Elderly mare passed away.. seeking experiences / closure

[Equidarby]

I lost my mare recently, to circumstances I don’t think we‘ll ever fully know, but I’m hoping to hear if anyone has had or heard of any similar experiences.

She was an old girl, exact age unknown but late 20’s at least up to as old as 30ish.
Started displaying some slightly odd behaviour - ‘dazed’ look, a bit lethargic off her hard feed but eating grass and hay, not interested in her usual banana that she absolutely loved and just generally slow, like the lights were on but nobody’s home. Said mare normally hated hay, but loved her hard feed so I knew her eating habits were strange.
up until she started this behaviour she was still a very happy and energetic hacker even at her age.

I thought she’d had a stroke. Vet came but she had improved, eating normal and perkier. Vet took bloods to see what they showed but suggested as she had improved could’ve been a neurological episode that is unfortunately a sign of her deteriorating in her old age.

bloods came back showing she‘d had a virus, but as she had improved vets were happy she seemed to be getting over this herself quite well, said if anything changed we would put her on antibiotics.

moving on a few days, she had deteriorated slightly again, not eating hard feed again but will eat the hay and grass and took a couple of mint treats, but didn’t want her usual bananas again, spent a lot of time stood still dazed again, she also became a bit wobbly.
Got back in touch with the vets and they were due to come first thing in the morning, but to our shock we found her passed away in her field. No signs of a struggle, led flat on her side almost as if she’d led down to sleep and not woken up again.

Vet reassured us that it wasn’t something we could have prevented happening, but I feel a bit lost as to how she passed so quickly after initially looking like she was improving. Has anyone had experiences like this with older horses and whether this sounds like a stroke? Or neuro?

I'm heartbroken and I know I’ll never truly know, but I think it would help to get a bit of closure from others who may have experienced something similar. Thank you.

 

[paddi22]

we had a pony pass away the exact same way. the vet hospital said it was a probably a stroke. Our mare displayed similar symptoms to yours in her behaviour the days beforehand. They said that was due to parts of her body/organs shutting down due to old age. our pony seemed to go deaf and semi-blind the days beforehand, and would seem dazed, but then seem to pull out of it for a while. she also lost her appetite as well but would pick at stuff the odd time.

your horse sounds like it had a very peaceful passing at home and went the most gentle way possible. it's always tough trying to rationalise and analyse what happened, but in reality, old age gets to them all, and the symptoms vary between horses. you did everything you could do, and nothing could have prevented it. your horse was very lucky to have had such a lovely home and caring owner, andwhat happened was totally natural and a result of a happy long life. it is the hardest thing with horses facing the fact that we have to lose them, and what you are feeling now is a natural part of grief. take care of yourself and be reassured you did all you could and your horse had a natural peaceful end.

 

[shortstuff99]

My old mare at around 30 died of a stroke/ brain tumour due to her cushings. Was very shocking to see happen. She got very wobbly to walk, not all there at all (but going through motions of eating).

Unfortunately at that age there is not much you can do really, the only possible treatment is powerful steroids and other drugs that can cause as many problems as they solve!

But it is still shocking and sad even when they are elderly so take care of yourself. Take comfort in that she had a good long life.

 

[Birker2020]

So sorry to hear of your mare. It must be such a shock for you.

It sounds a bit like cognitive dysfunction that dogs get when they get older. Its a bit like dementia but in animals.

But equally it could have been a stroke. We had a horse at the yard years ago that exhibited some of the symptoms your mare had, the vet thought he'd had a stroke, he was pressing his head against the stable, appeared dazed and not quite with it and seemed to go blind for a time.


For years I kept thinking my 14 year old horse had had a heart attack, the symptoms he had prior to collapsing and dying in front of the yard owner sounded just like that. But recently I had a chat with someone whose daughter lost her horse from a bleed on the brain and remembered that about 18 months prior to Billy dying suddenly, he had allegedly gone over backwards and banged his head on the floor and was incredibly dazed. I wasn't with him at the time but that was the story I had from the girl whose horse was loose on the yard and had been allowed to go up behind him startling him. The emergency vet came and he was concussed. He was fine for 18 months until he dropped down dead in the paddock. Now I think it was due to a slow bleed on the brain.

There is no point in looking back like I did, it will drive you crazy looking for an answer that you might not ever have, she had a lovely long life and sounds like she was a much loved horse. I am so sorry for your loss.

 

[Ratface]

I'm so sorry that you have lost your lovely old mare.
It sounds as if she had a wonderful, kind life with you.
You gave her something that so many horses never have.
Thank you. Deep condolences.

 

[rextherobber]

So very sorry for your loss, an awful shock for you, but sounds like the perfect way to go for your old girl. Thinking of you, it's the day those of us with oldies all dread.

 

[Annagain]

I lost my old boy 18 years ago now to colic. He was fine going into his stable the night before and had eaten a full hay net so can't have been suffering for long and there was no sign of a struggle. He was a s feisty as they come normally but it seems he just gave in to it. He was down and very sad but rallied a little when he saw me, getting up and whinnying at me. The vet was there in 1/2 an hour and 1/4 an hour after that, he was gone. At the time the shock was horrific, I cried for days but as it eased, I started to feel grateful that he hadn't suffered for long, he was still active and happy right up until his last day. It was the best way for him to go and he looked after me to the end by sparing me that decision. This is my overwhelming feeling now. Once the shock starts to wear off, I'm sure you'll start to feel the same. I hope you get there soon

 

[Fransurrey]

Sorry to read this. I found my old boy passed away many years ago, now. In his case he'd clearly colicked as he'd banged into the walls of his stable and thrashed around. In your case it sounds like neurological, so brain tumour, or transient ischemic attacks leading to the main stroke, both of which would explain the ataxia and odd behaviour. Nothing you could have done about it, but the only way to know for sure is a post mortem. I have a pic somewhere of my Exmoor's brain with the huge tumour in it, extending into the thalamus. He was also intermittently ataxic, before he was pts. Big hugs to you. I remember when I found the really old boy dead it was a massive shock and the guilt was awful, as I was late up that evening due to a work colleague's 50th. I beat myself up for a long time for that. At least you can say you did everything you could. x

 

[Equidarby]

Thank you so much to all of you who have left replies so far, you’ve given me some comfort at a tough time and I thank you for taking the time to share some of your tough experiences as well. Your lovely messages all mean a great deal to myself and I really appreciate it. Thank you so so much x

 

[nagblagger]

I am so sorry you found your companion like that, at least you didn't have to make the final decision and she passed in her 'home'.
Did the vet include liver enzymes in the blood work up? A donkey had similar and it was liver damage, the neurological symptoms were the toxins building up.
I'm going to be a bit macabre but how did you dispose of her, my knackerman is so experienced I have asked him before if to phone me with any abnormalities he finds.

 

[paddy555]

I'm sorry about your mare and the way it happened. Sadly you never get a reason in black and white so that you can come to terms with it.
I had a donkey, he was 20 (not old for a donkey) and although he was a rescue as a tiny foal he had had nearly 20 years of healthy life. No reason to suspect anything when I went to bed. When I opened the back door the next day I just knew he was dead. It was a long walk down the field but there he was right at the bottom, nothing to suggest he struggled, nothing horrible, just my poor dead donkey. Heart attack, stroke? who knows.

 

[Equidarby]

I am so sorry you found your companion like that, at least you didn't have to make the final decision and she passed in her 'home'.
Did the vet include liver enzymes in the blood work up? A donkey had similar and it was liver damage, the neurological symptoms were the toxins building up.
I'm going to be a bit macabre but how did you dispose of her, my knackerman is so experienced I have asked him before if to phone me with any abnormalities he finds.

Thank you for your message, The vet never mentioned anything relating to her liver but that did cross my mind too. The vets still came out that morning so they put me in touch with their contact, she was cremated but no ashes back. They were faultless and came out within a couple of hours of the vets speaking to them.

 

[Equidarby]

I'm sorry about your mare and the way it happened. Sadly you never get a reason in black and white so that you can come to terms with it.
I had a donkey, he was 20 (not old for a donkey) and although he was a rescue as a tiny foal he had had nearly 20 years of healthy life. No reason to suspect anything when I went to bed. When I opened the back door the next day I just knew he was dead. It was a long walk down the field but there he was right at the bottom, nothing to suggest he struggled, nothing horrible, just my poor dead donkey. Heart attack, stroke? who knows.

I’m sorry you had to experience this too, it leaves so many questions doesn’t it! But I do get some peace from the fact she died at home in the field where she loved (she hated being stabled!)

 

[MiJodsR2BlinkinTite]

Couldn't just bypass this without saying how sorry I am - it must have been a huge shock and you will be feeling devastated right now.

However I am not sure you will ever find out exactly what happened; and - as kindly as possible - I would urge you to perhaps not delve too deeply into the reasons. Your mare passed away in the field: her "space" where she was happy - and she was obviously ready to go and saved you the heartache & trauma of having to "make the decision" for her.........

So sorry for your loss.

 

[Barton Bounty]

Im too am sorry you found her this way but I also think you are incredibly lucky to have had such a wonderful bond. I hope I find my boy having had a happy life in his old age and just passed away in his sleep. I think we are all in the boat of dreading to have to make a decision.

 

[Xmasha]

Im so sorry for your loss.
We had a very similar experience last month. My dear old Asha had been absolutely fine all year, slowing down a bit yes, but nothing worringly so. Then i started to notice a bit of a change in her. Just a weird expression at times, losing interest in her grandkids. Vet came and ran some bloods but all checked out ok. One day she struggled to find me, i was calling her and she came over but stopped about 10 metres from the fence and looked confused/scared. So got the vet back and asked him to check eyes, he confirmed a slight cataract in one eye. She had started with a very slight head wobble when resting . So when we put all these odd behaviours together we decided it was time. We came to the conclusion that it was a neuro/brain tumour issue.Vet said the only way to know would be an MRI and even then it doesnt always pick things up. So even if you had investigated you may never have known.
It does sound as though she went peacefully, which is what we all want for them.
Take care of yourself, they leave a massive hole x

 

[SEL]

I'm so sorry she went suddenly - I had my gelding PTS a couple of months ago and it really does hit you hard.

A good friend lost her old boy with similar symptoms to yours except he had a seizure so the vet came for an emergency visit and they called time there and then. The vet said it was very likely a tumour and its not uncommon in elderly horses sadly. Its tough when they seem well but go downhill so suddenly. It sounds like she was peaceful at the end which is all we can ever hope for xx

 

[ycbm]

I'm sorry you've lost her, it hurts no matter how and when it happens. But don't lose sight of the fact that 30 is a very old horse and you got her fit and healthy to that old age, when she died a quiet, peaceful death of just that, old age.

Between the tears, try and congratulate yourself for that.
.

 

[Equidarby]

Thank you everyone so so much. You have all been so kind with your messages and condolences. You have certainly given me some comfort in reading them. Give all of your four legged family an extra hug tonight in memory of Tilly x

 

[Errin Paddywack]

I lost a pony mare like this a few years ago. She was about 24 and apparently fit and well. I noticed the night before when she came for her feed that she was crossing her front feet but she ate up alright so didn't worry. My sister found her dead in the field next day, no sign of a struggle, we guessed heart attack. Terrible shock.

 

[Equidarby]

I lost a pony mare like this a few years ago. She was about 24 and apparently fit and well. I noticed the night before when she came for her feed that she was crossing her front feet but she ate up alright so didn't worry. My sister found her dead in the field next day, no sign of a struggle, we guessed heart attack. Terrible shock.

Yes that sounds very similar, it’s a big shock isn’t it but I’ve took comfort in her passing peacefully in her own home. I hope you found peace with that too x

 

[splashgirl45]

I feel very sad you have lost her but it sounds like she went to sleep and didn’t wake up, what a nice way to go for her. although it was a shock you didn’t have to make that final decision which is horrible. Hope you can soon remember all the good times and look after yourself.

 

[Equidarby]

I feel very sad you have lost her but it sounds like she went to sleep and didn’t wake up, what a nice way to go for her. although it was a shock you didn’t have to make that final decision which is horrible. Hope you can soon remember all the good times and look after yourself.

Thank you for your message, yes I can definitely take some comfort in that x