Does anyone else come to the sudden realisation ...

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pnap

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that they can't ride. Rode Jack for about 25mins in the school last night and in the middle of beginning to lose my temper at him for not going forward from my leg I suddenly thought to myself - do you know what there isn't anything wrong with the horse you just can't bloody ride. Have now booked a block of 10 lessons in order to try and regain some confidence in my abilities.
 
See I went through a moment like this after having a break from riding. I went to view many horses (as I was looking for one to have on full loan) and each time I rode I thought god they must think I'm dreadful. I became pretty down about my abilities, but then after viewing one horse the YO and the horses owner came up to say how lovely and uncomplicated my riding technique was, which had me beaming from ear to ear
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I was later asked if I would be happy schooling one of their other horses.

I think sometimes we lose sight of our abilities, and as I've found, I am my worst critic, so don't be so hard on yourself. I'm sure you're a great rider, who was perhaps just having a bad day.
 
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that they can't ride. - do you know what there isn't anything wrong with the horse you just can't bloody ride.

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me.....but slowly coping with the realisation...i know i can ride...my nerves need some help.....
 
Depressingly, yes. My Share Mare is very sensitive and the perfect schoolmistress in that if you ask correctly, she responds perfectly, every time, but if you don't ask correctly, she ignores you and carries on doing whatever you were doing before. If you want results, you have to ask correctly.

I can't ask correctly, so I am struggling with her. Its not her, at all - other people get on her and she goes beautifully for them. Its just me being inexperienced and flabby and unbalanced and just not a natural rider. I try hard and i do work at it, but i am not and never will be a good rider.
 
Well you have done a couple of really possitive things here for a start !! So that already takes you away from the 'rubbish rider' bit!!
The first thing was you stopped and did not lose your temper and secondly you did some thing about it by booking lessons!!
You have to remember that ' a horse knows how to be a horse we dont always know how to be riders' [ i say this a lot to my pupils along with ' brutality starts where knowledge ends' . To me these make perfect sense and i omly know this because i have had to learn them and still do come across challenges most days!!
It is also important to remember that sometimes we think we are doing or asking something but our body is doing quite the opposite!!
I hope your instructor helps you unlock your abilities. Remember also having good training is also mentally hard work, a good instructor will push you out of your comfort zone and sometimes this can make you feel like you have learnt nothing. This is why it is good to have a video record so that you can see the lesson and also analyse it from a different perspective. Keep this record, so that when you look back you will see the journey you and your horse have been on.
Goodluck
 
I am feeling like that recently
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I just feel really really crap about myself especially when it comes to riding which isn't very good as I may be sharing a friends horse who needs re-starting this weekend. I have also fallen off whenever I have jumped (from different horses) so now my confidence is at a low and making me feel like I can't ride even more! Ugh
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Sometimes I think it helps if you can get someone to video you riding. It might not look that bad and you can criticise yourself. You might find that your horse looks just as good for you as he does for other people.
 
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that they can't ride. - do you know what there isn't anything wrong with the horse you just can't bloody ride.

[/ QUOTE ]

me.....but slowly coping with the realisation...i know i can ride...my nerves need some help.....

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I am exactly the same, people say that I am a nice quiet rider, but my nerves and confidence really need some work! My friend is a good RI and is giving me lessons. phew!
 
Thanks guys - it helps to know I'm not the only one who questions their abilities sometimes. I often get told I'm too hard on myself and that it never looks as bad from the ground as I feel when up there. I just feel I'm constantly unbalanced up there kicking like a child in pony club games. I also get told that he doesn't look as bad as I think he does when I'm riding. I'm going for first lesson tonight so hopefully it will help me to help him - if that makes sense.
 
I did. I came back to horses after a 15 year break and with more money than I used to have so went through a "get the horse of my dreams from 15 years ago rather than a horse that's right for me now" period and tried a lovely big dressage horse. I rode like a complete pleb because he was classically trained and I learned to ride on a farm 35 years ago with no technical understanding. I was sooooo depressed that after all these years of riding I realised that I couldn't even ride properly. I got a really good instructor when I finally found the right (and not expensive !!!) horse and I am suddenly starting to click how to ride in a classical way. Still a million miles of development to go but at least we recognise our need to learn and do something about it
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ditto the people that tell you not to be so hard on yourself - but I know it can be very hard to believe that!

You're definately not alone. A few months ago I ended up in tears every time I rode because "I was just such a cr*p rider, horse deserves better etc" (we were having canter issues at the time) - not long after I got going with lessons again and everything is so much better.
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Think of it this way. Some people are too arogant about their ability to ever be able to improve, some people are too unconfident to ever believe they can and so get stuck, and in the middle is a good balance! You're balancing point has just slipped a bit towards too unconfident, but you've done a brilliant thing and got some lessons to do something about it. Well done you!!
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Last summer, I was given ride on a talent young showjumper, but as was alway told 'Talent isn't docile' and he was quite a handful! I had just lost my own dear horse, given up searching for a new horse as fed up of seeing rubbish and then finding the 'one' to fail the vetting. I had just been dyognosed with a sersous heart condition awaiting heart surgory, I don't think I understod how unwell I was and not really fit for riding. I suffer from stress anyway. I totaly lost all my self confidence and every thing the horse did I held myself responsible. I genraly thought I could not ride too. I have now recovered and in theroy in better health then ever, I brought a little yearling who I just adore and now own four horses to produce and starting to break and ride other peoples horses again. So I think it is just a faze, maybe theres something outside of horses that is stressing you and you feel out of control?
 
I get that feeling - normally after a few weeks where everything clicks and it's going really well then I get brought back to earth with a bump (quite literally in some cases). I always think that other people must look at me and think I'm awful and as a consequence I hate people watching me ride and can't have group lessons.
 
You are not alone I know my horse is very talented and its the numpty on board(me!) that needs to sort herself out before we're ever going to win anything. That said if we could all ride like John Whittaker, William-Fox-Pitt etc... our horses would all be marvellous. We can't all be super talented, most of us have to keep working hard to improve at all.

Anyway, sometimes your horse will know you and your style well enough to know what you are asking for and just not be responding because he's cheeky and doesn't want to. I'm sure your riding is good enough for your horse to understand, you may just need to be a bit more positive.
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Somedays i feel like ive never sat on a horse in my life!! i school my cob and i think if anyone is watching me Numpty on the cob what would they be thinking eh????
Other times its like we become one and she reads my mind and knows what i want her to do before i do..
 
Yep, I had a bit of a break last summer as too busy with the inhand showing. Once I started riding again I wa scrap, and got so angry with my body for not obeying me. Just getting a bit fitter/better when i went and had my accident and now saddles are out of bounds for a while. Typical
 
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