Do you struggle to get people to come to events with you??

M

Muddyboots

Well-Known Member
Joined
2 November 2011
Messages
301
Visit site
I do! I seem to have done alright this year as there was another person eventing on the yard so we would go together. But she is in her early 50’s, horse hasn’t gone too well this season so she is going to stick to low key unafil dressage and sj from now on.

My friend used to always come with me but she has now moved away. Another friend comes with me when she can but she has her own youngster so will be doing bits with him next year. Her family don’t live locally so she is away a lot.

I don’t have a mum or dad. I have a lovely aunty, but she is mid 60’s, lives 150 miles away and is full time carer for my Gran. She will come and visit when she can – 1 or 2 times a year but she struggles to get away.

I live near York but am not from the area. I have made friends over the last 4 years but many do there own thing on a weekend either with there families or with there own horse. Non seem to event at intro level!

My husband will come with me but under sufferance. He hates my lorry (doesn’t understand why I would want to keeo it when I could use his 4x4 – that’s a whole other post!) so whinges the whole time. He is self employed and works 6 days a week. Eventing rarely takes half a day, it is always a long day, so I think it is unfair to continually expect him to use up his only free day horseing.

My husband would come if I was really stuck but I see myself being stuck every event next year so it wont take long for him to loose his patience!

I am entered at Askern Bryan Sunday and have no one to travel with me so going to see how I get on going solo but I am worried I am not going to enjoy it without someone by my side??

What has anyone else done in this sinerio?? Has anyone actually given up because of this??

I am feeling sorry for myself - can you tell!
 
I know how you feel.
I can only tow one horse as he won't travel with company so can't take any one else with me. Horse is lousy to load and I need help to get the back bar up before he runs of backwards. He also won't tie on the outside of the trailer so need someone with him at all times so I can't go aways without help. My husband has been coming with me but last weeks rearing full height for an hour before loading both ways has scared him (understandably) and he doesn't really want to come again.
Really peed off, I have transport for the first time ever but loading issues stop me travelling alone and I don't have many horsey friends I can ask.
 
I met someone at camp last week, who is in a similar predicament to me (can only travel one horse & struggles to get help) and we are going to go to a few local things together (but not in same transport) so I just need to figure out the loading again....
 
I normally go on my own. From 9 events this year I have had a friend for the duration at 1. Although at several friends have turned up and helped but they weren't guaranteed to an weren't there for the duration. Although an extra pair of hands is handy it isn't essential. Someone I know has on occasion had three at an event with no assistance although for me that is totally OTT!!
 
Maybe i just need to man up and have confidence in myself that i can cope on my own! (1 on my own sounds like hardwork - cant imagine 3!!)
 
Vodkagirly said:
I know how you feel.
I can only tow one horse as he won't travel with company so can't take any one else with me. Horse is lousy to load and I need help to get the back bar up before he runs of backwards. He also won't tie on the outside of the trailer so need someone with him at all times so I can't go aways without help. My husband has been coming with me but last weeks rearing full height for an hour before loading both ways has scared him (understandably) and he doesn't really want to come again.
Really peed off, I have transport for the first time ever but loading issues stop me travelling alone and I don't have many horsey friends I can ask.
Click to expand...

Ive been there! Spent hours going up and down the ramp with mine until he loaded so i could go on my own if i needed to! Do you have friends who can meet you there to help load and someone who can help you the yard end??
 
OP it can easily be done from a practical point of view, as long as your horse is reasonably cooperative and you are very organised. I've spent years eventing alone, sometimes one, often two and rarely three - which I agree with S_C is a bit fraught and not much fun :o

It seems to me what you really need is some eventing buddies, so that even if you travel alone you will know people when you get there - that's been how it has worked for me, so I've never felt lonely or isolated. Meeting people isn't that hard - especially if you are competing alone, because you almost have to talk to your lorry park neighbours ("Can you hold him while I grab my headcollar?" "What's number 12 I can't remember?" etc etc) but another great way to meet people is at training. I'd look at the BE training available in your area and get yourself to some of that, you'll meet loads of like-minded people at a similar level, and then when you go eventing next season you'll be surrounded by mates :)
 
I'm very fortunate in that I have a great support 'team' of friends who happily come with me to events and in return I buy their food. It's certainly something I don't take for granted and I am incredibly grateful for their help! I do dressage though so it's not quite so time consuming as eventing!
 
Hola!

I'm in the same boat as you! My mum and dad moved miles away and husband isn't horsey and plays golf every spare second.

I set up a website for this reason entirely which is designed to help people network and arrange lifts or to meet up with peopel out schooling/competing etc. It has worked to some extent but mostly I think it benefitted me..! I've been conscious to use it and I've made a number of friends through it and we all tend to catch up at events. We also try very hard to park next eachother or close so we can help eachother out.

It is hard though. Have you thought about moving to a yard where there are more people who compete? Its a shame you aren't from Surrey / Berks!
 
I enjoy going to shows on my own, its nice to have someone to help but I don't let it hold me back if I can't. I take the dog and pootle down on my own.

I think if I take two horses then I might need help. You coudl always put a note on the local facebook page of your riding club and see if anyone is available. There is also HHO - ask on here if anyone is going and if you could walk the course with them -its a good way to meet people

Good luck as Askam B.
 
I go alone and don't give it a second thought (until the person parked up next to me pipes up 'oooh, you're brave eventing alone, what if you fall off?' Right, yeh thanks for that! lol
Seriously though, I manage fine, just make sure I leave plenty of time for walking xc, collecting number etc and normally have a bit if a chat with people parked next door anyway.
I don't mind it and think the only time I would desperately want someone to help was if I had more than 1 horse, or if the horse I was riding was a pain to deal with
 
Yes couldn't get anyone to come with me so went on own. Got sick of running around like a headless chicken!!!
 
I have never had my own transport so have always travelled with other people – however I have recently brought my own lorry and doing my test soon, and feeling slightly nervous about heading out on the big bad roads alone!!! My mother/OH generally come to a lot of things, but there will be a few things where I’m sure I will just box up and go to, how can I stop feeling so nervous?!?!  I constantly have visions of breaking down on the side of a Motorway with the horse on board!! Paranoia alert!!!!!! Im ok with the competing alone, its just the travelling the worries me?! Maybe its just a confidence thing and will get better as I drive the lorry more??
 
luce1 said:
I have never had my own transport so have always travelled with other people – however I have recently brought my own lorry and doing my test soon, and feeling slightly nervous about heading out on the big bad roads alone!!! My mother/OH generally come to a lot of things, but there will be a few things where I’m sure I will just box up and go to, how can I stop feeling so nervous?!?!  I constantly have visions of breaking down on the side of a Motorway with the horse on board!! Paranoia alert!!!!!! Im ok with the competing alone, its just the travelling the worries me?! Maybe its just a confidence thing and will get better as I drive the lorry more??
Click to expand...

I tow rather than lorry and didn't want to be on my own at first but am fine now.
 
I used to go everywhere on my own. I had a bit of a timetable and knew how long everything should take me, and I used to leave the horse alone in the trailer when I walked the courses. It really wasn't a problem.

Now, I seem to have attracted various people who like to come; you need to think of ways to make it easy/enticing for them!

E.g. if I go to an event near friends/family, I tell them and they often come along to watch some or all of it. Non-horsey friends often come for a day, esp if it's a pretty venue and times are sensible. Husband sometimes cycles to the event (he is into road cycling) and then we put the bike in the other side of the box and go home. Just try inviting people and see what happens! They are often v willing to help, though you will need to explain everything to them - how to do jumps, how to hold, etc.
 
luce1 said:
I have never had my own transport so have always travelled with other people – however I have recently brought my own lorry and doing my test soon, and feeling slightly nervous about heading out on the big bad roads alone!!! My mother/OH generally come to a lot of things, but there will be a few things where I’m sure I will just box up and go to, how can I stop feeling so nervous?!?!  I constantly have visions of breaking down on the side of a Motorway with the horse on board!! Paranoia alert!!!!!! Im ok with the competing alone, its just the travelling the worries me?! Maybe its just a confidence thing and will get better as I drive the lorry more??
Click to expand...

Ha. Well unless you are travelling with a fully equipped mechanic, having someone with you won't help if you break down, nor will it prevent you from breaking down! Get some roadside assitance/rescue membership for lorry and horse.
 
I'm another one who usually goes competing alone out of necessity rather than preference (although i do sometimes like going on my own, can do my own thing, and don't feel any guilt at taking up half/full day of someone elses time!) I was out eventing on average every 3 weeks this summer, almost all a minimum of 1 hour away from home, and more often than not with a 4.30am start, as well as doing other dressage, jumping and schooling in between. Fortunately my horse is very easy at comps and to travel, she practically loads herself and doesn't get fractious on the lorry. It is nice to have someone with me, but i tend to find i see lots of people i know at competitions anyway, there are about 4 or 5 friends i almost always see wherever i go who i know well enough to chat to or to beg a lift home/hold a horse etc if i had to.
Get decent breakdown cover for your transport, let people know where you're going and get out there!
 
I go everywhere on my own and these days it's really rare for me not to know someone at an event! You see the same people from the area, I've got loads of friends made through here and who started as friends of friends etc. This season I have travelled to all the events alone and known someone at every single one.

I sort of prefer going alone as I can suit myself and if I want to hang about for hours waiting for prize giving etc I can, if I want to sit in the sun with an ice cream (hollow laugh) I don;t feel guilty about someone else having a long day etc.

I even made a night of it at Hambleden and went up, stabled, had dinner with ihatework, she came back and groomed for me the next day etc - all good stuff :)
 
would it be worth posting on here when you are due to go to an event to see if any other friendly HHO'ers will be there. Then at least you will know there is someone who might be able to help if you get really stuck :)
 
I am a loner - My OH used to be vaguely interested when he owned the horse but his work has changed and he has no interest in this horse.

I had a friend come this week and it was great. I do all the work as I am a bit particular but its nice to have someone to chat to and video! It does not particularly bother me though having had 2 tyre blow outs on the trailer lately I am slightly paranoid about towing but I managed to cope with them on the motorway thanks to being well prepared.
 
I do have friends that come with me often but I am registering with BE next year and can't expect them to come all the time - as you say they are long days!

My OH stresses me out at competitions so I often encourage him to have a day having father/son bonding with our little boy.

Muddyboots, I am only from near Doncaster and will be eventing at BE90/100 next year - maybe we could team up at events and offer moral support/grooming/food?! :D
 
SpottedCat said:
I go everywhere on my own and these days it's really rare for me not to know someone at an event! You see the same people from the area, I've got loads of friends made through here and who started as friends of friends etc. This season I have travelled to all the events alone and known someone at every single one.

I sort of prefer going alone as I can suit myself and if I want to hang about for hours waiting for prize giving etc I can, if I want to sit in the sun with an ice cream (hollow laugh) I don;t feel guilty about someone else having a long day etc.

I even made a night of it at Hambleden and went up, stabled, had dinner with ihatework, she came back and groomed for me the next day etc - all good stuff :)
Click to expand...

Absolutely ditto this, and Tabledancer's comments. Have done plenty of events alone with two horses, even overnight. I find now that I miss a bit of company driving rather than actually at the event.

What class are you doing at AB?

I'm on first thing in the BE100 and am happy to give you a hand after if you're doing that - can't promise I'll still be there when the 90's on though.

Also I'll be going to walk the XC on Saturday as otherwise I'll be walking it in the dark at 6am on Saturday - not a good idea. Why don't you come and walk with me if you're local then you've a) got less to do on Sunday and won't have to leave your horse for an hour and b) you'll already know a face on Sunday when you get there! :cool:
 
Luckily I normally have plenty of help as my parents are interested, so plenty of pairs of hands! On the odd times they can't come I can normally beg a friend to come. Mainly to keep me awake whilst driving at some ungodly hour in the morning!

I am also at Askham Bryan on Sunday. I have 1 horse in the BE100 and 1 in the BE90, so will be there all day. Like GB I will be walking the courses on Saturday. We could have a HHO Askham Bryan coursewalk on Saturday afternoon?
 
I just go by myself but horse is not easy to get into the XC start box and that is the main thing that concerns me about going by myself in case I just dont get in there if someone isn't willing to lead me. I can normally only find help for a handful of events though and even though will normally meet up with people at the event they're usually competing so not able to help me.
 
I could come and help on Sunday if you need a hand? I'm not competing, but was going to pop along and see a friend as I'm pretty nearby. Which class are you doing?

Let me know, I'm at a continuous loose end with a broken horse! :)
 
It's really heartening to hear about all these people getting out and doing it by themselves. I have been putting off getting my towing license as am a total driving wimp since I wrote off my car in the snow while pregnant couple of years back. :eek: Not my finest moment. Am utterly at the mercy of OH to load, groom and tow at mo.
However, am attempting a first communal trip out this weekend with a lovely friend (who I met competing at the same shows) and we are going to share her little lorry up to Ingliston for some SJ. Unfortunately evil Connie pony is attempting to sabotage aforementioned trip by deciding he can't travel with partition. He has done in the past but tried him in our new Ifor two weekends ago and he became semi-cast and was scrabbling around for dear life. I wouldn' t put him back in the trailer and hacked home. :( So we're doing a trial lorry run tomorrow and I've decided to scare myself my reading forum threads of disaster lorry stories. I am an idiot!
I'm hoping he's fine as would really love a like minded friend to compete with, then I could ditch the hubbie tee hee :cool:
 
I have always gone on my own. On BE entry forms you need to enter your lorry reg and an emergency contact number, and I always let someone at home know roughly what time I am going xc, and they know if I haven't phoned them by a certain time I may have come unstuck!! In many ways I feel that at an event if I come off at least there are people around to see to my horse, when I school/hack out at home I could be missing for well over 24 hours before anyone noticed!! I have friends who insist people go with them when they compete, and I have to say I think many horsey people can become a bit self centred. Maybe its because my family and OH are not at all horsey, but I feel it would be incredibley selfish of me to expect one of them to accompany me every time I competed.
 
If you do come unstuck it's good to have a back up plan, I drove to bishop burton from osberton at 5pm on Sunday eve to drive home a lorry as I was the only one licensed and old enough to drive it. Rider had concussion and wasn't allowed.
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Top