Does it get better?

[charlotte0916]

Hello all,
I’ve written before about my hunt for a horse and do now have my new girl! It has been a rather rocky start though and I’m rather hoping for ‘it will get better’ reassurance.

In the 8 weeks I’ve had her so far it’s been:

- 2/3 weeks of frantically panicked unsettled horse on arrival. Understandable but zero sense of personal space so lots of unintentional bashing into me/my head/being stepped on in her blind panic.

-Her getting kicked through a fence despite being on individual turnout.

-She is obsessed with the other mares to the point of running me into the fence several times and needed lots of ground work to stop running me/the yard girls over on a whim.

-Comes in one Sunday with hugely swollen back legs and a high temp. Emergency call to vets to find cellulitis with spreading infection. 1 week of attempting to syringe antibiotics down her.

-No saddle for 3 weeks due to coronavirus delays and she is rather ‘opinionated’ (read pissy) on the lunge.

- notice a pattern of being grumpy to rug and tack up. Better when tied up terrible in the stable, teeth and feet flying. Have the vet to scope and she has grade 3/4 ulcers. Now being treated, barged out of the box first vet visit and had to be walked furiously on minimally controlled circle until the sedation took effect and threatened to kick the vet last time.

I brought her ironically because I was impressed with her being one of the most straightforward, easy going 5yr olds I’ve ever met. I didn’t have that ‘click’ instant personality match instantly but thought it would come with time as she’s such a sweetie. It’s got to the point a good day is simply not being threatened with being bitten or kicked. I passed over a ‘complicated’ mare before her who I clicked with well but thought might have too many issues. I can’t help but feel like I’ve either made the worst decision ever buying her or just have terrible luck.

Please reassure me - does it get better than this?!
- an owner at her wits end

 

[Meowy Catkin]

Cellulitis. That's bad luck in the first few weeks of ownership. I hope she's fully recovered now.

How was she kept at her previous yard and how long had she been there?

 

[charlotte0916]

Cellulitis. That's bad luck in the first few weeks of ownership. I hope she's fully recovered now.

How was she kept at her previous yard and how long had she been there?

It has rather felt like that - it’s becoming a bit of a running joke with friends that if it can happen it will! She’s thankfully over the cellulitis now, thank you. Religiously purple spraying and smothering in antibac anything that looks like it might think of being a nick seems to be keeping it at bay!

She was kept on individual turnout and previously on paired. We’ve found she’s better with a friend so now doing paired turnout for 10 hours per day. Previously she had 4 hours on sales livery for 7 weeks and unclear how much at her previous home.

 

[Meowy Catkin]

She's had a lot of upheaval recently and is only five. I had wondered if she'd previously been at the same yard, in the same herd for a while, but you might never know the answer as that would be the unclear time before she was at the sales livery.

Regardless, it's great that she is happier in a pair and that you have been able to make that change for her.

 

[shortstuff99]

Yes it can get better but will take time and effort. Mares can be very defensive when they feel stressed and don't trust you.

Consistent training and handling in a fair way will show her that she can trust you and she will then settle. It can be really hard but try to always be really calm/chilled in your interactions with her, mares can get even worse if they sense you getting stressed.

Also once all the medical issues are sorted she will settle too.

 

[charlotte0916]

She's had a lot of upheaval recently and is only five. I had wondered if she'd previously been at the same yard, in the same herd for a while, but you might never know the answer as that would be the unclear time before she was at the sales livery.

Regardless, it's great that she is happier in a pair and that you have been able to make that change for her.

I know she was with her previous owner since she was two but may have moved at least once in that time. I keep trying to bare in mind that she’s had a fairly rubbish time recently and it looks like she may have had the ulcers for a number of months bless her. I’m trying to just exercise patience and hope with time she will become sweeter and easier as she is happier/healthier.

 

[charlotte0916]

Yes it can get better but will take time and effort. Mares can be very defensive when they feel stressed and don't trust you.

Consistent training and handling in a fair way will show her that she can trust you and she will then settle. It can be really hard but try to always be really calm/chilled in your interactions with her, mares can get even worse if they sense you getting stressed.

Also once all the medical issues are sorted she will settle too.

This is a good point to bare in mind, thank you. She is definitely very reactive to how I’m feeling on a given day. I think I’m finding it a bit tricky as we didn’t instantly click as personalities so it’s a bit less of a base to work from in terms of liking/getting along together if you see what I mean. I’m hoping she’ll be one of those mares that takes a while to come around but once she’s on side will be a gem.

 

[SEL]

If it's any consolation my mare turned into a hormonal witch recently when a new mare arrived on the yard and I'm sporting a few decent bruises too. I think we can under estimate their hormones and how unsettled they get with changes to their herd . I'm sure yours will settle but I did also get hold of some herbal mare stuff. No idea if it helped but it made me feel like I was doing something!

 

[rextherobber]

You have my sympathy, I bought a mare, and like you, she tried to bite and /or kick me every day ( she even managed to cow kick me when I was on board) She gave every appearance of loathing me, she'd go for me in the field, crush me against walls, she reared and napped when ridden. Fortunately ( or not!) I could not in all conscience, sell her, she was frankly dangerous, so I kept her. I used to honestly dread having to catch and ride her, but gradually, almost without noticing when, the behaviours stopped. (It was at least 18 months before I'd let her get between me and the stable door though!) Like yours, she was very easy when I tried her, ( I strongly suspect she had been sedated and mistreated). Anyway, I ignored the undesireable behaviours and praised the (few!) good, and gradually she settled down. I've had her 15 years this year, she is my horse of a lifetime and we have an amazing connection and have done so much together. I wish you all the best with your mare, they are complicated beasts, but oh, so worth it!

 

[Trouper]

She's very young, been unwell, ulcers making her constantly uncomfortable, been on sales livery and another recent move - to say nothing of Spring hormones - poor girl just needs time to get over all of that and to learn to trust you. I would just be taking the Summer to simply spend time with her, following a consistent and non-challenging routine so that the two of you settle down together. You know she is staying - she doesn't - so calm, gentle and reassuring handling will win through in the end.
And - yes - mares are SO worth it.!!

 

[Lyle]

Mares can take a long time and LOTS of work to gain their respect and trust. Personally (and I know I say this a lot) I'd be looking into solid groundwork exercises from a reputable type of method (think TRT, Down under horsemanship, Warrick Schiller etc).
I worked with an incredibly difficult rising 2yo who basically turned wild when I brought her home from the breeder. She'd only ever tolerated the breeder handling her so she took one look at me and went 'nice try, random lady'.
Lots of work later, all from the ground, and I honestly have a horse who I feel would jump through fire for me. She's the strongest personality, she loves hard but is still (and I'd say will always be) a one person horse.

 

[stormox]

I know she has been off with problems and unsettled by the move but you need to establish boundaries.
Being kicked or being run into the fence by a horse is not acceptable behaviour.
I think you need to teach her some manners - get out of my space, stand still etc. Be fair, consistant and firm.

 

[charlotte0916]

I’m so glad to hear that everyone is universally in agreement that mares are a challenge that take time, rather than I have made a particularly terrible mistake!

I am very keen on both manners and groundwork so have been doing lots of work with a dually/general groundwork in the arena and stable. She will now back up and move laterally of a voice command in the stable and out and will lift her head from grazing/hand walking with minimal resistance whereas before it was like being dragged by a 1 horsepower lawnmower! She will also generally lead well in a bridle or a dually but thinks a headcollar is more of a ‘directional suggestion’ so that will come later once we’re as clear as possible in the dually etc. Trying to stay one step ahead of her appears to be key atm, she’s a very smart cookie so will respond well to training but will decide it’s selective in the moment if you’ve not got your wits about you.

I think it probably would be beneficial to have a trainer who specialises in ground work too. Thank you all for your helpful suggestions and general reassurance!

 

[mustardsmum]

We bought a mare for my daughter. She was foot perfect in the yard where we got her from. When she came home to us she was a totally different horse - first time we brought her in from the field she just stood bucking whilst being tied up, wizzed around, squealed, pooed everywhere, threatened to kick, tail swishing, shaking. If I showed the videos you’d think she had never been touched by a human hand! A chat with the ex-owners abd they couldn’t believe it! We think coming from a busy yard to a small family home with just two other ponies just completely unsettled her. In turn we were very alarmed at her behaviour - I won’t deny she intimated me and a few groundwork sessions with an instructor helped me understand how best to handle her. I have have always had geldings and was shocked how this mare totally knocked my confidence. But we persevered, lots of ground work, always lead in a dually, we were quietly firm and gave her routine. We put her on Oestress and gut balancer and after about 6 months she finally started to settled. When we had issues we took professional advice. We did not resort to hitting or shouting, just methodical quiet handling. She’s very reactive on the ground and sometimes even just raising your hand to swipe a fly and her head was up and she’d roll her eyes (interestingly not so under saddle!!). Weird thing is, we know her entire history and she’s always been in lovely homes where the owners were professional and she’d been a competition pony. I don’t think for one minute she’s ever been hit around the head, I actually just think it’s her personality is sharp and reactive and tiny things can escalate with her. And I think the quiet environment with nothing really happening (no horses coming or going, not going on a horse Walker each day etc) sort of blew her mind for a bit!! I’d say it took a year before she finally softened and trusted us. Now, she’s the kindest mare and has the most amazing partnership with my daughter. She’s so chilled, as soon as she sees you she comes to you whickering and wanting attention. Four years on I don’t regret keeping her. We’ve certainly been on a journey with her. I hope your mare settles, she’s still a baby and her world has completely changed. Give her time to settle and get to know you and everything will fall into place.