Does anyone want to start a debate on the following...?

Now i've offended everybody that owns a bay , tows with a nissan micra (?) , ride in a standing martingale , uses hyperflexion or rollkur AND people that like parrelli that dont have a microchip planted in there heads .

Who else shall I upset , i'm on a roll
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Is it just Irish Draughts or anything Irish and in the dreaded white colour ( knowing that white isn't your fav colour )

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In my travelling days, I've had a few dalliances with the Irish men....it's just the carthorse things, sorry Draught horses that I can't stand.
Wh*te is such a nasty colour...
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*waves* Novice rider here: regularly use a pelham, have used a dutch gag...I can't control my pony in a bog standard snaffle...

I should sell my pony and buy a rocking horse (altho that would probably still tank off with me)
 
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Now i've offended everybody that owns a bay , tows with a nissan micra (?) , ride in a standing martingale , uses hyperflexion or rollkur AND people that like parrelli that dont have a microchip planted in there heads .

Who else shall I upset , i'm on a roll
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Actually, you don't have to try so hard to be offensive. It just seems to come naturally to you.
S
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Ohhhhhhh we havent had "Im 28 stone am I too heavy for my 11.2"

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Ooh YES - that IS a good one!
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(For the record, I think a pair of rollerskates and a winch to get you into the saddle should do the trick)
 
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Instead of a Pelham, how about a double bridle (upside down of course) Or a driving bit with the side reins, bungee, standing martingale whilst lunging the horse until it falls over so that we can hop onto it barefoot
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not forgetting a grackle noseband fitted so low the horse can barely breathe
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Yes, the grackle! And the dressage saddle that makes you sit on your seat bones. This horse now has on a grackle (too low obviously!) a pelham/Driving bit/Double bridle (Upside down), it is being lunged too fast with sidereins, a bungee and a standing martingale over 1.30 and its rider has no shoes on and is blasting out chav tunes from their phone, and the horse is tiny with a 28stone rider. Does anyone have anything to add??
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Ohhhhhhh we havent had "Im 28 stone am I too heavy for my 11.2"

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so you are saying I either need to loose weight or get a new pony.....
 
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Does anyone have anything to add??
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well as it happens ..............

the rider is infact a complete novice whom has sat on a horse a grand total of 3 times and the horse that she is now riding (with ALL the latest fashion) is infact a highly strung TB x
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OH and of course the horse is wearing over tight multi coulered bandages AND fluffy boots!!!!!!
 
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Ohhhhhhh we havent had "Im 28 stone am I too heavy for my 11.2"

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so you are saying I either need to loose weight or get a new pony.....

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Pretty much......... but not if you have all the kit listed above correctly used and fitted!
 
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Now i've offended everybody that owns a bay , tows with a nissan micra (?) , ride in a standing martingale , uses hyperflexion or rollkur AND people that like parrelli that dont have a microchip planted in there heads .

Who else shall I upset , i'm on a roll
tongue.gif


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Actually, you don't have to try so hard to be offensive. It just seems to come naturally to you.
S
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I'm doing quite well to control myself
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how about its a light drizzle on a warm august morning , should i turn out my sooper dooper dressage neddy in sandschool for his daily half an hour or do you think he should go on horse walker instead? and should he wear his stable bandages or his full length sport boots in case he gets a knock? and which rug , heavywieght rambo or fal surpreme?
 
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Now i've offended everybody that owns a bay , tows with a nissan micra (?) , ride in a standing martingale , uses hyperflexion or rollkur AND people that like parrelli that dont have a microchip planted in there heads .

Who else shall I upset , i'm on a roll
tongue.gif


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Actually, you don't have to try so hard to be offensive. It just seems to come naturally to you.
S
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I'm doing quite well to control myself
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Or do those nice men in uniforms step in?
S
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how about its a light drizzle on a warm august morning , should i turn out my sooper dooper dressage neddy in sandschool for his daily half an hour or do you think he should go on horse walker instead? and should he wear his stable bandages or his full length sport boots in case he gets a knock? and which rug , heavywieght rambo or fal surpreme?

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erm sorry?? take posh dressage neddy out of its 20x20m stable in LIGHT DRIZZLE?? you do know it'll melt?
 
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Now i've offended everybody that owns a bay , tows with a nissan micra (?) , ride in a standing martingale , uses hyperflexion or rollkur AND people that like parrelli that dont have a microchip planted in there heads .

Who else shall I upset , i'm on a roll
tongue.gif


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Actually, you don't have to try so hard to be offensive. It just seems to come naturally to you.
S
smile.gif


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I'm doing quite well to control myself
grin.gif


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Or do those nice men in uniforms step in?
S
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Oh yes
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They have to phisically restrain my fingers
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One man at this precise moment is knitting a little white straight jacket for my index finger
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My horse hasnt seen a back, teeth, saddle fitter/checker....... so you think he is just being naughty trying to buck me off, or shall i sell him for meat!!!!

If I should sell him for meat, should he go to Potters or shall I ship him abroad so I get more money to go towards my next disaster/horse!!!
 
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And - on the same drizzly august morning - my native has 4 rugs on - do you think that might be one too many?

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Only 4 how cruel are you.... I'd have at least 7 on it... and maybe even travel boots to keep his furry leggy weggys warm....
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Does the horse have shoes? or is it hobbling because that nice natural barefoot trimmer has been to see it?

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No it wears those Tenesee Walking horse shoe things you know:
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Wormer? Horses get worms? Why do they eat earth worms then? As they obviously do eat earth worms, if I keep my horse in 24/7 and only take it out to ride at the weekends, then I won't need to worm it will I!
 
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