Do all livery yards have one mad person

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We used to have a nutty old lady who would put a tablecloth down in the corner of her horses stable before putting his feed bucket down so that he wouldn't get shavings in his tummy from clearing up the spilt bits!

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Oh my word!
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Thats the best one yet!
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We are blessed with three, one like to collect empty feed/bedding bags and then calls you a thief if you happen to pick one up thats lying around and throw it in the bin, she also has at least 8 turnout rugs per pony (she has 3) and the other couple have a pony that had a respiratory infection two years ago, they reckon he is going to dye if he doesn't get an outside stable even though he has got a big window actually in his stable and theres also a bad draft n the stable block..................strange people, I could write a novel about our yard!
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I wish we only had one! several on my yard the stories are too many to recount! every day one of them does something that makes me walk off sniggering and tutting! the one that sweeps her stable on hands and knees with a dustpan and brush evryday prob takes the biscuit tho!

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I do that!!!
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In my defence my broom went walkabout a year ago and I;m too lazy to buy another. I sweep outside the stable with the dustpan brush too
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I used to be on a yard where there was a lady who'd walk into the yard and squeal "Morning people! breakfast time people!" Yes, she was talking to her horses...
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I knew several barking liveries from my grooming days, most of them were the full liveries
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. One insisted her horse only hack a certain route, because he liked the canal apparently. Another would turn up a random times and go APE if the stable and horse weren't spotless, and I mean, IMMACULATE. It had a full range of day rugs, night rugs, event rugs and special rugs. It was never allowed in the field and we were instucted to hack it for 10 miles a day. It was a loon to ride, and a loon to lead-ride. More than once we lost the damn thing...
 
It's the law to have one mad person on a yard!
We had one old wifey years ago who insisted her horse would only be friends with a horse of the same height, age and colour! She would make up my hay nets as she thought I fed too much hay. This is the same woman who would wear the pinkest brightest lipstick all the time and rarely on just her lips. She was very posh but would fart loudly as she wandered round the yard. I once heard lots of water splashing and went round to find her sitting in the stream that runs beside the yard, very triumphantly holding a salmon in the air! On having her old mare put down she cut her legs off and kept them in a bucket for a week before presenting them to her farrier as she was sure he could use them to show other people about flat feet.

There are many, many more stories about her!
 
We have one.
Her bed is spotless and I mean...spotless, her mare is on shavings and it looks like shes freshly laid it everyday.
She cleans the rug while its still on her mare and has some barmy ideas about shoeing/barefoot/lunging/jumping/sand schol surfaces/hacking...everything basically.
 
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It's the law to have one mad person on a yard!
We had one old wifey years ago who insisted her horse would only be friends with a horse of the same height, age and colour! She would make up my hay nets as she thought I fed too much hay. This is the same woman who would wear the pinkest brightest lipstick all the time and rarely on just her lips. She was very posh but would fart loudly as she wandered round the yard. I once heard lots of water splashing and went round to find her sitting in the stream that runs beside the yard, very triumphantly holding a salmon in the air! On having her old mare put down she cut her legs off and kept them in a bucket for a week before presenting them to her farrier as she was sure he could use them to show other people about flat feet.

There are many, many more stories about her!

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Classic
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I am the mad one! I use dustpan and brush for the horses stable and I level my beds and I play certain music to certain horses because I know they like it.
 
I'm proud to be our yard nutter, hence Box of Frogs!!! Though I do insist people say "individual" rather than mad!!!! My deep litter beds are so deep and gorgeous that a fellow livery once told me my horse could seriously injure himself if he fell off the edge one night. And every Christmas Eve, my neds get a mince pie. And I rescue earthworms (you have to toss them gently from hand to hand while you scuttle to a nice earthy spot coz the heat of a human hand can kill them). And feed sugar water off a teaspoon to cold bumble bees. The list is endless. I'm happy being mad though x
 
I feed sugar water to cold bees too - does this mean I am a bit bonkers too? I sing to my hoss frequently and change the words so the song has her name in it
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and shout 'room service' sometimes when approacing her stable with hay/feed.

Hmmmm - I do believe tis I that is the mad one on the yard
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On having her old mare put down she cut her legs off and kept them in a bucket for a week before presenting them to her farrier as she was sure he could use them to show other people about flat feet

Nooooooooo
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we have a family of absoultely mad people, we hide when we see them coming:) and our poor new livery got surrounded by them last night with no one to save her!
the one thing i still laugh my head off at is when a girl on the yard had a foal with pneumonia, the vet came out gave her medication and told her to take foalies temp twice a day, he also warned that foalie could colic due to medication, well foalie colicked and one of the mad lot toddled along and told her ( a nurse) that she had obvisouly given foalie a infection by sticking the thermometer up his bum and then even tried to tell the vet that
 
Our yard maddo is a fifty-something bloke who calls the horses 'old lad' ( even if its a 4yo mare) and wanders around in his slippers.

Some of the other liveries let him put their horses out in the morning-personally I wouldnt let him put my bin out on bin-day....and thats because he tends to turn the horses out in their stable rugs. In the rain.
 
I guess being the only person, I am the maddest one there...

Only last weekend, I followed a deer track on the forestry that led to thick shrubbery. The track had been slippy and it's against our religion to turn back, so I got off and battled through it, going cross-country. My sense of direction is brilliant, but I came to a very steep bank. Far too steep to lead pony up, so I looped his reins over his head and told him to wait for me at the top.

He did!!! However, I had chosen a slightly different route up and kept slipping back down and got the giggles. I ended up going his route, using his hoof-prints as footholds. I swear he thinks I'm the most stupid human he's ever come across!!

Compared to the above, though, I'm quite normal, I think!!
 
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On having her old mare put down she cut her legs off and kept them in a bucket for a week before presenting them to her farrier as she was sure he could use them to show other people about flat feet.


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she had her mares legs cut off and kept them in a BUCKET for a WEEK?!?!

argghhhh *runs away to be sick*
 
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