Do I take this as complete F up or not too disastrous?

[poiuytrewq]

😩 so new ex racer has been doing ok, after the initial mounting issues etc things have been ok. I usually beg/steal borrow or pay(!) someone to ride my other horse out to nanny us!
This can’t go on long term. He’s been slightly nappy (alternating with v forward!) so we have started going alone on short circular routes he’s comfortable with.
Today I was in two minds at to go, very windy and we’d not been out this week due to one reason or another.
So, anyway we had our usual bit of a nap leaving the yard. Once we are out it’s fine. He marches ahead.
Today however something really scared him. He jammed on and whipped round to run.
Turned him back and let him have a minute then asked again this time not letting him turn. The reactions got more and more extreme and it was genuine fear. Huge wide eyes/ nostrils veins up, shaking, snorting.
We were on a narrow bendy road and horse has a history of “bolting”
I decided I had 3 choices 1-persevere but risk getting ditched or a car coming round the corner and hitting us/ him p’ing off and hitting a car.
2-give in and let him go for home instead or 3- dismount and get him past and the way I wanted to go.
I chose 3! It still took a long time and a lot of perseverance but we did eventually get past and continue the loop (on bloody foot!)
I got home really gutted. What would you have done in this situation?

 

[lottiepony]

Don't feel gutted. Whilst not your original plan you did still complete the loop which I would take as a positive.
These things will happen and it feels like a major step back but I would have said the best option as you both survived!
I would have done the same - not worth risking getting hurt especially on a road and certainly not giving in and going home. Sounds though he really did get himself in a tiz poor boy.
I would say back to a nanny horse again for a few rides to help get his confidence back up.
Also just a random thought but could you ride and lead? Thinking of you being on your other horse?

 

[cobgoblin]

I'd call that a win even if you are a bit miffed.
Did you find out what scared him?

 

[Bellaboo18]

You completed the loop and helped him past his fear. I'd take it as a win!

 

[Jeni the dragon]

I don't think it's a step back either. I think you took the right option for both of you, persevering and going the way you wanted to go. Well done!

 

[Bellaboo18]

Have you got someone that can go out on foot with you? Wondered if you have a non horsey OH so might be easier to find than a rider...

 

[mandyroberts]

You did the right thing. If he was scared with you on foot it sounds like it was dangerous to keep pushing from on board. Did you stay on foot because he was upset or you can't get back on (I have same problem)

 

[tda]

Win from me x

 

[Hormonal Filly]

You done the right thing, I would of done the same! If you got off and went back home I'd say you done the wrong thing and he could potentially learn if he naps he goes home.

Sometimes they get like that randomly, my gelding use to years ago. He now hacks perfectly alone as a 7yr old, but as a 4yr old he was a absolute nightmare. One lady told me I'd never hack that horse alone, give up now. I also found long lining him out helped. Not riding and not leading. He needed to be confident to walk on but I was on the ground for extra confidence. May not be a good idea if he spins, mine use to just plant.

Don't give up! x
Ps, this sounds awful but I found taking a few treats with me and giving them to my gelding half way around was a real treat to him (food orientated!)

 

[poiuytrewq]

I *think the garden we were passing has a new rotary washing line cover, in bright blue which was very flappy with the wind. I’m really not sure though. Could have been an out of place pebble 🤭 to be fair to him he’s not particularly whimpy, not usually and I have spent a lot of time getting his confidence on the ground. He will pass most things led even if scary.
He’s been difficult to mount and we have it sorted at home off a few things now, I had been pretty sure I’d find a wall or something but everywhere’s so overgrown that the walls are pretty covered and as he is I knew I needed something solid and on a safe bit of road.
Ok, so those replies make me feel slightly happier about the situation. I have a friend coming over tomorrow but she’s bringing her own horse instead of using my other one so that will be a new thing aswell. 🤞 that doesn’t upset him!
Next time I plan to go the opposite direction meaning the house in question is on the way home rather than out and we will be on the other side of the road which although narrow I hope will help.
A few treats in my pocket might be a plan!
No-one to come on foot no. OH is über busy combining and I keep them home alone hence hacking alone being important!

 

[rowan666]

Another vote for taking that as a win! It would only be a loss if he wanted you off and you got off but the issue was simply that he was scared and didn't want to go that way. You won him round and got where you wanted to go safely, makes no odds that you were on foot. I bet he'll trust you more next time now

 

[eggs]

I had a tb years ago who although not really nappy was pretty spooky. I quite often would get off to lead him past something although I was always able to get back on to finish the ride. We were always told that we should stay on top but with this horse it worked perfectly well with me leading him past 'scary' things.

 

[SamBean]

Win!! I've had to do this a few times on both mine, dismount and get back on further down the road. Sometimes I've had to at the same spot a second time but once they have passed once you may find he won't bat an eyelid next time. The last time was because a cat was sunning itself on a lane!!

 

[SpringArising]

You did the right thing for you both. The right thing for someone else, or a different horse might have been the first option, or the second. Who knows?

You just deal with each situation as it comes, and do what you think best at the time.

Sometimes it's not a win or a fail, it just ... is.

 

[ycbm]

I would have done what you did. My to never me would have done bomber one. I have more sense/less guts (take your pick!) these days.

It's not a disaster. He wasn't pissing you about, he was scared. You didn't need to 'win' this one.

.

 

[ihatework]

Getting off in that type of situation is never my preferred option but sometimes it’s a sensible one - I’ve done it a handful of times in my life and am confident it was the right decision in the circumstances. You can just feel underneath you when a horse s brain has just gone and isn’t reappearing any time soon.

 

[Carrottom]

I did a very similar thing this morning. Riding back down our own track, less than 250 yards from the yard, a fern had blown down. It only covered half the track, which is wide enough to drive a pick up down but the horse was quite scared.(Rigid and snorting) After a couple of advance and retreats I decided to dismount rather than have him step on himself, or just be passing it as a tractor came along the other side of the hedge.
If I can feel that the fear is genuine I have no problem getting off.

 

[poiuytrewq]

I suppose number 2 wasn’t actually an option. That’s something I have never done and never would really. I have been warned by a few people to hop off if I ever found myself in a complete panic situation with him. He has run off with far better riders than me and it’s always been in my head that I am over horsed really. He’s not the ideal horse for me if I was being sensible but I adore him and hope to make a good go of it! I have tried really hard not to put us in any situation I think I won’t win/handle and so far things have gone well.
Ok so I’ll chalk this one up to experience and start again afresh!
Thank you all so much

 

[Leandy]

You did the right thing. You did the safe thing. I actually would have been ok with 2 also and I don't usually "give in". This doesn't sound like a battle of wills you needed to win, it sounds as though he was genuinely frightened so you needed to give him and you confidence. Next time don't be worried about listening to your gut instincts, you knew today would be a challenge because of wind and lack of exercise, you were proved right and it could have ended in a nasty situation on the road. I'd be kinder on myself in similar circumstances next time and wouldn't attempt it adverse conditions until I was more confident in him. A disaster could indeed set you back. Be conscious to set yourself up to succeed and stay safe.

 

[poiuytrewq]

You did the right thing. You did the safe thing. I actually would have been ok with 2 also and I don't usually "give in". This doesn't sound like a battle of wills you needed to win, it sounds as though he was genuinely frightened so you needed to give him and you confidence. Next time don't be worried about listening to your gut instincts, you knew today would be a challenge because of wind and lack of exercise, you were proved right and it could have ended in a nasty situation on the road. I'd be kinder on myself in similar circumstances next time and wouldn't attempt it adverse conditions until I was more confident in him. A disaster could indeed set you back. Be conscious to set yourself up to succeed and stay safe.

Thank you! I’d been not going in adverse conditions, the farm being so busy at the moment with grain lorries constantly being loaded next to our acceptable mounting areas(!!) and very heavy sudden downpours that I figured I had to man up and get on with it 😂
I find a very fine line between gut instinct and “or is it just nerves!”

 

[poiuytrewq]

That said this is the first time I’ve genuinely felt this situation could go wrong! I’ve surprised myself at how confident I’ve been with him this far.

 

[SpringArising]

I used to think you should never let them 'win' and would put myself in dangerous situations just to prove a point (either to myself or the horse). But that's stupid - it took me a few broken bones to realise! No win is more important than your safety. You've already won if you both get back in one piece no matter how you did it. You can train another day.

 

[AmyMay]

It’s a win from me too. Well handled.

 

[Meredith]

There is no winning or losing, there is just trusting and learning.
I have dismounted many times with new or young horses to get them past frightening gremlins.
In circumstances like yours ( and everyone is different) there is no point in an injured rider and a spoilt horse.

 

[Pearlsasinger]

You definitely did the right thing, imo!
And just to make you feel better about it, my absolutely 'bombproof' Draft mare did something similar at some empty pegs blowing about on a washing line and clicking. We had another horse and rider with us, so she took a lead, otherwise I would have had to do the same as you and dismount.

 

[poiuytrewq]

No I don’t mean winning as such, it wasn’t a fight but could have become one. I just don’t want him to think everything’s a battle but to do things because he’s got a bit of confidence in me not because I’ve walloped him to get my own way.

 

[Pearlsasinger]

No I don’t mean winning as such, it wasn’t a fight but could have become one. I just don’t want him to think everything’s a battle but to do things because he’s got a bit of confidence in me not because I’ve walloped him to get my own way.

And that is what happened today, he passed the scary object because he trusted you to lead him past it

 

[Leandy]

I used to think you should never let them 'win' and would put myself in dangerous situations just to prove a point (either to myself or the horse). But that's stupid - it took me a few broken bones to realise! No win is more important than your safety. You've already won if you both get back in one piece no matter how you did it. You can train another day.

Agree with this.

I find a very fine line between gut instinct and “or is it just nerves!”

Indeed there is but it is worth thinking about what is actually the worse case scenario you are nervous about and what is the likelihood of it happening? Is the fear rational or irrational? If it is rational and the consequences could be nasty, which it seems was the case here, then listen to the nerves. That is what they are for. If it is irrational and the consequences don't really matter in the great scheme of things eg. what if x happens, how embarrassing would that be? or is irrationally focussing on a nasty but exceptionally unlikely event eg "I mustn't do y, I might bring about the destruction of the known world" then crack on and ignore them if you can.

 

[poiuytrewq]

That’s a really good point! It’s rational fear. I’m trying to umm, win a horse over who is a known bad reactor!?!

Coupled with a dodgy hip that I know full well won’t help me out in times of need!

 

[JFTDWS]

I would - and have - done the same. I do think it's the most rational course of action...