse I enjoy doing it, I am happy with this situation.

If you are both sensible adults and can come to a mutual arrangement and not take the p**s then I don't see why not.

I am really sorry to hear that it didnt work for you, SM, but it can for some!
 
The underlying rule for diy is first and foremost your horse - you do it and secondly select ur favour friends wisely!

At my yard, my pony shares a field with 5 others all belonging to 1 person. We keep ourselves to ourselves and help each other out daily. He does my pony if i'm away and i help out him as much as i can. My pony wont go out on his own so i will feed his ponies and turn them out if i'm down before him and he is happy with this and he'll bring mine in if i'm running late. As i'm still saving to buy a horse after losing my cob last yr he lets me ride his and i don't mind helping. that has included bringing all of his in, feeding, hay and water one hideous evening when he was late from work.

favours work both ways and ppl need to recognise this before u get stuck doing something for free!
 
I find it a bit sad that so many people feel that DIY should be just that. I'm on a lovely yard and share duties with another DIY. It suits both of us and we both pull our weight.
That said, we do talk about it like adults and give and take whenever necessary
 
Its quite funny how people tie their haynets up differently :)

I always tie mine to the net not the ring at the bottom; I've had my Shires haylage net for 8 years and its still going strong!

One of my liveries ties it round the baler twine twice, I hate that, takes too long to undo lol

My other diy er has just been asked to leave; always asks someone to feed and turnout on Sat/Sun morning so she can lie in ( and nurse a hangover )never returns the favour and doesn't want to pay;

What the hell is a lie in please?
 
moleskinsmum said:
I find it a bit sad that so many people feel that DIY should be just that. I'm on a lovely yard and share duties with another DIY. It suits both of us and we both pull our weight.
That said, we do talk about it like adults and give and take whenever necessary
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That's great when it works out;

I have a small private yard behind my house and only have two friends ( only one from 1st March ) I made it quite clear to them both when they came, I do not want to do any work, therefore they are both completely DIY;

That then becomes, " I can't get back tonight, I am away this weekend, I'm hungover, I need a rest" etc etc etc
Its only one of them (lives approx. 5 doors away! ), the other even though she lives a few miles away comes twice a day and is always here by 7am even at the weekends.
 
I didnt mind the tieing up so much just the fact it had got loose and if it had been tied up correctly it wouldnt have got loose and when i mentioned it was on the floor and arou d his feet but not tangled up in them she was quite put off by my small complaint. Yet she is an absolute perfectionist where he own horses are concerned, really it is just a cimparison about how two people can do and see things differently.
 
Do your own horse and let others do theirs.

If you make an arrangement to do favours make the conditions clear about exactly what you want doing at what time.
But then if you are going to be that specific then it would probably best to pay someone instead of relying on favours.
 
I may have come across holier than thou which wasn't my intention. My DIY "buddy" and I do do things differently - like the way we tie haynets up for example - and I'm sure we drive each other nuts at times (or maybe it's just me that drives her nuts) but we sort all the big issues out such as who is turning out/bringing in, doing field water etc so that the horses get a set routine and their needs are looked after but try not to sweat the small stuff. For example, I muck out every day so she poo picks. She doesn't do that every day but I know it will all get done at least twice a week. Then we muck out our own at the weekend and share the poo picking. Last weekend I had the lovely surprise of turning up on my none-turning out day and finding my box done.
 
I think it's simple, if you want things done a particular way then do it yourself. If you can accept that things will be done in a different way then ask for a favour and be prepared to return the favour when you can.
 
I have recently moved yards and my new yard is lovely, everyone is friendly and happy help each other out, although we get turnout included so now for the first time in donkeys years i get to have a lay in BUT at my old yard we use to have this problem all the time. Me and a close friend would help each other out if ever needed and always returned the favour or paid a little something, but when she left i was on my own. One lady would bring her horse in extremely early and leave mine and anothers out. I always use to bring the other pony in as he would pace and scream his head off if he was left out, especially if the weather was bad, i always got a nice thank you but i NEVER EVER got returned the favour. So in the end i sucked it up and ignored her pony and left her to it, i got a few snotty notes, all of which i ignored, but i do think if that person is not willingly to help you then you don't do it for them and and then you don't get stuck in a vicious circle or an awkard situation.
 
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