Does anyone want to start a debate on the following...?

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Can't believe this is still going - Arwen I think you have created a monster!
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Yes, I think she has. Its has gone off on a complete tangent though
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I dont know about you guys, but I was thinking of getting my 3 year old daughter a quad bike and let her drive it down the M23...do you think its safe?

Obviously I would be following her in my Range Rover, whilst drinking brandy from the bottle....
 
"My horse has jumped 8ft 1 at home. We tie hedgehog skins to the poles so that she learns not to touch them with her legs; it really does work wonders! Then when we do gridwork, I get eight of my grooms to stand, one to the side of each jump. As we go over, they pick the pole up and hit my horse on the legs. It is amazingly effective; once she has been hit like this she gives every pole at least a foot's clearance next time round. It is a real shame we cant get the same performance from her at shows, because there we never seem to be able to get her off the lorry. She stands there trembling and sweating, and of course we cant whip her to get her out - as we do when she tries to stay in her stable at home - in case someone reports us. I personally dont think it's cruel; after all, we have seen how well she can perform at home; why shouldnt she do it at shows? I think she could be a world beater if only we could get her to unload at a show. Does anyone have any ideas what we could do?"
 
Thats is how my parents taught me to drive. It is highly recomended that you should do this, especially at a young age. They learn quicker. Ahh the good old brandy and the quad bike. Don't forget to strap her to the quad in her wellies!
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I saw a photo of a horse in a book once, so I am buying a hors. He is a 2 year old TB that was a racehorse, I hav alridy bought a double bridal, drop noseband and standing martingail 4 him. Will I need spurs?

Oh and how much should I pay for him?

The vet said he'd already had two foles, one of them was by Ryan's Son, should I pay more for him?

Does NE1 no where I can keep him?
 
what about the novice 8 year (pertunia) and mummy needing a fast pony to beat christabelle windsor-jones in jump offs, doesnt want a kick kick!! has 35k to spend!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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what about the novice 8 year (pertunia) and mummy needing a fast pony to beat christabelle windsor-jones in jump offs, doesnt want a kick kick!! has 35k to spend!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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I have the perfect pony my 25 year old welshie thats back is so dipped its stomach is on the floor , think it would be perfect already jumped two GP's this month
But dont turn up unless your wearing you nike airs and a pumping out chav beats from your phone
oh and u have to bring ur own upside down pelham and st. martinagle please
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But I do want 40k for her as she was bred by me and is the daughter of Arko
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ETA - (Arko is my donkey stallion
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but you can believe what you want
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Ditto, read first page and just had a look at this last page and am in stitches. Will have to find time to look at all the pages in between now. Might save them for when I am feeling a bit down.
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I shall give you both a quick update!
In order to ride a horse you must either be wearing nike airs / socks, no hat, a big mac, fries, and brandy. You also need to be listening to "chav beats" on your phone.
Tacking up. You will need an upside down pelham, double bridle or overly harsh driving bit in order to keep control. Also use a grackle, or noseband of similar strength, a standing martingale, a bungee, harbridge and side reins. The saddle must be too tight and rub arouns their withers (Horses like this)
Getting on. You must lunge your horse far too fast over 1.30m fences until it falls over, then quickly hop on and your away!
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OMG, I found this today and have just had the whole thing. Have to keep muffling the laughter as am at work and am getting very funny looks.

While we're here... my horse has had some really bad tendon problems. My friend has advised shipping him over to Ireland to get his legs fired. I am worried about getting caught out doing this, does anybody know any good ways of disguising this technique?
 
"I cant afford to buy a bit for my horse; couldnt afford a bridle so I've made one out of that stuff they use to tie up straw bales. I do, however, have an old bike that I no longer use. Would it be ok to take off the bicycle chain, cut it to size and use this as a bit?"
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The bike chain is an excelent idea! Horses like the taste of oil, as for the bailing twince.. I think maybe old electric fencing would be a bit stronger? If the horse doesn't stop you can always give em a quick zap!
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While we're here... my horse has had some really bad tendon problems. My friend has advised shipping him over to Ireland to get his legs fired. I am worried about getting caught out doing this, does anybody know any good ways of disguising this technique?

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Nah, don't bother, there's a bloke down the road here who'll do it here. The same one who'll measure your full-up 14.2 in the 138 cm classes if you bung him enough dosh. And he'll back-date your flu vaccines and everything. Everyone knows him. Just ask at the yard.

(true, all true... sigh)
 
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TBHExcellent reading though - and so much of it is far to close to the truth!

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never a truer word spoken in jest!!!!!!
 
I hate Cobs, particularly the naturally kept looking ones with long dirty tatty feathers & long tangled manes...you know...the unkept look.
......And why are their riders always fat arsed & covered in happy hacker fluorescent tatt?
 
Eh you. parelli is great! It's just so much fun bouncing enormous balls around the field and waving around carrot sticks. I might even try to ride my beautiful scatty arab one day.It's definately worth the £100's I've spent. How dare you suggest otherwise!
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OMG!!! I just read 11 pages of that twaddle and i am sat here in stiches!!

I am alone too so i look crazy!!

Would just like to add that i do actually quite often ride in my trainers and my big hooped earrings, and sometimes without a hat, i know its wrong but i do!
 
hillarious thread, I remember some of these!

Have we had...

My 15.2hh cob is very lazy and like to plod along, leaning on my hands with his nose on the floor. Would a stronger bit help to lift his head up so he is on the bridle? I don't really want to kick him because it makes my feet come out of my stirrups but I really want him to be a showjumper. What can I do?
 
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My 15.2hh cob is very lazy and like to plod along, leaning on my hands with his nose on the floor. Would a stronger bit help to lift his head up so he is on the bridle? I don't really want to kick him because it makes my feet come out of my stirrups but I really want him to be a showjumper. What can I do?

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If i were you I would feed him only 2 handfuls of hay a week as then he will be more energetic, and those pikey cobs do have a tendancy to be so lazy. Also I always like to use 12" spurs with spikey rowels on them - they will make the laziest horse move, although I do have a problem fitting them over my chav shoes. Also I think the upside pelham would be a huge benefit in this instance. Maybe use a pelham and a cheltenham gag at the same time would be best.
Three whips should be used on this horse - one for either side, and 1 to use on its head to make it put its ears forward.... The whip around it ears should help to pick its head off the floor too. I would probably recommend fitting a buckstop too as with the spurs and whip it will probably start bucking.
I would buy a new saddle off ebay - as yours probably doesn't fit - but don't use a saddle to fit your ebay saddle - that will only cost too much money.....
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I'm a bit bored...

What do you all think of Parelli?

Useless load of twaddle i have seen

Um... should I jump my two year old under the saddle?

yeah why not...im sure most would agree

and er is it right to tie children's legs to the stirrups?

yep - my kids dont get a say in the matter..i tie them to my 17.1hh boy and whack him on the ass so he bucks a rodeo!

who wears wellies to ride in? etc etc

8inch stillettos all the way!

Seriously now, what do you think are the most controversial issues that spark the most debates on here?
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anyway back to the original question - i always love the debate about peoples perceptions/wanting sympathy for mis-treating their horses!
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