Does anyone else's OH do this - a long rant...!

Basically If I were you I would forfeit going to say half the shows you want to go to next year, thus saving you £500 in entry fees, and go pass the test yourself.......

I would also get rid of the miserable tight as a ducks ass bloke who you call your OH!
 
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The trouble is if you try and have a conversation about anything, or I try and confront him about things, he just goes on the offensive and starts shouting, or runs off in a strop and wont talk to me for days, and refuses to take me to shows.

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im so glad i dont have an OH! ( and have no plans to get one before hell freezes over either) . As others have said your OH is beyond belief.
He knows that you are stuck if he refuses to take you to a show,therefore uses that against you. Two things you can do
1. remove the trailer from his farm, it can live at my farm. if he wants to use it charge him and get money up front.
2. I will tow your trailer to where ever it needs to be towed to and can provide a helper in the ring when necessary. You can also practise towing using my jeep.
See what OH makes of that when you take his bargaining tool away from him!
 
Sorry if I am repeating anyone else, but I have just skipped two pages. Your OH sounds awful, but do you know the financial status of the farm? Is it possible things are bad and he doesn't want to worry you by letting you know?
 
Haven't you had free livery for all the horses for the last couple of years though Zoe plus he actually bought the lorry for you as well? I seem to remember that he wasn't charging you any rent before you were even partners..... and he looked after the horses while you were away at Uni?

Perhaps he feels that it's time he got something back for all the time and money he has invested?

Just trying to look at the other side of the coin althou producing a bill for his time is hilarious, go with the other posters advice and do your own bill for services rendered - LOL
 
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I guess I am not moaning so much about the fact he wont help me - if he just said 'no' from the start it wouldn't be so bad, but he is the sort to make committments, then break them at the last minute.


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My OH does this too - I was blunt, I said it pissed me off more than if he just said no. Now I say 'will you come and watch at X' and he says 'yes'. I then follow up with 'is that yes definitely, or yes unless I get a better offer in the meantime'. He then clarifies - if it's 'yes, definitely, I am justified in throwing a strop if he backs out, if 'yes unless better offer' I assume he's not coming and am pleasantly surprised if he does. Whilst only you can say whether the relationship is worth it or not, I am impressed you have taken criticism of yourself on board and thought you might like to know how someone else deals with their OH who does the same thing!
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This stopped all the annoyed feelings on both sides - OH doesn't feel he has to come if something he wants to do more comes up, I don't get annoyed he's backed out!
 
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It's not often on here that one sees someone really stand back at look at their own flaws and mistakes - especially not when they are in a full-on rage over someone else's!

[/ QUOTE ]Agreed. Being objectively self-critical is hard enough by itself, but being so when you feel like someone is going out of their way to upset you is beyond most of us a lot of the time. I do think that you relying on your own trailer-driving will be a much better thing - it'll take off some of that 'you're using me' strain and you'll get to spend time away being your own person, which sounds ideal. You never know, he may suddenly get quite jealous of you having fun all by yourself and want to be a part of the action again.
 
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