dont want her to ride my horse

H

holz_rider

New User
Joined
27 November 2013
Messages
9
Visit site
a girl at my yard keeps on at me to ride my horse but I really don't want her to, I rarely let anyone ride him but I don't know how to tell her she cant without upsetting her what can I say? or am I being nasty not letting her ? :confused: I
 
Does she let you ride her horse? If she does then it's not very fair of you not to let her ride yours. If you don't ride hers then just tell her you don't want to get into swapping rides, sorry. Or use the old insurance fall back "My insurance doesn't cover him ridden by anyone else".
 
Just tell her politely but firmly that you are precious about your horse and don't like others to ride it. If you say nothing she will probably keep on suggesting it. You don't need to be rude or nasty - just honest.
 
Saying no, is a skill many of us find difficult but its an essential one. Just look at her directly, smile and say 'No, I don't tend to let people ride him.' Don't make excuses as that will give her the opportunity to find a way round your reasons. A simple 'no' will do. Your friend doesn't worry that her cheeky request will offend or upset you, so why does the thought of upsetting her make you feel guilty ? It'll only upset her if she wants to use it as a manipulating tool to get her own way.
 
She is indeed being a bit cheeky and I agree that saying no politely but firmly is a good skill to acquire.
I am in my 40s and I still struggle with it, had a lot of people ask to borrow my horse, it is annoying but once I firmed up a bit they soon stopped asking.
 
I would NEVER ask someone if I could ride their horse. Even if it were my best friend. I wouldn't worry about hurting her feelings to be honest. They are bang out of order asking.
 
I'd just be very polite and say "no", it's very cheeky of her to ask you. I always make it VERY clear to anyone who so much as hints at riding my horses that no one rides them other than me and my trainer.
 
I agree with all above, I have had this in the past when I was younger and didn't have the confidence to say no and god how I regretted it.
Now I just say how precious I am about my horse and don't like anyone else riding, seems to work. I tend to drop it into general conversation so the question never arises now.
Good luck saying no, such a hard word sometimes.
 
Just say no then the death stare.

If I think someone is good enough/deserving enough/or if I think it will help their riding then they get offered a ride on my horse. Anything else, the death stare.

I cannot bear people that hang around being annoying. It pays to be clear.
 
Everyone has the right to say no.
No is not merely a full sentence, it is a full conversation that has now ended.
No means no.
People who cannot grasp no have issues they need to work on and resolve.

The above printed on a Hi-Vis vest would be a nice xmas gift for that special person on the yard, who just keeps on asking...
 
Arizahn said:
Everyone has the right to say no.
No is not merely a full sentence, it is a full conversation that has now ended.
No means no.
People who cannot grasp no have issues they need to work on and resolve.

The above printed on a Hi-Vis vest would be a nice xmas gift for that special person on the yard, who just keeps on asking...
Click to expand...

:D think I'll get a few "buy your own blinkin' trailer" ones printed for a few acquaintances...
 
The insurance wont cover it is a good one if you're worried about hurting her feelings.

Personally,. im not precious about who rides my horse but as she's only 4 and can have spells of being naughty it would have to be someone i thoroughly trust and be a skilled and competent rider. I dont think its a bad thing for horses that are only ridden by their owners to be ridden by someone else occasionally- although this may just be their trainer- and gives the usual rider/owner a chance to see how their horse is going from the ground.
 
Ive just posted almost the same question- (sorry everyone!)

Its so difficult isn't it. At least my pestering person isn't located at my yard so I only get asked on the odd occasions we meet up!
 
It's your horse.
You don't have to give a reason, just say no thank you.
If they get petty, then they aren't worth bothering with and are arnt good friends and are just using you.
 
I have just been asked by my cousin (a novice with 4 lessons under her belt) if she can have a ride this weekend. The one horse who would have been suitable is retired with arthritis. The two ridden ones (mine and my eldest daughter's ) are both very well behaved in the main but are babies and can still have moments. We are both working on using very light aids so are reluctant to have someone pulling and kicking them. It feels mean to say no, especially as she is so keen and only gets to ride whilst at Uni. I remember the days when I would give anything to get near a horse. Tricky.
 
MadBlackLab said:
call me suspicious but think this post is a wind up. too many of these been happening recently
Click to expand...

Hardly a wind up. Surely one would think of something a bit more adventurous like "I don't want my horse to feel left out at christmas, is it ok to feed him turkey and ham?"

Its a fairly innocent and standard post
 
I think OP you just need to say "no". Don't apologise, explain, or justify your reasons for doing so. I'm presuming she hasn't offered her horse for other people at the yard to ride? No? I thought not!!

Just in passing: what sort of rider is she? Because it just could be that she's the sort of person who THINKS she can ride better than the owner can; and this type of person can ruin a horse very fast indeed, just one session can do the trick. I mistakenly let someone like this ride my boy; and he dumped her twice within 10 minutes, simply because she got up on him thinking that she "knew it all", THEN I had the mammoth task of sorting him out again which wasn't exactly easy!

Don't do it with yours. Just tell her no, politely. If she persists, you may have to use the "second word is off" rule!! :)
 
MadBlackLab said:
call me suspicious but think this post is a wind up. too many of these been happening recently
Click to expand...

Arzada said:
Maybe but it's still a very useful thread. So hard to say no and there are some good tips here.
Click to expand...

No idea whether this is a genuine post; it didn't occur to me to question it. However, I agree with Arzada - have recently bought a new horse and had a couple of friends hint about seeing what she's like to ride - I don't want anyone else ride her (she's very sharp, & I'm still figuring her out!) but don't want to offend my friends. I've found both of the threads I've read on this topic tonight interesting, so regardless whether this (or any other) is a windup, some people reading it may find it useful.

I often find the same thing with some of the obvious windup threads about feeding/bitting/barefoot - the knowledgeable replies are often great even if the OP thinks they're being funny by starting a controversial thread.
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Top