Dont know what to do! :( opinions please!

nuttypony

New User
Joined
24 October 2012
Messages
8
Visit site
Hello!

so basically, I brought a pony called daisy about 2 1/2 years ago now, as a very messed up and unhappy youngster, brought her on lovely had great fun at local shows and hunting/funrides! However I do have a gelding who I've had for years and is the one I compete properly show jumping. So I needed to sell Daisy as I was finishing school and getting a job, so affording 2 horses was going to be difficult without my parents help and I couldnt really jusitfy keeping her as she didnt really do much.

Finally only sold her as I was selling to a friend who she seemed pefect for, she came and tried her out a few times and everything was all smiles and 'yes shes the perfect pony for me'.
I did obviously get upset at selling her but convinced myself it was for the best for everyone including her as she would get to have alot more time spent on her and hid my emotions, not even crying once.
I've kept in good contact with my friend/her new owner and we have mutual friends, and I know they've struggled with some stuff (she was a strange pony) and she didnt always listen to my advice and learnt the hard way when Daisy would shut down and missbehaved or worked herself up into a state and get panicky.

Now 6 months down the line, I'm independant and paying my parents rent, paying everything for myself and my own horse and working a few days a week.
I am suddenly hearing from alot of mutual friends and by facebook statuses by her that shes not getting on with her at all, she never even liked her when she tried her, she wishes she'd never brought her, shes was way too overpriced etc.. but then the next minuite is saying how much shes improved and how she loves her.

Obviously Im devastated, and desperately want her back. I'm willing to work loads more to pay for two, althought it would take a while to get the intial money to buy her back, so I asked my parents for help and not being horsey they didnt understand and said if I want her it has to be on my own. So now I'm stuck at a dilemna, I really just wanted her back with me and my gelding where she was happy, and I dont think I realised just how much she meant to me up until now, I've been an emotional wreck for days (which If you know me is totally out of character) Am I being a bit stupid caring this much for a horse? Should I just let it go and try and move on? Or should I try and work my absoult brains off, cut back on all luxuries and sell everything I dont need and beg her to let me buy her back? I've been kept up all night for the last week just worrying and crying and depserately trying to figure out plans in my head.

Anybodies input or opinions would be much appreciated and sorry for the huge story!
 

I See Clover

Well-Known Member
Joined
8 February 2011
Messages
531
Visit site
I would just like to say that you sound like a very responsible person.

It sounds like the girl is throwing her toys out the pram when things aren't going her way and the pony misbehaves, but absolutely adores the pony when it is going well for her. A lot of people say things they dont mean in the heat of the moment.

Do you know the issues she is having with the pony and how bad things actually are?

If the situation isn't too serious and the girl is just being a bit immature, maybe you could try offering a helping hand instead of putting yourself under such pressure to get the pony back?

I wouldn't make any rash decisions yet until you find out exactly what is going on.
 
Last edited:

Trinity Fox

Well-Known Member
Joined
12 April 2010
Messages
821
Visit site
Ok first of all when you are reading about her on facebook or wherever are you sure they are struggling or are they just being a bit dramatic, if you really want to buy back you have to play it cool and no begging.

I would observe from afar see what is happening then possibly make an offer on the premis that I was looking for a good pony for a friend, it stops them asking a silly price and also gives them a get out if the pony is too much without shame.
 

Burmilla

Well-Known Member
Joined
17 June 2012
Messages
845
Visit site
How about contacting her current owner and see if you can pop over and see the mare, to marvel at her overall apparent improvement, etc. Make an evaluation of horse's quality of life, fitness, presentation, and safety with friend. Ask her what her plans are for Daisy and why is she posting that she doesn't like or want her, despite her improvement. Then you will hear it sraight from the owner and can make plans accordingly. Good luck and hugs.
 

popeyesno1fan

Well-Known Member
Joined
3 July 2012
Messages
526
Location
Ireland
Visit site
I would just like to say that you sound like a very responsible person.

It sounds like the girl is throwing her toys out the pram when things aren't going her way and the pony misbehaves, but absolutely adores the pony when it is going well for her. A lot a people say things they dont mean in the heat of the moment.

Do you know the issues she is having the pony and how bad things actually are?

If the situation isn't too serious and the girl is just being a bit immature, maybe you could try offering a helping hand instead of putting yourself under such pressure to get the pony back?

I wouldn't make any rash decisions yet until you find out exactly what is going on.
Ditto to all of this well done for being responsible, I would wait and see for the time being, maybe doing a little more work to start saving to buy her back if you have to, if not, you'll have a nice holiday. Thats the reason that i dont think i could ever sell to someone i know, it would break my heart to not have input when they are not doing it the way i would have liked. )Obviously, when they are sold, you dont have input, but it would kill me to see someone doing it wrong). Just me being silly, good job i dont sell too often. xx
 

nuttypony

New User
Joined
24 October 2012
Messages
8
Visit site
Well Daisy was always abit of a worrier and if her situations and environments were managed right she was happy as pie. I think she feels she doesnt have much of a connction with her and she did have an awful accident which I wont go into detail about but I found out from a video on youtube of her cuts and was absoluetly horrified and was caused by them doing something with her I told them she doesnt like. I mean dont get me wrong shes happy and healthy and looked after well, its just little stuff like I drove past her field the other day on my way to work at notice she didnt have a rug on after being fully clipped in the pouring down rain. I've offered to help numerous times but she doesnt seem to want my help and ive only been alowed to visit twice since I sold her , I've tried not to be pushy or anything as I'm terrified she'll drop all contact completely. I do feel liek shes slating me abit aswell always posting stuff to get reactions like getting everyone to constantly tell her how much shes improved and shes doing a great job, when in reality shes gone very downhill, shes used win novice dressage test with me easily, and now she cant even keep a simple contact. ahhh its all very stressfull!
 

nuttypony

New User
Joined
24 October 2012
Messages
8
Visit site
And when I've asked to visit shes always said shes busy and maybe another time, its only been when a mutual friend has arranged it, I've actually been able to go. Dont get me wrong though shes is really really well looked after, just not nessesarily In the same way I would do things, and I made sure only to sell her when I was 100% happy she was over her problems and told them how to manage her in certain situations if she did get a little panicky, thanks for all the input guys, thought I was just being abit crazy here and its hard trying to keep very nicey nicey with her when really I just wana slap her and fetch my pony back, but thats me being silly haha!
 

I See Clover

Well-Known Member
Joined
8 February 2011
Messages
531
Visit site
Well Daisy was always abit of a worrier and if her situations and environments were managed right she was happy as pie. I think she feels she doesnt have much of a connction with her and she did have an awful accident which I wont go into detail about but I found out from a video on youtube of her cuts and was absoluetly horrified and was caused by them doing something with her I told them she doesnt like. I mean dont get me wrong shes happy and healthy and looked after well, its just little stuff like I drove past her field the other day on my way to work at notice she didnt have a rug on after being fully clipped in the pouring down rain. I've offered to help numerous times but she doesnt seem to want my help and ive only been alowed to visit twice since I sold her , I've tried not to be pushy or anything as I'm terrified she'll drop all contact completely. I do feel liek shes slating me abit aswell always posting stuff to get reactions like getting everyone to constantly tell her how much shes improved and shes doing a great job, when in reality shes gone very downhill, shes used win novice dressage test with me easily, and now she cant even keep a simple contact. ahhh its all very stressfull!

OP I do feel for you, it's definitely not an ideal situation to be in. Unfortunately, there isn't a lot that you can do if they don't want your help. As you probably know, it's up to them whether or not they want to rug her etc and if you said anything to them you would be hindering your chances of visiting again.

The girl is being very immature in her attempts to belittle you. The best thing you can do is rise above it and don't show that it is getting to you. She will feed off any kind of reaction you give her.

The decision as to whether you buy her back or not is entirely yours. The crux of the matter is, the pony is not in dire need. Although they are not looking after and riding the pony in the way you would, she is still being cared for.

So the question is - how badly do you want her back? If the girl is really not getting along with the pony I doubt they will want keep her for much longer, so maybe this could be your chance to jump in? It might be a bit of a waiting game though.
 

nuttypony

New User
Joined
24 October 2012
Messages
8
Visit site
Yes totally understand she is theirs so they can look after her how they choose, and I've tried to stay away, the old owner of my gelding who Ive had for 8 years still comes up regularly with the whole family to see him and I've never had a problem with that so I guess why I cant understand Daisys owner. Im defiantely going to try and relax and not think about it too much, whilst waiting patiently and working more hours and cutting back just to put that money aside for if and when she decides to sell her. I've got more interested in hunting and doing dressage (although my showjumper doesnt haha) so I would have a use for her now too. Thanks for you all not making me feel like I'm being silly, I guess everyone on here can relate well to how attatched we get to our 4 legged friends! She is the last horse I'll ever sell for sure, the geldings never going anywhere!
 

I See Clover

Well-Known Member
Joined
8 February 2011
Messages
531
Visit site
Yes totally understand she is theirs so they can look after her how they choose, and I've tried to stay away, the old owner of my gelding who Ive had for 8 years still comes up regularly with the whole family to see him and I've never had a problem with that so I guess why I cant understand Daisys owner. Im defiantely going to try and relax and not think about it too much, whilst waiting patiently and working more hours and cutting back just to put that money aside for if and when she decides to sell her. I've got more interested in hunting and doing dressage (although my showjumper doesnt haha) so I would have a use for her now too. Thanks for you all not making me feel like I'm being silly, I guess everyone on here can relate well to how attatched we get to our 4 legged friends! She is the last horse I'll ever sell for sure, the geldings never going anywhere!

I don't really understand it either tbh, but some people like to keep themselves to themselves. Also, by what the girl has been saying, they think they are above your help.

Taking up more hours and saving up is a good idea. That way, if the time comes when they want rid of the pony, you are in a better position financially to buy her back should you wish to.

You are not being silly in the slightest. I think you are acting very responsibly and it shows how much you care for your horses.

I hope everything works out well in the end :)
 
Top