Does fear hold you back?

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trojanpony

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I have noticed quite a few threads from people who are dealing with fear in various forms which is preventing from enjoying their horses/riding to the full. Having had to deal with a it myself after a horrible fall two years ago this really interests me. I'm curious to know:
Do you feel that fear is holding you back?
In what way?
Do you feel your fear is rational or irrational and why?
Can you trace your fear back to a particular situation/experience/time?
Do you feel you get more fearful as you get older?
What have you tried to deal with your fear?
 
Do you feel that fear is holding you back?
Yes

In what way?
Jumping

Do you feel your fear is rational or irrational and why?
Rational as I fell off

Can you trace your fear back to a particular situation/experience/time?
Yes, I fell off at a show last year and Iv been petrified of falling off since!

Do you feel you get more fearful as you get older?
Yes, when I was little I used to do all sorts :)

What have you tried to deal with your fear?
Rescue remedy, always wearing my body protector when jumping. Iv also been working on our bond together, mainly out hacking, to try and build my trust in her, which has helped loads. Luckily where I am now has an indoor school with a soft rubber surface so we all go in there and practise together and help each other along, which has made it into fun more than scary! Plus I just jump 2ft jumps :) :)
 
Do you feel that fear is holding you back? Yes

In what way? Imagining the worst case scenario when mounted.

Do you feel your fear is rational or irrational and why? Both! Rational, had a few bad wrecks. Irrational, the things my mind thinks can happen never do.

Can you trace your fear back to a particular situation/experience/time? Yup.

Do you feel you get more fearful as you get older? Most definitely.

What have you tried to deal with your fear? Ignore it? :rolleyes: Have tried loads of things. Some days I'm great and can get on and ride well, and the next day I get on, he flicks an ear, and I have a panic attack. I'm a work in progress. What really ticks me off is I'm a capable enough rider to deal with dang near anything, and the only thing that is standing in my way is ... well ... me! :(
 
Do you feel that fear is holding you back?
yes

In what way?
jumping

Do you feel your fear is rational or irrational and why?
kinda of both really, i over think things but i seem to make them worse in my mind.. but i am sensible.. if that makes sense

Can you trace your fear back to a particular situation/experience/time?
an instructor, who used to force me to leave my comfort zone and then when i started to not want to jump higher, she out me on the horses who couldnt/wouldnt jump at all and forced me to ride them and jump them so i started to expect every horse to run out or stop at the fence

Do you feel you get more fearful as you get older?
not really, i have had to sort of over come it a little, and jumped 4 foot on my friends horse! (i was VERY chuffed with that)

What have you tried to deal with your fear?
i have tried alot of things really, working the height up etc. but nothing really has worked. apart from totally trusting the horse
 
Do you feel that fear is holding you back?
Absolutely :(

In what way?
I have to fight my nervousness from when I get on my mare, to the moment I get off again. She's nervous too so we feel each other's fears.

Do you feel your fear is rational or irrational and why?
It's quite rational. Horse riding's a dangerous activity, and I've returned to riding late in life so I'm not very skilled. Plus I have osteoporosis.

Can you trace your fear back to a particular situation/experience/time?
No, I'm just aware of the dangers and have a vivid imagination and a slightly unsuitable horse!

Do you feel you get more fearful as you get older?
Yes. When I was young I was much braver.

What have you tried to deal with your fear?
Each time I ride, I gently take myself and my horse slightly out of our comfort zone in the hope we'll gain confidence in each other. In time, I hope we'll overcome our shared fearfulness.
 
Thanks for the comments. For me, I would say my fear was obviously rational based on having had a bas experience. However, very soon it was irrational, because I knew that my horse was safe, but couldn't help feeling naturally much more fearful than before (whereas before I wouldn't have felt fear, even if the horse was bucking/rearing, after I would be fearful without any particular action from him). In general though, I do feel I've got more fearful as I've got older. When I was a teenager I'd have happily galloped/jumped anywhere, whereas now it takes a bit more courage or I have to 'make' myself do it despite feeling a bit of fear.
 
Do you feel that fear is holding you back?
Yes

In what way?
Jumping

Do you feel your fear is rational or irrational and why?
Rational as I fell off

Can you trace your fear back to a particular situation/experience/time?
Yes, I fell off as a young adult smashed my leg in and no-one encouragedme to get back on so i didnt and 10 years later i wanted to sort out my fear so took lessons and then ended up buying my mare !

Do you feel you get more fearful as you get older?
Yes, when I was younger I used to do all sorts!!

What have you tried to deal with your fear?
A good instructor who is patient and sypathetic, she encourages my confidence and also develops the bond between me and my mare she has got me from not wanting to even pop a cross pole to jumping 2ft 6" and triple combinations, so she must be doing something right....i do have the odd wobble and have to go back to basics and i dont feel comfortable to jump without her present ....
 
i wish i could do everything i use to do as a kid BUT i am an adult (sadly on crutches after me and my horse trying to fly ;)) i have 3 kids and a hubby.

My life is really hard on crutches i can not take my kids to school or anything. i wish i could go galloping on my horse across fields but i am filled with terror what if something happens and i die :eek::eek: totally mad but thats what i think i know totally weird but i am lol!!
 
Do you feel that fear is holding you back?
Yes

In what way?
jumping

Do you feel your fear is rational or irrational and why?
Rational - falling off

Can you trace your fear back to a particular situation/experience/time?
yes - fell off at home last year and ended up in hospital with an injured back

Do you feel you get more fearful as you get older?
yes

What have you tried to deal with your fear?
Rescue remedy
 
trojanpony said:
Do you feel that fear is holding you back?YEP!!
In what way? Jumping
Do you feel your fear is rational or irrational and why?Rational, my horse has a huge, scopey jump and I'm a novice jumper
Can you trace your fear back to a particular situation/experience/time?No
Do you feel you get more fearful as you get older?No, I'm gaining confidence with my horse
What have you tried to deal with your fear?lessons
Click to expand...

Hope this helps!!
 
Do you feel that fear is holding you back?
Sometimes

In what way?
Jumping

Do you feel your fear is rational or irrational and why?
Rational and irrational. He loves jumping while others are there, but is a complete nutter if I try and do it alone (Except for today! Woo!)

Can you trace your fear back to a particular situation/experience/time?
No, I'm just a wimp and don't want to get hurt.

Do you feel you get more fearful as you get older?
Yes!

What have you tried to deal with your fear?
Just forcing myself to do it, or getting someone to give him a lead over scary jumps, then sometimes I can't physically get him to stop haha!
 
Do you feel that fear is holding you back?
yes.
In what way?
jumping wise. I don't jump as much as I'd like because of it.
Do you feel your fear is rational or irrational and why?
a bit of both...
Can you trace your fear back to a particular situation/experience/time?
no, it is because my mare rushes at jumps and can then dirty stop! I know that if I keep my leg on she will do it but I back off myself so how can I expect her not to ?
Do you feel you get more fearful as you get older?
I'm still young so I hope it lessens..the less I jump though the worse it gets.
What have you tried to deal with your fear?
I am much better with regular lessons and my confidence improves massively but the fear returns if I stop having them and eventually comes back worse than before.
 
What holds me back is the fear of my horse taking off with me again and having another fall.(this was before he was sent off to be proffessionally broken).He is really quiet now but Im just nervous.
 
Do you feel that fear is holding you back?
I used to, but now I have realised that I just don't want to do somethings anymore, so I now enjoy more 'tame' things and let others aspire to great achievements!

Do you feel your fear is rational or irrational and why?
I think it is irrational because it doesn't help anything. I find my mind 'freezes' if something happens, so I am working on my reactions.

Can you trace your fear back to a particular situation/experience/time?
Yep, I encouraged someone else to do something and they had a bad fall - it destroyed my confidence in my judgement.

Do you feel you get more fearful as you get older?
Yes, but also what you want to do changes, so important to ensure you are doing what you want, not trying to impress others!

What have you tried to deal with your fear?
The one thing I think can really help is a good secure position, so have gone absolutely back to beginnings and re-learnt to ride with a biomechanics coach!
 
I discussed this with a young friend. I said that I didnt have the nerve for serious jumping. Her answer made me grin. She said I was a bit of a wuss but then I go suddenly widerbeesty and jump somthing that she wouldnt dreem of .:D
 
Do you feel that fear is holding you back? Definitely!

In what way? I have a huge fear that i'll be bolted off with or chucked off.

Do you feel your fear is rational or irrational and why? It's irrational because it's never actually happened to me, but I am not massively experienced so I am fearful that my inexperience will land me in trouble. Also I am breastfeeding a 3 month old and I fear that if I come off and die he wont have a Mum and he'll starve to death (silly I know)

Can you trace your fear back to a particular situation/experience/time? I have had some very nappy horses but I put that down to my own fear transferring to them but I have managed to work through all the issues. Really, i'ts my own vivid imagination and the good old "what if" scenario!!!

Do you feel you get more fearful as you get older? Yes

What have you tried to deal with your fear? Yes, by not riding for a few months and when I do I stay in the school and have a very expereined freind teach me.

I am my own worst eneny as I like to ride ex racehorses, but they have all been superstars, I guess I think in my head what they "could" do and expect the worst each time
 
Do you feel that fear is holding you back?
It used to.

In what way?
I was scared of riding in big open spaces so couldn't go xc despite the fact I have a brilliant eventer.

Do you feel your fear is rational or irrational and why?
Irrational as it's unlikely to get bolted with again.

Can you trace your fear back to a particular situation/experience/time?
Bolted with across exmoor whilst trying out a horse (was a true bolt)

What have you tried to deal with your fear?
I just told myself to man up what's the worst that can happen. I bought a nutty TB and for some reason he has completely restored my confidence. I can hack for hours on end, have a gallop in a field and go xcing without having a melt down. With loads of support from my RI and my mum I feel my confidence is totally restored it just took time.

Hope this helps. :)
 
Fear used to hold me back, still does a little bit but i can work through it now.

I was afraid to jump my horse, and at one point terrified of cantering him.

It was rational - he was very naughty and would buck in canter and always after a jump, once I got concussion and ended up in hospital.

I found having lessons didn't work, I think the horse had got such a bad reputation on the yard the instructor was too worried about me falling off again! I read books about confidence which didn;t help. Rescue remedy didn;t help, neither did proper alcohol. Hypnotism DID help. In the end I moved yards as work pressures weren't helping, my friend there gave me lots of encouragement but never bitched, she took me to a riding club and they were also very supportive. So gradually over a year I got my confidence back, horse's behaviour improved and I MADE myself jump and did lots of hacking which improved my seat, taught me to sit to the bucks and spooks etc.
So now I will jump 2'6 in a competition and I jump at home in our field for fun. If I wanted to go higher I would need lessons but I am happy with that. I have also had a go at xc and hunting. Occasionally my nerves will get the better of me, and I worked out it's normally a time when I feel stressed about work or something, so these feelings are certainly all linked.
 
Ginger_Nut said:
Do you feel that fear is holding you back? Yes

In what way? Imagining the worst case scenario when mounted.

Do you feel your fear is rational or irrational and why? Both! Rational, had a few bad wrecks. Irrational, the things my mind thinks can happen never do.

Can you trace your fear back to a particular situation/experience/time? Yup.

Do you feel you get more fearful as you get older? Most definitely.

What have you tried to deal with your fear? Ignore it? :rolleyes: Have tried loads of things. Some days I'm great and can get on and ride well, and the next day I get on, he flicks an ear, and I have a panic attack. I'm a work in progress. What really ticks me off is I'm a capable enough rider to deal with dang near anything, and the only thing that is standing in my way is ... well ... me! :(
Click to expand...

This!

Quite reassuring to know I'm not alone out there though. ;)
 
Fear is not necessarily based on rational thought processes as linked to actual precipitating events and factors.Quite often they can be traced to incidents which have no logical connection to the fear or phobia.Once an irrational thought starts it can gain momentum and unless nipped in the bud is likely to escalate.It is useful to challenge the validity of the fear,and the underlying belief which invariably fuels the anxiety.I am of the belief,through my professional experience ,that if any rider does have anxieties and related fears and dysfunctional beliefs,they would benefit from some cognitive behavioural therapy,best provided by a therapist who specialises in sport therapy.If stuck do question where the fear has arisen from,and go back in time to trace the roots of the anxiety.Fears can also be learned from other people.Question whether you have had any problems related to the fear,and start to draw up a list of positive experiences to utilise when anxiety is invoked.Use the positive self statements to counter negative ideation.
This is a very brief mini guide.
 
Do you feel that fear is holding you back? Yes

In what way? Just getting on and riding!

Do you feel your fear is rational or irrational and why? Yes to both. I link it to things that have happened and to things my brain think are to happen even though they don't happen!

Can you trace your fear back to a particular situation/experience/time? Yes to my old horse who we think was cold backed I rode him for 6 months with no problems hacked him out on my own no problem. Got on him one day and he threw me off it all happened so quickly and without reason and I hurt myself quite bad as I landed against a fence then onto gravel. My current horse is a star but I wont hack him out by myself which really does annoying me as he is super in all ways, ok he is a bit jumpy by him self but he would never do anything to hurt me he just jumps to the side if he spooks but he did once do mini rears and spin round on me out hacking with a friend and I just had to get off as I had visions of him bolting and me falling off.

Do you feel you get more fearful as you get older? Yes definitely I just need a slap to knock me out of this nonsense.

What have you tried to deal with your fear? Yes and no. Yes - tried having lessons in the mengae and hacking out with extra safe horse as my company but these silly thoughts still go through my mind. Also had someone else hack my horse out by him self to try and get him less spooky. I was thinking about going to a hypnotherapist to see if they can drill YOU WILL BE FINE into my mind!
 
Yes - I was too scared to get on. Fell off my second horse in a freak accident and broke my back. I've since had lessons and built a bond with my new horse. Still don't feel comfortable on group rides unless I'm able to set the pace. We're off to a show jumping competition tomorrow (weather permitting). I'm Bricking it as prior to jumping yesterday ,I hadn't jumped since April when I broke my back. Having to hack alone to the venue too which is an hour away. You only live once :)
 
Does fear hold you back?
Yes
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Do you feel that fear is holding you back?
In some aspects of riding, not with others

In what way?
Mainly jumping, I have dealt with my fear of going fast (was truly bolted with as a kid - fell off & broke my leg)

Do you feel your fear is rational or irrational and why?
Irrational, I have had worse falls not jumping, but jumping makes me feel sick. I will jump the odd log out hacking, but cannot do it in the school.

Can you trace your fear back to a particular situation/experience/time?
Yes in regards to jumping, I had a clinic with a well known SJer (writes for a horse mag) and he destroyed the little confidence I had spent ages building up :(

Do you feel you get more fearful as you get older?
In some ways have become bolder, I hack for longer and have tried loads of other stuff such as horse-boarding :D but yes, as I am aware I don't bounce so good anymore!

What have you tried to deal with your fear?
Did have jump lessons, but have pretty much given up now bar the odd log. In regards to going faster, I have pushed myself out of my comfort zone just a bit each time and now gallop happily though am still super cautious in company and choose carefully who I go fast with. I also have been having flat lessons and feel they have helped me enormously with my confidence and how to deal with situations that may arise. It just doesn't work with jumping :(
 
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Do you feel that fear is holding you back?
Yes

In what way?
Jumping

Do you feel your fear is rational or irrational and why?
Rational as I fell off

Can you trace your fear back to a particular situation/experience/time?
I've always had butterflies even with previous horses but it got worse when I bought my youngster and had a lot of serious falls resulting in broken arena fencing, him standing on me and both of us landing on our heads nearly breaking our necks.

Do you feel you get more fearful as you get older?
More cautious and sensible, yes

What have you tried to deal with your fear?
Lessons, jumping other horses, riding around jumps, lots of trotting/ canter poles with wings at the side, rescue remedy, wearing a body protector, helping other riders when jumping and the most drastic was putting my youngster out on loan and getting a schoolmaster on loan to help me decide whether selling my boy would be the best thing (2 months in and I miss him and his idiocy so much, I don't think I'll ever sell him :D )... I'm still terrified but have got to the point of not feeling like throwing up when I imagine myself jumping. One lady at the yard also helped me realise that I was putting myself under too much pressure and it didn't matter if I never jumped as there's plenty of other things. I can enjoy doing with my boy. I was forcing myself to do it as I wanted to give him the experience more than myself.
 
Do you feel that fear is holding you back?
Yes

In what way?
hacking out in Open Spaces

Do you feel your fear is rational or irrational and why?
Rational as I came off

Can you trace your fear back to a particular situation/experience/time?
I got bolted with and had to resort to jumping off, I broke my shoulder, fractured my hip, broke my knee and ankle, I was in plaster for 3 months.

Do you feel you get more fearful as you get older?
I have realized that coming off ruddy well hurts now!

What have you tried to deal with your fear?
Lots of lessons, have booked to go on a confidence course specifically for riding in open spaces (course is in two weeks will report back), have decided to walk away from buying another horse and instead to invest the money I would normally spend on stabling on lessons, lots of hacking out on different horses and riding in lots of different terrains.....need to get the exhilaration back:-)
 
Do you feel that fear is holding you back?

It has done. I haven't made the most of the horses around me over the last couple of years and have felt that I wasn't good enough to progress and my confidence plummeted from there.

In what way?

I used ot imagine "what if" and convince myself something would go wrong even if it never did. My mare could do soemthing like refuse to pick her feet up and I would take it as a notion that she would be a moose and as she was quite sensitive she would pick up on my being tense and then go from there.

Do you feel your fear is rational or irrational and why?

A little of both. My loss of confidence came at a time when everything seemed to go belly up and it just spilled across into my riding. I had a nervous Welsh who was very testing and I took a couple of hard falls from him. It wasn't until he had gone and I got my mare that it affected me.

It is irrational at the same time because the horses I have ridden since have never done anything to cause me fear, but I expect all of them to do what he did and effectively tarr them all with the same brush, which doesn't help and it isn't fair on them.

Can you trace your fear back to a particular situation/experience/time?

No set occasion, but as above, a couple of incidences with my pony and it was a snowball effect.

Do you feel you get more fearful as you get older?

I am probably more aware of my mortality! I have, over the last year made a lot of progress.

What have you tried to deal with your fear?

I have ridden a friend's horse who has given me a huge confidence boost - he isn;t the easiest but he has done me wonders. I have also been riding another little Welsh, Teddy, who was the first horse I rode other than my friend's who was a bit of a comfort blanket, and he was great. I am very grateful to his owner for letting me ride him and seeing that I could transfer my confidence. I then rode another horse, who a year ago if I had heard about what he got up to I wouldn't have touched with a barge pole, but I got on him and did some nice work.

My 4 year old [who I've owned since 5 months and bought when I didn't have confidence issues] has begun his ridden career and I've been worries about how I would cope, even though he is a very easy horse. Yesterday, we had our first lesson, and we did brilliantly. He even had a small spook when he tripped over his feet [kind of bunny hopped forward when he lost his back end] and I just pushed him on and carried on without another thought which was a massive thing for me. I am very proud of me for that!

I have to beat my own demons, and don;t want to use things like rescue remedy. I have come very far on my own and am carrying on with that. I may resort to hypnotherapy to help at some point, but for now, it is small steps and I am making a lot of progress.
 
Do you feel that fear is holding you back?
At times, yes

In what way?
Jumping
Cantering in the school...

Do you feel your fear is rational or irrational and why?
Jumping, rational
Cantering in the school irrational as I am a speed freak when cantering on hacks and I am even happy galloping about (occasionally sans stirrups!) plus the fact that the fear stems from an accident which should have lead to a double fear and only led to this!

Can you trace your fear back to a particular situation/experience/time?
Both stem from accidents.
Jumping more rational as I was thrown from my horse 3 times in as many minutes due to her technique of hurling herself over the jump (she, it turns out had also had a bad experience.) I lost confidence and then each time I tried to jump her I got nervous and ended up scaring her, making the same accident seem to perpetuate itself! She even now really overjumps and pisses off at the other side of the jump.

Cantering in the school is less rational, I was cantering in the school and pony set off, I couldn't control her and after about 12 laps of the school in borderline gallop her saddle slipped (due to the fact I hadn't tightened the girth... idiot ;) ) I landed under her belly and watched her back legs hop over me!
I have no real fear of saddles slipping and STILL forget to check my girth sometimes *rolleyes*

Do you feel you get more fearful as you get older?
In a way (at 19 I am barely able to comment though). When I was 11-16 I only rode really ploddy ponies so most crazy things I could only IMAGINE doing because my ponies were far too sensible to do daft stuff like that! Now I have a pony that is capable of them, I have to risk assess them and carry on from there!

What have you tried to deal with your fear?
Well, for both they were "cured"(to their current levels) by riding ponies which weren't my pony!
I took a lot of lessons on riding school horses when I was at uni (and pony at home) and soon realised that they weren't going to set off with me. I also found their canters wierd and when I got home and cantered my pony it felt soo normal and comfortable that I immediately relaxed and she did a brilliant canter and I never really looked back. We have a long way to go in the whole "cantering sensibly in the school" though!
Jumping I went out to Italy and worked there for the summer, whilst there I rode a wonderful schoolmistress who started her life as the Italian equivalent of a BSJA pony. She also was a little lazy so when I jumped her (really as a joke it was only a foot) I really had to WANT to jump, otherwise she wouldn't get the energy for it. This progressed to me jumping logs and ditches when hacking her and finished with me jumping their ex NH/P2Per for the first time since his last P2P race!
When at home though and trying to jump I still am scared if the jump is more than 1/2 a foot and I'm not wearing a BP and there isn't a placing pole...
 
Does fear hold you back?Yes
In what way? Cantering.Cantering in jumping position with short stirrups.
Do you feel your fear is rational or irrational and why?
Both.Been bucked off three times in one lession on trot/canter transitions,hit the ground hard.Now back checked,new saddle,still terrified of the moment itself,transition to canter.
Cantering with short stirrups-just feel terrified what i have no control(i know i do have it),just feels really scary:(
And a irrational fear what i will hurt his back.
Can you trace your fear back to a particular situation/experience/time?
Yes,being bucked off three times in one hour,about a month ago,after that done some canter work,but getting worse and worse till point i just cant do it,i feel sick and start to cry.Pathetic,i know.
Do you feel you get more fearful as you get older?
Dont know,i only started riding 2 years ago,and i'm only 32.
What have you tried to deal with your fear?
Not a lot,as i dont know what to try.Rescue remedy does work,but then im forgetting to take it.Lessions help a bit.Take it steady and just do what im comfortable with at the moment,and push myself tiny bit more every time.
 
Does fear hold you back?
Yes.

In what way?
I can't ride in the field.

Do you feel your fear is rational or irrational and why?
Sort of rational, as I came off, but I now keep imagining situations and I get too nervous to ride properly.

Can you trace your fear back to a particular situation/experience/time?
I was riding in the field and Tont bolted, bucking as he went. I sat the first few, but then flew off and landed on my arm. I was lucky that I didn't break it.
He doesn't like riding in the field though, so behaves badly nearly everytime I try to.

Do you feel you get more fearful as you get older?
I'm only 15, so I can't really say :)

What have you tried to deal with your fear?
I tried to work through it, but I have just decided to stick with hacking, which he is fine with - although I can't jump or school him :(
 
Yes, fear holds me back, but it is perfectly rational. If I fall off and hurt myself there is no sick pay, no time off, no one to look after the horses. No one else to take care of the family or the dogs. So, whilst I am not afraid of the pain of falling off (though of course it would be horrible to break something or paralyse myself of course), it is the fear of what would happen if I were to end up on crutches or even with my arm in a sling that fills me with fear. it's annoying because I class myself as generally a very brave rider that would get on anything, but this fear of disability preventing me from caring for the horses definitely holds me back when it comes to the things I am prepared to do for my liveries in terms of riding.

ETA hacking on roads is another more recent fear for me.
 
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