Does anyone else ever feel like they're not good enough?

[Natassia]

I'm feeling a bit sorry for myself, had a run of bad luck today and feel dreadful really, first thing was I went out on a really lovely ride, he was being really good and we were coming into the yard really relaxed and he spooked (saw a pile of electric fencing that wasn't there before then a man turned his lawnmower on at totally the wrong time) and he went flat out to the yard, I was worried that he was going to slip and it was all in slow motion but there was nothing I could have done, I guess his flight instinct kicked in so I just sat there and relaxed, and he stopped. But he's mildly arthritic and now I'm panicking about him cantering on hard ground, but its not like I intended it to happen and he was fine afterwards and not traumatized at all.
Then taking him back out his fieldsafe headcollar broke so I had to fix it, that wasn't major but annoying all the same.
Now reading all those posts about laminitis I'm paranoid about that, he has put on a little weight but I've cut his feed down dramatically and am riding every day, he only has enough feed for his supplements to go in now so hopefully he'll lose it again. This is my first summer with him and his previous owner never mentioned laminitis so I don't think he's prone to it. But he did seem tired when he came in this afternoon but I still rode him, only in walk and he soon woke up, I thought it would be better to ride him than not to and now I feel guilty but he was fine when we got back and trotted around the field beautifully afterwards etc.
I'm just feeling like the most rubbish horse owner at the moment and like I'm not good enough for him, and he means so much to me. But I guess thing go wrong with horses sometimes don't they? I just want him to like me and know that I will care for him properly, and I do. I probably sound like a total nutter but I do worry about things, thanks for reading.

 

[frb]

Oh honey you sound as if you have a bad day, but we all have them, i know exactly how you feel, even after four years of owning my boy, i question myself every day, and worry myself silly. Like you I just want the best for my boy, whom i adore. These incidents will always happen, and it is no reflection on you, you are doing your best, just follow your instincts, you know what is right for your boy. I fret constantly, but that is why forums like this one are so good, for offering help and re-assurance. Has helped me! Chin up, your horse is lucky to have you.

 

[malibu211211]

Oh I hate those days!
My boy makes me feel like a complete numpty 99% of the time

My old boy made me feel like it 100% of the time but then when you have a good day or even just get him to do something YOU want you remember why you love them

 

[Box_Of_Frogs]

Try this new game: I read it in a horse mag where the instructor asks the rider, instead of saying everything that's going WRONG with their riding, to shout out "YES" at every moment when the horse is doing great or trying really hard. After a bit, the riders were going round shouting YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES ......... Now, gonna do the same to your day. You can fill in some more bits. You DID have a lovely ride. For over 99% of the ride ABSOLUTELY NOTHING went wrong and ned SPOOKED AT NOTHING. This is fabulous. Even when something DID worry him, he DIDN'T buck. This is fabulous. And he DIDN'T slip over, which is also fabulous. And he WASN'T lame afterwards which is also fabulous. And he STOPPED in time and he WASN'T traumatised. This too is fabulous. And you trusted him enough to just quietly sit there which is also fabulous. And then his headcollar broke but you could fix it which is fabulous coz it saved you money. And you're worried about his weight but you have got a feeding and exercise plan which suits you both so that is also fabulous. And he HASN'T got laminitis which is even more fabulous. And even though he was tired and you felt you're not good enough for him, he perked up when his precious mum rode him and you both had a good time which is also fabulous. And maybe best of all is that this is your 1st summer together and you're both doing absolutely brilliantly and it screams out how much you love him and how well you are looking after him. Which is ALSO FABULOUS. I make that about 10,000 fabulouses and half a spook. So fabulous wins and that's fabulous too! Next time you start to worry, play the game. Bet you win every time!

 

[Natch]

You're not the only one to sometimes feel like that, don't worry x

 

[YorksG]

I absolutely love that game Box of Frogs, brilliant.

 

[ruscara]

Oh, Natassia, I can so empathise with what you are saying! I feel like a rubbish owner ALL the time, I worry about every little thing, and I am certain I am doing everything wrong.

I don't know you or your horse, but the very fact that you have written what you have would make me believe that you are a very GOOD owner indeed! I bet your horse feels happy, secure, as healthy as his age etc. allows (you say he has arthritis) and generally is a very lucky boy to have found you.

I worry for England, and Marius still got laminitis. Sometimes things just happen. If your boy had hurt himself panicking, it would not have been your fault.
It sounds to me as if you are doing a brilliant job, you have learned how to care for your horse and are doing so really well. Do try to enjoy him too!

 

[ruscara]

Thanks, Box_of_Frogs. You have just reduced me to tears