DO YOU EVER GET OVER THE LOSS OF A HORSE?????

N

NIKKI1974

Well-Known Member
Joined
15 November 2007
Messages
1,228
Visit site
HI AM NEW TO THIS SO PLEASE BEAR WITH ME! THIS MAY SOUND DAFT TO MANY PEOPLE BUT WONDER IF ANY ONE HAD ANY SUGGESTIONS! ABOUT A YEAR AND A HALF AGO I HAD TO HAVE MY ARAB MARE PUT DOWN SHE WAS 27 YEARS OLD AND I GOT HER WHEN SHE WAS THREE YEARS OLD . I WAS JUST A KID AND WE GREW UP TOGEGTHER ACHIEVING MANY GREAT THINGS TOGETHER THE FUN WE HAD WAS UNBELIEVABLE AND HAD A BOND THAT MOST HORSE OWNERS DREAM OF HAVING.I THOUGHT THAT HAVING MY PART BRED YOUNGSTER WOULD EASE THE PAIN OF THE LOSS WHEN THE TIME CAME FOR ME TO SAY GOODBYE TO HER BUT HERE I AM A YEAR AND A HALF LATER STILL FEELING DISTRAUGHT .DOES THE PAIN EVER GO AWAY I STILL CANT COME TO TERMS WITH THE LOSS . ANY SUGGESTIONS OR ADVICE PLEASE !!!!!!!!
 
Welcome to the forum. Sorry to be fussy but please try not to use capitals all the time
smile.gif


As for your post, I think it is hard. Never forget her and just think about all the good times you had together, don't be negative. You did what was right and she is much happier now
smile.gif
 
Time. I don;t think you will ever forget and will always have days when you feel sad, but, in time, it really does get easier. Don't look at your new horse as a 'replacement', because you will never replace your original mare, but will be an additional friend.

Welcome to the Forum board - but please turn off your caps, it looks as if you are shouting.
 
oh dear, so sorry for your loss... ((((hugs)))
have you talked to anyone about how you are feeling?may help you to get it all out
When my horse was pts i made a scrap book of loads of piccies, rossettes wed won, various bits and bobs that reminded me of her etc and sort of wrote a diary thing of all the best times with her in it... really helped me come to terms with it
it is the most awful feeling and it WILL get better, these things do take a long time to heal... good luck - try and focus your energy on your youngster to try and create a strong bond with him/her.
 
Appologies to everyone for writing in capitals thanks for pointing this out unfortunately i write in capitals too what a nightmare. The one thing that does help me is knowing that hopefully she did not suffer and i made the choice at the right time but sometimes you wonder if maybe there was something else you could have done.thanks for your reply every ones suggestions are appreciated believe me x
 
It is quite normal to wonder if you could have done more, but you must convince yourself that you did the very best thing for your mare. I have no doubts that you are very caring horse owner who did the best - albeit the hardest thing - you can ever do. I respect anyone who makes that decision rather than allows an animal to linger on. Remember all the good times you had with your mare, so that you can smile about the fact YOU were the one who got to share her life.
 
I don't believe you can ever truly 'get over' losing a horse; however it is possible to move on, and still be able to look back and appreciate the wonderful times you shared.

I lost a horse who I had rescued, just 7 months after he came to us. He was only ten, but had been treated horrifically, and I was the only person he could bring himself to trust. Even though I only knew him a short while, he became my best friend, and so to lose him to a heart attack in front of my eyes broke me completely. The best way I found to get through was, intially at least, through writing; I wrote his story, as well as a few poems which were, I'm afraid to say, highly preoccupied with death.
frown.gif
but it helped me get through, as did throwing myself into helping friends out with their horses, until I could bring myself to get my own again.

Seven years on, I have another soulmate. She will never replace Mickey, and I still think of him often. But Ellie is one in a million, in her own right, and I will forever be grateful to Mickey, for if I had not known him, I would never have been able to get Ellie.
 
Thanks for taking the time to respond i have only talked to my parents really it took a good eight months before i could talk about it and even then i would end up crying and have to change the subject. Even now when someone mentions her name i get choked . I thought about making a scrapbook as you have done and mayb this should be my task at the weekend .People i know just say to me "get over it its just a horse move on" she was also my best buddy , for twenty four years she was my life. My new boy is equally as stunning crazy like she was but completely different in personality but we are forming a bond slowly , i just hope that i can love him in the same way as i did her.!!!!!! x
 
I carried a lot of "emotional" baggage around with me when I had my tb pts - I had TFT (Thoughtfield Therapy) which helped me immensely - It totally made things easier for me and it made my relationship with my current horse that much stronger.
If you want to look into this check out www.jocooper.com and www.thoughtfieldtherapy.co.uk both explain what TFT is.
Good luck - and huge hugs - it's awful when we lose a friend.
Kate x
 
dont think you ever get over it but it does get easier to talk about them and not to cry as time goes on. I lost a fantastic horse in a freak accident whom i bred, i cried every night for 2yrs and was a complete wreck, i couldnt eat or sleep for months, i felt so overwhelmed in grief, it was horrendous
 
I am amazed by the amount of people who have responded to my question so far! i really thought people would think i was some sort of freak because of the way i feel and reading your stories and comments i can see that im not alone and not the only one to have felt such pain. I hope i can take this on board and try and find myself again!
 
I don't think you do ever get over the loss - you just get more used to it.
I had my best friend, Jake pts very suddenly when he was only 15 - he had a severe colic attack - probably a ruptured stomach. I agonised for ages whether I should have done more for him - maybe surgery would have saved him, but in the end I realised I had done the right thing.
The shock of being without him devastated me - I had hacked him out on a lovely sunny day the day before he was pts - and suddenly he wasn't there anymore.
I cried so much but then one day I was with my new horse who took me on the most amazing hack - we galloped over stubble fields and had such a wonderful day, I rode home in floods of tears - part happy tears but partly because I felt guilty that I had enjoyed riding my new horse more than I did Jake (he wasn't so well behaved!). I think I cried so much I really turned a point and was able to bond with my new horse and accept that Jake had gone.
Please be happy that you had your horse for as long as you did. You are not expected to get over the loss but you will get used to it.
Have fun with your young horse and make the most of having her/him because one day you'll have to say goodbye.
 
I lost my pony willie only 2 weeks ago, he was my best friend in the world. I'm not coping very well with it, I haven't slept right since and eating well I only do that when I'm force to. I can be driving alone and next minute am crying my eyes out. yesterday someone said to me how sorry they were to hear about willie i manged to talk to them and then went round the corner and fell into a bale of hay and cry so hard. I know how you feel and if you need/want to talk am here.

One thing that is giving me strength every day to go to the yard and face my other horses is this place and the people here their the best .
 
Hi im really sorry for your tragic loss i find myself reading everyones stories and advice and it makes me cry so many people willing to share such painfull experiences and being able to share their feelings with complete strangers. Its the first time i have have been able to ask for help and advice and say how i feel , i really hope you too can come through this it is heartbreaking i really could have moved away from owning more horses and jacked it all in,IM GLAD I DIDNT. For me horses are my life they have some sought of magic about them that nothing can even come close to. keep in touch .Thanks to everyone who has also given me websites to visit i will be checking them all out i think others will do the same thanks to your kind responses x
 
(((((Hugs)))))

You will always remember her but you will get over the loss. No horse will ever be the same, as you gave her so much of your life, but each one is different. Embrace and enjoy your young horse now.

XXXXXXXXX
 
Sorry for your horse, don't try to get over it, just remember the good times. I had a horse die, she was lovely, she also died the same week as my Mum, which kind of put it in perspective. Poor old Holly, no one really thought about her and her foal dying as it all got a bit over shadowed.
 
Oh poor you...

I know exactly how you feel. I lost my best friend in Feb this year after a 6 month hard fought battle with illness that we thought we'd won. At the time, I was absolutely devastated - I felt like I'd run head first into a brick wall. I just didn't know how to carry on without Catembi.

There are no wrongs & rights for grief - it takes as long as it takes. Everyone is different so don't feel that you 'should' be 'over' your horse by now.

Someone on here said something to me that was incredibly helpful & I'll pass it on in case it helps you. They said that there was no need to stop loving Cat or 'get over' him - I could love him in parallel with other horses. We always referred to Cat as the 3rd member of the family, & now that I've got Adrian, he's the 4th member of the family as Cat's place will never be vacant.

As soon as the pressure was off to 'get over' him, & I realised that I could love him for the rest of my life if I wanted, I started to feel better.

Please PM me if you'd like to?

T xx
 
Im 16 and i lost my first pony aged 27 last year and it was the worst weekend of my life and reading your post made me cry as i remember how bad it was and how bad it can still be, like his birthday and we just had the year anniverasy of his when he was put to sleep. He was an anglo arab who was the best pony in the world tome. He was totally mad until he wasn't well enough to be and taught me everything i knowabout staying in the saddle my mum always said she'd never seen anytrhing so small (13.2) go so fast, he was on rocket fuel. i can't put into words how much i loved himhe was everything to me and my best friend. I got another horse who i love dearly now but it took months for me to bond with him. I feel sad now that I didn't bond sooner but i was so upset and i have my horses at home so my loss seemed more as i spent every single spare minute with him. I did a scrapbook and had every piciture developedand i will never ever forget him. The hurt never goes away but i can smile now. and i love my new boy and he has helped so much. xxxxx
 
Hi Honey I am so pleased you have used the forum to what it is so special for and that you are benefitting and please, if you need to talk or shout or cry when we next ride out, dont be embarrassed. It is sometimes easier to talk to someone you dont know very well and I have broad shoulders that are good to carry tears and willing to offer hugs xx This post should now tell you what my username is xx
 
Ah thankyou means a lot ! most days i manage to put a smile on my face but every now and then it all gets a bit too much for me . When we rode out the other day i think i probably bored you with stories of meesha and her uncanny knack of causing as much chaos as she could. Made me laugh when we rode through christ hospital school and remembering the day she took off and ploughed right through the middle of a rugby match it brought back some awesome memories. Thanks for reminding me how good it is to get back in the saddle again you re a star ! Hey look at you on that sexy horse HOYS here we come hope me and gizmo will be there too .THATS IF I CAN GET HIM ON THE BOX SEVEN HOURS IS THE TIME TO BEAT!!!!!!!!!X
 
Hi, I am very sorry for your loss
frown.gif
I have never got over the loss of Treasure, Saf's mum. I always wonder if there was more I could have done, she had cushings and lost her to the disease in March 2004, I still have the vivid picture of her in my mind that morning and even typing this have tears in my eyes, I have so many fantastic memories I only need to close my eyes and I can see her
grin.gif
RIP Treasure
Time does heal but luckily the memories survive
grin.gif
 
MEESHA had all the signs of cushings and had all the tests,she had several bouts of laminitis and i truely thought that i would lose her to this. i really am sorry for your loss.In the end she had accute weight loss and tests showed she had salmonella she was not strong enough to fight it so i had to make the decision to give her to the field in the sky! Two days later i collapsed and it turned out that i had caught it from her exactly the same strain i cant imagine how it felt for her she couldnt tell me where it hurt or that she was hungry but couldnt eat it was heartbreaking and something that i cant get my head round!!!!!
 
If you arent already a member you might want to join the IH Forum and look at Rainbow bridge--a place for memories of friends we hope to meet again
http://www.intelligenthorsemanship.co.uk/

It is very hard, I lost my flock of sheep and baby lambs in the 2001 FMD cull and soon after put an old pony to sleep, he is buried in the field so I go and talk to him sometimes.
 
Cant imagine how difficult that was for you really i cant it was hard enough to watch this on the news and then to lose the pony life really does throw some cruel blows. although my horse had to be cremated i still go to the spot in the field where she was put down and talk to her ,Everyday when i walk past her stable i still expect to see her put her head over the door when i whistle and neigh to me. And i know the other horses knew too my boy especially although they didnt see eye to eye when he expected her to chase him and play. thanks for sharing your story i hope you never have to go through such an ordeal again!!!! x
 
hi socks, i reckon that you might start to build more of a bond with gizmo when you break him and start riding together, its a real shared experience and you "feel" eachother a bit more i think (i hope). lets aim for hoys (haha) together then, my boy can be his travelling partner and we are very much looking forward to another nice ride out tomorrow. stay off the wine tonight and this will help you feel better too. You will never bore me with stories of meesha, shame i didnt know her better but lets hope i get to know you better and that you've found another horsey friend to talk to, cry on and hopefully being to enjoy riding / horsey life again (non worky i mean) xx ps your posts are even bringing tears to my eyes so heaven knows how you feel x
 
I lost one of my mares to colic 2 1/2 years ago, leaving me with her 1 week old orphan foal. I still well up when I think of her or look at old photos. I just treasure the memories and the time we did have together. Her son belongs to a dear friend of mine and its wonderful to see him growing up and know a little part of her is still around.
 
I had a little 14hh show hunter pony who I had to have PTS 3 years ago. He was absolutley my world and was so special to me for so many reasons. I went from a pony that I just had to think left and he would turn, to a 4yo Luso that reared all the time and had no respect for me at all. My horse's behaviour made me miss my pony even more and sometimes I questionned if I'd bought the right horse for me ! Luckily my horse is much better behaved these days and finally respects me. He is now my world but in a completely different way to my old pony. I had conselling to help me overcome my grief which definitely helped. I still think about my pony and still have the odd teary moment but it does get easier in time, particularly as your bond grows with your new horse. Lot sof hugs to you
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Top