do you connect with your horse

jensheff26

jensheff26

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my cob lucky is the most honest mare ever we have a really good connection and we seem to understand each other, my other cob is the opposite altho she is a sweetie i just dont seem to be connecting with her as much as i try to it ends up in a big argument im now wondering how long i should let this go on for before i decide to sell her has anyone else had this problem before
 
Do you compare them and expect them to be the same? Or do you treat them as individuals? If its the former then maybe thats why you dont get on? Because you expect one cob to be just like lucky and shes not?
 
no i treat them as individuals they both ride very different and have different personalities, altho i love her to bits we just have a battle in whatever we do im honestly starting to think that she would be better suited to someone else
 
Yes, I have a wonderful connection with both my mare and my wee foaly....


My fist connects on a particularly good level with stroppy diva mares head...:eek:

As does my boot with with my little foalys bum...:eek:

Both connections are made regularly :D:D:D:D
 
My foal and I connect on a level I've never experienced before. My OH's horse tolerates me. Our mare hates all people.
 
queenbee said:
Yes, I have a wonderful connection with both my mare and my wee foaly....


My fist connects on a particularly good level with stroppy diva mares head...:eek:

As does my boot with with my little foalys bum...:eek:

Both connections are made regularly :D:D:D:D
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Is that a joke?
 
LaurenM said:
Although some horses just aren't bothered by people.
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^^ This was my old cob. Never nasty or anything just not interested in people, he would much rather be perminantly left in the field and ignored. I still loved him dearly though but didnt have that "connection" - still visit him and love it though!!

But myself and my newest boy have finally got that "connection" after a year of arguments and dominance battles - he now knows his place and is so so affectionate :)
 
Honey hasnt had a fab life, i dont think shes ever connected with anyone and at 13, i think i have the best i can hope for with a mutual agreement! Eg you behave and i will give you sweeties :p

With Mysti, we just seem to click :D
 
I think that although we should do our best to work around problems we have, some horse/rider combinations just clash, much like some relationships between people just don't work. I too think you have answered your question. If you feel that it's not going to get better, you may be better off finding her a new (compatible :p) owner.

I'm lucky that I have now found a horse that I have clicked with like I have never done before. We seem to get on like a house of fire :D
 
teddyt said:
Is that a joke?
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no I am utterly serious, I beat my horses at least 5 x a day each, :p they like it, :D :D and it lets them know who's boss :eek:



Teddyt I would think by the :eek:'s and the :D's I used in my post that yes you can safely assume that I am not a horse beater!,:D failing that feel free to trawl through my past posts for any sign of violent tendencies:p
 
not really....

shes a nice little mare and dont get my wrong she has a home for life... but we just havent clicked... :o

if we dont click after a few more months and im ready to murder her.... i will find her another rider lol!...
 
i ride her a lot different to my other one maiinly because my cob lucky is a real handfull and it takes me all the time to keep her calm, in the past she has had a very different owner to me she has been owned by a very novice and just plodded about a lot i think this is where we are clashing and she is now resenting me for making her work and is affecting how she is with me on the ground as well as ridden,
 
OP- Could there be a physical reason why she doesnt want to work? Have you had a ny lessons to try and get a better partnership?

Or maybe shes just not the horse for you

queenbee- I had to ask, you never know on here!:)
 
I didn't click with my mare until I'd had her 18 months and had to nurse her for 6 weeks after she got blood poisoning from a haematoma that was the size of a basketball. (After a fall against a fence). She was so ill that even when the vet took a scalpel and sliced open the haematoma to drain it she didn't even flinch! Her wound had to be syringed clean twice a day and her stable disinfected twice a day till the wound had healed closed. (She wasn't allowed any bedding for fear of infection). So we spent quite a bit time together and get to know each other very well. Now I can do whatever I want with her whenever I want.
 
jensheff26 said:
my cob lucky is the most honest mare ever we have a really good connection and we seem to understand each other, my other cob is the opposite altho she is a sweetie i just dont seem to be connecting with her as much as i try to it ends up in a big argument im now wondering how long i should let this go on for before i decide to sell her has anyone else had this problem before
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Is it your new cob your worried about? If it is I wouldn't be too bothered by not having bonded with her yet. After only a few weeks you're both still new to each other.

Plus some horses just don't bond as quickly or easily as others. My cob's very affectionate and very much a people horse, and we do seem to have a bond, as he does with all the family, while me hunter just isn't as fussed after mainly being left, it's only now after 6 months of me dealing with him pretty much every day that I feel we're forming a bond, and I still get bothered that we don't have one as he's not as affectionate as Herc and I often forget that, it's only the very little things that show we have such as him making a fuss if he see's me come out of another stable.
 
teddyt said:
OP- Could there be a physical reason why she doesnt want to work? Have you had a ny lessons to try and get a better partnership?

Or maybe shes just not the horse for you

queenbee- I had to ask, you never know on here!:)
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point taken and agreed with :)

*trundles off to give horses one last good 'connection before bed :eek: ;)
 
I like my young girly but honestly, do I connect with brown horse? No I don't think so. But I don't really care to. We aren't ever going to be best buddies but we get along ok. It's similar to you OP. No one has made him work before and he resents it. I figure I'll just keep going and maybe he'll come to accept that work just happens. If not we'll continue battling indefinitely because I am very stubborn!

If it is getting you down that you don't click and you have given it a good go don't let anyone make you feel bad for letting her move on. She may be the love of someone else's life and you may find yours too.
 
starsnrunes i know it does take a while for a bond to form with a lot of horses and am probably just being daft about it and thinking too much ( its what i do best ) i do worry about them constantly, i just wouldnt like her to not be happy in the long term, am sure she would seriously let me know if she wasnt,
jesstickle thats what it feels like with her shes really resenting me at the minute for making her work, and for such a big overweight cob she does need work,
 
I think she may well get used to work and learn to love it and perhaps you will get along better then? Perhaps once she is fitter and it become easier to her she'll want to be your friend.

I get full on evils from the brown horse. Even when I'm riding him my RI laughs because he is rolling his eyes at me. I'm hoping it's just a phase.
 
i am the same, i own a gelding and a mare and i connect with the gelding very well but the mare i just don't click with when i ride her, on the ground we are fine but when ridden we clash, and its not because i don't treat her as an individual because i ride my friends gelding and get on with him fine. some horses you just don't connect with.
 
I think some horses are more open to peolpe than others. My mare doesn't do people but having owned her a year now she is warming up to me :) she still has her frosty moments but you will learn your mares likes and dislikes it just takes time and patience and careful watching of her reactions to things. You are probably right, her weight if as you said she is slightly portly will make her dislike work more but can you find something she does enjoy more. My mare hates going in the school and I have to try really hard to keep her interested and make it fun - as such when I get time to ride she loves hacking and is very very nosey ;)

I once had a gelding who was totally shut down from people and very rarely tried to communicate with anyone and it was really sad. He tolerated people, was well behaved but you never felt he wanted to do stuff or be with you given the choice. It took me 4 years to start to get to know him but he was a very complex character.

Try just spending some time with her and stroking and touching her and see how she reacts - tune into her. I am not a crack pot but I do believe that you can learn a lot from just observing and being with your horse. Enjoy her x
 
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