Do I stay or do I go?

[Mylife]

I need some perspective, or maybe I just need to type this out and the answer will come to me... It's a long one- here goes...

The yard my pony is on is right behind my house, I climb our garden fence to get in its that close, the downside is its shared with the yard owner and her one horse. Her horse has separation anxiety.

YO turns out in the morning, I bring in in the evening, and that's fine. However yo horse is a fine tb my mare is a hairy, chunky cob... Yard owner thinks I should be treating my mare almost exactly the same as she treats her tb, I now avoid seeing her at the yard as I'm fed up of being told how to do things!

Also I cannot do anything with my mare without bringing the yo horse along too, I'm 31 weeks pregnant and the honest truth is I am too damn lazy to catch them both, bring them in, sort my mare, take them both back to the field, lunge my mare, catch yard owners mare, bring them both back in, get my mare ready for turnout, then turn them both back out! I have a sharer but she isn't confident enough to catch them both either, so my mare is only getting ridden once a week, when the yard owner can ride out too!!

Also, the yard is being sold for housing, my family has been trying to buy it for as long as I can remember, as a family we have been Used this land for three generations... I can't even go over there without crying at the thought it's going to be a housing estate, despite all the offers we have put in over the years!

But o have my first child on the way, not having to travel to the yard would be so so beneficial!! I have another yard to go to (my old Yard actually) child friendly/dog friendly, as flexiable as I need it to be, my mare can live out all year around, have our own routine, no one on the yard cares how I take care of her as long as it's not abuse, reasonably good hacking (all long hacks, no 'round the block') can however ride in a choice of fields whenever I like, potential to be slightly bitchy, but everyone would remain civil if that makes sense,.. But I would have to drive there (only 10-15 mins)

They have a stable available for me now and I can't decide whether to cut and run from this place, or wait until baby is born before upheaving everything...

Any advice welcome! It feels good to get that out!!

 

[ester]

I'd go now, you know the yard, you know what you are moving to. I think once you have had the baby you will appreciate the extra flexbility and the fact you can keep her out year round if you want to.

 

[ossy]

Can you take the risk of not moving now and there being no space at this yard when baby arrives? Could you take the chance of being asked to leave current yard to make way for houses when you have a new born and new yard has no spaces left. If the answer is no to either of these then you need to move now imo.

 

[PorkChop]

I'd move to the other yard, it sounds pretty miserable where you are at the moment even though it is so handy.

When your baby is little the drive to the yard will be perfect for him/her to drop off to sleep

 

[Pinkvboots]

I would move to the other yard it sounds like a better easier option all round and going now would mean when the baby comes the horse is nicely settled in.

 

[Hepsibah]

Agree with all the above and would also add, life is too short to have to faff about trying to avoid someone you'd rather not deal with. Go where you'll be happy. Good luck with the baby too!

 

[julie111]

I would move, your cob could live out happily all year and you will appreciate the extra time you have to look after baby

 

[paddi22]

i'd move now - it will take pressure off you physically coming closer to the birth. Plus the last thing you need is moving yards and lugging stuff with a new baby, so do it now while you can.

 

[Mylife]

It's not just the living out, it's the being told constantly she has mud fever although I check her legs every night, taking off her sweet itch hood because she's sweating except it's not sweat is neem oil, questioning me for wanting to reduce her sugar intake, put downs about her not having shoes on, telling me I'm soaking hay wrong to name a few

 

[Arzada]

It's not just the living out, it's the being told constantly she has mud fever although I check her legs every night, taking off her sweet itch hood because she's sweating except it's not sweat is neem oil, questioning me for wanting to reduce her sugar intake, put downs about her not having shoes on, telling me I'm soaking hay wrong to name a few

Definitely time to move.

 

[paddi22]

i'd be out of there in the morning to the new yard!

 

[Kezzabell2]

if they are going to build on it, it would move sooner rather than later! plus if your sharer is only getting to ride once a week, you don't want her getting bored and finding something else, because sods law would have it that she would find something when you are 8-9 months pregnant and you cant do as much

where as at the new year she will be able to ride more, so will be more likely to stick with you

 

[splashgirl45]

too much risk that your old yard will let the space to someone else. move now before baby comes...good luck

 

[Mylife]

The sharer isn't keen on the distance, but the freedom we get for the lowest livery rates around makes me not mind the short journey! She's said she is willing to do it but would prefer somewhere closer to home, but around here the prices are higher than if we go to the next village

 

[ester]

At the end of the day sharers can up and leave at any time so you need to do what is right for you . I also think you might find it easier to move before the baby is in the way .

 

[Mylife]

Tbf I have lots of support from my partner and his family to get back to riding, dealing with two horses really doesn't appeal to me, I struggle with confidence and that is enough for me to think nah I won't bother, when I was on the old yard it was the most time I'd ever spent in the saddle!

 

[Greylegs]

There is nothing positive about this situation. Move ASAP.

 

[Clodagh]

If you move your sharere wil lbe able to ride more as well, I think? If so, with spring grass on its way and you getting more out of commision I would move straight away.

 

[tankgirl1]

It's not just the living out, it's the being told constantly she has mud fever although I check her legs every night, taking off her sweet itch hood because she's sweating except it's not sweat is neem oil, questioning me for wanting to reduce her sugar intake, put downs about her not having shoes on, telling me I'm soaking hay wrong to name a few

I would move ASAP! My YO was agog that I put my fat hairy cob out naked in the sunshine the other day, despite me telling her repeatedly that she gets sweat scald if I'm not super careful about only rugging her when needed! I'm waiting for a place on another yard...

 

[Dave's Mam]

Move. Just think of the positives & you will be settled by the time Bubba arrives. Good Luck.

 

[maisie06]

Move - the place you are at sounds a nightmare!

 

[wills_91]

I'm another saying move . If you end up having a section or stitches you might be out of action a little bit longer than you are thinking and I imagine you will be a lot less stressed if you have flexibility with care. Could you really trust your current YO to care for your horse the way you want him cared for if you couldn't get up for a couple of weeks?

Good luck with the baby

 

[LittleGinger]

I'd have moved yesterday

OP, your current situation sounds stressful - never a good thing, but right now especially this is the last thing you need!

Also, the flexibility offered by the other place sounds like it will prove invaluable - you can't predict what your days will be like once baby arrives and how you will feel, both physically and emotionally. Anything that eases pressure and stress is worth grabbing. I wish you the best of luck with everything you decide, though, and with the baby of course!

 

[peaceandquiet1]

You are not coping with current situ and will only get worse with a baby-I would move asap in case the baby comes early

 

[Goldenstar]

Move ASAP , the land is going to be covered in houses the sooner you sever your connection with it and get your brain round that the better .

 

[finkle]

think you've go to leave unfortunately.........

 

[el_Snowflakes]

Can you not to speak to your current yard owner and tell her you are struggling with the situation? Surely she would understand, particularly with you being pregnant.

 

[9tails]

Move to the other yard. The only positive to the current yard is location but it's temporary as they're selling for houses.

 

[Mylife]

I have decided to go, any tips on how to tell the yard owner? It's all kicked off today because I went to ask about livery at a local riding school, thinking of be put on a waiting list- and turns out the owner of that yard is friends with the owner of the current yard who now has a knickers in a twist and isnt talking to me, any tips on how to tell her I'm going?

 

[EQUIDAE]

You're 31 weeks pregnant - how much longer are you going to be able to climb that fence? Flippancy aside - go where you are less stressed. New motherhood is going to be hard enough without dealing with nutjobs