Do I really have to go back to that place again?

[benson21]

Many many months ago, I had a doctors appt, with a doctor I didnt know. i was having a down day, and when he asked me how i was feeling I burst into tears, and he kept prodding me about my accident, and about benson.
Within that 10 minute appt, he decided he knew me well enough to tell me I needed more counselling.
I have been putting it off because I just dont want to go back to that place in my life, but the appt is tonight.
I am a mess.
It has brought back all those feelings, all the tears, the hurt, the anger, all because of a doctor who thought he knew me after 10 minutes.
I dont want to go, but I know if I dont they will keep ringing me to make another appt.
Pointless post really, I just know someone on here will understand.

 

[Wobblywibble]

The short answer is no, you don't have to go. And you don't have to make any future appointments, its your life, your mind and if you don't feel it would be beneficial then don't go.

 

[MudMudGloriousMud]

Speaking as someone who has had years of therapy (of all sorts) I know where you are coming from.
Maybe go the appointment tonight and explain that whilst counselling "might" be the right thing in the eyes of a medical professional, at the moment it isn't right for you at the moment?

I went to one psychiatrist who I took an instant dislike to...I explained that I was getting nothing from the session, and would continue to get nothing, as I didn't feel it was the right approach, and she referred me back to the GP.

If you would like to chat, please PM me....

Mel x

 

[Goldenstar]

Yes I think you probally do need to go.
The thought of it makes me cringe ,talking about that sort of thing
However you are "only " talking about things that are in your head already it can't make it worse it might make it better .
Go with an open mind I think I would feel like you and have to dragged there but go be open to the fact it may help .
Your post sounds a bit angry but perhaps confronting all this will help
I hope so have an Internet hug from me .

 

[D66]

It will be worth it if you can break through the issues that are causing the pain to the serenity on the other side.
Have a go.

 

[swampdonkey]

Hi,
I am by no means an expert at all but if the thought of talking about the accident still can upset you so much then you obviously are no where near accepting what happened or have come to terms with it.
Just from an outsiders point of view maybe you need to let the feelings come and have the counselling to accept what has happened.
It sounds like you have been doing a great job on keeping on top of your emotions and its left bubbling just under the surface. It might be that letting it all out will make you feel 'lighter' and help you in the longer term.
If I was you I think I would accept the counselling and go with an open mind.
If you come away feeling upset and that it didn't help you at all, then no need to go again.
But on the upside you may just come away feeling that you have gained some 'closure' for want of a better word.
As I said I am not experienced in this at all and only know briefly of your history but hope that whatever you decide to do will be the right thing for you.

 

[MerrySherryRider]

You don't have to go. The doctor was facilitating an opportunity for you to have help. You decide whether its right for you right now or not, it doesn't mean you can't have counselling another time.

 

[MrsElle]

I too think you should give it a go and attend the appointment.

Things have happened in my life and I am very, very good at putting them to the back of my mind and not really dealing with them. It's much easier not to have to go back to those places as they revisit the hurt, fear, sadness and anger that I felt at the time.

However, I don't think that mine (and possibly your) attitude towards a major trauma like the one you suffered is particularly healthy long term, and the longer you leave it, the harder it will be to revisit and deal with it, in my humble opinion and personal experience.

Tonight will be awful, I won't lie, but it will be the start of a healing process that in the long run I am sure you will be greatful for.

Sending huge hugs x

 

[Hippona]

You don't have to go at all.

Counselling is great for some people, and not for others.

I feel really, really uncomfortable talking about feelings and stuff....It wouldnt be for me I'm afraid. Its it makes you feel worse- don't go...

 

[Aarrghimpossiblepony]

I don't think it's so much that you don't like the idea of counselling, more that you don't trust the counseller or the system.

The Doctor made a snap judgement in your opinion, I can quite understand why you wouldn't want to meet and talk to somebody who they had referred you too.

What to do about it?
I dunno, but having a healthy mistrust of people who earn money out of other peoples problems can't be bad.

So maybe I'd go with the view that they have to really go out of their way to make you trust them so that you can be counselled.

Alternatively, you're doing the driving now?
Stick with that and let it make you feel happy, you'll get there in the end yourself.

 

[benson21]

Well, I went! And within 20 minutes she was telling me that she thought I was quite a balanced and settled person, and unless I wanted counselling, she couldnt see why I was there!!
I did tell her what had happened, and she asked lots of questions, I told her I was feeling down and tearful, but she picked up straight away that it was because I was there!
In the end she said she wanted to string up the doctor for putting me through it all!!
I did say in the end, back when I met the doctor I may well of needed some form of counselling, but that was about 7 - 8 months ago, lots has happened since then, and things have changed!!

 

[showaddy1]

Glad all went ok. My counselor told me I was a control freak and was going to make my husband have an affair! Luckily I laughed it off...
You'll get there.. Besides having 'bad day's' is normal x

 

[Nugget La Poneh]

Glad it went it okay

Was going to say yes you should go - sometimes all it needs is a complete stranger making a snap judgement to get you on the path back to 'normality'.

Besides, you made a instant judgement about his professional opinion

As others have said, counselling is a bit like marmite. You'll either like it or hate it. I personally hate it as it winds me up, and CBT worked for me and ironically would make counselling more bearable if I was to try it again

 

[Goldenstar]

Onwards and upwards .

 

[Pebbles]

Well done for going and showing how far you have moved on by your own efforts Benson! Sounds like a very good counsellor and now you can peacefully keep moving on and be very proud of yourself for what you have achieved x

 

[Spot_the_Risk]

Ah Benson, big hug and a strong cup of tea for you, there will be good and bad days, but you'll work it out. x

 

[YorksG]

I'm pleased to hear that you went and that it was a positive experience. To the poster above who suggested that you make the counsellor work hard to gain your trust, that will never work. If someone attends a session with that level of open hostility then the worker will invite you to explain your hostility, explain that they are there to help you find the solution and if you maintain your hostility will suggest that you leave and only return when you are willing/able to particiate.