dont know what to do anymore...

L

littlemare_

Well-Known Member
Joined
5 April 2013
Messages
93
Location
Wales
Visit site
I currently part loan a mare who I adore. I was promised an all rounder who loved jumping with lots of future competing. However a month into the loan she came up lame, so was rested to get better ect but soon went lame again and again... Soon it came out she had always had the bad leg and would always be this way. Her owner said she would be fine for hacking and not to worry.
However she's came up very,very lame this time even on only hacks and I'm starting to feel cruel she's in work at all. She canters and bucks in the field but it just makes me feel bad and worry, she's too sweet to be in pain!

The owner is the YO and seems to put a lot on me and will just not show up so I end up doing all his other horses even if I'm not asked I just assume, although most days I get paid and do ride all his other horses. Sometimes he won't show up for a week.. The yard isn't that nice in terms of location/grazing/facilities and is expensive. Lots of liveries are leaving so its begining to get lonely.

So basically I'm paying a lot of money to loan the mare as just a light hack, when I was told she was/looked for an all rounder. I do so much hard work day in day out for YO and feel like I'm being taken advantage of. I'm not enjoying the horses like I should be. If he knew of her leg it was pure greed to loan her just for the money.
I have no idea if I should end the share or if I'm being unreasonable.. What would I do without a horse? I don't want to go back to a RS.. I love being able to ride all the horses at the yard and know I won't be able to do this elsewhere.. Any advice?:(

Chocolate chip cookies for anyone who read my 'little' vent!
 
I would have a word with YO, i assume it is him that owns the mare. Ask him if you ride one of the others and get the chance to do more with that one. It sounds lie the mare you are supposed to be riding and sharing should be retired.
If they wont do that then look for another horse to share, there are plenty of owners out there needing a sharer.
 
How old are you Littlemare? You sound very stressed. Are you saying that the owner/YO of the horses does not see them for a week at a time? Are you the only one feeding, turning out twice a day etc? If you ride his other horses, do you just do that off your own bat or is he giving you instructions on who to ride and when and how is he doing that if he is not there? Is there an adult (Mum/Dad) who could look into this for you?

If your share pony is hopping lame when ridden then has the vet been out?
 
I take it you arent riding the mare as she is lame?
What is the vets prognosis of the mare lameness?
 
I do get paid but for what I do its very little as I'm young (16). I feel like its not appreciated as YO is still always complaining:( he will text me to make sure they're OK and appear to put hay in fields occasionally but we don't see him very much at all recently. He tells me what horse to ride and what exersizes to do. When I go back to school he may come back more often or get someone else to help him.
Apparently the YO will only get worse as he is like this, although he used to be very responsible and still is in ways. Justseems to be becoming very hard to deal with and its just putting me down. Got to the point I feel like running away and quitting horses!
I depend on my unhorsey family for travel as I live in the middle of nowhere and no access to public transport so few yards around here ATM.. Took me about a year to find current share...

Im not riding the made as its not fair at all. I dont think he's ever had a vet out to her he just rests her and has the farrier out..
 
Well sixteen isnt very young! I would say it is good experience except it seems to be putting you off horses!
He will have to do something when you go back to school, how many horses does he own? I take it other liveries are just letting you get on with it?
 
Littlemare you sound very responsible and taking your role with these horses very seriously, however I do think that you are being expected to do what the YO should be there to do, and at least supervising in person.

You must consider you own safety, are you there on your own, or are t here other people around? You say liveries are leaving, is there any chance of getting a share or loan where they are moving to?

I understand that there are not many opportunities where you live, and your family are not horsey, but if this man is not caring for his horses properly you need the support of a knowledgeable adult to help support you, and consider if his actions need reporting.

I think you may need to walk away, and find a more responsible owner to share with, you will find that it is often true that as something comes to an end, you will be surprised by what other openings arise.
 
I don't want it to sound as if he's abandoned these horses, he does make sure they are cared for.
He owns six, at first it was a part time job which I loved but slowly it became more and more and we saw him less and less and it was very short notice if he wasn't coming rather than my actual hours. He also has livery with services so the whole yard is a bit stressed with this..
 
littlemare_ said:
I don't want it to sound as if he's abandoned these horses, he does make sure they are cared for.
He owns six, at first it was a part time job which I loved but slowly it became more and more and we saw him less and less and it was very short notice if he wasn't coming rather than my actual hours. He also has livery with services so the whole yard is a bit stressed with this..
Click to expand...

TBH he is taking the P!ss, Are the other liveries adults? if so then they or your parents need to have a word with him!
 
Yes the other liveries are adults. They are looking for a new yard and one is staying but keeping very quiet. I asked why he hasn't been down ect and he said he had to go to work.. He seems to be sick of running the yard and I have a feeling he wants to leave too, I feel bad if he is stressed too but I worry for his horses.
 
littlemare_ said:
Yes the other liveries are adults. They are looking for a new yard and one is staying but keeping very quiet. I asked why he hasn't been down ect and he said he had to go to work.. He seems to be sick of running the yard and I have a feeling he wants to leave too, I feel bad if he is stressed too but I worry for his horses.
Click to expand...

It is natural for you to worry about horses you have become attached to and done a lot for, but it is not your problem. If the owner has no longer time to run his business and care for his animals then he needs to make a decision what to do, you can not do this for him.

I think you need to talk this through with either your parents or someone you feel knows the situation, no matter how many hours you work there, you will in the end not be able to change what happens, and you might be better leaving now, or esle being very clear what hours you can do and not agree to go outside those.
 
Personally...I'd get out and find somewhere else to go. By the sounds of it you are being taken for a ride, and the more you cover for him with his horses, the more he will ask you to do it. If he can't manage to keep them anymore, then it's simple. He sells them. He doesn't ask a 16 year old to look after them for him.

I'd leave, and look for a loan share that is exactly what it is described as...an all rounder. Then go off and have fun with it, without getting texts all the time saying "by the way, mind looking after all 6 of my horses for me this week? Ta!"
 
Thank you all for your support! I spoke to YO this morning and we agreed to retire the mare and let her live out all summer! I'm so relieved for her at least.
He said I could loan one of his other mares which was fine but wanted me to do less days for the same money. He then went on to be horrible about all his liverys and how they needed to be more organised and how they irritated him.. and seemed annoyed I had been doing their services (but he didn't intend to even come to the yard and I don't take liverys money!!)
I have realised this is not where I want to be at all as I love all of said livery people&horses. I spoke to my mum and the other livery and we are going to see a new yard tomorrow which is very near and there's a horse for loan there too which I have just enquired about (wish me luck:D )
So maybe this was all good and hopefully this will work out for the better! Thank you all for being supportive and giving me courage to know Its not me having unrealistic expectations and that I needed to speak up! I'm feeling so much better now!:)
 
So pleased to read your update, well done for speaking up, it is hard to do, so glad your Mum and friends have an alternative to look at.

I will have my fingers crossed for you tomorrow, I do hope the new yard works out, please let us know.
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Top