Does anyone actually like loaners

[Cowparsley]

Is it just me who feels like we get bitched about CONSTANTLY?? My 10 year old daughter has been loaning for 2 years, obviously I go with her to every session. Never ever leave her with the horse alone, pay on time, do required jobs. Don’t get me wrong most of the owners are lovely (on their own) but when they are together they clearly revel in gossiping and judging what we are doing. It’s the sly looks and whispered comments. So my quest to owners is- do you look down on us because we haven’t got our own?

 

[Jenko109]

I've never witnessed this behaviour. Not loaner specific anyway.

 

[poiuytrewq]

Welcome to horsey land. It’s a sad fact that this seems to happen..
I had a sharer, I loved her to bits. Very sad when she moved to Ireland and decided the travel was impossible (!)
I think you have just seen the sad side of livery, in a few months they will move onto someone else. Don’t give up

 

[poiuytrewq]

I've never witnessed this behaviour. Not loaner specific anyway.

I feel like your pretty lucky, every yard I’ve been on has been like this, weirdly never directed at me but I was very aware it was happening.

 

[Red-1]

To me, a loan is where you take sole responsibility for a horse, often at your own place. A sharer is where you do certain days a week, such as 2 days a week, and take responsibilities on those days, but the owner stays in charge for day to day decisions.

I think you are talking about sharing, and yes, I have had a sharer and we got on fabulously. No bitching. She was less experienced but 100% kind and helpful and yes, the extra cash helped. I loved that we would leave notes on a notebook in the tack box (pre mobile phones being in regular use) and support each other through highs and lows.

It made my horse keeping better and gave her opportunities to ride out and have lessons.

I think if you get the right share, it works.

Of course, there may be frictions from time to time, especially if the sharer is less experienced. They may not do things as professionally as the owner. Or, it could be that the sharer is more experienced, in which case there may be some jealousy, I guess. All I can say is my share worked out just fine. If I had an issue we spoke about it, no need to bitch to others.

 

[FlyingCircus]

I've had a number of sharers, and there are a number on my yard. Some do questionable things, but so do some owners!!

I don't think anyone judges them for not having their own. Everyone has to start somewhere.

 

[throwawayaccount]

My loaner and her daughter are lovely, I’ve never looked down on a person if they have a pony or not. I judge them by their character and actions.

Maybe you should flag up your concerns to the yard owner?

 

[Red-1]

Is it just me who feels like we get bitched about CONSTANTLY?? My 10 year old daughter has been loaning for 2 years, obviously I go with her to every session. Never ever leave her with the horse alone, pay on time, do required jobs. Don’t get me wrong most of the owners are lovely (on their own) but when they are together they clearly revel in gossiping and judging what we are doing. It’s the sly looks and whispered comments. So my quest to owners is- do you look down on us because we haven’t got our own?

Are you sure that everyone isn't just judging everyone else, nothing to do with a sharer?

 

[poiuytrewq]

*agree it’s probably not the fact your a sharer as such.

 

[katastrophykat]

Absolutely not here.
I have a pony out on loan with a local family, and they are fantastic.
In return, I have a pony on loan from a lovely owner at the other end of the country, she (and he!) are lovely.

then I have a part loaner, who’s daughter rides three times a week, and I cherish them- they’re absolutely worth their weight in gold. The family are lovely and I dread the day that their daughter grows out of my ponies!

 

[Squeak]

I've got to admit I've never known an attitude towards people because they're sharers. Usually it's just that everyone is judged and gossiped about regardless of who they are or if they deserve it or not. Sometimes it just seems to be someone's turn to be picked on - One of the less endearing parts of being on a livery yard.

Ignore the behaviour and it will soon be someone else's turn.

 

[EllenJay]

I’ve been both a loaner and a loanee. My best friends have come out of these relationships - if your loaner is being bitchy, move on - life is too short

 

[smolmaus]

do you look down on us because we haven’t got our own?

Someone doing the smart thing and loaning/sharing a suitable pony for a 10yo rather than buying one? You'd get some comments from me on your evident wisdom.

People are always going to gossip. You could drive yourself up the walls trying to guess what anyone could be saying about you or anyone else for whatever reason or no reason at all. Easy to say and hard to do but focus on doing your thing as well as you can (supporting your daughter!).

 

[Cowparsley]

In the previous yard, we shared three days a week. Pony was difficult (very) had numerous issues but we still persevered. We had to put up with the whole stuck up yard judging us as the pony tried to bite, kick, run to the gate in the arena, numerous owners passing judgment on what we were doing. In the end we left for a new share but im still affected by the Fact we were judged when it wasn’t even our pony with the issues- a lot of them we actually corrected!

 

[Skib]

I shared my RIs old horse. I did not ride perfectly and knew I made mistakes or could have done better, but she never once criticised me or found fault. Riding-wise, it was a perfect period of my life.
Yes I was inferior. I was ticked off for riding with one of the YOs friends. Pupils who come for lessons are not in the same class as livery owners. You have to be wealthy to have a horse and keep it on full livery.

 

[Cowparsley]

I shared my RIs old horse. I did not ride perfectly and knew I made mistakes or could have done better, but she never once criticised me or found fault. Riding-wise, it was a perfect period of my life.
Yes I was inferior. I was ticked off for riding with one of the YOs friends. Pupils who come for lessons are not in the same class as livery owners. You have to be wealthy to have a horse and keep it on full livery.

I think that’s it. I felt like we were begging for approval constantly. Made to feel like hangers on/ poor.

 

[Leam_Carrie]

I used to share and now have my own. I shared at a DIY yard and don’t think anyone treated me differently… although people did try to poach me! Now on a part-livery with no sharers (although I may get one), but would expect everyone to be friendly.
Livery yards / groups of women can be bitchy / cliques for lots of different reasons. It is tricky and sad that you feel like that - riding should be an enjoyable hobby.

 

[Cowparsley]

Maybe it’s a pastime for some owners, get a sharer so we can gossip about them with other livery’s… but sadly yes where ever you get groups of women you get nastyness!

 

[ArklePig]

I am a sharer and regularly hear other people bitching about sharers. It's definitely a thing, I just hope they don't say too much about me!

 

[Cowparsley]

I am a sharer and regularly hear other people bitching about sharers. It's definitely a thing, I just hope they don't say too much about me!

Glad it’s not my imagination! One thing that seemed to be an issue was the fact I didn’t wear expensive horse gear around the yard. They would look at me and sneer at my wellies and black leggings and old coat… errrrrrm I’m just the mum not the rider!

 

[ArklePig]

Actually come to think of it though they bitch about owners too. Maybe it's just one of those yards, some of them are!

 

[cindars]

After I got rid of my last horse I was given on loan my present mare,owner trusts me totally,all other loners on our yard have been great

 

[honetpot]

My best friends have had horses, and I think you tend to expect that you will get on with people that like horses, but very often that's the only thing you have in common, and people bring their own prejudices to the yard, I hated picking the kids up from school, I am stood in my tat, trying to make polite conversation with someone immaculately dressed, and fully made up, the only thing you have in common is you have a child in the same class.
I have had loaners and sharers, most of them have been lovely, what really hacks me off with loaners is when they change my tack that I provide, and never ask, lose tack or replace it with cheap stuff, and my expensive stuff goes MIA.
I always tell people if I am not happy, but then I am northern, if it has been working for two years, and your child is getting what you want out of it, I would try and get a thicker skin, and just ignore them.

 

[fidleyspromise]

I've not seen that behaviour with sharers or loaners. I know people who have loaned and shared and to me its like the horse is theirs as they look after them so well
I've had a couple of sharers and I've been grateful to them for caring for my horses and it's given me a chance to get 2 horses put together.

 

[Caol Ila]

I had a lovely sharer for my old horse at our last yard. She did not want to go to the new yard (where Fin is now) because it was too far for her, and she liked our old yard and didn't feel comfortable riding anywhere else. She got on well with the YOs. They liked her a lot more than they liked me.

 

[LEC]

Never had this issue….
All these have been loan horses. Didn’t even own my own horse until 2016 and managed to ride all my life. Loaning is great. I just send the horse back if it’s disappointing and not going to cut it. Now I own them I am stuck with them!

 

[Glitter's fun]

Glad it’s not my imagination! One thing that seemed to be an issue was the fact I didn’t wear expensive horse gear around the yard. They would look at me and sneer at my wellies and black leggings and old coat… errrrrrm I’m just the mum not the rider!

Good job they've not met me then. I dress as a bag lady in winter, in the yard and riding!

 

[honetpot]

Never had this issue….
All these have been loan horses. Didn’t even own my own horse until 2016 and managed to ride all my life. Loaning is great. I just send the horse back if it’s disappointing and not going to cut it. Now I own them I am stuck with them!

When we had child sharers, their dream was always to own their own pony, and I always told them the best ponies to ride were someone elses. I grew up riding other peoples problems and cast off's, and as a result got to ride a lot of ponies. I always encouraged them to move on if they got the chance of something 'better', and as adults they all still ride and own their own. One who is now nearly forty!, asked me why I took him everywhere,a child that I one day at a show. Burghley, Olympia as well as local PC and shows, they were treated like my own children, which meant they got shouted at sometimes if they did something really stupid, but that is how we learnt in the past if you did not have your own. The equine 'village', taught you, but unfortunately that is rarely possible now, although my friend still has a string of other peoples now grandchildren in her crocodile.

 

[Cowparsley]

When we had child sharers, their dream was always to own their own pony, and I always told them the best ponies to ride were someone elses. I grew up riding other peoples problems and cast off's, and as a result got to ride a lot of ponies. I always encouraged them to move on if they got the chance of something 'better', and as adults they all still ride and own their own. One who is now nearly forty!, asked me why I took him everywhere,a child that I one day at a show. Burghley, Olympia as well as local PC and shows, they were treated like my own children, which meant they got shouted at sometimes if they did something really stupid, but that is how we learnt in the past if you did not have your own. The equine 'village', taught you, but unfortunately that is rarely possible now, although my friend still has a string of other peoples now grandchildren in her crocodile.

that is so so lovely and heartwarming… kids and ponies just make life more fun!