Done it before - why can't I make the hardest decision this time?

I really feel for you. As others have said, I think you have already made the decision, it's just a question of when. Personally, I could not do it at a time when the horse looks happy and content. I could not plan a day. It would be a call made on the spur of the moment when I knew for sure it was time.

JUst an aside, the fact that she has had repeated lami attacks may point to there being another reason, perhaps EMS? Maybe you could ask your vet if you could try her on a course of metformin. It has helped a lot with my Cushings mare who kept getting lami.
 
If you didn't love her so much and care so deeply, it wouldn't hurt you like this. You sound like you do know what needs to be done, as does she.

Nothing can stop you from hurting, but you can help her, and you know that. It is the kindest thing to do but probably the worst part of owning any animal.

((((((((((((hugs))))))))))))
 
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