Do you ever stop missing them?

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Snowfilly

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Five years after my horse of a lifetime went over the bridge, and I still have the odd time where I find myself crying over him.

Today, I passed a lady and a beautiful grey, riding long distance through Cornwall. Saddlebags, maps, just like me and him used to do and Im sitting here crying because I'd give anything to have him back for.one last long ride. They looked so happy together and I was so jealous of her.

Which is terrible. I work with horses, me and Mum have our own still. I'm just starting, finally, to look for a competition sort as well as my Clyde, who is lovely but can't jump, and all I want is him back.

I've lost three others of mine, and many more that I've loved, and I miss them, like I miss him, but he's the only one that I still cry for occasionally.

Sorry for the maudlin and rambling post...but is there ever a day when you do stop missing them?
 
Quite simply no. I lost one 11 years ago and her ashes are sat in my living room. I dont cry when i think of her anymore where as i still cry over the one i lost in february. Both never made it past early teens. The first was to colic following colic surgery and the one in february was brain damage from a skull fracture.
 
I still have days where I can barely breathe for sobbing about torres. And I only had him seven months, probably rode him less than twenty times and he caused an insane amount of stress. but I miss him every day and some days it's unbearable, especially the guilt.

Xx
 
No, you don't ever 'stop' missing them (speaking from pets), you may shed less tears as the time goes along, but you never completely stop missing them. We lost our cat of a lifetime in May (PTS), and my goodness I miss her. I think I shed at least one tear when I think of her a day, or hear a song that reminds me of her. x
 
I've got two lovely horses - a Welsh D mare and a traddie cob, but I still shed a tear occasionally for my two old boys:-

First one (dapple grey/pony) I lost 30 years ago.

Second one (bay/horse) I lost 10 years ago.

Both "horses in a million". Hardly a day goes by when I don't think of them.............

As someone else has said, it can be something really silly like a song on the radio that just sets you right back into that time-frame when you lost them, which is why, when I know something is coming up to the PTS decision stage, there's something in me now that makes a subconscious decision to NOT listen to the radio, watch the telly etc as I don't want whatever's on there to start haunting me in say 10 years time. I've got a musical ear, and know it, and it doesn't take much for me to remember something and subconsciously "tag" it with a sad event, and then have it come back many years later when its on the radio again.
 
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Did he die unexpectedly/quite young?

Mine was 7 and snatched so cruelly in her prime that I don't think I will ever get over it.

I've lost a lot of animals I had amazing bonds with (I'm a shepherd so have a fair number of sheep dogs and spend more time with them than humans!) but that horse is the hardest loss to bear.

I've got another horse that's probably actually far more talented than she was and whom I love but I still cry for her sometimes. I also recently got another one the same breed and colour as the one who died. She has a lot of similarities to her and I often think my mare is looking down on me riding this horse with the same bloody quirks as she had having a good old laugh. Having the similar one has helped. Don't really know why. It's not like a replacement but she's helped me move on a bit more.

Hopefully if you get another lovely one to jump etc that will help you too.
 
My lad is still alive but he isn't with me. I see him every day, and each time it gets harder to walk past him. The worst thing is he still calls out to me, even after I let him down. I never should have sold him, it seemed like the best thing at the time. There's nothing more in the world I regret, I'd do anything to get him back. I think that's the worst thing, knowing he's still here. Even now, I sit sobbing to the point I can't breathe because I miss him. My boy now is amazing and everything I didn't want but need but I'd still kill to get my oldie back. My condolences to everyone that's lost any animal :(
 
I still have the odd wobbly moment over mine that I lost over 2 years ago now. A few weeks ago went to my first event over 2 days that required sleeping over and was suddenly really sad that it wasn't with him. As I was still at school / college / uni when I had the first horse I was rather skint so we didn't go out and about that much sadly and I'd always planned to rectify that when I was working. Said horse had a deterioration in his arthritis that meant I struggled to keep him field sound nvm ride him at around the time I got my first "proper" job and eventually felt it was kindest to PTS. He was only 18 and I'd always envisioned him living well into his 20s or 30s. After a few false starts due to lameness and other problems I'm finally getting the new one properly out and about and doing stuff and it does feel a bit odd sometimes.
 
I think you allways miss them, but as time goes by it becomes less raw...unless, as its been siad, a song, or a place , or seeing another similar looking horse or some such trigger opens old wounds. Sometimes very surprisingly.

I am not immune to this at all, but try to think that its because the horses and cats I have lost were so special to me and were loved so much, they have a pull on my heart after in some cases, decades.
So I consider myself lucky and very proud that those creatures shared my life, had good lives themselves no matter how long they lived, and my life would have been much poorer without them.

Basically, you have a generous heart and are sensitive, which is a good thing xxxxxxx
 
It's 3 years this December since I lost my gorgeous Clydesdale boy, Goliath. I still get upset when I think of him. I think it just gets a little easier to live with the hurt, though it never truly leaves you xx
 
You always miss them. I'm lucky that our horses have lived to old age. One lost at age 28yrs and more recently our old boy at 34yrs. If I feel a bit upset about them I go and look at some old photos, just to remind myself what they were like in their prime.
 
Any person or creature who enters your life and who makes a big impression upon you is one you will miss when they are not there. When you have that bond between you and its broken its a painful thing and that pain never fully goes away.

Over time it gets easier to mange for most, though it depends. If one is unlucky enough to be the cause or to blame ones self for the departure/loss of a loved one then such pains can last a lot longer.

There is no shame in crying nor letting the emotions out; indeed to do so is perfectly normal and healthy; far healthier than trying to bottle it up and deny those feelings a release.


But its important to take on new things, to fill life again with newness. Could be a hobby or work or new friends or a new pet or mount. Whatever it is its important to keep living and to "move on". Moving on isn't about forgetting nor replacing that loved one; its about continuing to live a full life. It's about letting the loss not crush you.

It's for that reason that some say that you never get over the loss of a pet until you get a new one. Even then you're not forgetting the old, just moving on with life and filling some of that gap left with a new companion.
 
Snowfilly said:
Five years after my horse of a lifetime went over the bridge, and I still have the odd time where I find myself crying over him.

Today, I passed a lady and a beautiful grey, riding long distance through Cornwall. Saddlebags, maps, just like me and him used to do and Im sitting here crying because I'd give anything to have him back for.one last long ride. They looked so happy together and I was so jealous of her.

Which is terrible. I work with horses, me and Mum have our own still. I'm just starting, finally, to look for a competition sort as well as my Clyde, who is lovely but can't jump, and all I want is him back.

I've lost three others of mine, and many more that I've loved, and I miss them, like I miss him, but he's the only one that I still cry for occasionally.

Sorry for the maudlin and rambling post...but is there ever a day when you do stop missing them?
Click to expand...

No. But you get used to living without them. 😥
 
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