Do skinny/gorgeous riders make your blood boil?

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I have just got my pictures back from the weekends dressage- horse looks great and my legs to my shoulders look ok but then you reach my face- I so many chins you would need a bookmark to find my necklace and the face is so red I am blending in with the uprights of merrist wood arena!
I want to be a dressage rider with a size 24inch waist with the waistband under my boobs and lots of bling!!!

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And anyway, its not that perhaps you (not meaning you directely but everyone) are "overweight" (again not meant like that but describes what i mean) its the fact you are underheight!!
lol
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Oh yes. You see in my dreams I am a size 8, tall long legged elegant dressage rider...




....then I wake up
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lol you are me then?!
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Indeed - when I wake up I am several of you.
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Whatever!! I think you'll find that I have the biggest Oakley lorry ever with... GOLD TAPS!!!

HA!!

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Dont think so my lorry is a 75 horse lorry and erm I have ridden the national winner twice in the past two years...
 
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haha lol.how can you be 14 and drive??? =] lol

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(Ssh... I am not really 14, am crap at dressage, and don't have an Oakley lorry with or without gold taps.) I do drive a sports car though!!
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Whatever!! I think you'll find that I have the biggest Oakley lorry ever with... GOLD TAPS!!!

HA!!

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Dont think so my lorry is a 75 horse lorry and erm I have ridden the national winner twice in the past two years...

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I thought you'd ridden it 4 times in the last 2 years?
You best not be lying to us?!
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Whatever!! I think you'll find that I have the biggest Oakley lorry ever with... GOLD TAPS!!!

HA!!

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Dont think so my lorry is a 75 horse lorry and erm I have ridden the national winner twice in the past two years...

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OH MY GOD! I SO CAN'T BELIEVE YOU JUST SAID THAT!

I won the Grand national when I was 5, Burghly twice at 6 & 7 and rode in the Olympics 4 times and have so many lorries and horses and stuff I don't even know all their names so there!
 
I am pretty slim, and i can look all colour co-ordinated and gorgeous ............... then i leave the house and cycle up to the yard .. mistake
1 - at some point on my bike ride a car will drive past to close and splash me - cue little mud splatter on clean gorgeous johds
2 - BIG hill on way to yard, by the time i arrive i have a face that radiates more heat than the sun, my gorgeous top is stuck like glue to my back and my legs feel like jelly
3 - vending machine at yard ... cue me having a ginger beer to cool down, of course, being me as i open it it goes EVERYWHERE. nice leather boots are now coated in fizzy drink and dust and straw sticks like nothing else.
4 - fetch pony from field, in itself not a mistake, but the treat was, pony smears green treaty gloop over my back
5 - grooming - pony is grey, jumper is dark blue - the less said the better.
6 - riding, suffice to say ridin makes the bike ride up to the yard seem easy
7 - mucking out, its not done properly till your wearing half the bedding and hay


and so my days at the yard continue, suffice to say that when i get home my OH ask where the sexy beast in johds has gone? and why has she been replaced by a smelly tramp!

on the plus side all the exercise keeps me skinny (ish)
 
Oh Baggage., welcome to my world! I have lost about a stone & 1/2 this year from having ponio, however, used to look after my hair, nails, shave my legs more than once every 6 weeks (OH works abroad) and take some form of pride in my appearance. So.. My OH loves the fact I've lost weight,,, but hates the fact that " I don't look after myself anymore"!

Bloody cheek!!
 
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i used to keep my horse at livery, and the groom there wore cream jodhs every day, and they were as immaculate at the end of the day at the beginning, she never got hoof oil on them, horses didn't smear their food all over her... unbelievable.

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Are you sure the jodhs she had on at the end of the day were the same pair she had on at the start of the day?
 
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i used to keep my horse at livery, and the groom there wore cream jodhs every day, and they were as immaculate at the end of the day at the beginning, she never got hoof oil on them, horses didn't smear their food all over her... unbelievable.

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Are you sure the jodhs she had on at the end of the day were the same pair she had on at the start of the day?

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Good conspiracy theory!!!
 
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I might be getting defensive - cos Im world featherweight champion - how bout that for an accolade? :-P

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Dont even try an outdo me with a result like that, I am the Heavyweight champion so will beat you easily!!
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Well I am Barbie so am obviously a million times better than you and ahve longer legs and won Baminton and Burghley as well as the Derbythis year, so nur to you.

My lorry has platinum taps and a jacuzzi in the luton.
 
LOL wel Im skinny but always look like Ive been dragged through a hedge backwards after Ive been up the yard.

Beau decided the other day to give me a kiss after licking his horselyx, it wasnt until I saw my reflection in esco that I reaised I have abig brown stripe across my face, and of course hay in my hair.

happens all the time, its like you can always spot the weekend riders in shops because they are aways clean, you can normally tell the owner by the trail of mud and hay and the smell of horse poo!
 
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i used to keep my horse at livery, and the groom there wore cream jodhs every day, and they were as immaculate at the end of the day at the beginning, she never got hoof oil on them, horses didn't smear their food all over her... unbelievable.

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Are you sure the jodhs she had on at the end of the day were the same pair she had on at the start of the day?

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I bet she cheated & brought 6 pairs to the yard with matching tops.
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And the car is bloody useless! I can't fit enough feed or shavings in it and it stinks of horse! It's a sports car on the outside - 4 x 4 on the inside!
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Well I am Barbie so am obviously a million times better than you and ahve longer legs and won Baminton and Burghley as well as the Derbythis year, so nur to you.

My lorry has platinum taps and a jacuzzi in the luton.

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I bet you fall over with baps like that though!!
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God yes I am so envious of those riders!!
But what it is more than anything else is that they seem to be able to afford the expensive clothes that make them look good. Its all this pikeur/ladedah stuff they wear ( dont even know the labels!) also they can afford the haircuts.manicures etc etc so always look immaculate. Oh and the expensive Gucci sunglasses to wear on their heads over the immaculate hair.
I worked for a certain young event rider who is on all the senior teams, and she always looked perfect and as tho she was about to go to the ball almost! ( hands/nails were always immaculate-never done a hard days work ever I think!)
My clothes are about 10 years old and dead scruffy so I look like I live in a haystack anyway!
 
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