Do your non horsey friends/ family understanding your relationship with horses?

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Sunny08

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Posting this as the other day I posted about how much pressure I have had to sell my young horse as I am pregnant. (P.S Thank you for all the advice - I have found a lovely experienced sharer to now help me.)

However it did make me think the basic thing is friends/ family do not understand my relationship with my horse - they think she is a commodity I can sell or give up on like an unwanted bike or a used car. I even had one of them telling me the other day I was selfish not only for keeping a 'luxury' when I was having a baby, but also because my horse won't reach her full potential (i.e. I'm not eventing her) and I was putting myself and baby at risk just by caring for her, even though I have given up riding! They just don't get it, I know her, I know the risks and I know how to handle her - I just wish people would back off and let me make my own decisions - I would never put myself, my baby or my horse at risk!

Anyway enough of my rant just wondering if other people get this sometimes? Non horsey people don't seem to understand that horses are far more than a luxury or commodity - or they are to me anyway! My horse and my love for horses is part of who I am, not an add on.
 
my family are all non horsey so dont really understand either they all think he hasnt gotenogh food, he never needs rugging etc he needs to go faster etc
 
Good for you! :)
Stick to your guns and don't let people tell you what you should and shouldn't do! O won't pretend... juggling a horse and a baby is no mean feat but there're 1000's of us who do it day in day out :)

My non-horsey new mum friends don't know how (or indeed why ;) ) I fit it all in... everything is juggled and timed to perfection to ensure everything gets done - they don't honestly know why I do it LOL!

Good luck and enjoy it! :)
Kaye x
 
Sometimes. My parents are non-horsey but my mum is now horsey just doesn't ride. I might sound strange saying this but i really don't like going on holiday and at first my parents didn't really understand but now my parents understand that i have a very strong relationship with my horses. Some friends don't understand some do! x
 
LOL! I just asked my hubby the question, and he replied that my Lad is a 'drain on resources'!!!! I replied that they were MY resources to drain! I think it is difficult for non-horsey people to understand the commitment/ relationship that we have with our horses.

I think he does understand really, though, or as much as a non-horsey person can. My Mum and Dad, on the other hand, think I'm raving mad............
 
My family do understand but my boyfriend did not at all, fortunately he went before he talked me into parting with the real love of my life
 
My family is non horsey too and only a few of my friends are horsey. My family keep thinking I spend too much on him and dont think alot of things are actually neccessary when they are!! And my friends are quite understanding actually, I have taken a few of them out riding and they realise that it requires alot of commitment and money, but also the fact that my horse is the apple of my eye, they will understand if I cant go shopping or go out with them. I know its a little different for you because they think you should drop the horse because your having a baby. But I know the feeling when people just dont understand why I have a horse.
 
I think my family do understand that horses will always be in my life, but i cant understand why my OH wont kiss me when I have just kissed my horse!! My mum cant understand why more horses shoes cost more than mine either!!
I am a very understanding boss....I gave a member of my staff "equine leave" when her foal was born!!
 
My previously non-horsey hubby now mucks out, waters, turns out, feeds, does nets, grooms for hours, acts as groom and chaffeur at shows and has even been known to sit in the field with my boy on his day off!!!

He now understands :D

My non-horsey friends don't understand the time and money we spend on our man!
 
Luckily i met hubby through Pony Club in our teens, so to some extent he came ready trained. he was fine with me riding while pregnant. All my family know just what horses mean to me & have been very supportive while, for a number of reasons, they have had to be given up for a while. Several friends have said that horses make me who i am & they can't imagine me without them.
i think i am very lucky :)
 
horsecrazy25 said:
Sometimes. My parents are non-horsey but my mum is now horsey just doesn't ride. I might sound strange saying this but i really don't like going on holiday and at first my parents didn't really understand but now my parents understand that i have a very strong relationship with my horses. Some friends don't understand some do! x
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I am with you all the way on this, I have not had a holiday for over 20 years, even my horsey friends do not understand this, but I made the choice to have horses, dogs and cats, and now I am not even sure I could enjoy a holiday knowing that I was leaving them behind.

Although the idea of going camping locally, so that I can feed ,and stop some where over night and be back in the morning is sounding quite appealing atm :)

BTW I do not think you are being selfish by keeping your horse, my inlaws said I was even though, like you, I stopped riding, they said the risk in the field was just as great, so al I say to that is give them a big RASPBERRY
 
Although my mum and dad have been so supportive to me since the accident, they still dont really get it, when I say loosing Benson was like loosing a child. They understand why I am upset, but cant really see why it hurts so much.
 
I have been horsey all of my life (well as long as I can remember anyway) which stemmed from my grandparents having horses. However, Horseyness did not rub off on my Dad (his parents had the horses) and my Mum is even less understanding. I waited till I was 35 before buying my first horse. My parents reaction was "well you'll never have any time or money for anything now" In fact the only way I managed to get my Dad to meet George was by riding him home one day. His reaction was "you look a long way up! mind how you go getting him back!" As for friends, one of mine asked me the other day if I was fed up with having to go down the stables everyday yet?
Having said all this my hubby is very supportive even though he knows nothing about horses and my 3 kids love our new lifestyle.
 
My family and friends (non horsey) dont really get it.....neither does my OH I dont think, but he knows it makes me happy and he has given up moaning about the lack of lie ins and the constant tie!!!
 
My Dad understands, in so much as "Ellie has now been missing for 2 days... I should go find her... easy! She will be at the yard"

My sisters think that my horseyness is part of my wonderful eccentricity (or as they would say "bl**dy insanity!")

My non horsey friends just think I talk about horses a lot. Though I'm not sure they see the appeal of dirt under fingernails, stiffness after falls, straw in hair, a faint aroma of horse and all the other many wonderful little additions to my person caused by my "horse habit" (yes... apparently it is like a drug habit but crazier)
OK, maybe they don't understand ;)

My closest friends are all VERY horsey due to the time we spend all waking hours together with our trusty steeds! They totally get it ;)
 
Oh and my Grandparents are scared of horses but they say I have been horsey from birth and have accepted this with grace. They came to see the horses with me the other day and gave everyone a pat and a stroke. They don't get what it is about horses in particular, but they get that it is incredibly important to me, so therefore they support it.
 
no they dont get it at all. none of my close friends are even interested in horses at all. only my da would be into horses. so but **** really. horses friends is just local people i know from sales and shows, had one horse friend yers ago but now living in scotland
 
My parents know how much I wanted a horse so now I have my boy they seem to understand the commitment and that it makes me happy. However, my non-horsey friends don't quite get it - they know how much I wanted my boy but they don't really get the commitment level or the financial sacrifices needed. But to be fair to them I have gone totally off the radar since I bought my boy (friends are in London, I'm in Yorkshire). Just booked a cheap train ticket today to go and see them all in Sept! :)
 
Parents are horsey brothers aren't. Dad pretends to not like him but he does really He's always giving him treats and talking to him when no one is around. ;) Mum is very horsey and has been all her life so we share that, although she isn't able to ride anymore she is still very up to date with the horse world.
Friends kind of understand (only 'coz I never shut up about him).
 
**Vanner** said:
My previously non-horsey hubby now mucks out, waters, turns out, feeds, does nets, grooms for hours, acts as groom and chaffeur at shows and has even been known to sit in the field with my boy on his day off!!!

He now understands :D

My non-horsey friends don't understand the time and money we spend on our man!
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You've trained him well! :D
 
my OH understands and is so supportive, my family never understand my love for my horse they just think they are an expensive commodity, personally I think the worst horse owners are the ones who have horses to feed their egos and to advance themselves competitively ( even at the low levels) . There seems to be a lot of horse owners who care very little about their horses, who sell them on when they don't make the grade, who loan them out when they should be putting them down, and who put them down and buy a new model when the old one starts to fail them. I think these types far out-weigh the minority that have a real bond with their horses.
I certainly have known quite a few of these types in my time.
 
I managed to dissapper for two days when Beauty got caught in barbed wire ( thick stable rugs make great duvets) on day two mum appered at my stable door with food, clean clothes, toothbrush and a book.

She isn't horsey, just understanding.

Friends at school however don't see why in the holidays, I get up early, ride on my bike 3 miles uphill, go get dirty and smelly then go home to do it again the next day, I think the final straw was when I pulled a hoof pick out of my school bag
 
My parents and brother understand as we all have horses my OH never used to and when he realised that he would be gone before the horses would he joined in a lot more even though he's alergic he'l take a few antihistamines and muck out and now that my girls on 2months box rest he phones from work to ask how she is .... Aww

my non horsey friends from school don't have a scoobie and moan when I'm unable to go out or when I talk about my 3 all the time but tbh I'd rather " waste" my money on my horses rather than go into town every weekend and blow it on booze and have a hangover all day
 
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