Do you think your horse loves you?

The word 'love' has too many human expectations loaded into it.
The test of love for me is the ability to put another's needs/life in front of your own.
Would I give up my life for my children? - yes. Would a mare give up her life for a foal - unlikely - and anyway what would be the point because the foal is most likely to die without her.
Horses form bonds and friendships. A mare will defend her foal. But it's primarily about survival. We look for much more in a lasting, loving relationship.
I appreciate the connection I have with our mares when they stand with us, lie down next to us, share breath etc. but I don't consider this to be love. I see it as a trusting bond which can be easily snapped.
 
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Are there significant differences in the way mares, geldings or stallions show affection/bonding with a human?
I've only been close to mares/fillies for so many years I don't know what differences there might/might not be.
Just curious.
 
In my experience mares are loving and caring if they feel you need that but otherwise are happy just being with you sort of along side. Gelding tend more to be food related etc but don't seem to understand emotion and it can upset them if you are upset. I guess both respond in a slightly different way in my opinion
 
Definitely cupboard love with my grey mare, but she's very clingy with me. If I take her somewhere in the trailer and pop in the back to get something whilst she's tied up outside, she cries if she can't see me for a minute.
 
On a slight tangent, I think horses feel deep friendship and love for each other - and we should always try to facilitate a happy social/herd life for horses.
My two have been together since the younger one was foaled (16 years) and they are the best of friends. I do notice how much they touch each other, which seems to indicate a deep, long-term bond.
 
The horse I lost in May definitely seemed to. Or at least we had a very strong bond. There are a few examples. Whenever he saw me, whether he was in the stable or in the field, or even with someone else riding him he would do a little hoohoohoohoohoo noise with his nostrils. He occasionally would chat to others but never failed to talk to me. I was definitely his.

Then when he was in hospital every time I visited him I'd park outside his stable and shout "Hi Albie" and he would do a big neigh back.

Also when he was in hospital, the visiting hours were really strict at first and I couldn't see him for long because of work. His health deteriorated and he started looking colicky. So he was prescribed more visits with me and the visiting hours were extended to any time I could come down (which I did at least twice a day for a few hours). His condition improved and he was brighter.

some of that was probably that he was upset being away from home and having treatment, but I definitely like to think at least some of it was personal.



The big lad just likes my sweetie supply though ?
 
Charley657 said:
I thought that too but there is a video on TikTok where a woman shouts for her donkey and it reacts the same way if not more when it sees her, its very heartwarming. It lives in a herd with horses (not sure if there are other donkeys) as you see them in the field together in the video. Its my favourite thing to watch as I have never thought donkeys showed any regard for humans before that.
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MY donkey I described above that reacts like this when I have been away for any length of time does actually have his own donkey companion as well as either one or two other horses living with him at all times. So it is not a reaction born out of desperation for company, but I do agree it is imperative that donkeys do have a companion.

I have always kept donkeys as well as horses and in my experience they all show far more character and affection and eagerness to be with you, far more than any of the horses have ever done. I love my donkeys! ?
 
Mrs Jingle said:
MY donkey I described above that reacts like this when I have been away for any length of time does actually have his own donkey companion as well as either one or two other horses living with him at all times. So it is not a reaction born out of desperation for company, but I do agree it is imperative that donkeys do have a companion.

I have always kept donkeys as well as horses and in my experience they all show far more character and affection and eagerness to be with you, far more than any of the horses have ever done. I love my donkeys! ?
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Donkeys really are very special arn't they!
 
I went to visit my big lad at the veterinary hospital after he'd had surgery. He'd come round from the GA safely but was told on the phone still 'woozy', but come and visit. When I arrived, he heard my voice first and let out a very desperate whinny...I went in the box, put my arms round his neck and he pinned me to him with his head for a full 10 minutes - he just wouldn't let me go. Yes, he definitely loves me as much as I love him.
 
I do use the word love around horses and their feelings but I am not sure it’s the right word .
Horses learn to trust people and we used to be told by the experts that horses did not recognise humans as individuals anyone who has horses knows that well handled human savvy horses absolutely do .
I think think the trick is enter the horses world emotionally and not expect it to enter ours I think it’s disrespectful to horses to expect them to bond with us just because we have bought them .
When you understand the complicated web of trust friendship leadership or dominance they exist in its easier to worm your way in .
For me horses rarely do illogical things when you look at it from their side .
On the motor skills , I have often pondered why the horses you get who love flat work love it .
On the face of it from the outside there seems little in for the horse but if you pull it apart being fit and athletic is important to herd prey animal and I think that’s what they get out of it .
 
Goldenstar said:
I do use the word love around horses and their feelings but I am not sure it’s the right word .
Horses learn to trust people and we used to be told by the experts that horses did not recognise humans as individuals anyone who has horses knows that well handled human savvy horses absolutely do .
I think think the trick is enter the horses world emotionally and not expect it to enter ours I think it’s disrespectful to horses to expect them to bond with us just because we have bought them .
When you understand the complicated web of trust friendship leadership or dominance they exist in its easier to worm your way in .
For me horses rarely do illogical things when you look at it from their side .
On the motor skills , I have often pondered why the horses you get who love flat work love it .
On the face of it from the outside there seems little in for the horse but if you pull it apart being fit and athletic is important to herd prey animal and I think that’s what they get out of it .
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I honestly think that if they bond with you and respect you, with regards to work...they will try anything to please you. My newest horse genuinely gets upset if he feels he's got something wrong when I'm schooling him. Usually it's my fault for not asking the questions in the right way, but once he's settled and realised he's done nothing wrong he will try and try to please me. Is this love? possibly not, but it shows incredible generosity of spirit that feels very much like love...(god, I'm so soppy).
 
Goldenstar said:
.......... On the motor skills , I have often pondered why the horses you get who love flat work love it . On the face of it from the outside there seems little in for the horse but if you pull it apart being fit and athletic is important to herd prey animal and I think that’s what they get out of it .
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I think that also goes for humans too .. and its interesting regarding the Oxytocin hormone as I suspect like humans horses will release endormorphins during exercise which gives us a buzz but probably a bigger effect is that the fitter a person is this tends to increase their confidence and feeling of well-being .. evolutionary speaking this makes a lot of sense so I would assume that the same is true of horses too.
 
Yeah she acts like a gard dog ? she is very protective over me and changes a other horses. My mother thinks she should have been born a dog.
 
Difficult to say. He protects me from other horses and chases them off in the field. He grooms my bad leg, doesn’t do grooming otherwise. He’ll kick his door and it turns out he just wants me to stand next to him, which is annoying, but sort of sweet. He likes to just be held, but mostly I think he just thinks ‘food lady, excellent!’

He’s a swine to catch except for me and only comes to call for me. The groom too an hilarious video where she went to catch in and he ignored her, then when she finally caught up to him, he looked all amazed that she wanted him, I was dying!
 
Cinnamontoast said:
Difficult to say. He protects me from other horses and chases them off in the field. He grooms my bad leg, doesn’t do grooming otherwise. He’ll kick his door and it turns out he just wants me to stand next to him, which is annoying, but sort of sweet. He likes to just be held, but mostly I think he just thinks ‘food lady, excellent!’

He’s a swine to catch except for me and only comes to call for me. The groom too an hilarious video where she went to catch in and he ignored her, then when she finally caught up to him, he looked all amazed that she wanted him, I was dying!
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Do Horses have a Sense of Humour?
 
honetpot said:
I listened to a Radio 4 program today about human cat relationships and, there were several qualified experts who take part in behavioural studies, and they said conflict comes mainly when owners expect too much. Since cats have lived in homes for over 4000 years and horses until about 50 years ago were mainly work animals I do think people interpretations of equine behaviour are seen through what they would want, or do not want, which when you consider they are a herd herbivore, is asking for trouble.
A horse can feel unstressed and relaxed in your company, you hopefully are a source of food and protection from predators, even if they are only the man made kind. Its wise in survival terms to have something that gives you food and safety, and maybe scratch your favourite place, but love I don't think it's a concept they have.
I had a little mare that every gelding she met 'loved' her, they deferred to her knowledge and calmness, she made them feel safe.
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someone shared a link the other day saying that horses can experience the effects of oxytocin when they feel safe. I think that’s quite wonderful and close to “love”.

I do agree some people feel disappointed when they expect their horse to follow, call, allogroom etc as if they were part of the herd. (Usually newish owners) There are some exceptions but I think we are all very lucky that we have generally amenable equine companions.

When I was young I had a mare that was literally joined at the hip with me from very early on. I was so disappointed as an adult when my boy was so aloof with me, for months.
it has taken years to develop the working relationship we have now. He definitely prefers me and will guard me from others. Not sure if that’s resource guarding?

Saying that, he will do bloody anything for me now when when I first got him I couldn’t make head nor tail of him! He was working out whether I was to be trusted or not!
 
She doesn't love me, because horses don't love us. They can trust us, respect us and a special bond can be created but no, I wouldn't say love.
 
Tilly676 said:
She doesn't love me, because horses don't love us. They can trust us, respect us and a special bond can be created but no, I wouldn't say love.
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I would have said this! I staunchly believed that only working relationships with horses existed but after being informed that horses experience effects of oxytocin when they feel safe I now feel differently.

but this perhaps depends on a human individuals perception of what “love” is.
 
My mare and I had a very difficult relationship when I first bought her. She finds it difficult to trust and was going through a horrible teenager phase.

However, over the years we have really become a team and just 'get each other'. I undoubtedly love her but I think in the last year or so, she has come to trust me and quite likes me. She calls me from the field and if I haven't seen her for 24 hours, she wants to rest against me to make sure I am definitely there.
 
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